Rules and advice for a manager on how to communicate with a subordinate. Business communication between manager and subordinates

Work is a second home. If the specialist does not fix a good relationship in his home office or workshop, he will have to live in tension all weekdays. Unfortunately, many people realize this simple truth only after the first serious conflicts with colleagues.

Try to avoid such a mistake. Start creating a positive work environment today.

Four secrets for successful communication with colleagues

Rule one: act consciously, not according to your mood. Make a list for yourself universal principles that should guide business communication. if you find it difficult to remove them yourself, here is the minimum auxiliary questionnaire.

• In what cases do you think it is necessary to help a colleague?
• When should you refuse a colleague's request?
• How can you refuse a person without offending him?
• What topics are unethical to bring up in conversations at your work?
• What should you not joke about with your colleagues?
• When is frivolous behavior acceptable and when is it not?

Your detailed answers, in fact, will be the supporting principles. Write them down and re-read them sometimes.

Also, don’t be lazy to work on your mistakes: remember all the uncomfortable situations you found yourself in at work before, think about how you could prevent them or “settle them” if you knew how to go back to the past.

Rule two: remember that you do not have the right to re-educate anyone. Try to accept your colleagues as they are.

No matter how imperfect this or that partner may be, he is already an established personality with certain views and habits. Any attempt to re-educate an adult will lead to at least a hidden resentment, and at most to a full-fledged quarrel.

Rule three: no familiarity.

The temptation to switch to a friendly style of communication with colleagues is always great, but giving in to it is dangerous. By accepting your role on the board, you by default take on a host of new responsibilities. You will have to do too much “not for service, but for friendship” - do someone else’s work for nothing, run after pies, forgive things that the labor inspectorate would hardly forgive...

Be especially careful when making friends with leaders. Do not give them the opportunity to use you under the pretext of mutual assistance.

Rule four: Don’t wash your own dirty linen in public and don’t dig into someone else’s quarrel.

Alas, by being frank or accepting the revelations of others, you unwittingly multiply gossip, and the less gossip there is in a team, the more friendly it is.

From time to time, managers have to have not very pleasant conversations with subordinates and criticize their work. HR specialists sometimes have to perform this same function. How to conduct such a conversation with minimal emotional cost, not spoil the relationship with the employee, and achieve the desired effect?

The most unpleasant conversation is one during which you have to directly express a negative opinion about a team member. Whether criticism concerns an employee’s performance, discipline, or professional skills, people tend to feel uncomfortable in such situations.

There are many reasons why managers do not take proper action against erring employees. Some of them are afraid of direct confrontation, some have a distorted idea of ​​politeness, and some secretly hope that the situation will resolve itself. Others feel that something is wrong, but do not trust their intuition. Finally, some managers doubt their own ability to successfully complete an unpleasant conversation, they are afraid of accusations against them or, worse, such a frightening quarrel with an employee.

Such managers can make reasonable excuses for their inaction and at the same time feel deep down resentment and anger. A bad example is contagious, and the result of connivance is corporate culture, in which poor performance and inappropriate behavior are tolerated. After all, if one member of the team does not show zeal for work, should we expect it from the rest?

Unfortunately, some managers cannot clearly define the boundaries of what is permitted and avoid unpleasant conversations with subordinates. But problems rarely solve themselves, and the consequence of silence is irritation, dissatisfaction and resentment, growing like a snowball.

During this time, ineffective or undisciplined workers and employees with poorly developed professional skills remain blissfully unaware of the anxiety they cause. Or they have been allowed to behave this way for so long that they have come to consider this behavior normal.

However, not everything is so bad: a systematic approach and positive attitude will help navigate a difficult conversation and reach a common agreement, establish more trusting relationships and clearly outline the conditions under which a manager should intervene. Here's how to do it:

1. Do not take any action under the influence of negative emotions

The ability not to get personal and to look at the situation from the outside is extremely important for the successful conclusion of the conversation. If you try to solve a problem while being dissatisfied or angry, you will likely end up speaking in an accusatory tone or doing something else that turns the employee off. It's okay to express concerns, but you need to control your emotions and not blame other people for them. If things are boiling inside, wait until the fire subsides and go through the points below before planning how and when you will interview the employee.

“Any person can become angry: it’s simple. But to express your anger in the face of the one who should, and exactly to the extent that it should, in right time and with the right goal, having found for this the right way- not everyone is capable of this and it is not at all easy». (Aristotle)

2. Gather the facts

At the first stage, you need to write down all your complaints against the employee, identifying specific violations and, more importantly, quantifying their impact on the business and the team. Often we are too busy to piece together the incidents and events we know, and the overall picture becomes distorted or escapes us altogether. Records will help clarify the situation and assess possible consequences.

3. Be clear about the standards employees are expected to follow and the purpose of those standards.

When speaking, refer to corporate standards. If there are none, this is a signal that it’s time to create them. You subconsciously sense when an employee's performance is not up to standard. Good way check your instincts - determine which standard, norm or rule the employee’s action does not comply with. If nothing comes to mind - This means that you have not established the required level of quality, and this is where you now need to start.

4. Determine what you want to achieve through the conversation.

You are talking to an employee because you want changes in his behavior, or in the volume or quality of the work he performs. You need to clearly define what changes you want to achieve, in what time frame, and what will happen if they don’t happen.

5. State the facts and keep your fears to yourself.

Don't attack other people with accusations - keep your concerns to yourself. Stick to the facts and don't get too personal when giving feedback. For example, the phrase " That's what I see, and I'm concerned about how this behavior affects the team." or " I see that only ten client accounts have been processed this week." allows you to identify the problem much better than the phrase “ This behavior has a bad effect on the team’s work.” or " You’re not productive enough, we need more output.”

6. Listen carefully and be impartial

Keeping the goals of the conversation in mind, you must also maintain impartial judgment and listen carefully to what the employee says. Most people try to do their job well, and the fact that their work does not meet the expected level of quality and standards may be due to the most for various reasons. You must be flexible and willing to change your position depending on what the employee says.

7. Try to agree on standards; where it is impossible to reach an agreement, insist on your own

Many managers are afraid that an employee will ignore their comments, regarding them as nagging. For example, an employee regularly, twice a week, comes to work 20 minutes late and, in response to a reprimand, states: “Twenty minutes is not a crime.” This is where pre-collected information about the impact of a specific action on the workflow comes in handy.

8. Encourage suggestions from employees, develop a clear plan for further action

Your decision may not be the best: there is a possibility that the employee will offer a solution that you have not thought of and which turns out to be more suitable for him. If an employee proposes a solution that is obviously losing, in your opinion, but it is useless to argue with him, give him the opportunity to try it himself (of course, having previously assessed the risk). Simply repeat the requirements and let the employee take full responsibility for fulfilling them.

9. Choose the right time and environment to talk

This seems obvious, but timing is very important. Don't reprimand the day before religious holiday or before an employee goes on vacation. It is necessary to think about what actions he will have to take to correct the situation, and how long it may take. Of course, much depends on how much damage the employee’s actions cause to the company.

And in conclusion, the results of a survey on this topic:

« When we asked managers to rate their confidence when dealing with an unpleasant conversation with a co-worker, more than two-thirds (68%) rated themselves as very or fairly confident. However, when we asked HR managers the same question, only a fifth (21%) said that managers in their organizations felt completely or fairly confident in issuing reprimands, and almost half of those surveyed (47%) said managers were completely or noticeably unsure . Moreover, half (48%) of HR managers said that such conversations are often or regularly assigned to them, when managers could handle them themselves. Overall, our study found that painful conversations are often delayed, which has a harmful influence on the morale of the team."

More detailed information You can view the research here:

« How to have an unpleasant conversation with an employee - research results and recommendations" (

The ability to communicate with subordinates and give feedback is traditionally considered a core skill. professional manager. Any manager should be able to talk to an employee at the right time. And it seems that what’s easier is to call and talk. Specific and to the point. Praised. Criticized. Set tasks. No problem!

However, in practice everything is far from so rosy. Surveys that I conducted in several dozen companies showed that feedback is most often perceived by employees as a problem area in their relationship with their manager.

“He called me and said that I had received a bonus. And he handed over a letter saying that the award was for excellent completion of the project. The money was very helpful, but I wanted to hear words of gratitude from my boss.”

“Every morning starts with screaming. The door swings open, and the boss from his office begins to scold everyone one by one. We used to worry, but now we’ve gotten used to it. This does not affect the work in any way. He will relieve his soul, and we will continue to work.”

“She’s not at all interested in how I’m doing work in progress. Gives tasks, mainly e-mail. I am doing. It feels like I’m working in another city, although her office is ten meters from my desk.”

The value of feedback

The need for feedback is natural for any person, be it a top manager or an ordinary employee. Am I doing what the company needs? Right or wrong? Will my efforts be recognized? The lack of feedback, as well as gross violation of the rules for providing it, deprives a person of guidelines in the organization and reduces his desire to work. For a manager, feedback is a tool that allows you to:

• Express recognition to the employee and maintain his high motivation.
• Understand the reasons for an employee’s undesirable behavior.
• Correct employee behavior that deviates from standards.
• Target an employee for development in a specific direction.

Seven rules for quality feedback

Are you planning to talk to an employee? Do you want it to work? Then start with your goals! Understand what result you want to get from a conversation with an employee. Then it will be much easier to structure the conversation correctly. Regardless of the purpose of the conversation, it is useful to follow following rules:
Talk about a specific event. “You showed up at work at 10:45 today. This is the second time in a week, let’s discuss.” There is an event, and there is a topic for discussion. What if it’s like this: “You always sleep until eleven and are always late”? Generalization is a favorite technique of manipulators and an eternal theme of conflicts. Not suitable for quality feedback.

Give feedback soon after the event you discuss with the employee. The road is a spoon for dinner. “You worked with this VIP client today. Let's see what we did this time." Compare: “Do you remember about two months ago you served one VIP client? Let’s figure out what mistake you made there.” What do they say? Who will remember the old...

Use proven, concrete facts.“I noticed that you did not use the new questionnaire when working with this client.” What does the employee hear? The manager carefully observed the work, noticed and remembered - this is important for him! And if so: “They say you’ve stopped using questionnaires altogether?” There will be no constructive conversation. There will be a game of attack and defense. And this is not what a leader needs.

Involve the employee in the discussion - let him speak.“What do you think a customer who wanted to place an urgent order but couldn’t get through to us at 9:30 would do? What can be done to prevent such situations from happening again?” Let him say it. Firstly, this is a good way to stimulate the employee’s independent thinking on the topic under discussion and his responsibility for the decisions that you agree on during the discussion. Secondly, by not giving the employee a chance to speak, you can deprive yourself of important information and even find yourself in an awkward position. I witnessed a situation where a boss reprimanded an employee for violating the deadlines for submitting a regular report - it turned out that he had missed that two days earlier a new procedure had been sent out throughout the organization, which changed not only the deadlines, but also the reporting format: the data was now entered into centralized system. The employee began to act in accordance new instructions. So there was no need to scold, but rather to praise.

Discuss events and activities. Not a person. Labeling a person is a matter of minutes. “You are selfish! You only think about yourself!" Say this to an employee a couple of times - and you can no longer expect help, mutual assistance and desire from him. teamwork. After all, he is an egoist, and you elevated him to this rank with the power given to you. Someone will be offended and withdraw into themselves. Someone will turn into your opponent. And someone will begin to turn other team members against you. Personality is a delicate matter, don’t joke with it! Find other words. “I appreciate your desire to take advantage of every opportunity to work with a client. At the same time, there must be reasonable boundaries. Think about the image your actions can create for our company among clients.”

Talk about what you can change. This applies to situations where you target an employee to correct behavior and develop skills. It won’t work: “Yes, I see that we have a problem, with such a quiet voice it’s difficult to win over customers.” What were we thinking when we hired this employee? Uh, brother... Now I have to help her! “If you sit on this side, the customers will hear you better, let's try it. By the way, maybe we should think about a microphone?”

You can praise publicly, but it’s better to criticize privately.

There are several reasons. Public criticism is very demotivating. Once. We have a strong tradition of supporting the offended. So don’t be surprised if, after a public reprimand, your team of allies decreases. Two. If you are wrong (this may be the case, see point 4 above), you will be wrong for everyone. Do you need it? Three. Praising is another matter. And this is a whole art! “Of course, it’s good that you reassured the client so quickly, but why didn’t you tell us about the new product?” Is this praise or criticism? Not very clear. “You managed to calm the client down so quickly - share your secret, how do you do it?” But this is much better! They praised me, gave me a compliment, raised my self-esteem and motivation. That's what was required.

Or something in between: sometimes the conversation just doesn’t go well. Thinking through the conversation in advance is not the best option, but it’s also not a good idea to enter into a conversation without having a rough list of common topics at hand. If you have ever tried to move away from impromptu and went through topics for conversation in your mind (and in the end everything, as usual, came down to discussing the weather), then our recommendations will be useful to you.

Here are tips for those times when you need to start a conversation at work.

With the founder of the company or its head

You:"Hello! How is your week going?

Management:"Not bad. Many affairs! How are you?

You:"Great. I’m really excited to be working on [the most important part of the project for you].”

IN large companies a lot of people work, so there is nothing wrong with inserting information about yourself during a conversation with the head or owner of the company. If you are not sure that your boss knows your name, it’s time to extend your hand to him and say, “It seems like we don’t know each other. My name is [your name].”

With a newbie

You:"Hello. You came [this week, last Friday], right? I'm [your name] from Team [X]. Well, how have you settled into your new place? Have you been to [a popular cafe nearby] yet?”

Newbie:“Yes, I’m fine, thank you. Of course, there is still a lot to learn, but I like everything. How long have you been working here?”

You:“Since [time you started working]. I still can’t believe that [here is some memorable event from the life of the company that you caught].”

Your job is to start a conversation and make the newbie feel relaxed. No, of course, you can look away when you see a new person, mutter “hello” to him and run on to make your coffee, but you are capable of more, right? Friendly relationships with colleagues are worth it.

Remember, being a newbie is always difficult. If you care about the company and your role in it, respect its culture and development - for starters, don't ignore newcomers, thinking that someone else should befriend them.

With a colleague who has been working here for a hundred years (and whom you are afraid of)

You:“I’m wondering where to go for lunch. I don’t know these places well yet, but you’ve been working here for a long time. Can you tell me where there are good places?”

Colleague:"What are you exactly interested in?"

This opening opens up many conversation options. This, of course, is not a situation where you need to quickly strike up a conversation, but since you are so afraid of talking to this person, then it is worth getting over yourself and saying more than just “Hello. How are you doing?".

It won't be reckless to start a conversation about work, but it will be easier if you have at least some understanding of what exactly your colleague is working on. Try to point out his or her experience (in in this case- knowledge of a place where you can have lunch). It is quite possible that this is the kindest person, and you have the wrong idea about him. The only way to find out is to boldly start a conversation.

With the event organizer

You:"Perfect place. Thank you for arranging all this for us. Do you plan to do this often?”

Organizer:“You know, of course I plan, because in my company...”

You've probably heard that most people like to talk about themselves? So take advantage of this. This approach is especially useful if you have no idea what to talk about with someone you've just met, or are afraid that you won't have anything interesting to say.

If you start a conversation with the organizer in this manner, it is unlikely that you will have to answer anything. You will only need to periodically insert a few phrases in order to maintain the conversation and make a good impression.

With a VIP

You:"Hello. My name is [your name]. I know you’re very busy, but I realized that I would regret it the rest of my life if I didn’t come and tell you that your app is simply brilliant.”

Chances are, the most the celebrity will do is thank you, and that gratitude shouldn't be taken personally. Compliment - always a good start for conversation. If you have something good to say about that person's company, program, or product, why not start the conversation there and see where it goes from there?

With the former boss

You:"Glad to see you! How are things going at [company name]? I read that you have expanded [department or production]. Surely you are happy about this development.”

Former boss:“Yes, I'm glad. Everything is a little chaotic now, but it’s interesting to work. I like having something to focus on.”

No matter the circumstances under which you left the company, you still don't have to pretend you don't see your former boss at the snack table. Be polite to him. This will demonstrate your character and professionalism. This isn't the first time you've encountered someone you don't want to talk to, but as they say, skill comes with experience.

Even if your former boss is angry with you after you leave, he is unlikely to be able to ignore your kindness.

With an employee from an unfamiliar department

You:“So, how is your week going? Are you busy with projects?

Interlocutor:“We’re busier than usual because we’re currently working on [the team’s main project].”

You:“Oh, interesting. I didn't know you were doing this too. What exactly are you doing?

This vague start to the conversation makes it clear that you don’t know what exactly this employee does (don’t worry, he probably doesn’t know what you do either). But, nevertheless, this way you can start a conversation about his affairs and the work of his team.

If your interlocutor turns out to be talkative, perhaps he will describe in detail what his department does, and you will have something to talk about the next time you meet. If he is uncommunicative, then you can talk about your work.

With your boss's significant other

You:“It’s so good that you were able to come. It's great to finally meet the person I've heard so much about. Susan said that you like to cook together. What dish did you do best?”

Companion:"Hard to tell. Probably chicken in the oven...”

This way of starting the conversation implies that you will remember something that you heard from your boss about his “other half.” If nothing comes to mind, try to find out about it in a more popular way by asking: “I wonder what things we distracted you from with our event?” or “What else interesting happened to you this week (besides this meeting!)?”

When talking with your boss’s “other half,” you shouldn’t act too relaxed and as if you’ve known each other for a long time. But you shouldn’t treat her like a stranger. As with a seemingly unfriendly co-worker, try not to become nervous. If you already have a good working relationship with your boss, then communicating with his “other half” will only improve it.

With an intern

You:“How was the weekend? Are you watching or reading anything interesting right now?”

Trainee:"Great. I'm now hooked on [series one] and [series two]. Are you watching them?

You:“Oh, I heard [the first series] was cool, but I haven’t watched it yet. But I'm watching [the second series]. I love the actor who plays dad.”

Once you start a conversation with a topic about TV series, books or films, you are unlikely to have problems continuing the conversation. Unless, of course, the intern lives in a cave and doesn’t know what’s going on in the world. Find some common interests or discuss something you strongly disagree with. Do you like "The Americans" and does he like "House of Cards"? Forward. A good way to move the conversation beyond the standard “Hi. How was your weekend?”, “Okay, how are you?”

Of course, these are all exemplary situations. It is impossible to predict exactly how your interlocutor will answer you. But that doesn't matter. If you learn how to approach people and start a conversation, you will easily cope in any situation. Be yourself, be authentic, and understand that starting and maintaining a conversation requires some effort for most people.

Know Your Company CEO Claire Liu shares six ways to get employees talking and understand what they really think about you and your company

Interrogation. Scene from the movie Skyfall

One day, about five years ago, my CEO invited me to a one-on-one conversation. The year was ending and he wanted to know what I thought the company needed to improve, whether he could improve as a leader. And he wanted to hear from me exactly what I thought. But despite his assurances that he could “handle the truth,” I couldn’t bring myself to tell him like it was.

But the truth was that I wasn't sure overall strategy company development. I was concerned that some staff felt they were being treated unfairly. But it seemed pointless to me to talk about it. I couldn’t imagine that the CEO would listen to me and change something in the company. On the contrary, it seemed to me that this would only cause a negative reaction. Therefore, it seemed to me that it was better to remain silent.

I will never forget this feeling when you are hiding something. You prefer to remain silent because you don’t believe in the possibility of any changes. I'll be honest: I'm not proud of my silence. Now, knowing everything about the need for feedback from the manager, I would not do this. As a CEO, I can imagine how disappointed my manager felt when I left the company a few months after this “straight talk.”

Based own experience, I'm very particular about one-on-one conversations with employees in my own company. I don't want my team members to feel the way I did when I was on the other side of the table. And I don’t want to repeat the experience of my former boss, for whom the real feelings of his employees became a revelation.

And here’s what you need to do to make the one-on-one conversation as open as possible.

Make empathy your goal

Every time I have a one-on-one conversation, I have to understand how the other person is feeling. Everything else fades into the background. During the conversation, I don’t criticize the employee’s performance, I don’t say that it’s time for the project to reach new level(all this will be a separate discussion). A one-on-one conversation is an invaluable, sacred time to find out how the employee is truly feeling.

When you make empathy your mission, the entire nature of the conversation changes. You start listening more. You start asking more thoughtful questions. You view yourself as an equal to the employee, admitting that you do not have all the answers. Employees notice that you are trying to empathize with them and not just draw your own conclusions. One-on-one conversations become less intimidating for the employee. And then he will be more honest with you.

I demonstrate empathy in conversations with employees to avoid feelings of intimidation. For example, I might say, “Today I want to listen and truly understand how you feel—that’s all. This is not a performance analysis. This is a conversation for me. I need to figure out what I can do to create the most the best place where have you ever worked?

When you openly make empathy your mission, you give employees permission to say anything they might not otherwise be able to tell you.

Ask questions that reveal two things: tension and energy

To get to the core of someone's opinion—especially about negative things—I ask questions that tap into specific moments of tension and specific moments of energy. By tense moments I mean situations where someone was angry, frustrated, bored, etc. Moments of energy are situations where someone felt inspired, enthusiastic, and motivated. Knowing which of these situations occurred can help you understand how to create more positive conditions that energize employees and how to eliminate negative ones that create tension.

When you ask someone about specific times when they felt disappointed, confused, proud, they will point to their emotions during real events, and not something ephemeral or imaginary. For example, if you ask the question “How are you?”, nine out of ten of your employees will answer “I’m fine” or give some other vague and general answer. Question “When did you feel disappointed in the past year?” refers to a specific moment, a specific situation and emotions. You force the employee to think concretely, giving him permission to talk about how he feels working in your company.

Here are some examples of questions you can ask an employee to find out what to avoid:

• When were you disappointed in the past year? What can I do to make things like this less frustrating and less disruptive to your work?
• When have you felt depressed or demoralized in the past year? What can I do to support you and reassure you that this is not an obstacle to further development?
• When have you been disappointed with a decision or direction a company has taken in the past year? Is it possible that we missed something? Where did we fail? What do you think would be the best thing to do?
• When you were unhappy or annoyed with my actions as general director? Why? What can I change in my behavior in the future?
• When were you bored last year? What can I do to stop you feeling this way?
• When have you been stressed or overworked in the past year? What can I do to stop you feeling this way?

Please note that when I talk about a specific point of tension, I also make sure to ask what I or the company can do in the future. This way, your frank conversation does not turn into plaintive tirades, but becomes productive, helping to find a way. This does not mean that you need to solve the problem here and now. But for yourself, you will raise the question of what measures need to be taken in the future, and begin to think constructively.

Here are some examples of questions you can ask about specific energy moments to help you know what to do more of:

• When were you excited about your work in the past year? What can I do to make it more possible for you to feel the same way?
• In the past year, when were you most proud to be a part of the company? What can I do to make you continue to be proud of this?
• When did you feel the most motivated at work? How can we create an environment where you feel this more often?
• When did you feel most “in flow” in the past week? What can we do to give you more space and time to support this feeling?
• What did you want to learn, what skills to improve? Can the company help you with this?
• When did you feel like this company was the best place you've ever worked? How can I make it so?

If this all seems too snotty to you, and it's not really your style, you don't like to talk about emotions - I understand. Try sneaking at least one or two questions about moments of tension or energy into your next candid conversation. I guarantee that these couple of questions will shed a lot of light on the level of employee morale.

And keep in mind that there is nothing wrong with being emotional. How employees feel while working directly affects how well they perform it.

Admit what you did wrong

Sometimes when you ask employees about specific moments of tension or energy, the question itself is not enough to encourage them to open up. People are especially wary of admitting or talking about something negative, and an extra boost may be needed. Why? Because there is a certain relationship between the employees and the business owner, and you have to find a way to neutralize it.

The best way to overcome this barrier is to admit that you think you have fallen short in some areas. Use a question to show where you went wrong. For example, if you ask “What can we do better as a company?” and receive silence in response, share what you are struggling with or unsure about. "I think... it could be better... What do you think?" Or “I think I could be better at... Do you agree or disagree?” By showing vulnerability, you give the employee confidence that their feedback will not be taken negatively.

Explain why you need their help

One of the key things you can do to encourage an employee to be open is to explain why their input is valuable. I often forget to do this myself. But when I do explain, it shows the employee that I'm not asking questions out of vanity or a desire to set limits. I explain how his response affects the success of the company and his own career. Professor Amy Edmondson, who coined the term 'psychological safety in the workplace', recommends making it clear that there is huge uncertainty for the future and huge interdependence. In other words, since the future is uncertain and there is still much to understand, everyone's opinion and response is important. For example, you could tell your employee something like this: “Your opinion really matters. great importance for me, because we have not yet understood how... There is still so much that is unclear, and we need your response in order to solve the problems.”

Don't be defensive

When someone has answered your question candidly, you need to be sure not to become defensive. Defensiveness kills a culture of openness. By being defensive, you tell your employee, “I didn’t really want to hear that,” and you won’t get honest answers the next time. So when someone raises difficult topic, watch yourself. Are you becoming restless and defensive? Or do you listen calmly and ask thoughtful questions further? Your reaction is an indicator to them of whether they will feel comfortable having these difficult conversations in the future.

Talk less

Don't try to refute every comment your interlocutor makes. Don't make excuses about how busy you've been. Ask a short question. Listen. Take notes. Thank the employee for the message and promise to think about what he said. If you find yourself debating, stop. Remind yourself that your job is empathy. This means you need to talk less. The less you say, the more opportunity for an employee to tell you the truth about how he or she feels in the company.

It is not so easy. Every time I have a one-on-one conversation, I get a little nervous when I ask about moments of tension. And I always take a deep breath to avoid defensive reaction when employees answer me.

Having honest conversations requires discipline and a certain amount of courage. And above all, it requires a true desire to know the truth. What makes me look for honest answers every time in such conversations is the confidence that an objective picture of the current reality - how our business is developing, what our employees think about the company - is the only way to build the best company and become a better leader. Without knowing the truth, I squander the chance to make the company better and even push valuable employee to care.

Having an honest conversation with an employee is one of the few ways to find this truth. Let us redouble our efforts to do this well.