Spiritual and physical intimacy with a loved one. Relationship Basics

I immediately set a framework for myself - a week to find a worthy foreign candidate for a husband. The first thing I did was go online - “marry a foreigner.” One of the results in the search engine is the Fortunata marriage agency, which specializes in pimping Russian girls and guys from other countries and even romantic tours abroad. Exactly what is needed!

The agency is located on the outskirts of Moscow in a hotel complex. The owner of the company, Tatyana, meets me in a small office. From the very beginning I ask about guarantees of successful acquaintance.

Over the entire history of the agency - which is 15 years - more than 500 happy unions have been concluded. On the table and walls are photographs of couples that the newlyweds send to Tatyana. Certificates confirming the qualifications of a psychologist in family relationships proudly hang there. At the same time, Tatyana herself was married three times, and is now divorced.

“Foreigners love Russian girls. Unlike emancipated Europeans, a Russian girl is soft, pliable, homely, ready to love and start a family. Brown hair, light eyes, plump lips, a kind of Russian nesting doll, is the ideal of any foreigner,”

It turns out that to meet a foreigner you can go on a romantic tour. Tatyana catches my surprised look and explains:

This is a great way to combine business with pleasure! You are enjoying a vacation in another country and at the same time meeting nice men. During your week abroad, we invite you to meet five candidates. Italy, Germany, Bulgaria, Switzerland, France, Greece, Spain - you just need to choose the direction that interests you. The cost of tours varies depending on the country and the number of days of stay. So, for example, a week-long romantic tour to Bulgaria costs 1 thousand euros, to Western Europe a little more. This includes p birth and excursion program. There you will be accompanied by m managers are mostly Russian wives of foreigners who will show you all the interesting places in the country plus tell you what life is like in a foreign land.

Wherein The agency is not responsible for security, but only gives warnings and instructions. So, if something happens, according to the contract, the agency does not bear any responsibility.

There are also classic marriage agency services. Tatyana offered me two options. The full package for six months costs 50 thousand rubles. This includes a photo shoot, video recording, placement in the dating database and a full consultation for six months. The matchmaker promised assistance in writing a letter to potential suitors, as well as the services of a translator. However, it does not promise me 100% marriage, but it guarantees constant acquaintances with men. A cheaper option is a basic service for 15 thousand rubles without consultations and an interpreter.

Our difference from a typical dating site is that we ourselves are looking for a man according to your preferences. Together with you, we will draw up a portrait of your ideal husband and will select candidates during the term of the contract.

I was offered to immediately fill out the contract. I promised Tatyana to think about it, although I myself definitely decided that it was too expensive. It’s better to go abroad several times yourself or register on a free dating site. Which is what I did.

Meeting website

I chose the RussianDating website. According to statistics, the most users there are from the USA (6,734 people) and Turkey (4,313), followed by England (1,939), then Canada (924), Italy (920) and Germany (849).

After registering on the site, in less than a day I received more than 40 messages from men from different countries. A day later, the number of friend requests increased to 80 people. For convenience, I added several profiles to my favorites - men from Germany, Turkey, Italy, the USA and a Canadian resident living in Moscow.

Almost immediately I received a proposal for a meeting from a resident of Antalya named Corcovadoya.

“We should meet, unless, of course, you think I’m old. Do you have Schengen? I think we could meet for the first time in Europe,” a 35-year-old tall, brown-eyed brunette writes to me, judging by the description.

Having not received an answer from me within 20 minutes, he flared up: “It’s a pity that you ignored me, deciding that I was too old for you. Sorry for bothering you.”

The Europeans turned out to be less persistent. They were interested in my hobbies and told me about themselves. It turns out that most of them really want to start a family. At least that's what they say.

Russian women are close to me in mentality,” 30-year-old Diego, a programmer from Italy, explains his interest. - Russians have a realistic approach to life. I was dating a girl from St. Petersburg, we met during her vacation in Florence. Almost immediately after we met, we began to live with me in Pisa. She was cheerful and economical, I felt very at ease with her. But two years later we had a crisis in our relationship and we decided to separate. I visited her in Russia and I liked the warmth and simplicity of the Russian mentality. And now I’ve been looking for a girl on dating sites for six months now.

"Russian women just want to be happy, loved and enjoy everything that marriage can give them. Italian women are more interested in work and money. And besides, Russian women are truly beautiful!"

So, during a week of constant correspondence, I received an offer to meet from an Italian from Rimini and an expat from Canada living in Moscow (he suggested that we meet somewhere in a local bar after work).

I told my friend about my successes. As it turned out, she also had experience communicating with a foreigner on a dating site.

We met on the Internet,” Olga recalls. - A charming German, 10 years older than me. Daily correspondence and calls did their job - a year later we met in Stockholm and began to live together: either with me in Arkhangelsk, or with him in Mönchengladbach. For my sake, he then left his fiancée. But after four years of relationship, my feelings faded away, and I invited him to break up (at that moment we were separated - each in his own country). As a result, he sent me a video from the forest, where he collected all my things, burned them and buried them with the words “I wish you will find your personal hell.”

To be honest, after such a story, the desire to continue correspondence disappeared. It's time for real life dating.

Speeddating

On a warm Saturday evening, I went to speeddating in English, held in a cafe in the center of Moscow, to look for a foreign husband.

At the entrance, I paid for a ticket in the amount of 1.5 thousand rubles, received a badge with my name and a participant’s card, where my sympathies were noted - with whom I would like to continue acquaintance. If likes coincide, the organizers send each other’s phone numbers for further communication.

The African American presenter sat me down at the table. There are 11 more Russian girls sitting at neighboring tables who want to meet foreigners.

You look quite young... Did your mother send you? - an elegant blonde in a leopard print dress asks me.

No, she came herself - I can’t say that I’m on an editorial assignment and am ready to run away.

“I tried almost everything, even registered on the dating site Tinder - to no avail,” my neighbor continues the conversation. - But today my mother brought me here, I’m already 27 years old, it’s time to get married!

In addition to desperate husband seekers, there are also those who simply spend their leisure time this way.

I am an English teacher, I am interested in practicing it with native speakers. Plus, it's a fun time! - says a woman about 35 years old.

There is a feeling that she is lying...

Finally, those for whom we all came here appear - 12 men sit down on the opposite side of the tables. According to the rules, 5 minutes are allotted for getting to know each other, then, at a signal, the men move to the next table, while the girls remain in their places.

“I came here just to have fun, I practically passed by,” says my first partner, who for some reason turned out to be Russian (I then took another look at the speeddating poster, which promised only expats).

It soon became clear that only four out of twelve were foreigners here, and the rest were Russians, like my first counterpart.

At the signal from the leader, the men changed places, and the dark-skinned Colombian Daniel stood in front of me.

You are very beautiful, just like your country. - Oh, these foreigners know how to win them over.

I love Russia very much; I have been working as a designer in Moscow for three years. I don’t plan to return to my homeland, I want to find a wife in Moscow,” Daniel says frankly. - Russian women are ideal wives: they think about family, children, housekeeping. Our women, like Europeans, think only about careers and money.

Daniel smiles warmly and I circle his name in a heart. The next person to sit next to me is a 45-year-old Frenchman who moved from Paris to Russia for work.

I work at a laminate manufacturing plant. I know French, Italian, German and English, but in Moscow there are few people I can talk to in them. Therefore, in order to meet a girl, you have to go to such events. I don’t like Paris, I would like to live with my Russian girlfriend in Russia.

The latest expat was Alex from the UK. Alex is an English teacher and has been living in Moscow for five years. A 27-year-old guy wants to practice his Russian language and is looking for a conversation partner, not a wife. Perhaps I was simply not his type, and a true English gentleman decided not to upset me.

I was never able to communicate with the fourth foreign guest; he left the establishment in the middle of the event.

At the end of the speed dating, I handed over my sympathy card to the host. The next morning, the organizers sent me the phone number of the Colombian Daniel. He liked me too. The first SMS came from him within a day...

So, after speeddating I have one potential husband. The obvious advantage of this method of dating is that you immediately see the person, and even five minutes is enough to understand whether you like him or not.

Public places

Another familiar “owner” of a foreign husband came up with an idea - you can easily meet a foreigner in bars, restaurants, and at exhibitions. The main thing is to choose the right place.

Jamie came from Canada to Russia for work,” Anna shares her memories. - When a mutual friend introduced us at a bar, he was so shy that he ran to the toilet! Throughout the week we saw him constantly, but just as friends. Jamie then flew to Canada for a month, but continued to write me letters. Afterwards he began to fly to me, we went on vacation to Spain together. He proposed a year and a half later. On December 31, he secretly flew to Russia and asked my parents for my hand in marriage. And then he called me to the bridge of lovers, where everywhere there were inscriptions “Anna, will you marry?”. The wedding took place in Russia.

Where can you meet an expat in Moscow? The foreigners I met on speeddating highlighted several favorite places.

I really love the Patriarch's Ponds, Tsaritsyno. Among the establishments, I like quiet cafes, like “Apartment 44”, “Marie Vann”y” and “Pushkina”, shares the Frenchman Michele.

I often go to Strelka on Red October - a meeting place for smart, interesting young people with whom you can talk in English, says Daniel from Colombia. - My favorite route is from the Tretyakov Gallery to Gorky Park.

I can relax in the old “Propaganda” in Kitay-Gorod, and next Saturday go to fashionable Soho. Moscow is beautiful in its contrast, why choose just one? - says Alex, a teacher from Britain.

One evening, while taking a break from my foreign acquaintances, I looked at my Instagram feed. Having seen a handsome young man from Germany in the recommendations, I automatically liked one of the photos.

The German responded almost instantly and began actively writing to me. We started chatting cheerfully about all sorts of nonsense, and a little later it turned out that he was a hockey player for the German national team and had come to St. Petersburg for the World Hockey Championship.

Marcel is a handsome and cheerful athlete; he broke up with his girlfriend a couple of months ago. When I asked why he wrote to me, he replied that he had never been to Russia or talked to Russian girls, but when he saw my like, he could not restrain himself. Our communication lasts a week, and Marcel really hopes to meet, each time thanking Instagram for our acquaintance.

In general, to find an interesting person, you don’t have to buy expensive tours abroad or go on blind dates. Sometimes it's enough to just trust fate.

When you hear the question “what is the basis of a successful (mature, good, strong) relationship?”, what comes to mind? From somewhere in my childhood I remember the phrases: “mutual understanding”, “respect”, “support” - and I do not in the least belittle the importance of these components in a relationship, but, in my opinion, this is still not their basis.

In order for a relationship to be happy, and, most importantly, long-lasting, four foundations are needed, or rather, intimacy:

– on the physical level,
- on the emotional,
– intellectual,
– and, finally, spiritual.

Physical intimacy.

This is perhaps the most pleasant and most short-lived basis of relationships in the absence of other bringing factors together - most often they begin with partners attracting each other physically. Mutual sympathy and attraction can burn out very quickly, even without the notorious physical contact, if they are not combined with other levels of attractiveness. In order to stay together, you need something much more than just passion, and it seems to me that everyone knows this feeling - when you really want to be together, but in your mind you understand that apart from “chemistry” nothing unites you with a person. On the other hand, relationships that are built on other foundations in the absence of physical attraction cannot give people complete satisfaction. You can’t remove the words from a song, and this is exactly the case.

Emotional intimacy.

People are attracted to each other according to different principles, for example, similarity or opposition of temperaments. I don’t know a formula that would guarantee success here, I only know that if you are emotionally uncomfortable with a person, if he dominates you, or you discover behavior that is not typical for you around him, you literally change beyond recognition, and you can say “that’s not me.” ", such relationships are doomed. I believe that we can change and mutually enrich each other in relationships, but if a partner, for example, reinforces your bad qualities, this is the opposite direction of healthy development. One of the most precious gifts that a relationship gives is the opportunity to be yourself, and you cannot refuse it, just as you cannot agree to the conditions when you have to be someone else. In my understanding, emotional intimacy is also the speed with which both partners move forward in the relationship, going through the stages of infatuation, falling in love, and coming to love. You won't necessarily arrive second to second, but it is important to understand where and how you are going, and for this you need to talk.

Intellectual intimacy.

This is a community of interests, an intellectual “bewitchment” of each other: even if you do not hold the same views on everything, you are happy to share points of view, are able to understand and teach each other. What is important here is not only approximate equality in intellectual development, but also the direction of this development: both people can be smart, but their interests do not intersect at any point, or there is a constant clash of views. American films often illustrate the impossibility of a man and a woman being together if one of them is a staunch Democrat and the other is an ardent Republican. In our country, political views do not play such a big role, but partners’ life priorities must coincide.

Spiritual intimacy.

This is the highest and most difficult to explain level of intimacy. In my understanding, closeness in spirit is, firstly, accepting your partner as he is, and the characteristics of his character as part of a single whole, and not trying to change him. If he himself changes (and this inevitably happens in the process of development), accept these changes with love and joy for your loved one. Secondly, spiritual intimacy allows us to experience love that is “giving” rather than “taking”: in the first case, we want to give happiness to our partner, and in the second, we want to receive from him. On a spiritual level, we understand that giving love is the highest happiness for ourselves. Thirdly, relationships in which there is spiritual intimacy motivate us to work on ourselves and develop - not because this is required of us, but because this is our sincere desire.

Of course, we learn best from experience, but there are some things we can do in advance to determine whether two people have what it takes to create true love and a long-lasting, productive relationship. Being honest with yourself and each other can prevent you from getting into a relationship that doesn't have a happy future. ©

According to tantric teachings, when a man meets a woman, an exchange of energy begins between them.

It is natural for a man to be charged with energy from above (ideological), and for a woman - from below (energy of power). To bring an idea to life, a man needs to be “charged” with feminine power. And a woman, since she is a “bank” of energy, is not able to spend it for action, but only gives it away, because she receives the type of energy she needs only in the process of interaction with a man.

There is always an exchange of energies between the stronger and weaker sex. As soon as a boy is born, he already has a mother who inspires him, giving him her maternal love. Then he meets his first, second love, a pretty employee at work - in all representatives of the fair sex, a man strives to find that same source of energy, filled with strength from which he can successfully realize himself in life.

Then, when a love relationship begins between a man and a woman, the woman gives herself (not only physically, but also taking care of her loved one, morally and intellectually), and the man, receiving feminine power, is able to create and take active actions in life.

Everything is clear with this, but this is only the initial stage, during which energy does not flow yet, because the exchange itself does not occur. Having been filled with the necessary feminine power that allows him to embody his ideas, a man should return energy to the woman (in the form of gifts, financial care, physical assistance), in such an amount as to inspire his lady to further return.

And this interaction is constant.

Energy connection between a man and a woman

When people feel sympathy for each other, they actively exchange their energies and this process gives them mutual pleasure. When contact occurs between the biofields of two individuals, channels are formed through which energy circulates from one side to the other.

These streams can vary in color and shape (they can be seen by people with extrasensory abilities).

Partners are connected through these energy channels through one or another, based on the type of their communication:

• by – family relations;
• by – relationships like lovers, married couples or friends for easy pastime;
• by - family ties, relationships between colleagues at work, bosses, friends in sports hobbies - those people with whom you are forced to compete;
• By - this type of connection will tell about relationships in which objects interact with each other emotionally - these are the people towards whom we feel love. But for the relationship between a man and a woman to be harmonious, it is important that they have a well-developed channel of sexual energy;
• by – relationships between like-minded people, work colleagues;
• by - often communication through this channel speaks of copying one’s idols, leaders of sects and various organizations. The hypnotic channel is well developed; other people's thoughts and ideas are suggested. People are connected to each other by telepathic communication
• according to – the connection is present only at the level of egregors (collective, family, religious and others).

And the more both partners show their interest in each other, the more extensive the energy channel is formed between them. And with the establishment of strong relationships, it is observed.

This is how love relationships are formed, over which neither time nor distance will have power. For example, a mother always feels her child, no matter where he is, even if a lot of time has passed since their last meeting.

In a healthy relationship between a man and a woman, clean, bright, pulsating channels are formed. Then the partners trust each other, they are sincere, but at the same time maintain their personal living space. In this case, we can talk about equivalent energy metabolism, without disturbances.

And if the relationship is unhealthy, for example, one of the partners becomes dependent on the other, then the channels become dim and heavy. In such a relationship there is no freedom; lovers often show irritation, aggression and anger towards each other over time.

When one of the partners wants to take complete control of the other, the aura is observed to wrap around from all sides.

With the death of a relationship, the same thing happens with the channels - they become thinner, weaker. After a long period of time, the movement of energy through the channels stops and people become as if they were strangers, as if nothing had connected them before.

And if a separation occurs, but the energy channels are preserved, then people continue to be drawn to each other. This scenario may also happen when one of the former lovers breaks the energetic connection and closes off from subsequent influences, and the second continues to restore the relationship, breaking through his layer of energetic protection.

Energy connection between people during sexual contact

If there was a close relationship between people, the channels do not collapse for a long time after separation. This is especially pronounced during sexual contacts.

When we enter into sexual relations with a new partner, a new channel is formed along the sexual chakra. Such channels remain active for a very long time (for years, and sometimes they remain active even throughout life).

In this case, it does not play a significant role whether the sexual partners managed to get to know each other sufficiently or whether their connection was fleeting (at a party, at a graduation, etc.), the energy channel along the sexual chakra will still be formed and will be active for a very long time.

And if there is a channel, energy continues to circulate through it. And whether it will be positive or negative, you can only find out about this if you know both partners well.

An interesting feature is that people living together typically adjust their energy shells relative to each other. For harmonious intimate relationships, synchronization of biofields is necessary. That is why, often lovers, when they live together, over time acquire similarities with each other (often even physical).

When a person does not want to contact anyone, he closes the circuit of his own, as a result of which all energy flows emanating from those around him are reflected. Then other people feel like they are not being heard.

Features of male and female energy in a couple

As mentioned above, in the case of mutual feelings between lovers, a single energy field arises, which will be maintained in the future if the conditions of the partnership are met. A couple will become stronger if both partners fill their union with their energy, supporting both themselves and their beloved.

A very important point is that each of the partners must act based on their nature: the man - like a man, and the woman - like a woman.

For example, when a woman develops masculine energy in herself, manifesting herself in the physical world like a man, then if she lives alone, perhaps this will not affect her well-being. But, being in a couple’s environment, her man will be forced to develop a feminine demeanor (the same rule applies to men).

In general, in a couple, the man is responsible for the world of material wealth, and the woman is responsible for sensual manifestations and the atmosphere of the relationship as a whole. Therefore, a man gives energy through the material chakra, and a woman receives it, and she, in turn, gives energy through the heart chakra.

This was how nature intended it to be, and actions against it will negatively affect the condition of the partners individually and the couple as a whole.