Holiday March 8th scenario is funny. Room decoration, costumes
(The song “For our ladies” by Trofim plays)
We remember wonderful moments
What have you given us in life?
So without delay
Let's start the concert for our ladies!
We are grateful for the smiles
And for the heavenly features,
For the mistakes and mistakes
You forgive out of kindness.
For giving excitement,
That they rise again and again
And Divinity and inspiration,
And life, and tears, and love!
(The intro of the song "SONG OF THE MERRY OLD WOMEN».
New Russian grandmothers appear, sing a song)
SONG OF THE MERRY OLD WOMEN
Music Vladimir Shainsky Lyrics Mikhail Nozhkin
We are the people with our skills
Yes, he rewarded me with fun,
To lift your spirits
I have equipped you to help!
Chorus:
We're a year old - it doesn't matter!
If the soul is young!
It's not a problem for us!
If the soul is young!
Since childhood I have not been afraid of blood,
I will heal all of your wounds.
And if I laugh -
I'll want everyone around me to laugh.
Chorus.
I have a keen eye -
I will make out all your enemies.
Well, when I whistle at once,
I will put the army on the ground.
Chorus.
Can we fire the cannon?
Sew, wash, cook dinner!
Well, what kind of old ladies are we?
The three of us are 300 years old!
Chorus.
Matryona: Good evening, dear ladies and people. Check out how cool I am today..a..cool in general, I’m already enjoying myself! And this is my old friend?..
Flower: ... oh, Matryon, how hard it is to be a real woman these days...
Matryona: oh, Flower, don’t talk. And you look really cool today, that’s okay! (Flower howls) What is it?
Flower: I got up this morning, sat down in front of the mirror, laid out my makeup in front of me... and fell asleep...
Matryona ? No, I went to the beauty salon today. Look what I'm like today..!!
Flower: oh, wow...what a beautiful lipstick you have!
Matryona : the lipstick is super-resistant, once you apply it you can never wipe it off, even if you go to bed with it... by God...
Flower: oooh
Matryona : Fathers, and the shoes, and the shoes...what is a Flower?
Flower: this is Iconika!
Matryona: ahh..that’s what..
Flower : shoes for the dead man! oh, for the fan! and look, I bought myself an anti-aging mask..ba..
Matryona : I immediately looked 40 years younger! No, you know, I struggle with wrinkles differently. right now..iron Rowenta, ironed it once and the wrinkles were gone!
Tsvetotsek : oh, you know, I already forgot about wrinkles.
Matryonaa: why is this??
Flower: sclerosis, the best medicine...hihihi....
Matryona : Flower, do you know why we even gathered??
Flower: nooo
Matryona: ahh..about our professional holiday!
Flower : janitor's day????
Matryona : Why is Janitor’s Day...??! I’m actually talking about a women’s holiday!
Flower :ahh..I remember, of course, I remember about the women’s holiday! Now our men will congratulate us! What do I look like??
Matryona : Lord forbid...i.e. I want to say super-stupid! Well guys, we are listening to you!
(Men come out singing)
We must tell you honestly
We need girls more than life.
Well, who will tell us that spring is coming,
Well, who will deprive us of peace and sleep?
Who will awaken love in the soul,
Who will make you believe in your dream again,
Who will kiss us, at least sometimes?
Who will share life with us once and for all?
Chorus: (grandmothers sing)
How can you live without us?
Well, tell me, tell me.
Where would you be without us?
Yes, just nowhere.
No wonder all centuries
We are carried in their arms
And we are ready to lend our hands again.
(they bring chairs to the grandmothers, they sit down)
Man : Let me congratulate you on Women's Day, and wish you to always remain as young as you are today..
Flower: Are you kidding me or what? I don’t understand..
Man2 :It shouldn’t be like that! dear grandmothers!
Matryona: by the way girls!
Flower: ...and not that expensive...
Man" :okay, our dear girls, on this day we would like to wish you intelligence, a lot of beauty..and also..
Matryona : wait, wait... what are you trying to say, that we are two unfortunate, terrible fools or something...??!
Man3 : it has to be like this! Our dear ladies, we congratulate you on the holiday and wish you good health!
Matryona: now, that's better!(The men leave) ________________________________________________
Matryona: Flower, what I wanted to tell you...
Flower: FAQ?
Matryona : Do you know that Maria has a granddaughter?
Flower: What are you talking about?!
Matryona : Yesterday I was born, by God.
Flower: Bah!
Matryona : Such an ugly girl!
Flower : It's nothing! It's nothing! Ugly things, they get prettier later. And beauties, on the contrary, turn stupid.
Matryona: Or maybe you were a beauty when you were a child..
Flower: Again! Stop it Matryona, let’s announce the number: on stage ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
(scenery: park, bench, Flower comes out, sits on the bench, later Matryona comes out)
Flower: Why did you come out with a guitar??
Matryona: Yes, I want to congratulate you personally..
Flower: personally...well, nice...will you be the only one to congratulate?
Matryona: no._______________________________________________________________
Flower :Okay, now, wait, I’ll take a pose..
Matryona: Fathers...you also have a congratulatory pose...
Flower : Well, what about... (hit parade)
L. Vaikule: Vernissage
Once in our village
I met you by chance
You drank kvass right at the kiosk.
I fell in love with you
For your ADIDAS suit
And there are 3 stripes on the emblem.
There is no end to the chance meeting
We hugged on the porch
Promising to love each other...
The yellow moon was shining
I realized that I was in love
I realized that I was in love
ETC.: May this March day
No one will be lonely
Let them give flowers to women,
And let the cats sing songs.
March 8th every year
I congratulate all the people
And this song is a joke to you
Performed for lovely ladies...
Boris Moiseev comes out
(behaves capriciously, mannered)
We are nobody to each other and that makes it easier
Doesn't hurt, doesn't pinch and doesn't drive you crazy
I came here to see you for a festive evening
To wish you all love and goodness.
I want you to be happy, alive,
If a bullet flies, it always passes by you,
And I want to tell you that you are all beautiful here,
But I’m in a hurry, I’m leaving now!
Ex: I won’t, I won’t eat your vinaigrette now,
And I will not and will not even eat your salad,
I'm passing through here, and I have a ticket in my hands,
I will soon leave for the city of Leningrad!
Alla Pugacheva
To the tune of the Song about a Real Colonel
Oh, what a capricious Boriska you are,
Get out of my sight quickly
You're acting like a radish
What should I do, I’ll sing for two,
Etc.: Let the songs ring loudly
Today is our holiday!
Happy March 8th, girls
Come out, let's start dancing!
Flower: oh, Matryona, thank you very much... and this is not Boris Maesya’s son..?? (Matryona looks amazing eyes on a flower)
Matryona: Flower, today is a holiday, but you need to write an explanation why you were late for class yesterday Chinese language??
Flower: damn it (in Chinese, shukai here)
Matryona: why...who should I pinch...??
Flower: nothing... it's in Chinese... damn it
Matryona: okay, write an explanatory note, and I’ll come back later
(the audience and Flower write a letter) Why am I late (explanatory)
Beginning of the form
End of form
Why am I late (explanatory)
Yesterday when I was walkingfor Chinese lessons, suddenly fell from a tree on me crazy policeman . I screamed like underground rhinoceros and lost consciousness. I woke up in Karaganda and said: Take mefor Chinese lessons, I really need. But for some reason they took me awayV State Duma , and from there I walked until he gave me a lift jet jalopy . That's why I was late yesterday.
Matryona : Flower, how come you got into this... Oh, look, there’s some kind of gathering there, let’s go and have a look
(2 people in a bathrobe and start advertising the w-mobile)
HOST: Consider that best gift– this book is the lot of librarians. You and I know the correct answer. Fur coat? No, take it higher. Well? As dear Leonid Arkadyevich would say: aw-to-mo-bi-l!!! And so, now a new concept car will be presented to your attention... But I’m silent, I’m silent: word to the creators!
Two young men in white coats come out.
CONSTRUCTOR 1: Dear friends! Actually, we planned the presentation at the Geneva Motor Show, but for the sake of the holiday (international women's day) we’ll tell you some insider information.
CONSTRUCTOR 2: And so, let Mikhail Prokhorov bite his elbows with his E-mobile, we present the first women's store J-MOBILE!
CONSTRUCTOR 1: Main characteristics. The J-MOBILE, like the hostess, refuels with one glass of gasoline.
CONSTRUCTION 2: Unlike a regular car, a section for lipstick appeared - where the cigarette lighter was. The cigarette lighter itself was removed to avoid an unpleasant burning sensation.
CONSTRUCTION 1: If desired, the J-MOBILE can be painted with henna or hydrogen peroxide, and the thresholds can also be increased.
CONSTRUCTOR 2: Important point: the car is a chameleon. Automatically changes color to match your handbag and boots.
CONSTRUCTOR 1: F-MOBILE - it doesn’t skid on the road, it just wags its bumper.
CONSTRUCTOR 2: The Z-MOBILE radio tape recorder fundamentally does not pick up chanson, and automatically replaces it with your favorite hits.
CONSTRUCTION 1: THE F-MOBILE has a disk with compliments. This was done on purpose to respond to the cry: “Where are you going, you fool?” - you heard: “Good girl, you’re doing everything right.”
CONSTRUCTOR 2: Every year the J-MOBILE needs not only pendant repairs, but also a new necklace and ring.
CONSTRUCTOR 1: The J-MOBILE has one drawback, it looks too good on traffic police photo radar images.
CONSTRUCTOR 2: The J-MOBILE steering wheel is shaped like Brad Pitt’s torso, which makes you don’t want to let go of it.
CONSTRUCTION 1: The steering wheel automatically gives you a manicure, and the gas pedal gives you a pedicure and a light foot massage.
CONSTRUCTION 2: The machine senses where there is new collection or discounts and it slows down there itself.
CONSTRUCTOR 1: Soft toy, a pink pillow and a velvet cloth are already included in the basic package.
CONSTRUCTION 2: There is a function to search for a lost earring in the salon.
CONSTRUCTION 1: The vehicle inspection certificate is also discount card and a subscription to the solarium.
CONSTRUCTION 2: The car is washed at least twice with shower gel with violet extract.
CONSTRUCTION 1: There is not only a rear view mirror, but also full height in the cabin.
CONSTRUCTION 2: To avoid creating a negative image of the owner, the car is equipped with an automatic parking function.
CONSTRUCTOR 1: Well, that's probably all. Does anyone in the room have any questions?
PERSON FROM THE AUDIENCE: You described everything so colorfully. Does your car have any disadvantages?
CONSTRUCTOR 2: In our opinion, there is only one: the trunk of the J-MOBILE is made according to the principle of a handbag.
PERSON FROM THE AUDIENCE: That is?
CONSTRUCTOR 2: It has everything you need, you just won’t find what you need.
CONSTRUCTOR 1: Thank you! Wait for sales! Coming soon to AVON and ORIFLAME catalogs!
Bow.
Matryona: Fathers, Flower, I also want a mobile phone like this...
Flower: hee..I’ve had J-lisaped for 15 years now...and I drive it fine...
Matryona : Well, let’s go, you’ll show me, while ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ will perform on stage - (they leave)
Flower: Well, what do you like about my car? Is it a car?
Matryona : You know, flower: Not really. I have a Cossack, it’s enough for me. The engine doesn’t make any noise at all.
Flower: Why is it so quiet?
Matryona : Why, your ears are pinched between your knees!
Flower : Wow. On the stage_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Flower: Oh, Matryona, after all, we’re great for deciding to go on patrol with you at night! Defending your beloved village is a sacred cause, especially since today is such a holiday, you never know... you have to be on your guard (takes up a gun)!
Matryona: Don't talk, don't talk!
Flower: Oh, anyway, is it really so scary now to walk in the village in the evenings?
Matryona: Good, that's it! You are a maniac yourself, Flower!
Flower: No, I'm a killer of maniacs! MIG 76!
Matryona: I’m looking at you right now, it’s true what they say is that the whole village is afraid of you, the whole village!
Flower: Is she afraid of someone?
Matryona: Why aren’t they afraid of you? Yesterday evening, what did she fire from a gun? You might say she was a hooligan? Did she shoot at the banks?
Flower: So the man was digging cabbage in the field!
Matryona: Bah!
Flower: Yes!
Matryona: oh, look at the young people coming... and how they coo... come on quickly... quickly into the bushes...
(skit)
a short and thin man named VASYOK comes onto the stage. He sits down on a chair. He is wearing a cap with a flower and a fashionable country jacket. He has a grass stalk in his teeth and a small flower in his hands. The song begins to play: “Oh, you’re on the mountain there.”
AUTHOR: Paramount Ascension Pictures presents (pause) Feature Film: “He Came Again”
His beloved Marusya comes out to see Vaska (it could be a man in women's clothing) and sits down next to him.
VASYOK: Hello, Marusya!
MARUSYA: Hello, Vasek!
VASYOK (gives a flower): This is for you!
MARUSYA: Oh, thank you!
They both look up a little in awe. Vasek carefully places his hand on her shoulder. She winces.
VASYOK: Marusya... will you marry me?
MARUSYA: Oh, I don’t know. This is so unexpected! I need to think.
VASYOK: How long can you think? I proposed to you six years ago.
MARUSYA: Well, I don’t know. If you think it's time, then I agree.
The song is still going on. They sigh together with smiles on their faces.
MARUSYA (after a pause): Vasya! Who do you want to get first: a cat or a dog?
VASYOK: Well, maybe we’ll have the first child after all?
MARUSYA: Vasya! (pause) Who do you want first: a girl or a girl?
Vasek slowly turned and looked at Marusya. Then he turned back just as slowly.
VASYOK: (thoughtfully) I don’t know. (pause) Probably a girl. And you?
MARUSYA: I don’t care. (pause) Vasya, will you always love me?
VASEK: I will love you to the end.
MARUSYA (after a pause): Vasya, it’s already late. Take me home.
Our heroes are leaving. The music stops.
AUTHOR: Ten years have passed.
Vasya comes out and sits on a chair. Five seconds later, Marusya comes out with buckets. He puts them on the floor.
MARUSYA: Why are you sitting? Why are you sitting, I ask you? Have you cleaned the yard? Did you feed the chickens? I have to do everything myself.
VASYOK: Why are you screaming like that? I'll do everything now.
MARUSYA: I scream because even on the eighth of March, you do nothing for me. And you said that you will love me until the end.
VASYOK: So the end has already come.
END
Flower : oh, so much romance... that...
Matryona: and what are you doing with the bag...are you really going there...??!!hihi..
Flower : No...I’ll fly to Hawaii...
Matryona: what a Hawaii... it's a holiday... and especially you don't know what the weather is like there... ahh... what if it rains... snow
Flower : Matryon, what are you... it’s always warm there... and what’s the weather like for our holiday today....??
(weather forecast)
Matryona: Dear comrades, we are starting the weather forecast for tomorrow...
(The flower dances and hums the melody “Emmanuelle”)
So, tomorrow, according to the Hydrometeorological Center of Russia, it is expected...
Flower: Ah!
Matryona: What is this again?
Flower : Something hit me in the back.
Matryona: She jumped, the old nymphet...
Flower: No, when it hits my back, it means rain.
Matryona: Do you understand where it hurts?
Flower: Here, in the upper third...
Matryona: Tomorrow there will be rain in the east of the country...
Flower: Ah!
Matryona: What is this again?
Flower: Something snapped inside me.
Matryona : Thunderstorm possible.
Flower: No, look, it’s gone.
Matryona : There may not be a thunderstorm.
Flower: Do you hear, grandma, scratch your back, something is hurting.
Matryona : Tomorrow there may be a cyclone to the north, an anticyclone to the south, an assault front to the east, midnight in Petropavlovsk-Kamchatsky!
Flower : Hey, scratch it in the southwest. Something is aching there. Probably a change in pressure
Matryona : Tomorrow in the black earth regions of the country the pressure will drop to 40 degrees inwards, to 40 milligrams... milliliters... oh well... millimeters of mercury.
Flower : For some reason my nose is itchy, probably because of the drinking.
Matryona: Highs in the 40s and lows are expected over the weekend. 9 in the morning there is complete fog, dry conditions and wind. All!
Flower : No, not all. Rain and snow, ice, wind gusts up to 15 m/s, visibility 20 meters are expected.
Matryona: Fathers, how did you know everything?
Flower : It was announced on the radio in the morning.
Flower: So now the 6th grade students will tell us everything.
6th grade skit
______________________________________________________________________________
Matryona : where is that one? Have you seen my jerboa with glasses?
(Flower appears)
Why are you always late?
Flower : faq, faq I was backstage, watching.
Matryona: Who?
Flower : Like whom? Yes, their beauties. Just look at them......(ditties 5th grade
Matryona: What do you have again?
Flower : Yes, the crossword puzzle doesn’t work. Here are 2 words and it doesn’t work
Matryona: Let me help.
Flower : here 13 horizontally is a bad habit.
Matryona : Whose bad habit is it?
Is it my bad habit? (crying)
Flower: What do you have to do with it?
Matryona : I have a bad habit. I've been suffering for 5 years now.
Flower : What happened then?
Matryona : Yes, as soon as I wake up, I brush my teeth.
Flower: It's nothing. This is fine.
Matryona : Who is fine. And do you know. How many times do I wake up during the night? - normal.
Flower : Doesn't fit anyway.
Matryona : Look eighth vertically. Starts with the letter I...
Flower And this is a game. 5th grade on stage
Flower: I have happy news. I was chosen as the best fan of the year.
Matryona : Well, that’s right, now you’re sick, now with something else, now with this, now with a leaking roof.
Flower : You started teasing me again.
Matryona: Well, we need to finish this matter, otherwise you will get sick again.
Meet
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Flower:
You don’t look well, Matryona.
Matryona:
Better look at yourself, old crow!
Flower:
You look pale, lethargic and boiled like pasta!
Well, get ready for work and defense.
Flower:. I have one recipe, we will teach men how to bake pies.
Matryona: Regular apple pie recipe
(especially for men who are preparing a surprise on March 8)
Flower: Take 10 eggs from the refrigerator, put the remaining seven on the table and wipe the floor, next time be extremely careful. Take a basin and break the eggs into its corner, pour their contents into the basin. Wipe the table from yolks, be careful. So, we have 5 yolks in the basin.
Matryona: Now take the mixer, insert the beaters and start beating the yolks. Try inserting the beaters again... now until you hear a click. Whisk.
Wash your face, neck, arms and back, pour the yolk out of your ears.
As a result, you have two beaten yolks left in the bowl, which is exactly what we need for the pie.
Flower: It's time to get the flour. Cover the kitchen walls and ceiling with newspaper and cover the furniture with some fabric. Pour 200 g of flour into a glass, then pour into a bowl with yolks; carefully collect the remaining 800 g back into the bag.
Matryona: After making sure that the ceiling and wallpaper are covered with newspaper, start whisking.
Flower: Take a shower. Take 4 large apples and a sharp knife, first run to the pharmacy and buy iodine, a patch and a bandage. It's time to start peeling the apples.
Matryona: Process thumb iodine and bandage it. Cut the apples into cubes and remember, we will need 2 apples, so you can only eat half during the cooking process. Treat your index and middle fingers with iodine.
Flower: Throw the only remaining and already chopped apple into a basin, pick up the fallen pieces from the floor, and rinse them.
Matryona: Beat everything with a mixer. Wash the refrigerator, then it dries - you can’t wash it off.
Flower: Now pour the contents into the frying pan and place in the oven. Wait an hour and if you don’t see any noticeable changes, turn on the oven. When you wake up, don’t call “01”, just open the windows and oven.
Matryona: After everything you have experienced, with a sense of accomplishment, go to the store and buy a cake.
Flower: Come on, Matryona, we need to buy a cake, otherwise now the men will take everything apart, but in the meantime, meet
Diva Alla Pugacheva with the unfading hit “A Million Scarlet Roses”:
There lived a magician alone.
I bought a nice house.
Created a greenhouse -
I grew red roses.
To the glorious women's day
Raised a million
But not loving either one,
He used roses:
A million, a million, a million red roses
You are carrying, you are carrying, you are carrying to Privoz
Who is in love, who is in love, who is in love and seriously
I gave half a thousand for five scarlet roses!
The holiday was successful -
He sold a lot of flowers.
He shoveled money like a ladle,
I just didn't become any happier.
Let him ruin you
But you were happier:
You bought these roses
Gave it to your sweetheart!
Let someone grow a million scarlet roses,
Let him carry it, let him carry it, let him carry it to Privoz:
You're in love, you're in love, you're seriously in love
You will give, You will give everything for five red roses!!!
Flower: Matryon!
Matryona: Aw!
Flower : What do I want to ask?
Matryona : A-ha, ask, ask dear
Flower: Is this what you thought yesterday when we were offered to perform at this school?
Matryona : Hey, heh! My dear, I didn’t think anything. What can I think, anyway, they won’t pay us anything here. So at least we will be a gift for the holiday that is dear to them!
Flower: Meet another gift. On the stage gr. "Factory"
to the tune “Fish” from the repertoire for performance by a ladies’ group.
1 TO.
When spring comes again,
The streams are ringing, the snowdrifts are melting!
Together with nature on earth
The weak floor also blossoms!
CHORUS:
Oh, Lyuli, my Lyuli!
Oh, Lyuli, my Lyuli!
The spring winds have blown!
2 K.
Well, why are we worse than these stars?
In your province, girls!
And we have our own producer!
They need to look for something like this!
Don't let tours threaten us!
And show business has no chance for us!
But we know one thing for sure:
We are the best in this world!
CHORUS:
Oh, Lyuli, my Lyuli!
Oh, Lyuli, my Lyuli!
The spring winds have blown!
LOSS
3 K.
And on this March day
We sincerely congratulate you!
And reach any heights
We wish you well in all matters!
Let your eyes glow
Let your face shine with a smile!
And may fate give you
One day I'll meet a goldfish!
CHORUS:
Oh, Lyuli, my Lyuli!
Oh, Lyuli, my Lyuli!
The spring winds have blown!
4 K.
And we wish you more
Hear compliments more often
And may you always be
Much better than your competitors!
And we don't need anything
Just more moments like this!
And even though we are not in the Kremlin now,
But we really look forward to applause from you!
Here we shine like the sun!
Congratulations! Congratulations!
And we will shine for you today
We wish you brighter than any stars!
Oh, Lyuli, my Lyuli!
Oh, Lyuli, my Lyuli!
The spring winds have blown!
Matryona: Flower, oh, what a song! I'm crazy!
Flower: And I was so turned on, so turned on! You know, I watched a movie yesterday, there were two such men! (at this time R.V. Delikanov and V.V. Pitreev come out) There they are, those from the TV!
couplets from the repertoire of Bandurin and Vashukov
We are funny grannies
We'll sing ditties for you.
Performed by grandmothers, get your hands ready.
1st:
When I was young I was
A very prominent girl...
2nd:
Something's looking at you
I can't believe this!
1st:
I used to perform in the choir,
I sang a song...
2nd:
We thought it was a dog
It's howling at the moon!(clap their hands in a place with the audience)
1st:
I had 4 husbands with registration….
2nd:
And there were 4 more on privatization(clap their hands in a place with the audience)
1st:
On the path of pensioners
Grandfather was walking with gray hair...
2nd:
When he saw you,
He ran away like a young man!(clap their hands in a place with the audience)
1st:
I'm going to a beauty contest
We made a sign...
2nd:
Explain to the people
Why are you a technician?(clap their hands in a place with the audience)
1st:
I'm waiting for this spring day
Prince on a horse...
2nd:
I was daydreaming! For you
Grandfather will wear a vest!
Both:
We've come to the end of the ditty,
Clap your hands
In the meantime, let's go dance
With that good guy!
(bow)
Matryona: Oh, men, respect!
Flower: We are so excited in our souls that we are now going to sing for the men!
Matryona : Listen, do you like ditties?
Flower: I love it!
Matryona: Can you sing them?
Flower: And talk and sing!
One - and, two - and I got shortchanged -
Nowadays there are men.
I'll be like Bandurin.
Matryona: Well, I’m like Vashukov.
Flower: Please, people, pay attention to us!
Together: Let's sing from female face women's suffering!
Chorus : We are not too lazy to sing ditties,
Because it's Women's Day.
Guys, attention -
Women's suffering!
1. Every year on March 8
The husband carries a bouquet in his hand.
2. And where will you place it?
Are these ficus plants in a pot?
1. My husband will give gifts again today
Toilet water.
2. That’s why it doesn’t happen
No guests, no flies sometimes!
1. My baby is bald
Well, where should we put him?
2. When there is no mirror
You'll be looking at your bald head
1. They came to match me
On a gray mare
2. They took your chests,
And they forgot you
1. I am a foreigner
Found it through an ad.
2. You live abroad with him
In sunny Turkmenistan.
1. Darling is walking along the road,
Goes smiling
2. It turned out that he inserted teeth -
The mouth won't close!
1.My dear tractor driver
Well, I'm a milkmaid
2. He is in fuel oil, you are in manure,
You are a sweet couple.
1. I can Matryon you
Crush with morality.
2. Do you hear, don’t get angry,
Kettle with spiral.
1. Oh, you, fashion, fashion, fashion,
What have you brought to this point?
2. Even Grandma Lukerya
I went to church in shorts.
1. At school you have girls -
Smart girls, beauties!
2. And I know that for boys,
Love this!
1. We wish everyone good health,
We wish you happiness
2. Happy first spring holiday
Hearty congratulations
1. So that you know sorrows
Even a slight shadow of sadness,
2. So that your eyes always shine,
And not only on this day!
Together: We are not too lazy to sing ditties,
Because it's Women's Day.
We sang suffering
Thank you for your attention.
Dance Nachalka__________________________________________________________________________
Flower: Teacher, teacher.
Matryona: How often do you sing this?
Flower: I want a song for the teacher.
Matryona: Please, at the behest of the pike, at Flower’s desire Song “All the Flowers”
Matryona: Listen to Tsvetik, that's what I'll say.
Flower : Tell me, tell me, honey.
Matryona: If deputies have a sad life, their salaries are high. But these teachers have a fun life, but the salary is small. Look how funny they are.
Matryona : So let's continue to have fun. Girls, come out and dance!
Dance
Matryona: We congratulate our dear women
After all, you are beautiful, like spring itself!
May fate protect you all from troubles,
And life will be beautiful and long!
Flower: Let there be everything in it - a sea of smiles,
Love and happiness - a whole ocean!
Many amazing stories
And congratulations from distant countries!
Matryona: Ambassador from the island of Sicily. Chapter Sicilian mafia Antonio Zverino (Anatoly Zverev, for example) with a translator (translator).
Ambassador of Sicily: Drunk morning because of Stolini Gulini, Poganini, bikini!
Translator: Greetings to everyone sitting in this festive hall!
Ambassador: Drunk in the morning, brainy, sick, goner, hungry, smart, felicita!
Translator: I greet all my friends and colleagues present here!
Ambassador: Drunk in the morning striptease, cretino, bambino, gulako immoral.
Translator: And also those who couldn’t come today!
Ambassador: Mia problem, consensus and body to the hairdryer.
Translator: On this day we will not talk about political and everyday problems.
Ambassador: Mia Rozhe Interesto
Translator: I would like to ask.
Ambassador: Bellisimo belly humanoid?
Translator: Who gave the joy of this holiday?
Ambassador: Mafioso Terazini?
Translator: State Duma?
Ambassador: Papa Putino Cardinale?
Translator: Our president?
Ambassador: Know, know, know!
Translator: No, no, no!
Ambassador: Santa, Maria, Maradona, Felicita!
Translator: Friends, you gave yourself this wonderful holiday!
Ambassador: Mia presente Santa Maria..
Translator: I want to wish you...
Ambassador: Angino, griposo, gastrito, miacardo and radiculito
Translator: Good health!
Ambassador: Kolosale ponimanto respect!
Translator: Mutual understanding in the team and family.
Ambassador: Grandiose business!
Translator: Prosperity in life!
Ambassador: And drunk, drunk, drunk!
Translator: And always be happy!
He bows and leaves.
(Costume of the Ambassador of Sicily: a long dark cloak, buttoned tightly, on top of which is a long white thin scarf (muffler), a dark hat with a wide brim, a cigar, dark glasses.)
Grandmothers: We came to you for an hour to congratulate you on March 8th! We wish you much happiness, until we meet again! Happy holiday, dear teachers!
There are no men in your team, but you need to somehow congratulate yourself and your loved ones on March 8th? We will give you many ideas on how to spend fun party in a women's team on their own, and without the participation of the male half of humanity. A holiday in an all-female group can also be very interesting if you prepare not only congratulations on March 8, but also funny scenes, funny games and competitions, ditties, riddles, funny questions with answers, quizzes, humorous performances and remade songs. Our full script corporate party on March 8 in a women's team without men can be supplemented with other competitions for Women's Day at your discretion.
Scenario for a corporate party on March 8 in a women's team without men
By the way, a themed party could be a good idea to spend March 8th in a group. For example, in retro style, or 80s style, in the form of a masquerade, ball, rock party, with an appropriate dress code.
What you will need for this fun scenario:
Competitions for women's teams on March 8 without the participation of men
1 competition. Whose subject?
The essence of the competition: one participant comes out, she is taken aside, and without her the presenter collects a subject from the women from the team. It could be watches, rings, beads, belts, phones or phone cases, any jewelry, jewelry, maybe even a shoe! Our participant must guess where whose object is and conclude whether she knows her colleagues well.
2 competition. Mistresses.
At least 2 participants take part in this competition. But more is possible. They will need to complete comic tasks to test their speed and ability to be a good housewife. For example, there may be such tasks:
Etc. The most agile female participant and hostess wins.
3 competition. Dance.
They call two participants who know how to dance the waltz and invite them to dance to the music. But the music begins to change in style, then rap, then jazz,
………………………………………
4 competition. Fruit temptation.
You need to buy fresh strawberries, bananas, apples, oranges, kiwi, lemon and other fruits. Also cucumber or potato. Cut everything into large slices and mix in two bowls.
…………………………………………….
5 competition. Characteristic.
The head of the organization characterizes each colleague briefly on a piece of paper. Next, the leaves are mixed.
………………………………………………………..
6 competition. Try laughing.
They call one of those who want to take part in the competition. She goes backstage, and the presenter gives her giant leggings, which she must put on over her clothes. …………………………………………………….
7 beauty contest.
All women in your team can participate in the beauty contest.
Comic nominations:
1.) Longest legs
2.) Longest nails
3.) Longest eyelashes
4.) Biggest breasts
5.) Biggest butt
6.) The thinnest waist
Etc.
The meaning of the competition is simple: girls are given cardboard numbers of participants on a ribbon, or have round numbers glued to their backs. You need to walk beautifully along the catwalk, demonstrating all the nominations. The winners receive small prizes.
The owner of long legs: tights, long nails - varnish, long eyelashes– mascara, big breasts – beads, big butts – a pillow under the butt with buckwheat, thin waist- belt.
Game: If...
The presenter prepares two boxes, in one box there are pieces of paper with the beginning of phrases, in the other box - the end of phrases. The presenter gives each woman to draw 1 piece of paper from each box. And then read them in order. Fun questions with answers that fit together.
Examples (beginnings of phrases):
1. If I were our boss, then...
2. If I knew the President personally, then...
……………………………………..
Examples: (ending phrases):
1. Then I would be the happiest person in the world.
2. Then I wouldn’t work here anymore.
……………………………….
A scene for March 8th for a women's corporate party based on the theme: Three girls under the window
Three women - three girls - take part in the sketch. Who sit under the window on a bench and gossip about this and that.
Presenter: Three girls under the window chatted in the evening, talking about this and that.
1 girl: If only I could get drunk now
Presenter: One girl says,
…………………………………………
A sketch for March 8th for a women’s corporate party based on the theme: I’m writing to you, what more?
Text of the letter:
We write to you, what else?
What more can we say?
Today at a corporate party,
Of course we'll have a drink.
…………………………………..
A comic scene with dressing up: a declaration of love to women
A woman dressed as a man comes out. The costume is designed to make it funny; the man is supposed to be macho.
Macho: Good evening, dear ladies!
I am a macho man, a conqueror of women's hearts.
It will be fun with me, just kick-ass!
I won’t let you get bored and sad,
Don't believe me? I'm worth a lot.
All the socialites were after me,
……………………………………….
Ditties for corporate parties on March 8
1.) We are sporty babes
We love to sing and dance.
And we'll put on sneakers,
You definitely won't catch up with us!
2.) I have three boyfriends,
I'm fed up with attention.
I can't choose someone
I'd rather be alone.
………………………………..
Riddles for a corporate party on March 8 (for adults, with a trick)
1.) Above the knee, below the navel, there is a hole - a hand can easily fit through. (guess: pocket)
2.) It can be long, it can be short, it can be thick, it can be thin. He pokes his nose around everywhere, he's called by three letters. (guess: nose)
…………………………………
Song-adaptation to the tune: “Let them run clumsily...” for March 8
Verse 1:
Let all men run
In the morning to the shops
Buy bouquets of flowers.
On this day we are goddesses,
Queens, princesses,
Be ready for whims, man!
…………………………………………….
End of introductory fragment. For purchase full version scenes go to cart. After payment, the material will become available for download on the page with the material, and via a link that will be sent to you by e-mail.
Price: 299 R ub. Promotion
How to make a festive concert on March 8 in a kindergarten or school truly bright and interesting? It's simple - you need to diversify the script with fun, funny and cool scenes. Exactly comic scenes on March 8 have unique ability create a pleasant atmosphere, lift the spirits of everyone present and make the holiday memorable. In addition, they quite often raise quite important topics and questions, which can be very difficult to resolve without the help of humor. Of course, children's funny skits have their own specifics and are unlike, say, comic numbers for corporate parties. They are usually distinguished by kind and even naive humor, which is perfect for such a bright spring holiday as International Women's Day. That is why holiday concerts in schools and kindergartens on March 8 have a unique atmosphere. In our article today we tried to collect the most interesting and original ideas for funny scenes on March 8 for mothers, schoolchildren and kindergarten students. We hope that our video options will not only lift your spirits, but also help you write a sparkling script for March 8th.
Funny and comic scenes on March 8 in kindergarten, video
Little kindergarten students are the most spontaneous and sincere artists. That is why the funny and humorous scenes performed on March 8 at matinees in kindergarten in their performance evoke so much joy and genuine delight in adults. Cute, charming and childlike, spontaneous artists happily play the roles of adults and themselves. Young actors are especially good at parody roles with a small number of words and expressive gestures and facial expressions. You will find some options for just such funny and humorous scenes on March 8 in kindergarten with video below.
Funny scene “Old Grandmothers” on March 8th for kindergarten
A funny skit about grandmothers on March 8 is a vivid example of a parody number without words, the success of which depends entirely on the artistic abilities of its performers. The number is based on the song “Old Grandmothers”, well known to the older generation, performed by V. Dobrynin. Its cheerful motive and funny lyrics are quite easy to play up with the help of bright costumes and fun dance moves. To make the scene truly hilarious, it is best to cast artistic boys in the roles of grandmothers. They will look especially comical in old lady outfits and with the traditional attributes of grandmothers.
Comic skit on March 8 for kindergarten “Three Mothers”
For this version of the comic scene, you will need three girls who will play the roles of daughter, mother and grandmother. Each of them will have their own words - several lines of poetry with a funny meaning. The essence of the sketch is to show how important a mother is in everyone’s life, but at the same time to play out in a humorous way the mother’s excessive care and anxiety. In general, this thematic scene turns out to be very touching and funny at the same time, so it fits perfectly into almost any scenario for the March 8th matinee in kindergarten. The only thing is that girls from the senior or senior age are more suitable for the main roles. preparatory group with good diction and artistic abilities.
Comic skits for a concert in honor of March 8th for elementary school, video
If the festive matinees in honor of March 8 in kindergartens are dominated by touching dance and congratulatory numbers, then the concert in primary school you can now safely build on comic scenario with funny scenes. The main success of such a concert, as well as any other festive event, V proper organization and talented performers. Without good actors comic skits at a concert in honor of March 8 in an elementary school simply will not have the desired effect and will go unnoticed and unappreciated by the public. In addition, it is important to select appropriate scenery, costumes and props. It is details like these that help not only convey the meaning of the scene, but also contribute to transformation young artists. Next, we offer you several options for comic skits that are perfect for a festive concert in an elementary school.
A comic skit in an elementary school on March 8 “How to surprise girls” for boys
This number is very simple to perform and does not require any special decorations or attributes. The main thing is to choose really cheerful and charismatic boys who, with the help of facial expressions and words, will be able to play out all the humor of this scene. The topic of the issue is quite urgent for all men on the eve of International Women's Day - “What to surprise and what gifts to please women with?” The boys from this issue offer their own ideas for gifts and surprises that might please the girls in their class. We are sure that their funny versions will not leave anyone indifferent.
A funny scene for girls on March 8 “When mom is not at home”
It's no secret that parody numbers are always very warmly received by the public, especially if their plot is close and understandable to everyone present. Next funny scene on March 8, all mothers will probably like it, because they themselves were once in the place of young artists and experienced a similar situation. As you can easily guess from the title of the episode, the sketch shows in a cool and slightly exaggerated way what is happening at home at the moment when mother is not there, and the daughters are getting to their mother’s treasured things. Lung musical accompaniment and a cheerful dance at the beginning of the number make such a scene more energetic and tune the audience to its comic nature.
Cool and funny skits for high school students on March 8, video
Everyone knows about the creativity and good sense of humor of high school students. One can only envy the resourcefulness, energy and enthusiasm of young people. It is not surprising that high school students are best at coming up with cool and funny scenes on March 8 for mothers, grandmothers, teachers and classmates. Of course, touching and tender numbers also have a place in festive concerts dedicated to International Women's Day, organized by high school students. But much more often they still prefer to please and make dear women laugh on their holiday. Next, we bring to your attention several cool and funny skits for high school students on March 8 with video.
Funny skit “Festive Grandfather” on March 8 for high school girls
To participate in this funny act you will need girls and one guy, who will act as a simple grandfather. The skit itself is written using poems with humor, so it is very advisable to choose participants with a well-trained voice and artistic abilities. well and main character skits - a festive grandfather, of course, should be funny and charismatic.
A comic skit in honor of March 8 for high school students “How boys and girls celebrate the holiday”
Variants of humorous scenes from the category “expectations and reality” are very popular in Lately. However, this scene rather reflects, in a slightly exaggerated form, the difference between how boys and girls celebrate March 8th. Of course, the chosen images are very exaggerated, but there is still some truth in them. There are many images in the scene and therefore almost everyone present will be able to recognize themselves among the characters shown.
Funny skit “Day of Revelations” on March 8 for high school students
But the following scene is ideal for a concert in honor of March 8, organized especially for classmates. It raises one of the most popular topics for teenagers, about which you can joke endlessly. It's about, of course, about relationships and “Day of Revelations” is a vivid example of how differently a guy and a girl in a relationship sometimes perceive the same idea. To participate in the skit you need to choose an artistic guy and a talented girl. But if you want to get a truly hilarious number, we strongly recommend taking two funny guys as the main characters.
Funny and funny scenes on March 8 for mothers and children, video
Children in schools and kindergartens joke about all sorts of things in cool and funny scenes for mothers on March 8th! They do this very subtly, ironically, but not at all offensively. AND household topics they raise and come up with parodies of characteristic female behavior, and notice funny moments in the relationship between parents and children. But the most popular topic remains, of course, mothers. Moreover, children manage to make jokes about mothers so delicately and touchingly that adults are not offended at all. On the contrary, looking at the funny parodies of children, mothers sincerely laugh, recognizing themselves and their habits. And sometimes, such funny parodies even make many parents and children reconsider some moments in their family relationships V better side. Therefore, if you want to make the festive concert on March 8th really interesting and memorable, be sure to include in the script a few funny and funny skits on March 8 for mothers and children. Moreover, below you will find several fun options for kindergarten and high school.
Cool scene “Meeting of mothers” on March 8 for a matinee in kindergarten
This number, performed by kids, turns out to be really comical and cheerful in a good way. In the story, the girls play the roles of mothers who accidentally meet and share latest news About our family problems. Well, just like their adult mothers, who prefer to share their experiences and everyday problems with their friends. The essence of this issue is to show how complex and difficult a mother’s daily work can be and how important it is to appreciate it, take care of her mother, help her and not upset her. It is thanks to the cheerful presentation that such a scene will not only not upset anyone, but will also help kids better understand and appreciate their mothers.
Funny skit “How I help my mother” on March 8 for elementary school
This funny scene is intended to ironically ridicule such a fairly common everyday problem, like the lack of help for the mother from the children. Her dialogue unfolds between a mother and her schoolgirl daughter, who writes an eloquent, but far from truthful, essay on the topic “How I help my mother.” Of course, the actions in this scene are exaggerated, but despite the humor present, the plot makes both children and adults think.
Cool skit on March 8 “Typical Mom” for high school students
The following humorous production would be best suited for a high school or even college concert. Three people participate characters- son, mother and grandmother. The plot of the issue revolves around a rather comical situation, familiar to many modern families. In a nutshell, the sketch is about how often our mothers are unfriendly with modern gadgets in general, and with computers in particular. The paradox is that the older generation, and in this case grandmothers, can be much more “advanced” in this matter than their children. In general, if you want to laugh heartily, then take a closer look at the following funny scene.
Festive concerts in honor of March 8 for mothers and grandmothers in kindergartens and schools are a good tradition that should be preserved as long as possible. This is not just a children's amateur activity, but a real gift and the most best congratulations for dear women. And funny, cool and humorous scenes on March 8th are the “highlights” of such children's concerts. It is the numbers that make the humor main holiday all women are truly bright, memorable and cheerful. We hope that in our article today you will find many options for funny scenes on March 8 that will inspire you to write original script. Remember that the success of any performance directly depends on its performers. Therefore, always choose talented schoolchildren and children with good acting skills. And then, we are sure, any funny scene in honor of International Women’s Day will bring a lot of positivity to all guests of the holiday!
1 Presenter.
Good afternoon, dear ladies and people.
Our dear WOMEN!
Today is the most favorable and happiest day for you according to the “male” horoscope, i.e.:
March 8 is a solemn day,
Day of joy and beauty,
All over the earth he gives to women
Your smiles and flowers!!!2 Presenter.
What holiday of congratulations? And the first congratulations will be presented to you by our respected leaderName . Her first word.
Word from the school principal.
1 Presenter.
If the planet suddenly froze,
I would lie dead and cold,
From a woman's gaze
Warmed with warmth
She would thaw in an instant...
2 Presenter.
In nature itself the feminine principle
Stronger, perhaps, than all the others.
Nature has generously endowed women,
And people put him on a pedestal.
1 Presenter.
Extol everything about them
Men are happy -
From a meek disposition
Until the color of the eyes...
2 Presenter.
Gives you his complimentName the song "Let".
1 Presenter.
Dear ladies!
We could praise you until the morning!
However, it's time to get down to business.
2 Presenter.
Dear male colleagues, we ask you to come up to the stage. Dear ladies, wives, girlfriends, daughters and granddaughters! All words and congratulations today sound only for you! Spring and Love to you!
The men congratulate.
1 Presenter. To you, dear women, congratulatory telegrams arrived, but all of them were unsigned. Now we will read them, and you try to guess who the author is. I only know that all senders are male.TELEGRAMS:
LET THEY CALL YOU “FISH”, “BUNNIES”!
HELLO AND CONGRATULATIONS FROM…. UNKNOWN
PREFER TRANSPORT ON FOOT,
GO TO THE FOREST! GREETINGS... LESHY
EAT MORE FRUIT AND VEGETABLES
AND BE HEALTHY, YOUR... KASHCHEY
TODAY YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AS A PICTURE!
I GIVE YOU THE KEYS TO HAPPINESS! ….. Pinocchio
LET EVERYONE BE FOUND BY IVAN TSAREVICH!
SMILES AND SONGS TO YOU! …. MAKAREVICH
I HOPE EVERYONE MEETS THIS SOON!
HELLO MUSICAL PEOPLE! YOUR…. KIRKOROV
LET MEN LOOK AT YOU TENDINGLY!
HELLO AND NEW SONG FROM…. BASKOVA
1 Presenter.
Woman is spring
The image is blooming and tender!
2 Presenter.
A woman is always
The world is radiant, boundless.
1 Presenter.
It's been so many years now
We are fascinated by you.
2 Presenter.
You are hope and light,
We are bewitched by you.
1 Presenter.
Let this song now
It will be a gift for you, dear veterans of teaching work!
Sings for youName "Give women flowers"
1 Presenter. Pupils show off on their desks
The kids crowded around the board
Students write on the board
We tried! Not a single mistake!
It’s not for nothing that so many eyes were watching
As always, a friendly smile
The teacher came into their classroom!
2 Presenter. Great is the teacher's joy
Here she is standing in front of the board
And childish glances follow
Behind her raised hand
Those were good moments
Wrote, smiled again
The kids read: “Thank you, children,
for your studies and love"!
The song “I draw on the window” is sung for you by the vocal group “Constellation”
1 Presenter. Look at the young people walking... and how they coo...
2 Presenter. Well, quickly... quickly into the bushes...Scene “Love, love...”
a short and thin man named VASYOK comes onto the stage. He sits down on a chair. He is wearing a cap with a flower and a fashionable country jacket. He has a grass stalk in his teeth and a small flower in his hands. The song starts playing: “Oh, you’re on the mountain there.”
movie: "He Came Again"His beloved MARUSYA (it could be a man in women's clothing) comes out to see VASUK and sits down next to him.VASYOK: Hello, Marusya!MARUSYA: Hello, Vasek!VASYOK (gives a flower): This is for you!MARUSYA: Oh, thank you!They both look up a little in awe. Vasek carefully places his hand on her shoulder. She winces.VASYOK: Marusya... will you marry me?MARUSYA: Oh, I don’t know. This is so unexpected! I need to think.VASYOK: How long can you think? I proposed to you six years ago.MARUSYA: Well, I don’t know. If you think it's time, then I agree.The song is still going on. They sigh together with smiles on their faces.MARUSYA (after a pause): Vasya! Who do you want to get first: a cat or a dog?VASYOK: Yeah...MARUSYA: (pause) Vasya, will you always love me?VASEK: I will love you to the end.MARUSYA (after a pause): Vasya, it’s already late. Take me home.Our heroes are leaving. The music stops.
Vasya comes out and sits on a chair. Five seconds later, Marusya comes out with buckets. He puts them on the floor.MARUSYA: Why are you sitting? Why are you sitting, I ask you? Have you cleaned the yard? Did you feed the chickens? I have to do everything myself.VASYOK: Why are you screaming like that? I'll do everything now.MARUSYA: I scream because even on the eighth of March, you do nothing for me. And you said that you will love me until the end.VASYOK: Well, let's go, let's go, I'll do... something...
END
1 Presenter.
Oh, yeah, so much romance.. (sighing)
2 Vriding.
I would like to congratulate our women teachers. It is difficult for them with us, especially when we express ourselves in an incomprehensible language.
1 Presenter.
But life in general is a complicated thing.
2 Vriding.
But in our school life sometimes such moments happen. "Groom from 3b" readsName
.
"Groom from 3 b" Name .
1 Presenter.
May success always and everywhere accompany you in your business!
And today, on this bright holiday, be the happiest of all.
2 Vriding.
Gives you his “colorful” performanceName
"In different colors."
Name "In different colors."
1 Presenter.
A woman, like a cat, is looking for where it’s warmer,
Where it is dearer to the soul, it is more joyful to the heart.
2 Vriding.
A woman is like a cat - she can be anyone:
Affectionate, harsh, biting, mischievous...
So what kind of woman is she?
He will tell us about thisName .
I have a holiday today, it’s cooler than New Year.
You served a wonderful compote this morning.
I didn't find any coffee in the kitchen. It's on the shelf - where it always is.
You can't know about this. However, this is nonsense.
You poured compote into a glass with a chip on the side.
I didn’t find, you said, the cups. I can understand this.
It was not in vain that yesterday I tried to hide everything that was a pity to beat.
So that today you can be the kindest and most tolerant person.
Half a glass of compote you spilled on the bed.
Don't worry, darling. Give me a glass quickly.
I will finish it with a smile, I will finish it with gratitude.
And someday I’ll kill for a new sheet.
Did you fry eggs?!?!?!?!? It's like I'm in heaven!
Even if it has a shell, I will chew it.
Oh! What is this? Mimosa? When did you have time?
Oh, yesterday? And cleverly hid it? Did you want to surprise me?
Where did you hide it? Yeah? In a suit on your day off?
I never would have guessed it! (I will clean it on the weekend)
Will you wash ALL the dishes yourself? Two plates? BAM! One...
Do not worry it's okay. The broom is standing over there in the corner.
How sweet you are today, I just want to cry.
Going to? Visiting mom?? I can't recognize you!
Mother-in-law - MOM?? This is great! I didn't dare to dream.
There is no need to carry it in your arms, it is better to hold it by the hand.
It’s good that they didn’t decide to lengthen the women’s holiday.
After all, it’s really impossible to endure this for long.
It’s good that it’s soon evening, the day will disappear in the course of years.
And only the dried bouquet will remain in the kitchen.
I will wash the sheet, deftly clean the jacket,
And this terrible mess will end in the kitchen.
I’ll get myself back to normal and get my apartment in order.
And with the happiest face I will fall onto the bed.
1 Presenter.
And I also know that women love to give advice!
2 Presenter. Yes, yes especially mothers. They protect us so carefully, despite their age. There are quite a few of them in our hall too. Compliment to mothers fromName .
1 Presenter.
We rarely bring bouquets to mom,
But everyone upsets her so often...
And a kind mother forgives all this,
Beautiful mother all this forgives.
2 Presenter.
Without bending stubbornly under the load of worries,
She performs her duty patiently...
Every mother is beautiful in her own way,
She is beautiful with her mother's love.
Congratulations to all mothers as wellName . Song "Mom".
Name sings the song "Mama".
1 Presenter.
March 8th is a wonderful and traditionally favorite holiday in our country.
2 Presenter. It is beautiful not only because it is the first spring holiday, when nature awakens and the time of love comes. Men worship the bright image of a woman, because they are so similar to angels. "Music of Angels" performed byName.
"Music of angels" Name .
1 Presenter.
Today is a holiday, but you need to write an explanation why you were late for Chinese language lessons yesterday??
2 Presenter.
Damn it (in Chinese, shukai here)
1 Presenter.
What...who should I pinch...??
2 Presenter.
Nothing... it's in Chinese... damn it
1 Presenter.
Lhell,write an explanatory note,and I'll come later. In the meantime, you are writing the next musical number for all the incomparable women sitting in this hall! "Children's Play" performedName .
(go backstage to write a letter)
1 Presenter.
Well, read what you have there.
2 Presenter.
Why am I late (explanatory)
Yesterday when I was walkingfor Chinese lessons , suddenly fell from a tree on mecrazy policeman . I screamed likeunderground rhinoceros and lost consciousness. I woke upin Karaganda and said: Take mefor Chinese lessons , I really need. But for some reason they took me awayto the State Duma , and from there I walked until he gave me a liftreactive jalopy . That's why I was late yesterday.
1 Presenter.
How did this happen to you - then... Oh, look, someone is walking there, let's go and have a look.
2 Presenter.
Yes Yes. It's coming, it's coming. This is Valeria Molchanova coming. What is her head thinking about?
Valeria Molchanova reads “What is my head thinking about.”
1 Presenter.
Dear women! We know this holiday as one of the kindest and most beautiful. On this day, no woman should be left without a gift.
2 Presenter. Please accept our congratulations and may a smile appear on your face that will not leave you for a long time. Accept a gift fromName "Inside out".
Name "Inside out".
1 Presenter.
Teacher, teacher…
2 Leading.
Why are you shouting?
1 Presenter.
I want a song for the teacher.
2 Leading.
Please, according to the pike's command, according to your desire, song "Good mood» performed by a vocal group"Constellation".
The girls' vocal group "Constellation" performs the song "Good Mood".
1 Presenter.
ListenName , that's what I'll say.
2 Leading.
Tell me, tell meName .
1 Presenter.
If deputies have a sad life, their salaries are high. But these teachers have a fun life, but the salary is small. Look how funny they are.
2 Presenter.
Good moral support,
A decent salary to you all.
Effective and without delay,
Solutions to various problems.
2 Presenter.
You are valued, pampered, loved dearly!
And joy will be young!
Happy holiday, dears!
Together
.
With the beginning of spring!
(The song plays For our ladies Trofim)
We remember wonderful moments
What have you given us in life?
So without delay
Let's start the concert for our ladies!
We are grateful for the smiles
And for the heavenly features,
For the mistakes and mistakes
You forgive out of kindness.
For giving excitement,
That they rise again and again
And Divinity and inspiration,
And life, and tears, and love!
(Song intro plays SONG OF OLD WOMEN - MERRY WOMEN.
New Russian grandmothers appear, sing a song)
SONG OF OLD WOMEN - MERRY WOMEN
Music Vladimir Shainsky Lyrics Mikhail Nozhkin
We are the people with our skills
Yes, he rewarded me with fun,
To lift your spirits
I have equipped you to help!
Chorus:
We’re a year old – it doesn’t matter!
If the soul is young!
It's not a problem for us!
If the soul is young!
Since childhood I have not been afraid of blood,
I will heal all of your wounds.
And if I laugh -
I'll want everyone around me to laugh.
Chorus.
I have a keen eye -
I will make out all your enemies.
Well, when I whistle at once,
I will put the army on the ground.
Chorus.
Can we fire the cannon?
Sew, wash, cook dinner!
Well, what kind of old ladies are we?
The three of us are 300 years old!
Chorus.
Matryona: Good evening, dear ladies and people. Check out how cool I am today..a..cool in general, I’m already enjoying myself! And this is my old friend?..
Flower:... oh, Matryon, how hard it is to be a real woman these days...
Matryona: Oh, Flower, don't talk. And you look really cool today, that’s okay! (Flower howls) What is it?
Flower: This morning I got up, sat down in front of the mirror, laid out my cosmetics in front of me... and fell asleep...
Matryona? No, I went to the beauty salon today. Look what I'm like today..!!
Flower: Oh, wow...what a beautiful lipstick you have!
Matryona: the lipstick is super-resistant, once you apply it you can never wipe it off, even if you go to bed with it... by God...
Flower: ohhh
Matryona: Fathers, and the shoes, and the shoes...what is a Flower?
Flower: This is Iconika!
Matryona: ahh..that's what..
Flower: shoes for the dead man! oh, for the fan! and look, I bought myself an anti-aging mask..ba..
Matryona: I immediately looked 40 years younger! No, you know, I struggle with wrinkles differently. right now..iron Rowenta, ironed it once and the wrinkles were gone!
Tsvetotsek: oh, you know, I already forgot about wrinkles.
Matryonaa: why??
Flower: Sclerosis, the best medicine...hihihi....
Matryona: Flower, do you know why we even gathered??
Flower: nooo
Matryona: Ahh...about our professional holiday!
Flower: janitor's day????
Matryona: Why is Janitor’s Day...??! I’m actually talking about a women’s holiday!
Flower:ahh...I remember, of course, I remember about the women's holiday! Now our men will congratulate us! what do I look like??
Matryona: Lord forbid...t. e. I want to say super-stupid! Well guys, we are listening to you!
(Men come out singing)
We must tell you honestly
We need girls more than life.
Well, who will tell us that spring is coming,
Well, who will deprive us of peace and sleep?
Who will awaken love in the soul,
Who will make you believe in your dream again,
Who will kiss us, at least sometimes?
Who will share life with us once and for all?
Chorus: (Grandmas sing)
How can you live without us?
Well, tell me, tell me.
Where would you be without us?
Yes, just nowhere.
No wonder all centuries
We are carried in their arms
And we are ready to lend our hands again.
(they bring chairs to the grandmothers, they sit down)
Man: let me congratulate you on Women's Day, and wish you to always remain as young as you are today..
Flower: Are you kidding me or what? I don’t understand..
Man2:It shouldn’t be like that! dear grandmothers!
Matryona: By the way girls!
Flower:...and not that expensive...
Man:okay, our dear girls, on this day we would like to wish you intelligence, a lot of beauty..and also..
Matryona: wait, wait... what are you trying to say, that we are two unfortunate, terrible fools or something...??!
Man3: it has to be like this! Our dear ladies, we congratulate you on the holiday and wish you good health!
Matryona: Now, that's better! (The men leave) ________________________________________________
Matryona: Flower, what I wanted to tell you...
Flower: FAQ?
Matryona: Do you know that Maria has a granddaughter?
Flower: What are you talking about?!
Matryona: Yesterday I was born, by God.
Flower: Bah!
Matryona: Such an ugly girl!
Flower: It's nothing! It's nothing! Ugly things, they get prettier later. And beauties, on the contrary, turn stupid.
Matryona: Or maybe you were a beauty when you were a child..
Flower: Again! Stop it Matryona, let’s announce the number: on stage _________________________________________________
(Scenery: park, bench, Flower comes out, sits on the bench, later Matryona comes out)
Flower: Why did you come out with a guitar??
Matryona: Yes, I want to congratulate you personally..
Flower: Personally...well, it’s nice...will you be the only one to congratulate?
Matryona: No._________________
Flower:Okay, now, wait, I’ll take a pose..
Matryona: Fathers...you also have a congratulatory pose...
Flower: Well, what about... (hit parade)
L. Vaikule: Vernissage
Once in our village
I met you by chance
You drank kvass right at the kiosk.
I fell in love with you
For your ADIDAS suit
And there are 3 stripes on the emblem.
There is no end to the chance meeting
We hugged on the porch
Promising to love each other...
The yellow moon was shining
I realized that I was in love
I realized that I was in love
ETC.: May this March day
No one will be lonely
Let them give flowers to women,
And let the cats sing songs.
I congratulate all the people
And this song is a joke to you
Performed for lovely ladies...
Boris Moiseev comes out
(behaves capriciously, mannered)
We are nobody to each other and that makes it easier
Doesn't hurt, doesn't pinch and doesn't drive you crazy
I came here to see you for a festive evening
To wish you all love and goodness.
I want you to be happy, alive,
If a bullet flies, it always passes by you,
And I want to tell you that you are all beautiful here,
But I’m in a hurry, I’m leaving now!
Ex: I won’t, I won’t eat your vinaigrette now,
And I will not and will not even eat your salad,
I'm passing through here, and I have a ticket in my hands,
I will soon leave for the city of Leningrad!
Alla Pugacheva
To the tune of the Song about a Real Colonel
Oh, what a capricious Boriska you are,
Get out of my sight quickly
You're acting like a radish
What should I do, I’ll sing for two,
Etc.: Let the songs ring loudly
Today is our holiday!
Happy March 8th, girls
Come out - let's start dancing!
Flower: Oh, Matryona, thank you very much... and this is not Boris’s son Maesya..?? (Matryona looks at the flower with amazing eyes)
Matryona: Flower, today is a holiday, but you need to write an explanation why you were late for Chinese lessons yesterday??
Flower: Damn it (in Chinese, shukai here)
Matryona: Why...who should I pike...??
Flower: Nothing... it's in Chinese... damn if it's wrong
Matryona: Okay, write an explanatory note, and I’ll come back later
(the audience and Flower write a letter)Why am I late (explanatory)
Beginning of the form
End of form
Why am I late (explanatory)
Yesterday when I was walking For Chinese lessons, suddenly fell from a tree on me Crazy Policeman . I screamed like Underground Rhinoceros and lost consciousness. I woke up In Karaganda and said: Take me For Chinese lessons , I really need. But for some reason they took me away To the State Duma , and from there I walked until he gave me a lift Reactive Jalopy . That's why I was late yesterday.
Matryona: Little flower, how come you got into this... Oh, look, there’s some kind of gathering there, let’s go and have a look
(2 people in a bathrobe and start advertising the w-mobile)
HOST: Believing that the best gift is a book is the lot of librarians. You and I know the correct answer. Fur coat? No, take it higher. Well? As dear Leonid Arkadyevich would say: aw-to-mo-bi-l!!! And so, now a new concept car will be presented to your attention... But I’m silent, I’m silent: word to the creators!
Two young men in white coats come out.
CONSTRUCTOR 1: Dear friends! Actually, we planned the presentation at the Geneva Motor Show, but for the sake of the holiday (International Women's Day), we will tell you some insider information.
CONSTRUCTOR 2: And so, let Mikhail Prokhorov bite his elbows with his E-mobile, we present the first women's store J-MOBILE!
CONSTRUCTOR 1: Main characteristics. The J-MOBILE, like the hostess, refuels with one glass of gasoline.
CONSTRUCTION 2: Unlike a regular car, there was a section for lipstick - where the cigarette lighter was. The cigarette lighter itself was removed to avoid an unpleasant burning sensation.
CONSTRUCTION 1: If desired, the J-MOBILE can be painted with henna or hydrogen peroxide, and the thresholds can also be increased.
CONSTRUCTOR 2: An important point: the car is a chameleon. Automatically matches your handbag and boots.
CONSTRUCTOR 1: F-MOBILE – it doesn’t skid on the road, it just wags its bumper.
CONSTRUCTOR 2: The Z-MOBILE radio tape recorder fundamentally does not pick up chanson, and automatically replaces it with your favorite hits.
CONSTRUCTION 1: THE F-MOBILE has a disk with compliments. This was done on purpose to scream: Where are you going, fool?- you heard: Smart girl, you're doing everything right.
CONSTRUCTOR 2: Every year the J-MOBILE needs not only pendant repairs, but also a new necklace and ring.
CONSTRUCTOR 1: The J-MOBILE has one drawback, it looks too good on traffic police photo radar images.
CONSTRUCTOR 2: The J-MOBILE steering wheel is shaped like Brad Pitt’s torso, which makes you don’t want to let go of it.
CONSTRUCTION 1: The steering wheel automatically gives you a manicure, and the gas pedal automatically gives you a pedicure and a light foot massage.
CONSTRUCTOR 2: The car senses where there is a new collection or discounts and brakes there itself.
CONSTRUCTION KIT 1: A soft toy, a pink pillow and a velvet rag are already included in the basic package.
CONSTRUCTION 2: There is a function to search for a lost earring in the salon.
CONSTRUCTION 1: The inspection coupon is at the same time a discount card and a subscription to the solarium.
CONSTRUCTION 2: The car is washed at least twice with shower gel with violet extract.
CONSTRUCTION 1: There is not only a rear-view mirror, but also a full-length one in the cabin.
CONSTRUCTION 2: To avoid creating a negative image of the owner, the car is equipped with an automatic parking function.
CONSTRUCTOR 1: Well, that's probably all. Does anyone in the room have any questions?
PERSON FROM THE AUDIENCE: You described everything so colorfully. Does your car have any disadvantages?
CONSTRUCTOR 2: In our opinion, there is only one: the trunk of the J-MOBILE is made according to the principle of a handbag.
PERSON FROM THE AUDIENCE: That is?
CONSTRUCTOR 2: It has everything you need, you just won’t find what you need.
CONSTRUCTOR 1: Thank you! Wait for sales! Coming soon to AVON and ORIFLAME catalogs!
Bow.
Matryona: Fathers, Flower, I also want a mobile phone like this...
Flower: Hey..I’ve had the J-lisaped for 15 years now...and I drive it fine...
Matryona: Well, let’s go, you’ll show me, while ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ will perform on stage - (they leave)
Flower: Well, what do you like about my car? Is it a car?
Matryona: You know, flower: Not really. I have a Cossack, that’s enough for me. The motor makes no noise at all.
Flower: Why is it so quiet?
Matryona: Why, your ears are pinched between your knees!
Flower: Wow. On the stage_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Flower: Oh, Matryona, after all, we’re great for deciding to go on patrol with you at night! Defending your beloved village is a sacred cause, especially since today is such a holiday, you never know... you have to be on your guard (takes a gun)!
Matryona: Don't talk, don't talk!
Flower: Oh, anyway, is it really so scary now to walk in the village in the evenings?
Matryona: Good, that's it! You are a maniac yourself, Flower!
Flower: No, I'm a killer of maniacs! MIG 76!
Matryona: I’m looking at you right now, it’s true what they say is that the whole village is afraid of you, the whole village!
Flower: Is she afraid of someone?
Matryona: Why aren’t they afraid of you? Yesterday evening, what did she fire from a gun? You might say she was a hooligan? Did she shoot at the banks?
Flower: So the man was digging cabbage in the field!
Matryona: Bah!
Flower: Yes!
Matryona: oh, look at the young people coming... and how they coo... come on quickly... quickly into the bushes...
(skit)
A short and thin man named VASYOK comes onto the stage. He sits down on a chair. He is wearing a cap with a flower and a fashionable country jacket. He has a grass stalk in his teeth and a small flower in his hands. The song starts playing: Oh, you're there on the mountain.
His beloved MARUSYA (it could be a man in women's clothing) comes out to see VASUK and sits down next to him.
VASYOK: Hello, Marusya!
MARUSYA: Hello, Vasek!
VASYOK (gives a flower): This is for you!
MARUSYA: Oh, thank you!
They both look up a little in awe. Vasek carefully places his hand on her shoulder. She winces.
VASYOK: Marusya... will you marry me?
MARUSYA: Oh, I don’t know. This is so unexpected! I need to think.
VASYOK: How long can you think? I proposed to you six years ago.
MARUSYA: Well, I don’t know. If you think it's time, then I agree.
The song is still going on. They sigh together with smiles on their faces.
MARUSYA (after a pause): Vasya! Who do you want to get first: a cat or a dog?
VASYOK: Well, maybe we’ll have the first child after all?
MARUSYA: Vasya! (pause) Who do you want first: a girl or a girl?
Vasek slowly turned and looked at Marusya. Then he turned back just as slowly.
VASYOK: (thoughtfully) I don’t know. (pause) Probably a girl. And you?
MARUSYA: I don’t care. (pause) Vasya, will you always love me?
VASEK: I will love you to the end.
MARUSYA (after a pause): Vasya, it’s already late. Take me home.
Our heroes are leaving. The music stops.
Vasya comes out and sits on a chair. Five seconds later, Marusya comes out with buckets. He puts them on the floor.
MARUSYA: Why are you sitting? Why are you sitting, I ask you? Have you cleaned the yard? Did you feed the chickens? I have to do everything myself.
VASYOK: Why are you screaming like that? I'll do everything now.
MARUSYA: I scream because even on the eighth of March, you do nothing for me. And you said that you will love me until the end.
VASYOK: So the end has already come.
Flower: oh, so much romance... that...
Matryona: What are you doing with the bag...are you really going there...??!!hihi..
Flower: No...I’ll fly to Hawaii...
Matryona: What Hawaii... it's a holiday... and especially you don't know what the weather is like there... ahh... what if it rains... snow
Flower: Matryon, what are you... it’s always warm there... and what’s the weather like for our holiday today....??
(forecast weather)
Matryona: Dear comrades, we are starting the weather forecast for tomorrow...
(The flower dances and hums a melody Emmanuel)
So, tomorrow, according to the Hydrometeorological Center of Russia, it is expected...
Flower: A!
Matryona : What is it again?
Flower : Something hit me in the back.
Matryona: She jumped, the old nymphet...
Flower: No, when it hits my back, it means rain.
Matryona: Do you understand where it hurts?
Flower: Here, in the upper third...
Matryona: Tomorrow there will be rain in the east of the country...
Flower : A!
Matryona : What is it again?
Flower: Something snapped inside me.
Matryona : Thunderstorm possible.
Flower: No, look, it’s gone.
Matryona : There may not be a thunderstorm.
Flower: Do you hear, grandma, scratch your back, something is hurting.
Matryona : Tomorrow there may be a cyclone to the north, an anticyclone to the south, an assault front to the east, midnight in Petropavlovsk-Kamchatsky!
Flower : Hey, scratch it in the southwest. Something is bothering me there. probably the pressure is jumping
Matryona : Tomorrow in the black earth regions of the country the pressure will drop to 40 degrees inwards, to 40 milligrams... milliliters... oh well... millimeters of mercury.
Flower : For some reason my nose is itchy, probably because of the drinking.
Matryona: Highs in the 40s and lows are expected over the weekend. 9 in the morning there is complete fog, dry conditions and wind. All!
Flower : No, not all. Rain and snow, ice, wind gusts up to 15 m/s, visibility 20 meters are expected.
Matryona: Fathers, how did you know everything?
Flower : It was announced on the radio in the morning.
Flower: So now the 6th grade students will tell us everything.
6th grade skit
______________________________________________________________________________
Matryona: where is that one? Have you seen my jerboa with glasses?
(Flower appears)
Why are you always late?
Flower: faq, faq I was backstage, watching.
Matryona: Whom?
Flower: Like whom? Yes, their beauties. Just look at them......(ditties 5th grade
Matryona: What do you have again?
Flower: Yes, the crossword puzzle doesn’t work. Here are 2 words and it doesn’t work
Matryona: Let me help.
Flower: here 13 horizontally is a bad habit.
Matryona: Whose bad habit is it?
Is it my bad habit? (crying)
Flower: What do you have to do with it?
Matryona: I have a bad habit. I've been suffering for 5 years now.
Flower: What happened then?
Matryona: Yes, as soon as I wake up, I brush my teeth.
Flower: It's nothing. This is fine.
Matryona: Who is fine. And do you know. How many times do I wake up? - normal.
Flower: Doesn't fit anyway.
Matryona: Look eighth vertically. Starts with the letter I...
Flower And this is a game. 5th grade on stage
Flower: I have good news. I was chosen as the best fan of the year.
Matryona: Well, that’s right, now you’re sick, now with something else, now with this, now with a leaking roof.
Flower: You started teasing me again.
Matryona: Well, we need to finish this matter, otherwise you will get sick again.
Meet
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Flower:
You don’t look well, Matryona.
Matryona:
Better look at yourself, old crow!
Flower:
You look pale, lethargic and boiled like pasta!
Well, get ready for work and defense.
Flower:. I have one recipe, we will teach men how to bake pies.
Matryona: Regular apple pie recipe
Flower: Take 10 eggs from the refrigerator, put the remaining seven on the table and wipe the floor, next time be extremely careful. Take a basin and break the eggs into its corner, pour their contents into the basin. Wipe the table from yolks, be careful. So, we have 5 yolks in the basin.
Matryona: Now take the mixer, insert the beaters and start beating the yolks. Try inserting the beaters again... until you hear a click. Whisk.
Wash your face, neck, arms and back, pour the yolk out of your ears.
As a result, you have two beaten yolks left in the bowl, which is exactly what we need for the pie.
Flower: It's time to get the flour. Cover the kitchen walls and ceiling with newspaper and cover the furniture with some fabric. Pour 200 g of flour into a glass, then pour into a bowl with yolks; carefully collect the remaining 800 g back into the bag.
Matryona: After making sure that the ceiling and wallpaper are covered with newspaper, start whisking.
Flower: Take a shower. Take 4 large apples and a sharp knife, first run to the pharmacy and buy iodine, a patch and a bandage. It's time to start peeling the apples.
Matryona: Treat your thumb with iodine and bandage it. Cut the apples into cubes and remember, we will need 2 apples, so you can only eat half during the cooking process. Treat your index and middle fingers with iodine.
Flower: Throw the only remaining and already chopped apple into a basin, pick up the fallen pieces from the floor, and rinse them.
Matryona: Beat everything with a mixer. Wash the refrigerator, then it dries - you can’t wash it off.
Flower: Now pour the contents into the frying pan and place in the oven. Wait an hour and if you don’t see any noticeable changes, turn on the oven. When you wake up, don’t call “01”, just open the windows and oven.
Matryona: After everything you have experienced, with a sense of accomplishment, go to the store and buy a cake.
Flower: Come on, Matryona, we need to buy a cake, otherwise now the men will take everything apart, but in the meantime, meet
Diva Alla Pugacheva with the unfading hit “A Million Scarlet Roses”:
There lived a magician alone.
I bought a nice house.
Created a greenhouse -
I grew red roses.
To the glorious women's day
Raised a million
But not loving either one,
He used roses:
A million, a million, a million red roses
You are carrying, you are carrying, you are carrying to Privoz
Who is in love, who is in love, who is in love and seriously
I gave half a thousand for five scarlet roses!
The holiday was successful -
He sold a lot of flowers.
He shoveled money like a ladle,
I just didn't become any happier.
Let him ruin you
But you were happier:
You bought these roses
Gave it to your sweetheart!
Let someone grow a million scarlet roses,
Let him carry it, let him carry it, let him carry it to Privoz:
You're in love, you're in love, you're seriously in love
You will give, You will give everything for five red roses!!!
Flower: Matryon!
Matryona: Aw!
Flower: What do I want to ask?
Matryona: A-ha, ask, ask dear
Flower: Is this what you thought yesterday when we were offered to perform at this school?
Matryona: Hey, heh! My dear, I didn’t think anything. What can we think, they won’t pay us anything here anyway. So at least we will be a gift for the holiday that is dear to them!
Flower: Meet another gift. On the stage Gr. Factory
To the tune Fish from the repertoire for performance by a ladies' group.
When spring comes again,
The streams are ringing, the snowdrifts are melting!
Together with nature on earth
The weak floor also blossoms!
Oh, Lyuli, my Lyuli!
Oh, Lyuli, my Lyuli!
The spring winds have blown!
Well, why are we worse than these stars?
In your province, girls!
And we have our own producer!
They need to look for something like this!
Don't let tours threaten us!
And business is not going to happen to us!
But we know one thing for sure:
We are the best in this world!
Oh, Lyuli, my Lyuli!
Oh, Lyuli, my Lyuli!
The spring winds have blown!
LOSS
And on this March day
We sincerely congratulate you!
And reach any heights
We wish you well in all matters!
Let your eyes glow
Let your face shine with a smile!
And may fate give you
One day I'll meet a goldfish!
Oh, Lyuli, my Lyuli!
Oh, Lyuli, my Lyuli!
The spring winds have blown!
And we wish you more
Hear compliments more often
And may you always be
Much better than your competitors!
And we don't need anything
Just more moments like this!
And even though we are not in the Kremlin now,
But we really look forward to applause from you!
Here we shine like the sun!
Congratulations! Congratulations!
And we will shine for you today
We wish you brighter than any stars!
Oh, Lyuli, my Lyuli!
Oh, Lyuli, my Lyuli!
The spring winds have blown!
Matryona: Flower, oh, what a song! I'm crazy!
Flower: And I was so turned on, so turned on! You know, I watched a movie yesterday, there were two such men! (at this time R.V. Delikanov and V.V. Pitreev come out) There they are, those from the TV!
Couplets from the repertoire of Bandurin and Vashukov
We are funny grannies
We'll sing ditties for you.
Performed by grandmothers, get your hands ready.
1st:When I was young I was
A very prominent girl...
2nd:Something's looking at you
I can't believe this! (clap their hands in a place with the audience)
I used to perform in the choir,
I sang a song...
2nd:We thought it was a dog
It's howling at the moon! (clap their hands in a place with the audience)
1st:I had 4 husbands with registration….
2nd:And 4 more were on privatization (they clap their hands in a place with the audience)
1st:On the path of pensioners
Grandfather was walking with gray hair...
2nd:When he saw you,
He ran away like a young man! (clap their hands in a place with the audience)
1st:I'm going to a beauty contest
We made a sign...
2nd:Explain to the people
Why are you a technician? (clap their hands in a place with the audience)
1st:I'm waiting for this spring day
Prince on a horse...
2nd:I was daydreaming! For you
Grandfather will wear a vest!
We've come to the end of the ditty,
Clap your hands
In the meantime, let's go dance
With that good guy!
(bow)
Matryona: Oh, men, respect!
Flower: We are so excited in our souls that we are now going to sing for the men!
Matryona: Listen, do you like ditties?
Flower: Adore!
Matryona: Can you sing them?
Flower: And talk and sing!
One - and, two - and I got shortchanged -
Nowadays there are men.
I'll be like Bandurin.
Matryona: Well, I’m like Vashukov.
Flower: Please, people, pay attention to us!
Together: Let's sing from a woman's perspective, women's suffering!
Chorus: We are not too lazy to sing ditties,
Because it's Women's Day.
Guys, attention -
Women's suffering!
The husband carries a bouquet in his hand.
2. And where will you place it?
Are these ficus plants in a pot?
1. My husband will give gifts again today
Toilet water.
2. That’s why it doesn’t happen
No guests, no flies sometimes!
1. My baby is bald
Well, where should we put him?
2. When there is no mirror
You'll be looking at your bald head
1. They came to match me
On a gray mare
2. They took your chests,
And they forgot you
1. I am a foreigner
Found it through an ad.
2. You live abroad with him
In sunny Turkmenistan.
1. Darling is walking along the road,
Goes smiling
2. It turned out that he inserted teeth -
The mouth won't close!
1.My dear tractor driver
Well, I'm a milkmaid
2. He is in fuel oil, you are in manure,
You are a sweet couple.
1. I can Matryon you
Crush with morality.
2. Do you hear, don’t get angry,
Kettle with spiral.
1. Oh, you, fashion, fashion, fashion,
What have you brought to this point?
2. Even Grandma Lukerya
I went to church in shorts.
1. At school you have girls -
Smart girls, beauties!
2. And I know that for boys,
Love this!
1. We wish everyone good health,
We wish you happiness
2. Happy first spring holiday
Hearty congratulations
1. So that you know sorrows
Even a slight shadow of sadness,
2. So that your eyes always shine,
And not only on this day!
Together: We are not too lazy to sing ditties,
Because it's Women's Day.
We sang suffering
Thank you for your attention.
Dance Nachalka__________________________________________________________________________
Flower: Teacher, teacher.
Matryona: How often do you sing this?
Flower: I want a song for the teacher.
Matryona: Please, by the pike's command, by Flower's desire Song All flowers
Matryona: Listen to Tsvetik, that's what I'll say.
Flower: Tell me, tell me, honey.
Matryona: If deputies have a sad life, their salaries are high. But these teachers have a fun life, but the salary is small. Look how funny they are.
Matryona: We congratulate our dear women
After all, you are beautiful, like spring itself!
May fate protect you all from troubles,
And life will be beautiful and long!
Flower: Let there be everything in it - a sea of smiles,
Love and happiness - a whole ocean!
Many amazing stories
And congratulations from distant countries!
Matryona: Ambassador from the island of Sicily. The head of the Sicilian mafia Antonio Zverino (Anatoly Zverev, for example) with an interpreter (translator).
Ambassador of Sicily: Drunk morning because of Stolini Gulini, Poganini, bikini!
Translator: Greetings to everyone sitting in this festive hall!
Ambassador: Drunk in the morning, brainy, sick, goner - hungry, smart, felicita!
Translator: I greet all my friends and colleagues present here!
Ambassador: Drunk in the morning striptease, cretino, bambino, gulako immoral.
Translator: And also those who couldn’t come today!
Ambassador: Mia problem, consensus and body to the hairdryer.
Translator: On this day we will not talk about political and everyday problems.
Ambassador: Mia Rozhe Interesto
Translator: I would like to ask.
Ambassador: Bellisimo belly humanoid?
Translator: Who gave the joy of this holiday?
Ambassador: Mafioso Terazini?
Translator: State Duma?
Ambassador: Papa Putino Cardinale?
Translator: Our president?
Ambassador: Know, know, know!
Translator: No, no, no!
Ambassador: Santa, Maria, Maradona, Felicita!
Translator: Friends, you gave yourself this wonderful holiday!
Ambassador: Mia presente Santa Maria..
Translator: I want to wish you...
Ambassador: Angino, griposo, gastrito, miacardo and radiculito
Translator: Good health!
Ambassador: Kolosale ponimanto respect!
Translator: Mutual understanding in the team and family.
Ambassador: Grandiose business!
Translator: Prosperity in life!
Ambassador: And drunk, drunk, drunk!
Translator: And always be happy!
He bows and leaves.
(Costume of the Ambassador of Sicily: a long dark cloak, buttoned tightly, on top of which is a long white thin scarf (muffler), a dark hat with a wide brim, a cigar, dark glasses.)
Grandmothers: We came to you for an hour to congratulate you on March 8th! We wish you much happiness, until we meet again! Happy holiday, dear teachers!
