A trouble-free daughter-in-law. Daughter-in-law - who is she and who needs it? Separation saved the day
Such diversity in the sexual life of men, elders in a large peasant family, where under one roof two or three or even more “cells of society” existed and conducted joint households, oddly enough, in the villages themselves in the 18th - 19th centuries there was not much was condemned. Perhaps because so many villagers lived this way, unable to separate themselves from the family of their father, father-in-law or father-in-law.
The reason for this incest
Daughters-in-law were called fathers-in-law who cohabited with their daughters-in-law (daughters-in-law for mothers-in-law). Such fornication was possible mainly in families where families of parents and sons were forced to coexist in one hut (hut). Sometimes even the presence of a legal husband was not an obstacle to attacks on his wife by his father-in-law. But most often such adultery was committed during the absence of the spouse.
At first, daughter-in-law was practiced in families where sons were recruited. Military service in pre-revolutionary Russia was very long - from 1793 to 1874, recruits served for 25 years. Then this period was reduced to 7 years, only by 1906 it dropped to 3 years.
Then the main reason for the absence of young husbands and, accordingly, the reason for attacks on the honor of their wives left at home, was the latrine trade. Guys and young men went to work in cities and other villages for a long time, and in the meantime the “elders in the house” had fun with their spouses.
In the Black Earth Region, and in other regions of Russia, in the 19th century, fathers often married their teenage sons to 16-17 year old girls, often specifically with an eye to their further sexual diversity. After the wedding, the young man, at the insistence of the head of the family, soon went to work, visiting his wife only a couple of times a year.
The Russian Orthodox Church considered such cohabitation to be incest (incest). In particular, according to the definition of the Russian Orthodox Church, daughter-in-law was one of the reasons for the dissolution of a church marriage.
Gave me a handkerchief and shut my mouth
The daughter-in-law (daughter-in-law), being, in fact, a hanger-on in the house of her husband’s parents, was sometimes the most powerless and unhappy member of the family. Her mother-in-law hated her, and her father-in-law “used her at his own discretion.” Both could drag down young women with the hardest peasant labor, entrusting them with the most menial chores around the house.
There was no salvation from anywhere - if the wife told her husband about the encroachments of her father-in-law, the husband most often beat the woman to death. The volost courts avoided considering complaints about daughter-in-law. Temporary refuge in the house of one’s parents also did not solve the problem - anyway, the father and mother soon sent the unfortunate daughter back (“what will people say”).
Forcing sexual intercourse on the part of the father-in-law was a simple matter - the owner of the situation, with the help of persuasion, gifts and promises not to burden him with housework, and most often got his way in the field. Moreover, as a rule, the young woman had nowhere to go anyway. The gift could be an ordinary scarf (in villages all married women were required to wear such hats all year round) or some kind of trinket.
Dreaming is widely reflected in Russian literature and in domestic cinematography - in particular, N. S. Leskov wrote about it in the story “The Life of a Woman” and mentioned it in the novel “Quiet Don” by M. A. Sholokhov. Accordingly, the special relationship between daughter-in-law and father-in-law is also shown in the film adaptation of these works.
Separation saved the day
“The housing problem has spoiled them,” said M. A. Bulgakov about Muscovites on another occasion. With regard to the phenomenon of daughter-in-law, the problem also largely depended on the traditions of close cohabitation of the patriarchal family, when several generations huddled under one roof.
As soon as this way of coexistence in Russia after the 19th century began to collapse, and in the villages parents and married children began to live separately, the phenomenon of cohabitation between fathers-in-law and daughters-in-law gradually lost its relevance.
Such diversity in the sexual life of men, elders in a large peasant family, where under one roof two or three or even more “cells of society” existed and conducted joint households, oddly enough, in the villages themselves in the 18th - 19th centuries there was not much was condemned. Perhaps because so many villagers lived this way, unable to separate themselves from the family of their father, father-in-law or father-in-law.
The reason for this incest
Daughters-in-law were called fathers-in-law who cohabited with their daughters-in-law (daughters-in-law for mothers-in-law). Such fornication was possible mainly in families where families of parents and sons were forced to coexist in one hut (hut). Sometimes even the presence of a legal husband was not an obstacle to attacks on his wife by his father-in-law. But most often such adultery was committed during the absence of the spouse.
At first, daughter-in-law was practiced in families where sons were recruited. Military service in pre-revolutionary Russia was very long - from 1793 to 1874, recruits served for 25 years. Then this period was reduced to 7 years, only by 1906 it dropped to 3 years.
Then the main reason for the absence of young husbands and, accordingly, the reason for attacks on the honor of their wives left at home, was the latrine trade. Guys and young men went to work in cities and other villages for a long time, and in the meantime the “elders in the house” had fun with their spouses.
In the Black Earth Region, and in other regions of Russia, in the 19th century, fathers often married their teenage sons to 16-17 year old girls, often specifically with an eye to their further sexual diversity. After the wedding, the young man, at the insistence of the head of the family, soon went to work, visiting his wife only a couple of times a year.
The Russian Orthodox Church considered such cohabitation to be incest (incest). In particular, according to the definition of the Russian Orthodox Church, daughter-in-law was one of the reasons for the dissolution of a church marriage.
Gave me a handkerchief and shut my mouth
The daughter-in-law (daughter-in-law), being, in fact, a hanger-on in the house of her husband’s parents, was sometimes the most powerless and unhappy member of the family. Her mother-in-law hated her, and her father-in-law “used her at his own discretion.” Both could drag down young women with the hardest peasant labor, entrusting them with the most menial chores around the house.
There was no salvation from anywhere - if the wife told her husband about the encroachments of her father-in-law, the husband most often beat the woman to death. The volost courts avoided considering complaints about daughter-in-law. Temporary refuge in the house of one’s parents also did not solve the problem - anyway, the father and mother soon sent the unfortunate daughter back (“what will people say”).
Forcing sexual intercourse on the part of the father-in-law was a simple matter - the owner of the situation, with the help of persuasion, gifts and promises not to burden him with housework, and most often got his way in the field. Moreover, as a rule, the young woman had nowhere to go anyway. The gift could be an ordinary scarf (in villages all married women were required to wear such hats all year round) or some kind of trinket.
Dreaming is widely reflected in Russian literature and in domestic cinematography - in particular, N. S. Leskov wrote about it in the story “The Life of a Woman” and mentioned it in the novel “Quiet Don” by M. A. Sholokhov. Accordingly, the special relationship between daughter-in-law and father-in-law is also shown in the film adaptation of these works.
Separation saved the day
“The housing problem has spoiled them,” said M. A. Bulgakov about Muscovites on another occasion. With regard to the phenomenon of daughter-in-law, the problem also largely depended on the traditions of close cohabitation of the patriarchal family, when several generations huddled under one roof.
As soon as this way of coexistence in Russia after the 19th century began to collapse, and in the villages parents and married children began to live separately, the phenomenon of cohabitation between fathers-in-law and daughters-in-law gradually lost its relevance.
I'm in a sticky situation and I'm asking for your advice! Six months ago I married a wonderful young man for love. We live in perfect harmony, we even get along with our mother-in-law, but there is trouble with our father-in-law. He shows me unambiguous signs of attention, eats me with his eyes, and I don’t even understand how my mother-in-law hasn’t noticed this yet! And I am very scared that I will be to blame for this situation! At first I did not react in any way to this behavior of my father-in-law, then I began to pull him back, reminding him that I was his son’s wife, but he did not stop harassing me. For now, we cannot move out from our in-laws due to financial circumstances. I haven’t told my husband yet either, I’m afraid that this will lead to a conflict. But you can’t leave it like that either. Please advise how I can cool my father-in-law's ardor?
Sveta, Moscow, 21 years old / 01/13/11
Our experts' opinions
Alyona
Conflict in such a situation is still inevitable. So, in my opinion, you need to prepare the ground so that you are not made the last one in this conflict. The fact is that these three characters are close relatives: father, mother and son. It will be easier for them to accept the version that an outsider, an outsider, is to blame for the destruction of their family, and not someone from within. So get ready... If the father-in-law cannot calm down, it means, most likely, this person does not have high moral and ethical qualities. Why should he lie to you if something happens? And who will your husband believe if he suddenly finds a scene in which your father-in-law is groping you in the corner? Even if you start screaming that this lustful goat has been stalking you for a long time, what do you think your husband’s response will be? “If this is true, why have you been silent until now?!” And he will be right to stop believing you. After all, you yourself don’t trust him if you don’t want to ask him for help. I would do this: I wouldn’t tell my husband directly that his father is dirty on you. But she would begin to sow a gradual “panic” in her husband’s head about daddy’s behavior. For example, I would say to my husband: “Listen, can you watch your father from the side? Maybe I've already gone completely crazy, but he behaves strangely around me. Don't get me wrong, but honestly, if he weren't your father, I'd think he had his eye on me. Maybe he even has this style of communicating with young girls?” And so on. And every attempt by your father-in-law to show you certain signs of attention, voice it out loud to your husband in an innocent form - throw some kind of poisoned darts. For example: “Your dad took a piss today, of course. I’m standing in the kitchen, he walks by and slaps me on the ass... I couldn’t even find what to say to him to this... If it were a stranger, I would yell at him, but here you don’t understand: is this some kind of fatherly sign of attention, either he confused me with your mother...” In addition, try not to be alone or close to your father-in-law, always put someone else between him and yourself - your husband or mother-in-law. If in this case he tries to unambiguously “stick” you, do not appeal to his reason and morality, it will not work. Your weapon is irony and sarcasm, and such that not only he, but also those around him can hear them. Let's say you are sitting at the table, your husband is on the left, his dad is on the right and puts his hand on your knee. You: “Oh, Ivan Ivanovich, haven’t you confused my knee with yours?” Take your hand off my knee, otherwise I’ll think something bad about you.” And so on. Don’t accuse him of flirting, but catch him in the ambiguity of his behavior in front of witnesses. Then there is a greater chance that the husband himself will want to have a heart-to-heart talk with dad, and will quickly find financial opportunities for his parents to move out. And if the husband is slow-witted, then “plan B”: you throw a tantrum at him, tell him with tears that you are tired of living in someone else’s house, you want independence, you want to live as your own real family, and not be an eternal guest in someone else’s. Just like that - into tears and hysterics. For if a husband is comfortable in his parents’ house, he may not start fussing about his own corner for a very long time. And in your case, the faster you move at least somewhere away from his parents, the greater the chance of saving the family.
Sergey
In my opinion, if you live with your husband in perfect harmony, then it is worth discussing the situation with him. But it’s better to do this without blaming anyone, but as if asking for advice. Tell us what is happening, say that you don’t like it, you really don’t want to make a scandal and quarrel with your relatives, but you don’t have the strength to endure it anymore. Ask for advice on what to do, what to do in this or that case. Perhaps you are simply misinterpreting manifestations of fatherly love. This is also possible. Maybe. I think if your relationship is really close and trusting, then you’ll come up with something together. Although personally, if my wife told me this, I would immediately move away from such relatives. The trouble with this situation is that wherever you throw it, there is a wedge everywhere. Trying to influence your father-in-law on your own, as I understand it, is pointless. You can, of course, threaten, saying that if you allow yourself to do anything like that again, I will tell my husband everything or I will pack my things and leave, and deal with my son later as you wish. It is precisely to threaten, decisively and harshly, and not to mumble something unintelligible, trying to appeal to conscience. But practice shows that a person who allows himself to pester his son’s wife cannot be brought to reason with such threats. You will only provoke and embitter. You can complain to your mother-in-law. But, I assure you, she is far from stupid and not blind. And if the father-in-law really allows himself too much, he probably sees everything and only grits his teeth. And if so, then there will be no sense in it, otherwise she would have expressed everything to her husband long ago. The husband remains. After all, it was he who took you as his wife, he promised to keep you and love you, he brought you to this house. So let him solve the problem with his own lustful daddy. Well, as a last option, you can just leave silently. And when everyone runs in together, when the husband comes running to find out what the matter is, tell him everything as it is and say that you will never set foot in that house again. In any case, in my opinion, this matter will not be resolved peacefully. So why waste time?
In Rus' in the old days there were such shocking customs that now make you feel uneasy. And for some you can easily get a criminal sentence, writes UKROP with reference to ostrnum.com.
Here are seven of the strangest rituals, especially affecting women and children.
Daughtership
This neutral word was used to describe sexual intercourse between father-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Not that it was approved, but it was considered a very minor sin. Often fathers married their sons at 12-13 years old to girls 16-17 years old. In the meantime, the guys were catching up with their young wives in development, dad was working off conjugal duties for them.
A completely win-win option was to send my son to work for six months, or even better, to the army for twenty years. Then the daughter-in-law, remaining in her husband’s family, had practically no chance of refusing her father-in-law. If she resisted, she did the hardest and dirtiest work and put up with the constant nagging of the “starshak” (as the head of the family was called). Nowadays law enforcement agencies would talk to the senior leader, but then there was nowhere to complain.
Sin of the dump
Nowadays this can only be seen in special films, mainly made in Germany. And before this was done in Russian villages on Ivan Kupala.
This holiday combines pagan and Christian traditions. So, after dancing around the fire, the couples went to look for fern flowers in the forest. Just so you understand, fern does not bloom, it reproduces by spores. This is only an excuse for young people to go into the forest and indulge in carnal pleasures. Moreover, such connections did not oblige either boys or girls to anything.
Gasky
This custom, which can also be called a sin, is described by the Italian traveler Roccolini. All the youth of the village gathered in the big house.
They sang and danced in the light of a torch. And when the torch went out, they indulged in blind lovemaking with the one who happened to be nearby. Then the torch was lit, and the fun and dancing continued again. And so on until dawn. That night when Roccolini got on the Gasky, the torch went out and came on five times. Whether the traveler himself participated in the Russian folk ritual, history is silent.
Overbaking
This ritual has nothing to do with sex, you can relax.
It was customary to “over-bake” a premature or weak child in an oven. Not into kebab, of course, but rather into bread. It was believed that if the baby was not “prepared” in the womb, then it was necessary to bake it yourself. To gain strength and get stronger.
The baby was wrapped in a special rye dough prepared in water. Only the nostrils were left to breathe. They tied him to a bread shovel and, saying secret words, sent him into the oven for some time. Of course, the oven was not hot, but warm. No one was going to serve the child to the table. They tried to burn away diseases with this ritual.
Scaring pregnant women
Childbirth in Rus' was treated with special trepidation. It was believed that at this moment the child passes from the world of the dead to the world of the living. The process itself is already difficult for a woman, and the midwives tried to make it completely unbearable.
A specially trained grandmother positioned herself between the legs of the woman in labor and persuaded the pelvic bones to move apart. If this did not help, then they began to scare the expectant mother, rattled pots, and could fire a gun near her. They also loved to induce vomiting in women in labor. It was believed that when she vomits, the child goes more willingly. To do this, they shoved her own braid into her mouth or stuck her fingers into her mouth.
Salting
This wild ritual was used not only in some regions of Rus', but also in France, Armenia and other countries. It was believed that a newborn baby needed to gain strength from salt.
This was apparently an alternative to overbaking. The child was coated with fine salt, including his ears and eyes. Probably to hear and see well after that. Then they wrapped them in rags and kept them there for a couple of hours, not paying attention to the inhuman screams. Those who were richer literally buried the child in salt. Cases are described when, after such a health procedure, all the skin peeled off the baby. But that’s okay, but then he’ll be healthy.
Dead Man's Rite
This terrible rite is nothing more than a wedding.
Those bride's outfits, which we now consider solemn, were called funeral in Rus'. A white robe, a veil, which was used to cover the face of a dead man so that he would not accidentally open his eyes and look at someone alive.
The entire ceremony of marriage was perceived as the new birth of a girl. And in order to be born, you must first die. A white doll was put on the young woman's head (a headdress like that of nuns).
They were usually buried in it. This is where the custom of mourning the bride comes from, which is still practiced in some villages in the outback. But now they are crying that the girl is leaving home, but before they were crying about her “death.” The ransom ritual also arose for a reason. By doing this, the groom tries to find the bride in the world of the dead and bring her into the world. Bridesmaids in this case were perceived as guardians of the afterlife.
Yes, I’m married and my husband is cool, sometimes we just goof around and fool around with him, and although I’m 26 years old, I still feel somehow interesting and somehow sexy, I like everything unusual, unusual flowers, unusual mood , unusual feelings and, in general, always the forbidden fruit itself.
Sometimes the husband's father can satisfy his daughter-in-law sexually much better than the husband
So once again, I entered my vicious circle, which has been going on for the second year. With my husband, that is, with his son, we live a very average life, as a lover he is very boring for sex, has a weak attraction, but has a huge and large appetite for beer, then he loves fish and gets great pleasure from it. But for some reason he loves watching porn and I thought he might even be gay, or a hidden gay, but no, he’s just kind of indifferent to everything.
His father is the complete opposite of his son, always neat and always lively, always sexy and always smelling good, I even regretted that my husband was his son, and not the father-in-law himself, because, in those days, and this was a few years ago, he I was still married, but my wife, my mother-in-law, died and now we were left alone, we live in a private house and we have everything at our fingertips, of course, including my husband’s father himself.
I like to show nudity, enjoying all the delights of the body and unwittingly seducing people. This is what happened with my father-in-law, when his wife passed away, probably a year or two passed, I lay naked and sunbathed among the green grass and enjoyed all the delights of a sunny day, birds chirped and cats and cats meowed somewhere in the distance, but I was pleased to just lie naked while no one turned me over.
My husband left for a month somewhere for work, and I’m a completely proud and shameless fool, only my father-in-law is awake and wandering somewhere. Although on such a sunny day, even during the day, everyone usually sleeps until the evening, and it’s in the evening that life itself begins, here it is where is the bliss, I look, and above me there is a completely naked body, it looks like a man’s, and I begin to understand that he is the one who is completely ripe, I show with my hand movements that he should lie down next to him and, taking him, I stretch him out for him to hug me and hugged him to himself, sensual father-in-law. Excitement began to come to me in earnest and I realized that now this action would all happen, and so it happened, the process turned into something powerful and even dizzying, I swam somewhere and it felt so good that I felt new strength, and I screamed in convulsions from a powerful orgasm that hit me like a powerful Hurricane, which I had been waiting for for so long, but not so powerful.
To be honest, I was just having a blast and enjoying everything that was on me and on me, this is how our far from plutonic relationship began, which began to look more and more like some interesting moment in life, I was very pleased to be with this man and admire him endlessly, so I decided that he would be my lover.
Sonhach! -That’s what I call him when I’m angry with him, but we’ve already learned how to get maximum pleasure from the fact that you need to have sex the way you know how and constantly improve something, so I start constantly committing sophisticated sexual torture and he likes it all , well, that I’m an energetic girl and with me my father-in-law became some kind of lively, truly uncle, before, even during the time of my mother-in-law, he was not at all like that, but now he is energetic, active, sexy, like a man, he evokes more and more sympathy every day , of course, the relationship with the father-in-law is all our secret. All desires often come true and that is why I had a lover, my daughter-in-law, who is both a relative and at the same time a stranger to me, but also an excellent sexual partner.
No, he was not my dream father-in-law in life, but we live in the same house and it so happened that he became my lover, yes, it’s nice when there is a “substitute” husband nearby, I am sexually very active and he helps me to open up as a woman, yes We are a triangle, it turns out that way, but what doesn’t happen in life? But a lot happens in life, he loves this most of all, we love to have sex on the table, on the sofa, in the kitchen, and we conduct experiments wherever possible and all because he gives himself completely to me and I to him, and my husband even doesn’t realize that we are fucking with him, and I hope that he will never find out about it, if there was a desire, and the husband could become an excellent lover, but he himself practically does not want this, and when my husband and I get intimate, then it ends almost immediately, I haven’t even thought about a child yet, but I’m already starting to think, is it worth it or not to give birth to such a “hubby”? Or maybe it’s even worth having a father-in-law? He is a good person, flexible and even responsible, I know that he will not give up in difficult times.
Many can condemn such behavior, it may be immoral, but what is moral now? And we give each other warmth and sexuality and a lot of all kinds of pleasure. Yes, I became much more liberated with my husband’s father and began to understand what a woman is and why you need to be a truly happy or sexually satisfied woman, I love orgasm and I fell in love precisely for such things, the incentive to reach the highest point of pleasure in love pleasures.
I know that I am not the only one, and that there are young girls who also sleep with their husbands’ fathers and live. But every woman has her own pre-story and each feels exactly the state that is given to her from such relationships. Many young daughters-in-law are simply seduced by drunken “daughters-in-law” - fathers-in-law or simply raped in a drunken stupor, and then she is simply afraid to tell her husband about it and that’s all, they live in some kind of fear and think, what’s all this for?
Many are held back by personal circumstances, and many simply do not have their own home, but what can be done? Yes, I read about the history of daughter-in-law in Russia. There used to be men who, in the absence of their sons, slept with their daughters-in-law, fucked them and sometimes even gave birth to children from them, because a young girl married a guy at 18-19-20 years old and her husband left to serve in the army for a long time, and that she was left alone with her father-in-law, he is 40-45 years old, still a strong man and next to her is young and beautiful, all on fire and wanting sex, although in those days, it was just the father-in-law who raped his daughter-in-law and this could continue indefinitely, and everything remained a secret, although many guessed which way the wind was blowing and the daughter-in-law gave birth to her father-in-law’s first child, having had sex with her husband, for example, when he came home on leave. and then thought that both his wife and small child were waiting for him , but everything was kept secret and even mothers-in-law could well know what and how, but they could not do anything about it, because they were either afraid of their husband.
P . S This also happens now after allegedly seducing a daughter-in-law... The old man decided to talk about what was weighing heavily on his conscience. He told about everything that happened and waited for his son’s reaction. The daughter-in-law is sitting next to her and is not even upset by what her father-in-law said. It seems she didn't sleep with him. And the old man continues that the daughter-in-law is not to blame for anything, that it was he who seduced her and he has to answer. And this stallion, his son, began to neigh. And what did daddy say that was so funny? It’s time to cry, but he laughs. Then he calmed down and asked his wife that she did this with the permission of her husband and with mutual consent?
And she lowered her eyes and answered in an innocent voice that since her father-in-law was not paying attention to her, she decided to torment him a little with the unknown and the feeling of guilt in front of her son, without telling the father that she went to bed with him because her husband allowed it. And they both continued that they thought and decided: since the daughter-in-law is young, her body demands it, and walking to the left is somehow not easy, they decided that sleeping with her father, if desired, would be the least of the evils. It’s good for her, it’s good for Dad, and the husband is calm about his wife. Fornication will not run anywhere to scratch.
And sometimes the three of them live like this, the husband, the father-in-law and the young daughter-in-law, having secret sex and the father-in-law is popularly nicknamed “The daughter-in-law”
