Characters according to zodiac signs. Playful horoscope
Aries is always pleased with himself, which is reflected on his face. He rarely thinks, says and does the same thing. Usually he does everything wrong, but just dare to tell him about it. Then you will regret that you were born. The stubbornness of Aries is legendary, and not surprisingly, a ram, he is a ram.
If he gets stubborn, you won’t budge him. He always has two opinions on all events and phenomena, one is his, the other is incorrect. Aries says that he is never wrong, and therefore he believes that God was most likely an Aries.
Aries are as stubborn in love as in everything else. And if he seeks someone’s favor, he does it until the object of his passion gets tired of refusing him. And when he achieves the favor of his partner, he himself does not know why he needed it.
During the siege (it lasts a very long time), the object loses its attractiveness for him. Those who fall in love with Aries should only be pitied.
In the family, Aries loves to point things out, but does not want to do anything. And there is no way to move him from such a convenient position for him.
Cheerful horoscope for Taurus
Taurus is very stubborn, in this he is similar to Aries. Only someone who admires Taurus, tells him that he is always right, and, meanwhile, passing off his ideas as the ideas of Taurus, can convince him. Taurus women are very emotional and trusting.
About our love relationships she only speaks in superlatives. And if a man tells her that he can’t live without her, she really believes it.
Taurus men are hoarders and hoarders. They drag into the house everything they can get their hands on: old household appliances, broken furniture, a woman they don’t need. And then they wonder why the house is so cramped and noisy (the noise is from a woman who also cannot understand why she was brought here).
Taurus are very fond of various conflicts and gladly take the most ardent part in them, without being interested in the cause of the conflict. And when they find out the reason for the showdown, they beat themselves in the chest and say: “Oh my, what nonsense they fought over!”
Fun horoscope for Gemini
Geminis are two very similar people rolled into one. Since they are very similar, this irritates them and they argue all the time. If one says, “I want this woman,” the other will definitely object, “What do you need this slut for?” And as a result, the Gemini man chooses another, and then wonders, “What did I find in her?”
Gemini women are contradictory and fickle in their passions. They change men so often that sometimes they don’t even have time to remember the name of the next partner. And in order not to completely get confused in the names of their counterparts, they call everyone the same “my Hercules,” until the next lover turns out to be a short, skinny man.
He, of course, takes this treatment as ridicule. IN Everyday life Geminis are very indecisive. Can't accept it quickly the right decision, because one Gemini pulls in one direction, the other (out of spite) in the other. And it turns out, as in the immortal work of V.I. Lenin "One step forward, two steps back."
Fun horoscope for Cancer
Cancers are very cowardly and timid. They are constantly afraid that they will be accused of something, so they try to please everyone and make a bunch of impossible promises to everyone. They speak mainly in slogans and stereotypes, so that others do not suspect them of having any ulterior motives.
Crayfish lie without blushing (red crayfish are only boiled) and very inventively. It’s not for nothing that there are so many Cancers among politicians.
In love, Cancers are very careful, meticulously and carefully choosing a partner for themselves, even for life, even for the night. They rummage and sort through, like in the ruins of a second-hand store.
And when friends are surprised by such a long search for their loved one: “Are you choosing a cow?”, Cancers thoughtfully answer: “You can sell a cow, but you can suffer with this (this) all your life (night).
At work, Cancers are sycophants and sycophants, their bosses are gods and celestial beings, but if the opportunity arises (and it is safe for Cancer), they will gladly trip up their beloved boss.
Cheerful horoscope for Leo
The lion is in nature the king of beasts. People zodiac sign Leo never forgets about this. They are arrogant, selfish, always confident in their superiority and do not tolerate the opinions of others. You will be the most best friend Leo, if you constantly flatter him and praise his virtues.
Leos love to hang their portraits on the walls, and the larger the images, the better.
Leo women are like female spiders" black widow“If they don’t destroy their chosen one immediately after a night of love, then they gnaw at him for the rest of his life, or until the partner has enough patience.
Leo men love only themselves; they are simply not capable of loving anyone else. Therefore, they choose women who know only two words “yes” and “I obey.”
Cheerful horoscope for Virgo
If your zodiac sign is Virgo, then your loved ones and friends are terribly unlucky. You are obsessed with order, scrupulousness and cleanliness. Virgos are extremely neat and methodical. The need to tidy up and clean turns into a passion for them. If you get up from a chair or sofa in Virgo’s apartment, she immediately begins to smooth out the cape and shake off non-existent dust from it.
If Virgo falls into a small car accident, then the first thing she says to the approaching inspector about the second participant in the accident: “It’s no wonder that this teapot got into an accident, look how dirty his car is!”
A mandatory item in Virgo's house is a magnifying glass. With its help, she examines all the furnishings in the house, thus looking for dust particles.
Virgo also strictly plans her love relationships; meetings and sex with her partner occur according to schedule.
Cheerful horoscope for Libra
Libra is languid and graceful and full of incomprehensible mystery and nobility that is not understood by the rest of humanity. They love to dress fashionably and pay close attention to fashion. Their desire to look fashionable is so great that if someone assures them that it is fashionable: Libra women will put on a skirt inside out, and men will wear a shirt instead of trousers and tie it in a knot at the waist.
Libras love to teach everyone and explain everything to everyone. For example, with tenacity worthy best use, they will tell you the difference between a latte and coffee with milk. And it is useless to object to them that these are one and the same thing.
In love, Libra is mysterious and unpredictable. Sometimes the chosen one (chosen one) of Libra cannot understand what the Libra partner is trying to say. Either he invites you to an intimate date, or he says goodbye forever.
Cheerful horoscope for Scorpio
Scorpios consider themselves irresistible individuals; they can spend hours looking in the mirror and admiring themselves. They are great inventors and are always full of grandiose plans, but as soon as it comes to putting these plans into practice, they stop at the very first difficulties, saying, “I didn’t really want to.”
Scorpios are very loving and indecently sexual. They are proud of their love victories and talk about it on every corner. There’s just one small nuance: Scorpio men like those women, looking at whom other men say: “No, I can’t drink that much vodka,” and Scorpio women choose for themselves such chosen ones, about whom you can say that they just got off the hook yesterday. trees or crawled onto land.
Cheerful horoscope for Sagittarius
Sagittarians are such adventurers that being around them is simply dangerous. They may invite you to jump with a parachute, assuring you that they have done it a hundred times and will even offer to fold your parachute. Never agree, otherwise their satisfied face will be the last thing you see in your life.
Don’t even think about introducing your chosen one, if it’s a Sagittarius, to your parents. The ancestors will be shocked.
Sagittarians are careless and unfaithful lovers. Having parted with you in the evening, assuring you of his passionate love, in the morning he may simply not remember about you.
Cheerful horoscope for Capricorn
Capricorns are a peculiar mixture of Leo and Virgo. They believe that they are as charismatic as Leos and as logical as Virgos. In fact, they have the self-importance of Leo and the sadness of Virgo.
Capricorns are terrible workaholics, but they work with such a gloomy and dull look that you just want to tell them: “Put on a different face, a little more cheerful.”
In love, Capricorns are pessimists. His chosen one (chosen one) can prove his love a hundred times, but Capricorn is firmly convinced that he will certainly be abandoned. What happens most often is that the partner gets tired of fighting with the universal despondency of Capricorn.
Cheerful horoscope for Aquarius
Aquarians are the most “knowledgeable” people in the world. Ask Aquarius what Nadezhda Krupskaya was sick with as a child or what stars the constellation Sagittarius is made up of, and he will tell you with a smart look and in great detail about everything.
Aquarians love their body very much, they love to be naked, and therefore they are very willing to visit nudist beaches.
Aquarians are wonderful lovers, and if you constantly listen to them, agree with everything and admire their extensive knowledge, Aquarius will love you like Romeo.
Cheerful horoscope for Pisces
Pisces are very vengeful creatures, God forbid you offend this sign. Outwardly, they will not show that they are offended, but you will subsequently regret for a long time that you offended Pisces.
Pisces are very slow in everything, and they are also drivers. If you see a car driving along the highway at a speed of 40-50 km per hour, be sure that a representative of this sign is driving.
In love, Pisces are cold and predictable; they are said to be “dead fish.” But they consider themselves almost Scorpios in love relationships.
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Someone just helplessly throws up his hands when he gets angry, while the other is already tearing and rushing around in search of someone who will take this blow, not himself. And often this directly depends on the Zodiac Sign.
Our horoscope of angry Zodiac Signs is just a joke, but, as you know, there is some truth in every joke. Perhaps it will be useful to you the next time your Capricorn boss loses his temper, and maybe you will look at yourself from the outside and with humor.
Aries
Aries can get angry in no time. He can flare up, flare up with anger, and in this state he usually resembles an angry bull at a bullfight. Fortunately, Aries is quite easy-going, despite the fact that this zodiac sign is considered stubborn.
Taurus
Taurus is patient, and therefore gets angry for a long time. Representatives of this zodiac sign can accumulate grievances, harboring them within themselves, and then present them to the offender, and when he is not expecting it. Therefore, psychologists advise such people to speak out and not hold tension within themselves.
Twins
Geminis get angry on a grand scale, without mincing words, and if they are angered purposefully, then in their methods of revenge. Fortunately, Geminis are addicted people, and they usually distract themselves from negative emotions with something else.
And that’s right, because there is so much positive and worthless stuff around. negative emotions. will talk about it.
Cancer
When angry, Cancer may become offended, sad, or even take the position of a victim. But it is precisely in this situation that the evil Cancer is especially terrible, since, by causing a feeling of guilt in those around him, he is capable of bringing to repentance both his offender and even those who are not at all involved in Cancer’s troubles.
a lion
An angry Leo will certainly want to solve the problem, feeling hurt. He can build a grandiose plan for revenge on his enemy, create multi-stage gossip for the rumor lover who has offended him.
There is one “but” - those around him will bring Leo’s idea to life, which means that the evil Leo is quite dangerous for his inner circle.
Virgo
Virgo can make insidious plans for revenge for a very long time and will definitely remember all the negativity on occasion, since this zodiac sign is quite vindictive. Virgo is able to write a hundred complaints about unfair service and not get tired.
She never gets tired of congratulating her rival on her defeat every year, and it is not in vain that many advise Virgo to direct all this energy in a useful direction.
Scales
Libras, when angry, experience conflicting feelings, and this is where their dual nature is revealed in all its glory. Should I continue to be angry or forgive and let go? Should I remember everything or erase the source of all this negativity from my life? Libra can fluctuate for a very long time, and the outcome of the situation depends on at what stage Libra gets tired of thinking and decides to act.
Scorpion
Scorpio is the same Zodiac Sign that, when angry, combines the ingenuity of Gemini, the perseverance of Virgo and the scope of Leo. In revenge or retaliatory strikes, Scorpio has no equal. However, when speaking against the Universe, it is important to remember the Law of Boomerang, and not only return negativity to the enemy, but also leave strength for something good for loved ones.
Sagittarius
Sagittarius gets angry unpredictably. Sometimes he may wave his hand and say something like “Come on, buddy, whoever doesn’t,” although you clearly feel that you are to blame and are already off your feet, thinking about how to correct the situation.
But at the same time, Sagittarius can remember that once, eight years ago, it was you who drank his yogurt, and remember this for a very long time. True, it is unlikely that Sagittarius will be seriously angry at this.
Capricorn
Capricorn gets angry little and rarely, simply because it is very difficult to get Capricorn angry. But if someone managed to shake this bastion of self-control and calm, it will be very difficult not to fall under attack, since Capricorn, like Virgo, has a good memory.
Aquarius
Aquarius usually gets angry very violently, be it a passerby stepping on his foot or universal injustice. But Aquarius rarely comes to retaliatory maneuvers. He prefers to prove to his ill-wisher by deeds that he is better, without becoming like his competitors or opponents.
Fish
Pisces, as a rule, get angry inactively, and can relive grievances over and over again. It can be easier for this Zodiac Sign to let go of both the situation and its possible culprit, and move on with life. But if this doesn’t work, the advice of psychologists will help get rid of anger.
Be less angry and smile more often, because smiling and positivity prolong life and improve energy.
Of course, a comic horoscope based on zodiac signs has a right to life. Some people believe that such horoscopes are unreliable, however, by reading short, sparkling characteristics, they recognize themselves and their friends.
Exactly cool horoscope according to the signs of the zodiac, he calls things by their proper names. If you have a sense of humor, read it!
Cool horoscope according to the zodiac signs of the element of Fire
The Ram is always right, he knows the price of everything, it’s easier to shoot him than to argue. Impeccably honest. If a suit doesn’t suit you or you’re overweight, he’ll tell you honestly about it. In everyday life he is usually useless, but he generates brilliant ideas to match Sagittarius.
Leo - cool horoscope according to zodiac signs
People are divided into two types - those close to them and everyone else. He is an egoist, but he is forgiven for his holy belief in his own impeccability. The best in everything! He makes it clear to his marriage partner that it came to him along with the status of the lion’s chosen one. Unarmed in the face of flattery, with the help of which one can twist ropes out of the Leo zodiac sign.
Sagittarius - a comic horoscope for the zodiac sign
Sagittarius readily expresses his opinions even when he is advised to hold his tongue. But the mouth of the Sagittarius zodiac sign does not close, because his personal opinion should become the truth for everyone. A lucky sign in life! Sagittarius has a lot of friends who, if something happens, will not let him disappear.
Comic horoscope according to the zodiac signs of the Earth element
More stubborn than Aries, just stubborn, but not an innovator, boring and greedy. It doesn't have this charming sheepish indifference and... The zodiac sign Taurus is an unsurpassed slow-witted person. Lustful. Constant in affections. Distrustful and wary of new people, but will stand up for old friends.
Virgo - comic horoscope by zodiac sign
According to statistics, most psychopathic maniacs are born under the Virgo zodiac sign. These heartless monsters poison the life of everyone who finds themselves in the same territory with their pedantry and love of law and order. But in everyday life, Virgo is useful like no other.
Capricorn - a cool horoscope about zodiac signs
Happiness can only be achieved in one way - by breaking in like hell. The meaning of his life is in work. At first he seems meek, but at the first opportunity he will give you a noticeable poke. He receives the greatest pleasure if he manages to do this with Leo, whom he cannot stand for his arrogance. Leo responds to him in kind, cannot stand this dirty trick, and if at the moment of the poke Leo is not in the mood, the zodiac sign Capricorn must immediately run away, otherwise things will end badly.
Comic horoscope according to the zodiac signs of the air element
Twins
No one realizes how difficult it is for the Gemini zodiac sign to survive in this huge world possibilities! Choice is Gemini's obsessive nightmare. They always feel like life is passing them by, even if they get caught up in events.
Libra - cool horoscope according to zodiac signs
Libras consider themselves aesthetes, are unreliable, have seven Fridays a week, and are yearning, which is unattainable in principle for the Libra zodiac sign, because they are in constant dissonance between reality and what they want. They are indecisive, and therefore suffer from nervous ailments.
Aquarius - a comic horoscope for the zodiac sign
Looks like it fell from an oak tree. Oddly enough, many people like this. Even if in the life of the Aquarius zodiac sign everything goes wrong, he manages to give advice that works! Potential criminal. There is no Aquarius without a criminal past; he breaks the law with pleasure and, unlike Gemini, he understands perfectly well what he is doing.
Cool horoscope for the zodiac signs of Water
There is no sign more suspicious than Cancer! Constantly imagines the end of the world, is afraid of his own shadow, falls into hysterics and seeks consolation from Virgo. Disgust. He bores those around him with conversations about his illnesses, which is why everyone except Taurus runs away in horror. Has a penchant for philosophy and alcoholism. The first, as well as the second, is contraindicated for the Cancer zodiac sign.
- Aries (March 21 - April 20): level of craziness - 30%!
If you go to the mountains with someone, then only with Aries. They are avid extreme sports enthusiasts, and they will always give a helping hand to their comrade. Aries clearly follow their path and achieve their goals. Many plans are ripening in their heads, which sometimes seem absolutely crazy. One can only envy their courage and perseverance! - Taurus (April 21 - May 21): level of craziness - 40%!
Stubbornness is the main trait of this sign. Taurus will drive anyone crazy: it is so important for them to prove that they are right. This makes them a little strange in the eyes of other people. Taurus are comprehensively developed, they have kind heart and iron willpower.
- Gemini (May 22 - June 21): level of craziness - 100%!
Most crazy sign zodiac Geminis are fickle and frivolous, you never know what they have in store for you today. But you will never get bored with them! They have a bunch in stock incredible stories and tales from life. Only Geminis are capable of reaching a completely crazy ending in their adventures.
- Cancer (June 22 - July 22): Crazy level - 90%!
Cancers are famous for their sudden mood swings. They prefer not to leave the house, but if they break into night club- be careful. They are the ones who, in a state of intoxication, write crazy messages to their exes. You never know what's on a Cancer's mind, and it drives you crazy!
- Leo (July 23 - August 21): level of madness - 80%!
Representatives of this sign are accustomed to being the center of attention; they love noisy parties and large companies. Leos quickly get drunk, and this loosens their tongue so much that those around them often have to blush. These people have no brakes, they don’t know how to stop in time.
- Virgo (August 22 - September 23): level of madness - 70%!
Virgo works tirelessly on herself, strives for perfection in everything. Control and power are her main passions. These people are capable of doing noble deeds, but they expect recognition for it. Their desire to appear ideal in the eyes of people completely takes over them.
- Libra (September 24 - October 23): level of madness - 30%!
Libras are obsessed with finding balance in everything. Sometimes they are ready to go to extremes, especially when it comes to members of the opposite sex. Libra will do anything to get the object of their affection, even stooping to gossip.
- Scorpio (October 24 - November 22): level of madness - 40%!
The statement that Scorpios sting unbearably is true. Of course, they have no equal in resourcefulness and insight, but this still does not brighten up their shortcomings. Scorpio is the most sensual sign of the zodiac, he is a master of beautiful courtship and romantic gestures. His sexual energy flows over the edge, so few people manage to cope with this raging flow of passion.
- Sagittarius (November 23 - December 22): level of madness - 50%!
Sagittarians proudly carry the banner of justice and truth all their lives. And it’s better not to interfere with this! Nothing can outrage them more than a restriction of personal freedom. In addition, Sagittarians are easily fired up by ideas that sometimes blind their minds.
- Capricorn (December 23 - January 20): level of craziness - 60%!
Capricorns are workaholics! They shoulder the most difficult tasks and tackle them with passion. Capricorns are not averse to showing off their intelligence and professionalism. If they are at the head of any business, you should not expect any concessions.Capricorns stick to their guns, even if they are wrong. This feature extends to personal life: the partner will always be on a tight rein. Their madness lies in the desire to keep everything under control.
- Aquarius (January 21 - February 19): level of craziness - 20%!
Aquarius is like a crazy professor who is used to living in his illusions. It's very easy to fool, and people are used to using it. That is why this zodiac sign often becomes a victim of scammers, and simply those who are looking for easy prey.
- Pisces (February 20 - March 20): level of madness - 10%!
Pisces are the least crazy among the other zodiac signs. They are calm and peaceful, you can always rely on them. Pisces are ready to sacrifice their interests just to brighten up someone's loneliness. These character traits make them the most thoughtful, wise and empathetic.
Each holiday is good and interesting in its own way. But usually at any holiday it all comes down to the fact that almost 99% of the attention is paid to the hero of the occasion: the hero of the day or the newlyweds or the birthday boy. What about the guests? They came to have fun and have fun! We haven't forgotten about them, and have prepared an interesting game block: a comic astrological forecast for guests at the anniversary. This forecast can be presented in different ways. The most obvious option is for an astrologer to come out and read out his forecast for each guest or zodiac sign. A gypsy can also come out, but here questions arise - where is the gypsy so smart that she understands astrology? Therefore, a gypsy would not be very appropriate in such a block. The third option is reading astrological forecast the presenter himself. This is in case it is not possible to make a scene with changing clothes. There may be other options, but they are not so obvious. How to display this number is up to you. Below we will provide you with several comic forecasts, which you can use for anniversaries.
Comic horoscope 1.
The first version of the comic horoscope is written by the guests themselves. Everything here is quite simple, but interesting. Everyone knows a game called missing adjectives. And in this game we will skip the names of the guests. You need to come up with a forecast that does not include names. Then, at the celebration, you ask the hero of the day to take turns calling the names of all the guests who are present at the celebration. And enter the names into the forecast one by one. Next, read out what happened.
Example of a letter with guest names missing:
“Today (the date of the anniversary, the stars predict for us a great festive evening! It will end differently for everyone, but everyone will be happy. At 19 o’clock Jupiter will eclipse the sun and at this time (guest’s name) will go to rest under the table. Two minutes later, when the sun will emerge from under the shadow of Jupiter (guest's name) and join the vacationer under the table.
At 19.25 the moon will appear in the sky. At that very moment (guest's name) with the words - I'm going to sleep! – falls face first into a plate of salad. When the Ursa Minor appears in the sky, (guest's name) will begin to search warm place for relaxation and will find it on the large and cozy chest of (guest’s name).
As soon as the clock strikes 20 o'clock, a musical break will begin. And (guest's name) will be the first to go out onto the dance floor and show a master class. After his dance (name of guest) shouting - Bravo! – will run onto the stage and perform a wild dance with elements of striptease. When (guest's name) sees this, he will scream - oh my God! This is the best thing I've seen in my life!
In twenty minutes. When it appears in the sky Big Dipper, the dancing guests will calm down and sit down in their seats. At the same time (guest's name) will shout loudly - I demand the continuation of the banquet! - He will drink a glass of vodka and carefully lay his head on the table, as if on a pillow.
The evening will end with all the stars appearing in the sky, and under their influence (guest’s name) and (guest’s name) will sing a duet song - Mom Luda, come on, come on, come on! And the rest of the guests will film them on their phones to show the clip tomorrow morning and make fun of them!”
Here's an option you can try. You can change the text or come up with your own. It is important to remember here that all people are different, and if you know that someone might be offended, then it is better not to include their name in the forecast.
Comic forecast 2.
The following forecast is for guests the morning after the holiday. This forecast is called the hangover forecast!
And so, dear guests! Just a moment of attention. Today we all go out and have fun. But none of you thinks about the consequences, doesn’t think about what will happen to each of you tomorrow morning. But our astrologer already knows everything, and will tell you what will happen to each of you tomorrow morning.
Aries - the morning will start very badly for you. Approaching the mirror, you will see that your rounded horns have straightened and are preventing you from going through the doors.
Taurus - don’t think that if you drank before the holiday Activated carbon, then everything will be fine with you. You will see this coal again, and you will understand that everything is very bad.
Gemini – don’t be surprised, but in the morning you will wake up with a person who is exactly like you!
Cancers - and you will learn to quickly crawl backwards from each glass, remembering this evening and your screams - pour it, drink it!
Leos - in the morning you will make such a roar that your neighbors will each bring you bottles of cold mineral water.
Virgos – don’t go to the mirror in the morning. Otherwise, you risk not recognizing yourself and fainting out of fear.
Libra - tomorrow morning will begin with you weighing and figuring out how much you can drink normal person, and how much you drank.
Scorpio – as soon as you wake up, you will immediately have a hangover. Otherwise, you will sting everyone with your sting all day long.
Sagittarius – it’s better to leave money in advance for tomorrow. Otherwise, you will shoot them at passers-by because they have a hangover.
Capricorns - a surprise awaits you in the morning - you will have new horns.
Aquarius - in the morning you will have guests who will want to continue the banquet with you.
Pisces - and you will be ashamed of this evening and your behavior. All tomorrow you will be silent, like a fish.
Horoscope 3.
And this horoscope is the shortest in the world! But this makes it even funnier and the guests will definitely like it. And so, let's look:
Horoscope 4.
And this is a rather bold horoscope, it is erotic! But nevertheless, it’s funny and the guests will like it. So that this horoscope goes off with a bang. Do this:
- name your zodiac sign and guests under this sign come to you. Romantic music turns on, they dance, and then you read out the horoscope:
Horoscope 5.
And another horoscope - alcoholic!
The same can be done in a special way. You name the zodiac sign and the guests under that sign stand up. They pour glasses and you read out their horoscope, after which these guests drink. It turns out interesting and funny:
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