How to live your husband doesn’t love you. How to live with your husband if you understand that he does not love you

There is probably not a single person who has never doubted his feelings. Since adolescence, we try to distinguish true love from sympathy, habit, gratitude and affection. But thinking about this after several marriages can lead to terrible depression, especially for women. Many even seriously think about what to do if you don’t love your husband. Indeed, the question is not simple, let’s try to figure it out.

Was there love?

Imagine how much simpler everything would be if there were precise and specific characteristics of the word “love”. I just compared it with my feelings, and everything is clear. But that’s the essence of love, everyone has their own and over the course of a relationship it transforms.

Each couple's love story is as unique as their fingerprints. Therefore, it is difficult to give any recommendations without knowing how your relationship began and what happened to it. But there are a few things you should consider when making your decision.

Actually, when deciding whether to leave your husband or not, it is very important to remember whether there was love between you initially. It happens that a girl succumbs to the advances of a guy, and her relatives remind her that it’s high time to get married: “Well, he likes you! The guy is great! You will live well.” In this case, if you don’t “fall in love,” it’s better to be honest with yourself and your husband.

You tried, you hoped, but no miracle happened. By staying with your husband, you are setting off a time bomb. Over time, the person will begin to irritate you, and a feeling of loneliness and guilt for making the wrong decision will eat you up from within. Sooner or later you will realize that you can no longer live like this.

Even if there are children, a joint business, property, it is better to explain things to your spouse, thereby giving you both a chance to meet true love. With so many years ahead, they can be happy.

It's all gone

Much more often there are situations where people married out of great love, and then the feelings began to fade away. Then the answer to the question will play a huge role: is your husband to blame for the fact that you stopped loving him? If after the wedding he began to behave unworthily, drink, humiliate, cheat, it is quite understandable that the love is gone.

Or rather, the person you once fell in love with has left: smart, caring, attentive, loyal, athletic. And now this previously liked personality is simply unrecognizable.

Again, it all depends on the severity. If you have serious problems with alcohol and have already tried everything, or constant trips to the left or assault, then leave without looking back. Love and take care of yourself first, don’t let people treat you badly.

But what if everything seems to be fine, but your husband no longer carries you in his arms, doesn’t give you flowers, or gives you compliments? At the same time, there are constant quarrels over money, children, there is no sex (or it is such that it would be better not to exist), you live like neighbors. Then you have three options: a bird in the hands, a pie in the sky or a lover.

Third wheel

Why is a lover not an option? Even without taking into account the moral and sinful side of this issue, having a man on the side is useless.

With betrayal, a stream of fresh air bursts into a woman’s life. It seems that you feel the taste of life again. Young again, beautiful, happy. But what next? Are you going to use the poor guy as a painkiller? Yes, it makes you feel better, you get hooked on this euphoria, like a drug. But masking the pain does not eliminate its cause.

Or maybe you want to make sure your lover is reliable and then go to him? But what if you and your husband are one step away from true mature love, but with your lover you have to go all this long way from the beginning?

There is a theory according to which love goes through 7 stages. It is quite possible that what is happening now with your spouse is one of these stages, but it’s worth going through it, and you will be among those who lived happily ever after.

Seven stages of love

• Love. That which flares up like a fire obscures the brain. When it is not clear how to live without him. You enjoy these emotional fights and reconciliations. Dreams of a wedding, of children, of a happy future. If he is the first love, then it seems that she is the last. It can be easily confused with pure feelings, but in reality, you are driven by passion.
• Saturation. Real happiness. You are together, everything is fine with you. Spend a lot of time together, there is always something to talk about. There are practically no quarrels, passions have subsided. You simply enjoy each other’s company, and when you separate even for a day, you miss each other very much.
• Supersaturation. At this stage, each spouse has a desire to be alone. Everything seems to still be good, but there are fewer common themes. I want to spend more time with friends, engage in hobbies, and work. If by this moment there are already children, then the husband and wife devote all their love, care and attention to the baby, leaving nothing for each other.
• Disgust. Some people call this stage a crisis of living together. Rampant divorces are starting right now. Quarrels turn into a mutual exchange of barbs and insults, it becomes increasingly difficult to hear each other, and it is generally impossible to give in. You begin to feel like strangers to each other, you think that you don’t get along in character. Then the question arises, what to do if you no longer love your husband? But in fact, this is an exam, without passing which you will not reach true love.
• Patience and service. This is the stage you find yourself in if you find reasons not to leave. Are you afraid of being alone or experiencing financial difficulties? Whether you stayed for the sake of your children or your parents, it doesn’t matter. The important thing is that you made the decision to stay. You and your spouse tolerate and turn a blind eye to each other's shortcomings.
• Real love. Here she is, finally. You realize how much you have been through with this person, the relationship becomes respectful. You no longer want to try to change your spouse, love him as he is. You have accepted each other's cracks and learned to treat them carefully, now you care much more. Only now is the realization coming to you that love is not passion, not chemistry, not hormones. This is the SOLUTION. The decision of two adults to be with each other, to talk, to make both feel good. Then they begin to like each other again.
• Spiritual friendship. This is about those grandparents celebrating their golden and silver wedding. They lived together all their lives and sincerely believe that the best event in their lives was their meeting.

If what you read sounds a lot like what's going on in your family, it's worth waiting. The length of each stage is different for everyone. Some people overcome the most difficult ones in a few months, others take years.

Remember what you will gain when you reach the end. Having lived your life with one person, having fulfilled joint plans and dreams, you will pass on this experience to your children and grandchildren, this is the law of samsara.

To make it easier to get through the most difficult moments, do not hesitate to contact a family psychologist; do not throw away such a value as family. But do not forget about the exception to this rule: never tolerate violence or anything that threatens your life, health and well-being.

Before marriage

How do you understand that you love a guy if, for example, you have been living in a civil marriage for a long time and have no children? Your doubts are the answer to the question. Most often, this question is asked by girls to whom young people do not give any confidence in the future. They do not understand whether the relationship will lead to a full-fledged family or will it all be in vain.

In this case, do this: stop cohabitation. Not a relationship, just living together. Say what you need to think about. In general, if marriage is your goal, it is unlikely that we are talking about love here. You need the status of a wife, not a loved one nearby. After living separately, you will understand whether you love the person or lived with him because of hopes for the future.

When people live together long enough, after several years of living together, their feelings fade away. Almost all couples experience cooling of feelings, misunderstandings, quarrels and conflicts.

But only some, having survived a relationship crisis, become wiser and improve their relationships, while others decide to separate.

What to do? How to lower your head if you find yourself thinking that you no longer feel love for your spouse?

How to test your love for your husband?

Expert opinion

Anna Kolyada

Psychologist, poet and just a good person

The first thing you need to do is make sure whether you really don’t love your spouse anymore, or whether this is just another depression.

In order to check and make sure of your true attitude towards your spouse, you need to sincerely answer the following questions:

• If you and your husband were now in a joyful and calm environment that was completely different from the present one, would you still be together?
• If your spouse decides to leave for another woman, thereby freeing you, will you be happier?
• If he wants to take the initiative in an intimate way and asks you for something that you could only secretly dream of, will you agree? Will it give you pleasure now?
• Why don't you want to change something about yourself that your spouse doesn't like? What's stopping you from doing this?
• Will it bring you joy if your husband changes something about himself that irritates you?
• Can you lean on his shoulder as before?
• Do you often have quarrels? Who is the main initiator?
• Do you have mutual respect for each other?
• Do you feel like your husband is limiting your personal space?
• Do you watch movies together, share stories, spend leisure time together?
• By answering these questions honestly, you can understand whether you are actually comfortable with your husband now and whether you are ready to leave him.

What to do next?

Whatever the reason, you must first calm down and analyze everything.

1. Try to understand for yourself what you mean by the word love now? After all, for many women it is enough that a man understands and respects her, and they do him in return. This is love for them.
2. Talk to your spouse about what is bothering you. Maybe you are just very tired of everyday life, of its lack of attention to you. Perhaps you just need to unwind together, go on a short trip. And then your feelings may flare up again.
3. You may not even show that your spouse is indifferent to you if he is an excellent father. After all, for the sake of children, women are capable of much.
4. If you are already tired of him, then you can leave for a while. Chat with new people, take a break from everyday life. You might even miss him.

Should I tell my husband or not?

A woman is an emotional being; it is quite difficult for her to hide her feelings and emotions. She feels acutely if something has gone wrong. It will cost her enormous effort not to show that her feelings for her husband are fading.

It will be difficult for her! But if she is still calm, comfortable and well with him, even without crazy love, then she will endure everything. After all, he loves them madly. And replacing fatherly love is quite difficult.

Therefore, the wife will hope that soon her feelings will flare up again with renewed vigor. But in the meantime, she will cry to her friend, sit on thematic forums, but will never show her experiences to her husband and children. After all, she is so afraid of destroying the already fragile family happiness.

Sometimes you just can’t stand it anymore. The woman tried, overcame herself for the sake of her family, but realized that her soul was torn from pain. But even children can feel it. Therefore, in this case, you need to calmly tell your husband what is really happening. This must be done gently and delicately so as not to hurt your spouse.

Try to find out together the reason why this could happen, what contributed to it. Next, take appropriate measures to prevent this from happening again. Perhaps your spouse will be able to understand that it is not easy for you now, and will try to do everything to.

Is it worth ruining the relationship?

It is always easier to destroy than to build. Remember how much time, effort and energy you spent to create your family.

A strong family is built on respect, trust, love, friendship, common interests - all this takes years to develop. Are you ready to sacrifice all this if only one point in your relationship has failed. Are you ready to be alone? Do you have enough strength and means to support your child?

If you are unsure that you will be better off alone, then perhaps you should try to correct the situation and save the relationship.

Many problems can be solved by saving and improving the marriage. For example:

• You feel that you are moving away from your husband. After all, when you just started living together, you were united: passion, study, hobbies, friends. Then life forced him to devote himself completely to work, and you became very immersed in household chores, hobbies or your business. In this case, the gap between you is growing every day. The solution is obvious. Try to devote more time to each other. Choose a time that is suitable for both of you to spend together or with the children. Add variety to your time together. Travel together, try to do something new, make each other's little dreams come true. The main condition is to do everything together.
• Stop comparing your husband to someone else. For example, with your friend’s husband, because he is richer, more respectable, smarter. You can't know everything for sure. Or maybe he is much ruder than your husband, maybe he spends all his time at work, and his wife gets only a share of his remaining time and attention. Instead of praising someone else’s husband, shift the emphasis to the dignity of your own. Remember how and what you told your friends about him. And remember, there are no perfect relationships. Every place has its own problems and nuances. You just need to try to notice them and try to correct them.
• Learn to talk to your spouse, share your experiences, tell me what upsets you. If your spouse values ​​you and truly loves you, then he will definitely listen to you, and you can significantly improve your relationship. And if not, then think about whether it’s worth your effort?

If you understand that nothing helps, and the relationship can no longer be saved, then don’t torture yourself, not him! Tell him the truth and file for divorce.

Sometimes divorce is truly the best option. If your husband begins to drink often, gamble, and at the same time does not want to change, then the best solution is to leave him.

It is very difficult to decide on divorce. This is a very important step. But is it better to endure humiliation, negative emotions, and fear? Quite often, spouses stay in a relationship for the sake of their children. Yes, divorce is not easy for kids either. But children feel if their parents are not happy together. This state is completely transmitted to them. Therefore, it is better for a child to be with one happy parent than to live with two unhappy ones.

Sometimes a woman simply hides behind her children. She is afraid of female loneliness, and of not being able to cope with difficulties. And so he decides to leave the marriage as it is. But as a result, he gets a ruined life, constant depression and guilt. And this also affects children.

Therefore, it is necessary to gather your thoughts, gain strength and patience, and make an adult and wise decision.

How to love again?

How to bring love back into a relationship? And is this possible? Many women ask these questions. Yes, perhaps, psychologists answer. There is nothing impossible in the world, the main thing is your sincere desire and the right steps towards happiness.

• First of all, psychologists advise to calm down and begin to analyze the situation. You must understand why you want to leave your husband, why love has disappeared. It may turn out that the reason is quite banal - the husband does not take care of his things, he has become dirty or lazy. In this case, a frank conversation can help. During this conversation, explain to your husband that you really need his help with the housework, that you are tired of cleaning up after him, that it is difficult for you to cope with the children alone.
• If your husband loves and appreciates you, then he will try to correctly evaluate your conversation, draw the necessary conclusions, and will help you in the future. This means you can save your marriage and bring love back into your relationship. You just need to sincerely forgive your husband for all his mistakes, and in the future always try to talk about what worries you in a timely manner.
• Perhaps from your husband. He spends the whole day at work, but look at the situation from the other side: your husband works so hard so that you and the children have everything you need. In this case, you should become his support and a ray of light, and not throw tantrums again. It is then that your husband will be drawn to you like a magnet, he will need you, because you give him light, warmth and harmony
• Admire your husband more often, praise him, emphasize all his virtues. Learn to support his conversations, find and share common interests with him.
• If you are tired of the monotony in your relationship, boredom and everyday life, then arrange an interesting date for your husband, invite him to go on a romantic trip, just the two of you. Left alone, enjoy each other, have a heart-to-heart talk, and promise each other to arrange small dates as often as possible. This will help you bring romance and feelings back into your relationship.
• But don't forget about yourself either. You, too, must become an interesting person who is self-confident and inspires your husband to take action. New interests, hobbies, training, gym classes will help you recharge your batteries and compensate for the loss of old feelings. Having filled yourself with positivity and self-love, you will feel the same feelings for your husband. After all, like attracts like.

Reasons for the fading of feelings

One of the most important actions is to understand the reasons for what happened. It is imperative to find out the reasons why your feelings for your partner began to fade.

• Perhaps, under someone’s pressure, or by personal desire, you decided to marry for convenience. The man fully suited you in all qualities, and that was enough for you. But a couple of years have passed, you have grown emotionally and spiritually, and you realized that you cannot build happiness on positive qualities alone. I still want to experience love.
• Or maybe you’re just confused: at one time you mistook falling in love and passion for true love. And after a while they began to realize that love never happened.
• But it also happens that even from sincere love people get tired. Love simply develops into a habit. But dissatisfaction with the husband’s character, his behavior, and new qualities begin to irritate more and more. And the woman is disappointed.
• If you just liked another man, or you are seriously interested in someone, then this will naturally affect your feelings for your partner.
• It happens that he often begins to show rudeness towards a woman, and this frightens and repels her.
• Your common interests may simply disappear. And then you begin to look at life differently.
• Or maybe you have accumulated a lot of mutual claims and grievances. But they didn’t express them. And so this led to the fading of feelings.
• Well, if you yourself feel cold from your spouse, or even, then this can completely kill your feelings.

There can be many reasons, you need to take time and carefully understand them. And when you understand the true reason, and maybe more than one, then it will become much easier for you to understand in which direction to move. And what to do in the future.

I can't leave my husband

A woman may realize that she has long lost love for her husband, but still cannot leave him. Why does this happen:

• A woman does not want to change her established life.
• He is afraid that he will lose part of his property.
• She is very dependent on her husband financially.
• He doubts that he will be able to raise his children on their own feet.
• There is pity for the husband.
• Afraid of loneliness.

These reasons force a woman to live with her husband even without love. But it is they who make her unhappy. She often cries, tries to avoid scandals, and do everything so that the child does not see her condition. But how long will she last like this? Maybe you should still make up your mind and leave your unloved husband, give yourself a chance to build a new happy relationship full of love and mutual understanding.

It also happens the other way around: a woman realizes that she no longer loves her husband, but he treats her wonderfully, then she begins to put a different meaning into the meaning of the word love. In addition to passion and butterflies in the stomach, love now means much more to her - it is understanding, respect, gratitude and acceptance. This wisdom comes with time. According to statistics, relationships based on these qualities last much longer and develop more harmoniously than those based on physical attraction to each other.

Author, I personally understand you. And you know what I will write to you. Anyone who does not feel this will never understand you!!! A well-fed person is no friend to a hungry person, alas. You know, I'm in a similar situation. And you know, I personally changed a lot of things in order to revive the relationship and much more, and I went to a psychologist, in short, I know that I did what was possible and what was not...

I’ll write to you from experience, relationships are built by both. Those who write about their contribution to the relationship with their husband feel some kind of return from their husband inside. But it happens, in my case, when there really is no return. Yes, the husband brings money, and plays with the children - but at the same time he may have a deep dislike for you personally, as a woman and as a person.

You know, I also talked about this topic with others before. I also heard a million judgments, yes, you will ruin your family, but be wise, but do so that your husband will feel good with you, and so on and so forth, etc. and so on.

But, damn it, why should I make him feel good with me, but he shouldn’t? Unfortunately, when you realize too late how deplorable the situation is, of course you have to do it... because there is an opinion, since you suffered and lived so much, gave birth to children, why are you getting kicked out now?? But, after all, people change, and what, let’s say, was easily tolerated before, also not the husband’s attention, can be tolerated differently over the years...

And now I understand that you can be wise when there is still something in the relationship that suits you too!! But it happens when there is nothing left and being wise even a hundred times will not help much.

Author, trust your feelings. I am sure that those same tulips are just the tip of the iceberg in the sense that you tried to give an example in words that for you there is no love for you. In fact, it's not always easy to even put it into words like this.

It’s just felt inside and that’s all. And don’t prove anything to anyone, believe me, few will understand this if they haven’t experienced it themselves. From my own experience, I realized that my feeling that my husband was indifferent to me was just sensations, and then everything gradually became more concrete at specific moments in life.

Yes, as they write here, the husband may not give flowers and be a dry speller, but at the same time the woman intuitively feels that he still loves her.

But it also happens that you understand that there is no love. You just understand - that's the point. Then you simply begin to attach various evidence to this feeling, as I wrote above.

But now I understand, there is no need for proof. You have to believe in yourself. I didn't believe it before. I could have left my husband and children much earlier, but I didn’t believe my feelings, I also thought “I’m fighting with fat, I seem to be an adequate man,” and now I’m also in trouble... because of the children.

First of all, decide for yourself, can you live without love? You know, when I was younger, I somehow managed without my husband’s love, replaced it with something, and over the years I began to understand that, in fact, yes, I want love from my husband, a man. Why shouldn’t she want, shouldn’t receive, why should she deserve it with the same wisdom??

You know, there are so many unwise women who also make scandals, but they are strangely loved. Yes, because they love different people, not because, but as they say, DESPITE everything.

If I were you, I wouldn’t look to Eve for an answer, because... you won't find it here. Listen only to yourself. My experience has shown that even my friends and even my closest ones don’t understand, “you’re freaking out…” for them it’s a similar feeling. Here you need to dig deeper, read other literature, even go to a psychologist, if possible. I went, but even that didn’t help me, at that moment I just turned a blind eye to my husband’s lack of love and believed, believed that I would definitely fix everything, I’d fix it myself, in short, everything was on my shoulders. But this is not so, author!!

If your husband sits straight on his butt and doesn’t change anything, you will hit the wall, but nothing will change. Yes, of course, it’s possible that something will change for a certain period, a couple of months, but believe me, because everything will go away again. It is impossible to support love for just one person!!!

As for the husband, most likely he gets what he needs somewhere and doesn’t need to worry about it at home. Mine personally does this. At work, on the side, he gets what he needs and then he gets what I need.

And also, in principle, probably, if I don’t initiate a divorce or until someone takes advantage of their girlfriends-mistresses, they will continue to live with me under the same roof.

But I know for sure that there is no love for me, and there is no love for the children either, although he seems to do everything for the house. But again, it does, because... otherwise, of course, we need to get a divorce, but he’s lazy, as long as he’s comfortable, it doesn’t bother him - he’ll live like that... And what should bother him? I went to work in the morning, came back late, don’t touch him in the evening, don’t call him at work - you’re in the way, don’t strain your relationship on the weekend - I’m relaxing. Why should he get a divorce??

My experience says that if he feels like it, of course he will get a divorce, but he just doesn’t need it yet. It’s also possible that your husband isn’t burning yet, why would he get a divorce?? Why would he create unpleasant situations for himself??

Just understand for yourself personally, can you live in such a relationship without love all your life? 5 years, 10 years, the rest of your life? Is it good to live in a relationship when essentially there is nothing between people, emptiness, a wall??

I repeat that I personally honestly tried to resuscitate everything, to fall in love with my husband again and to make him fall in love with me, it took years, but now I understand that it was all me who did it, my husband never needed it!! It’s convenient for him to live with me, I repeat, because he gets what he needs on the side.

Well, the fact that I’m nearby somewhere under the same roof doesn’t bother him, because in relation to me he’s just an empty place, or rather I’m to him.

And even when he gave me flowers just this year, I realized that the understanding that you are loved sits somewhere inside you and depends on many everyday little things, not just on flowers once a year...

Someone doesn’t give flowers and the woman feels that she is loved, and sometimes, as in my case, he gave flowers, but I understand that it’s just nothing, or rather, he gave it rather because he did something on the side, whom - found it, felt guilty, because... Before that, I also never gave flowers or gifts and considered it too tinsel...

And, most importantly, I also nodded my head obediently and considered my desire to receive a flower or a gift - that I was crazy!! This is how a woman suppresses in herself everything that seems to be the norm...

So, author, your life is only your life!! It's up to you to live, it's up to you to decide. I, too, used to think that a woman is wise - if she drags her family to the last, she revives everything in it and creates and creates. But I realized that there are cases when there is nothing to create, there is simply nothing, at least a hundred times be wise with the wise.

Living with a person who doesn’t love you and you clearly feel it inside - I now don’t consider such coexistence to be wisdom. This is a banal fear of being left alone, fear of financial difficulties, fear of what people will say, how the children will be without a father, a little jealousy that my husband will find someone for himself, but I’m unlikely to find anyone with children, yes, and banal pride speaks inside, it turns out that I am a divorcee = not a successful woman, not wise???

You just need to decide for yourself which is better? Is it really possible to live alone or to see every day that you are an empty place for your husband? There are those who choose the second and live like this for years and nothing, in a word, you need to decide for yourself what you can live with all your life and what you can’t...

And then, if there really is no love on the part of the husband for his wife, where is the guarantee that someday he will not personally mature to the point of divorce, while you seem to have resigned yourself to living with him without love on his part???

"I do not love you anymore!" These words often come as a shock to a woman. How to react? How to live further? Will the fading of feelings lead to separation or can we try to revive the marriage? The wife faces a difficult decision: let her husband go and agree to a divorce or try to breathe new life into the relationship.

My husband has fallen out of love: is that so?

A sudden coldness in his gaze, a lack of confidential conversations - all this can lead to the idea that the husband no longer loves. This situation becomes a real nightmare for those women who devoted themselves entirely to their family. It is difficult for them to imagine themselves without their loved one. How to determine whether your spouse has actually fallen out of love?

Reasons for cooling that are not related to feelings

If you ask women by what signs they will understand that their partner has stopped loving them, they will probably say that he:

Experts say that decreased libido, inattention, and withdrawal are associated with stress or overwork. Perhaps the husband has problems at work that he does not want to involve his wife in, but cannot distract himself from them. Prolonged depression, rare intimate contacts, irritability may be signs of depression or other diseases.

Signs of lost love

Are there obvious signs that indicate a cold husband? Yes, these include the following:

• wife insults;
• finding fault with appearance and behavior with the intent to offend;
• ridicule, especially in the presence of other people;
• threats, shouting and blackmail;
• physical violence.

A person who uses psychological violence and raises his hand is unlikely to love his partner. He can find an excuse for his actions and swear his love, but such a marriage has no future. You should think carefully before continuing such a relationship.

What to do?

There are often situations when a wife knows for sure that her husband no longer loves (we recommend reading:). Perhaps he himself said so and proposed to dissolve the marriage. Psychologists say that the suffering from the betrayal of a loved one is comparable to the pain from the loss of a loved one. What to do if your husband has fallen out of love (see also:)? Experts give advice on how to behave in such a situation.

Let go and move on

Letting go of a loved one is not easy. It’s not worth keeping a man next to you who directly says that your feelings have faded away. Sooner or later he will leave. How to survive a breakup?

It is worth breaking off contact with your husband. Even casual communication will give rise to mental pain. Try to change the situation. A vacation with friends will help you get over a breakup. Don't limit your contacts with other men. At first, meeting new people will be difficult, but over time, communication can develop into a relationship.

Hold. At any cost?

Some women decide to fight for their love. When choosing such tactics of behavior, you should determine why you want to maintain this relationship. If a woman feels that life is impossible without a partner, another man will never look at her, and her age or appearance will not allow her to build a personal life, it is better to consult a psychotherapist. This behavior does not look like love, but like emotional codependency.

How to behave as a wife

If your husband says that he has fallen out of love, you need to bring him into a confidential conversation. The first reaction may be shock, anger, tears, but you should try to restrain yourself and sit down at the negotiating table. Perhaps the man will be able to name a specific reason that led to the fading of feelings - this will help decide what to do next. If the reason for the cooling was feelings for another woman, you should not try to compete with your mistress, because the one who betrayed you once will definitely set you up again.

Many women begin to surround their husband with excessive attention, try to change his appearance, and attract him with delicious pies. This behavior causes a backlash and pushes you away even more. Don't forget that you are a full-fledged person. Engage in self-development, education, meet with friends more often. Make it clear that after the divorce you will have a rich and interesting life. Perhaps the man will look at you in a new way.

What to change in the family structure

Having learned the reason for the cooling, a woman should think about her behavior:

Will the children be saved?

Some women, seeing the cooling, try to get pregnant and give birth to a child in the hope that it will strengthen the family. Why you shouldn't do this:

• if a man has decided to leave the family, he will do it, and the children will not hold him back;
• the child must be planned and desired;
• According to statistics, many marriages break up in the first months after the birth of the baby, so pregnancy can only speed up the separation;
• the woman will project onto the child a feeling of resentment towards her ex-husband.

Even if the man remains out of a sense of duty, such a family cannot be called happy. Love will not flare up with renewed vigor, and the growing baby will feel the tense relationship between the parents.

If there are already children, wives often begin to appeal to feelings of guilt or threaten a ban on seeing the child. Such behavior will not add respect or love to the woman, and the child becomes just a subject of manipulation between the parents.

Never do this! Mistakes of wives

It is difficult to pull yourself together and think through a plan of action when you find out that your husband no longer loves you. Many women make mistakes that make the situation even worse. What you should never do:

1. Having an affair with another man. Wanting to cause jealousy, a wife may cheat with another man. However, this will only speed up the breakup - the husband will now have a good reason to separate.
2. Trying to make you feel sorry. You shouldn’t invent illnesses for yourself, quit your job, or talk about your own insignificance. This behavior will cause irritation and aggression.
3. Blackmail with children. Many husbands love their children, but by trying to play on parental feelings, a woman will not achieve her goal. On the contrary, a man may try to convince the court that the child should live with him and not with the mother.

Getting over a breakup is not easy, and maintaining a good relationship with your ex-husband is even more difficult. Whatever decision a woman makes for herself, to let her husband go or to fight for her love, visiting a specialist will not hurt. It is worth inviting your husband to go to a family psychologist together. Perhaps it’s working on yourself in a psychotherapist’s office that will help you regain your former love.

When one of the spouses loses their feelings, this is extremely stressful. Any changes in a relationship for the worse are especially painful for a woman, since she vitally needs to be loved and desired. It is very difficult to admit the fact that a man has fallen out of love, so many wives continue to deceive themselves and play at being an ideal family. This position is very dangerous, as it implies inaction. It is much wiser to admit the problem and try to understand what to do if the husband does not love his wife. What signs may indicate this?

Direct “evidence” or hidden hints?

As a rule, a wife does not need to have direct evidence that she is no longer loved. This manifests itself even in small things; you just need to stop “hiding your head in the sand” and analyze your husband’s behavior. Psychologists advise paying attention to a whole range of factors that explain how a husband behaves if he does not love his wife.

The main signs of dislike

Is it necessary to save the family?

If a husband doesn't love his wife, what should she do? This is the first question that a woman must answer for herself. To make it easier to make a decision, you need to evaluate all the pros and cons of your man and understand whether you need to fight for him. Divorce is never easy, but living with a husband who has no feelings left is also difficult. Not every woman is ready to live in the hope that her husband will love her again.

Ways out of the situation

Psychologists assure that, finding herself in this situation, a woman can choose one of two options:

• Break up if you are not sure that your feelings will return, and do not torture yourself or your husband.
• Try to bring back lost love.

Can a husband fall in love again?

Life is unpredictable, so this outcome is quite likely. But for this a woman must make some effort. First of all, you need to remember how the relationship began and what initially attracted the man. Having analyzed the relationship, the wife must also realize her mistakes, because there probably were some. It is useless to shift the blame only to the husband; this position is doomed to failure.

There are always signs that a husband does not love his wife. What signs may indicate this - you need to figure it out. A woman knows her husband better than anyone, so it will not be difficult for her to identify the factors that provoke irritation. You should start working on your relationship by eliminating the reasons that cause your husband’s dissatisfaction.

Sometimes in such cases, a joint trip or a weekend spent together will be indispensable. The opportunity to retire and talk calmly is an important step towards mutual understanding.

A difficult situation always arises if the husband does not love his wife. What to do is up to the woman to decide. When she wants to return her husband's love, she should not impose herself and become his shadow - this will push him away and cause a new wave of irritation. You cannot show your loneliness and melancholy. A confident and happy woman is much more attractive. For a husband to look at his wife with different eyes, she must believe in her attractiveness and exclusivity. It is unlikely that a husband will want to idolize a woman who does not believe in herself.

Honor and Praise

Any man loves to be admired. This is an integral feature of their nature, and many wise women take advantage of it. When a wife praises her husband and emphasizes his strengths, he feels confident next to her, and will constantly return for a new portion of admiration.

Probably every woman thinks from time to time: if the husband does not love his wife, what signs should be present. Joint conversations on topics that are interesting to both will help to renew old feelings. A woman can surprise her husband with her knowledge in various fields and show that she is smart and educated.

If you decide to leave...

Family life is not an easy matter, so it often ends in divorce. When people have different values ​​and perceptions of the world, it is not easy for them to find a common language and maintain love. At the beginning of a relationship, very little attention is paid to this fact; it seems that all difficulties are surmountable. But when feelings cool down, optimism quickly disappears, and a situation often arises when the husband does not love his wife. Any wife knows what signs will help determine this.

If a woman realizes that she is not ready to live with a man who does not love her, she decides to leave him. In such cases, resentment and misunderstanding do not allow you to objectively assess the situation, but it is worth making an effort and parting correctly. There is no need to blame your husband for lack of love; it is better to try to accept reality and let him go. Perhaps then the relationship will move to a new level, and everyone will be able to live their own lives.

What do the experts say?

If a husband does not love his wife, the psychologist’s advice boils down to one thing - to analyze the relationship and future prospects. It is important to understand that all couples feel cooling at some point in time. As the cold drags on, the woman begins to realize that perhaps her husband has stopped loving her. It seems that he lives his own life in which she has no place.

Each family may have its own reasons why it seems that the husband does not love his wife. The signs need to be considered only as a whole. Psychologists believe that most often feelings cool down due to the fact that there was not enough emotional intimacy between spouses. Misunderstanding leads to the fact that the couple cannot find a compromise and come to an agreement. Problems grow, irritation accumulates, and quarrels do not die down.

What to do?

When a woman realizes that her husband has lost interest in her, she thinks about how to return his feelings. But first of all, it’s worth figuring out: is it necessary to do this? Often, attempts to get a man to talk end in failure, since he is unlikely to discuss his feelings.

To avoid another scandal, a woman must express her thoughts calmly and judiciously, without stooping to insults. How does a husband behave if he doesn’t love his wife? By his behavior, intonation and words, you can understand whether there is a chance to restore the family or whether you need to come to terms with reality.

When a relationship feels like a one-way game, the wife needs to think about herself and remember that she also has the right to be happy. There is no need to continue meaningless conversations and try with all your might to keep your husband. Such actions will not lead to the creation of a strong family, but will bring new disappointments and collapse of hope.

A woman must realize that if she clings to your back, she will never feel needed and desired. Sometimes loneliness is much more pleasant than constant torment and suffering, so you shouldn’t be afraid of it. In addition, it is time to find peace of mind and harmony, which will be useful for building new relationships. It is important to realize that your own happiness does not depend on the actions of other people, it is achieved as a result of painstaking internal work on yourself.

For help - go to church

If the husband does not love his wife, the questions the woman asks the priest will help her learn to believe in the best. You need to appreciate life, notice elementary joys and know that God sends only those tests that a person can withstand.