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Infantilism: is it good or bad? An infantile person is a person who does not want to grow up.

infantilis- children's) - developmental delay, preservation in the physical appearance or behavior of features inherent in the previous age stages.

The term is used both in relation to physiological and mental phenomena.

In a figurative sense, infantilism (like childishness) is a manifestation of a naive approach in everyday life, in politics, etc.

Physiological infantilism

In medicine, the concept of "infantilism" means a lag in physical development, which manifests itself in some people as a result of cooling, poisoning or infection of the fetus during pregnancy, oxygen deprivation during childbirth, serious diseases in the first months of life, metabolic disorders, disturbances in the activity of some glands internal secretion (gonads, thyroid gland, pituitary gland) and other factors. In such people, the growth and development of all physiological systems of the body slows down.

There are genetically linked variants of infantilism.

Psychological infantilism

Mental infantilism is a person's immaturity, expressed in a delay in the formation of a personality, in which a person's behavior does not correspond to age requirements for him. Mostly the lag is manifested in the development of the emotional-volitional sphere and the preservation of children's personality traits. Naturally, infantile people are not independent, i.e. they are accustomed to the fact that others decide everything for them.

At an early age, signs of infantilism, a decrease in the level of behavioral motivations are difficult to identify. Therefore, mental infantilism is usually talked about only starting from school and adolescence, when the corresponding features begin to appear more clearly.

One of the most important factors in the development of mental infantilism is a person's parents who do not take a person seriously enough in childhood, not allowing them to make independent decisions - thereby limiting a teenager (but not a child) in freedom. That is, the parents themselves may be to blame for the infantilism of a person who was born normal.

Typical for infantile children are the predominance of play interests over educational interests, rejection of school situations and related disciplinary requirements. This leads to school maladjustment, and later - to social problems. However, infantile children are very different from mentally retarded or autistic children. They are distinguished by a higher level of abstract logical thinking, are able to transfer the learned concepts to new concrete tasks, and are more productive and independent. The dynamics of the emerging intellectual disability in infantilism is characterized by auspiciousness with a tendency to smooth out disturbances in cognitive activity.

Simple infantilism should be distinguished from disharmonious, which can lead to psychopathies.

Infantilism- Childlike (juvenile). Infantilism is a trace of evolutionary pedomorphism in certain racial types, but the term can be applied to a specific individual. that is, for children, or having a number of inappropriate for a given age ... ... Physical Anthropology. Illustrated explanatory dictionary.

infantilism- Infant iliness, and ... Russian spelling dictionary

Infantilism- (from the Latin infantilis infantile, childish) manifestation in the psyche and behavior of military personnel of the characteristics inherent in childhood or adolescence ... Psychological and pedagogical dictionary of the officer educator of the ship unit

infantilism- see infantile; and; f. Infanti / flax physique. Infantiality / laxity of behavior. Show your childishness in everything ... Dictionary of many expressions

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The personality of a politician: theory and methodology of psychological portraiture, Rakityansky Nikolai Mitrofanovich. This publication summarizes domestic and foreign experience in building a psychological portrait of a politician's personality. The history of the phenomenon and the concept of a psychological portrait and ...

Today we will analyze a completely ambiguous topic - infantilism. The term "infantilism" comes from the word "infant".

From Wikipedia:

Infant, the female form of infante (Spanish infante, port infant, from Latin infans - child) is the title of all princes and princesses of the royal house in Spain and Portugal (until the liquidation of the Portuguese monarchy in 1910).

Infantilism (from Lat. Infantilis - children's) - immaturity in development, the preservation in the physical appearance or behavior of features inherent in the previous age stages.

In a figurative sense, infantilism (like childishness) is a manifestation of a naive approach in everyday life, in politics, in relationships, etc.

For a more complete picture, it should be noted that infantilism is mental and psychological. And their main difference is not an external manifestation, but the causes of its occurrence.

External manifestations in mental and psychological infantilism are similar and they are expressed in the manifestation of children's traits in behavior, thinking, and emotional reactions.

To understand the difference between mental and psychological infantilism, it is necessary to understand the causes of its occurrence.

Mental infantilism

It arises as a result of the lag and delay in the psyche of the child. In other words, there is a delay in the formation of personality, caused by a delay in development in the emotional and volitional spheres. The emotional-volitional sphere is the basis on which the personality is built. Without such a base, a person, in principle, cannot grow up and at any age remains an “eternal” child.

It should also be noted here that infantile children differ from mentally retarded or autistic children. Their mental sphere can be developed, they can have a high level of abstract-logical thinking, are able to apply the knowledge gained, be intellectually developed and independent.

Mental infantilism cannot be detected in early childhood, it can be noticed only when a child of school or adolescence begins to dominate play interests over educational ones.

In other words, the child's interest is limited only to games and fantasies, everything that goes beyond this world is not accepted, not investigated and is perceived as something unpleasant, complex, alien imposed from the outside.

Behavior becomes primitive and predictable, from any disciplinary requirements the child even more goes into the world of play and fantasy. Over time, this leads to problems of social adaptation.

As an example, a child can spend hours playing on the computer, sincerely not understanding why they need to brush their teeth, make the bed, or go to school. Everything outside the game is alien, unnecessary, incomprehensible.

It should be noted that parents may be guilty of the infantilism of a person who was born normal. A frivolous attitude towards a child in childhood, a prohibition on making independent decisions for a teenager, a constant restriction of his freedom just leads to the underdevelopment of the emotional-volitional sphere.

Psychological infantilism

With psychological infantilism, the child has a healthy psyche without lagging behind. He may well correspond to his development in age, but in practice this does not happen, because for a number of reasons he chooses the role of a child in his behavior.

In general, the main difference between mental and psychological infantilism can be expressed as follows:

Mental infantilism: I can't, even if I want to.

Psychological infantilism: I don’t want to, even if I can.

The general theory is clear. Now, more specifically.

How infantilism appears

According to psychologists, infantilism is not an innate quality, but acquired through education. So what are parents and educators doing that make a child grow up infantile?

Again, according to psychologists, infantility develops in the period from 8 to 12 years. Let's not argue, but just observe how it happens.

In the period from 8 to 12 years old, the child can already take responsibility for his actions. But in order for a child to begin to perform independent actions, he needs to be trusted. This is where the main "evil" lies, which leads to infantilism.

Here are some examples of nurturing infantility:

“Can't you write your essay? I will help, I used to write essays well, ”says my mother.

"I know better how to do it right!"

"You will listen to mom, and you will be fine."

"What opinion can you have!"

"I said so it will be!"

"Your hands are growing out of the wrong place!"

"Yes, everything is always like not with people."

"Move away, I'll do it myself."

"Well, of course, whatever he does not undertake, he will break everything!"

This is how parents gradually put programs in their children. Some children, of course, will go against it and will do it in their own way, but they may get such pressure that the desire to do anything will disappear altogether and, moreover, forever.

Over the years, a child can believe that his parents are right, that he is a failure, that he cannot do anything right, and that others can do it much better. And if the suppression of feelings and emotions is still going on, the child will never get to know them and then his emotional sphere will not be developed.

"You will still cry for me here!"

“Why are you yelling? Hurt? You have to endure. "

"Boys never cry!"

"Why are you yelling like crazy."

All this can be characterized by the following phrase: "Child, do not interfere with our life." Unfortunately, this is the main requirement of parents for their children, to be quiet, obedient and not interfere. So why then be surprised that infantilism is ubiquitous.

By and large, parents unconsciously suppress the child's will and feelings.

This is one of the options. But there are others. For example, when a mother is raising her son (or daughter) alone. She begins to take care of the child more than he needs. She wants him to grow up to be some very famous, to prove to the whole world what a talent he is, so that his mother can be good for them.

The key word was that the mother could be proud. In this case, you don't even think about the child, the main thing is to satisfy your ambitions. Such a mother will be happy to find an occupation for her child that will appeal to him, will put all her strength and money on it, and will take on all the difficulties that may arise during such a hobby.

So talented but not adapted children grow up. It will be good if then there is a woman who wants to serve this talent. And if not? And if it still turns out that there is essentially no talent either. Can you guess what awaits such a child in life? And my mother will grieve: “Well, why is he like that! I did so much for him! " Yes, not for him, but FOR HIM, that's why he is like that.

Another example, when parents do not cherish a soul in their child. Since childhood, he only hears how wonderful he is, how talented, how smart and everything like that. The child's self-esteem becomes so high that he is sure that he deserves more for nothing and will not put in any effort to achieve this more.

Parents themselves will do everything for him and will watch with admiration how he breaks toys (he is so inquisitive), how he offends children in the yard (he is so strong), etc. And when faced with real difficulties in life, he will deflate like a bubble.

Another, very vivid example of the birth of infantilism, the violent divorce of parents, when the child feels unnecessary. Parents sort things out among themselves, and the child becomes a hostage of these relations.

All the strength and energy of the parents is directed to “annoy” the other side. The child does not understand what is really happening and often begins to take responsibility for himself - dad left because of me, I was a bad son (daughter).

This burden becomes exorbitant and the emotional sphere is suppressed, when the child does not understand what is happening to him, and there is no adult nearby who would help him understand himself and what is happening. The child begins to "withdraw into himself", to isolate himself and live in his own world, where he is comfortable and well. The real world is presented as something frightening, evil and unacceptable.

I think that you yourself can give many such examples, and maybe you even recognize yourself or your parents in some way. Any result of upbringing that leads to the suppression of the emotional-volitional sphere leads to infantilism.

Just take your time to blame your parents for everything. This is very convenient and this is also one of the forms of manifestation of infantilism. Better look at what you are doing with your kids right now.

You see, in order to educate a person, you yourself need to be a person. And in order for a conscious child to grow up next to it, it is necessary that the parents also be conscious. But is it really so?

Are you dumping irritation on your children for your unresolved problems (suppression of the emotional sphere)? Are you trying to impose your vision of life on children (suppression of the volitional sphere)?

We unconsciously make the same mistakes that our parents made, and if we do not realize them, then our children will make the same mistakes in raising their children. Alas, this is so.

Once again for understanding:

Mental infantilism is an undeveloped emotional and volitional sphere;

Psychological infantilism is a suppressed emotional-volitional sphere.

How infantilism manifests itself

The manifestations of mental and psychological infantilism are practically the same. Their difference is that with mental infantilism, a person cannot consciously and independently change his behavior, even if he has a motive.

And with psychological infantilism, a person can change his behavior when a motive appears, but more often than not, he does not change from a desire to leave everything as it is.

Let's look at specific examples of the manifestation of infantilism.

A person has achieved success in science or art, but in everyday life he turns out to be completely unfit. In his activities, he feels himself to be an adult and competent, but an absolute child in everyday life and in relationships. And he is trying to find someone who will take over the sphere of life in which you can remain a child.

Adult sons and daughters continue to live with their parents and do not create their own families. With parents, everything is familiar and familiar, you can remain an eternal child, for whom all everyday problems will be solved.

Starting your own family means taking responsibility for your life and facing certain challenges.

Suppose that it becomes unbearable to live with parents, they also begin to demand something. If another person appears in a person's life, onto whom the responsibility can be shifted, then he will leave the parental home, and will continue to lead the same lifestyle as with his parents - not to take on anything and not be responsible for anything.

Only infantilism can push a man or woman to abandon his family, neglect his obligations in order to try to regain his departed youth.

Constantly changing jobs due to unwillingness to exert effort or gaining mythical experience.

The search for a "savior" or "magic pill" is also a sign of infantilism.

The main criterion is the inability and unwillingness to take responsibility for their lives, not to mention the lives of loved ones. And as they wrote in the comments: “The worst thing is to be with a person and to know that you cannot rely on him at a critical moment! Such people create families, give birth to children and shift the responsibility onto other shoulders! "

What infantilism looks like

It is not always possible at first glance to determine whether a person is infantile in front of you or not. Infantilism will begin to manifest itself in interaction, and especially at critical moments in life, when a person seems to slow down, does not make any decisions and expects someone to take responsibility for him.

Infantile people can be compared to eternal children who do not really care about anything. Moreover, they are not only not interested in other people, but they do not want themselves (psychological infantilism) or cannot (psychic) take care of themselves.

If we talk about male infantilism, then this is definitely the behavior of a child who needs not a woman, but a mother who takes care of him. Many women fall for this bait, and then begin to be indignant: “Why do I have to do all the time? And earn money, and maintain a house, and take care of children, and build relationships. And in general, is there a man nearby? "

The question immediately arises: “A man? Who did you marry? Who was the initiator of the acquaintance, meetings? Who made the decisions on how and where to spend the evening together? Who was always thinking about where to go and what to do? " These questions are endless.

If you took everything upon yourself from the very beginning, invented and did everything yourself, and the man simply obediently performed it, then did you marry an ADULT MAN? It seems to me that you married a CHILD. Only you were so in love that you didn't notice it right away.

What to do

This is the most important question that arises. Let's look at it first in relation to a child, if you are a parent. Then about an adult who continues to be a child in life. And the last thing, if you saw the features of infantilism in yourself and decided to change something in yourself, but you don’t know how.

1. What to do if you have an infantile child growing up.

Let's talk together - what do you want to get as a result of raising a child, what do you do and what needs to be done to get the desired result?

The task of each parent is to adapt the child to an independent life without parents as much as possible and teach him to live in interaction with other people so that he can create his own happy family.

There are several mistakes that lead to the development of infantilism. Here are some of them.

Mistake 1. Sacrifice

This mistake manifests itself when parents begin to live for their children, trying to give the child the best, so that he has everything, that he is dressed no worse than others, so that he can study at the institute, while denying himself everything.

One’s own life, as it were, becomes unimportant in comparison with the life of a child. Parents can work several jobs, be malnourished, sleep deprived, not take care of themselves and their health, if only the child is doing well, if only he learns and grows up as a human being. Most often, single parents do this.

At first glance, it seems that the parents put their whole soul into the child, but the result is disastrous, the child grows up unable to appreciate his parents and the care they gave.

What is really going on. From an early age, a child gets used to the fact that parents live and work only for the sake of their well-being. He gets used to getting everything ready. The question arises, if a person is used to getting everything ready, will he, then himself, be able to do something for himself or will he wait for someone to do for him?

And while not just waiting, but demanding with your behavior that you should, because there is no experience to do something on your own, and it was the parents who did not give this experience, because everything was always for him and only for his sake. He seriously does not understand why it should be different and how it is generally possible.

And the child does not understand why and for what he should be grateful to his parents, if it should be so. Sacrificing yourself is like mutilating your life and the life of a child.

What to do. You need to start with yourself, learn to value yourself and your life. If the parents do not value their life, the child will take it for granted and will also not value the life of the parents, and, therefore, the lives of other people. For him, life for his sake will become the rule in relationships, he will use others and consider it an absolutely normal behavior, because he was taught that way, he simply cannot do otherwise.

Think if the child is interested in you if you have nothing to give besides taking care of him? If nothing happens in your life that could attract a child, to share your interests, to feel like a member of a community - a family?

And is it worth it then to be surprised if the child will find entertainment on the side such as booze, drugs, mindless walks, etc., after all, he is used to only getting what he is given. And how can he be proud of you and respect you if you are nothing of yourself, if all your interests are only around him?

Mistake 2. "I'll spread the clouds with my hands" or I will solve all the problems for you

This mistake manifests itself in pity, when the parents decide that there will be enough problems for the child's life, and let him at least remain a child with them. And in the end, an eternal child. Pity can be caused by a lack of confidence that the child can take care of himself in some way. And mistrust, again, arises from the fact that the child was not taught to take care of himself on his own.

What it looks like:

"You are tired, take a rest, I will finish it."

“You’ll have time to work out more! Let me do it for you. "

"You still have to do your homework, okay, go, I'll wash the dishes myself."

“We need to come to an agreement with Marivanna so that she can tell who needs it so that you can go to study without any problems”

And stuff like that.

By and large, parents begin to feel sorry for their child, he is tired, he has a big load, he is small, does not know life. And the fact that the parents themselves do not rest and that they have no less load, and that not everyone themselves once knew, for some reason is forgotten about it.

All the homework, the arrangement in life, falls on the shoulders of the parents. “This is my child, if I don’t feel sorry for him, I don’t do something for him (read: for him), who else will take care of him? And after a while, when the child gets used to the fact that everything will be done for him, the parents wonder why the child is not adapted to anything and they have to do everything themselves. But for him this is already the norm of behavior.

What does this lead to. A child, if it is a boy, will look for a wife of the same kind, behind whose back one can warmly settle down and hide from the hardships of life. She feeds, strips and earns money, it is warm and reliable with her.

If the child is a girl, then she will look for a man who will play the role of a dad, who will solve all problems for her, support her and not burden her with anything.

What to do. First, pay attention to what your child is doing, what chores he does around the house. If not, then first of all it is necessary that the child has his own responsibilities.

It is not so difficult to teach a child to take out the trash, wash dishes, clean up toys and things, keep his room in order. But responsibilities must not only be imputed, but taught how and what to do and explain why. In no case should such a phrase sound like: "You must study well, this is your duty, and I will do everything around the house myself."

He must be responsible for his duties. The child is tired, not tired, it doesn't matter, in the end, you can rest and fulfill your duties, this is his responsibility. Isn't that what you yourself do? Does someone do something for you? Your task is to learn not to regret and not do the work for him, if you want him not to grow up infantile. It is pity and mistrust that a child can do something himself well and does not provide an opportunity to educate the volitional sphere.

Mistake 3. Excessive love, expressed in constant admiration, affection, elevation above others and permissiveness

What can this lead to. To the fact that he will never learn to love (and, therefore, to give), and parents as well. At first glance, it will seem that he knows how to love, but all his love, it is conditional and only in response, and with any comment, doubt about his “genius” or in the absence of admiration, it will “disappear”.

As a result of such upbringing, the child is sure that the whole world should admire and indulge him. And if this does not happen, then everyone around is bad, unable to love. Although it is he who is not capable of love, he was not taught to do so.

As a result, he will choose a protective phrase: “I am what I am and accept me that way, I don’t like it, I don’t hold”. He will take the love of others calmly for granted and, having no response inside, hurt those who love him, including his parents.

This is often perceived as a manifestation of selfishness, but the problem is much deeper, such a child does not have a developed emotional sphere. He just has nothing to love. Being in the center of attention all the time, he did not learn to trust his feelings and the child did not develop a sincere interest in other people.

Another option is when parents “protect” their child, who knocked on the threshold, in this way: “Wow, what a threshold is not good, offended our boy!”. From childhood, the child is taught that everyone around him is to blame for his troubles.

What to do. Again, you need to start with the parents, for whom it is also time to grow up and stop seeing in their child a toy, an object of adoration. A child is an independent autonomous personality, which for development needs to be in the real world, not the one invented by the parents.

The child must see and experience the whole gamut of feelings and emotions without running away or suppressing them. And the task of parents is to learn how to adequately respond to the manifestation of emotions, not to prohibit, not to calm down unnecessarily, but to analyze all situations that have caused negative emotions.

It is not at all necessary that someone else is "bad" and therefore your child is crying, look at the situation as a whole, what your child did wrong, teach him not to dwell on himself, but to go towards people himself, showing sincere interest in them and find ways out of difficult situations, without blaming others and yourself. But for this, as I already wrote, the parents themselves need to grow up.

Mistake 4. Clear guidelines and rules

It is very convenient for most parents when an obedient child grows up nearby, clearly following the instructions “to do this,” “not to do that,” “not to be friends with this boy,” “in this case, to do so,” etc.

They believe that all education is about command and control. But they do not at all think that they deprive the child of the ability to think independently and take responsibility for their actions.

As a result, they raise a soulless and thoughtless robot that needs clear instructions. And then they themselves suffer from the fact that if they didn’t say something, then the child didn’t do it. Here, not only the volitional, but also the emotional sphere is suppressed, because the child does not need to notice the emotional states of both his own and other people, and it becomes the norm for him to act only according to the instructions. The child lives in constant obsession with actions and complete emotional disregard.

What does this lead to? A person does not learn to think and becomes unable to think independently, he constantly needs someone who will give him clear instructions on what, how and when to do, he will always be guilty of others, those who did not "correct" his behavior, did not say what to do and how to proceed.

Such people will never take the initiative, and will always wait for clear and specific instructions. They will not be able to solve any complex problems.

What to do in such cases? Learn to trust the child, let him do something wrong, you just sort out the situation later and together you will find the right solution, together, and not for him. Talk to your child more, ask him to express his opinion, do not make fun of him if you don’t like his opinion.

And most importantly, not to criticize, but to analyze the situation, what was done wrong and how it could have been done differently, constantly asking the child's opinion. In other words, the child must be taught to think and reflect.

Mistake 5. "I myself know what the child needs"

This error is a variation of the fourth error. And it consists in the fact that parents do not listen to the true desires of the child. The child's desires are perceived as momentary whims, but they are not quite the same thing.

Whims are fleeting desires, and true desires are what the child dreams of. The purpose of such behavior of parents is the realization by the child of what the parents themselves could not realize (as options - family traditions, fictional images of the unborn child). By and large, the child is made a “second self”.

Once, in childhood, such parents dreamed of becoming musicians, famous athletes, great mathematicians, and now they are trying to realize their childhood dreams through a child. As a result, the child cannot find a hobby for himself, and if he does, the parents take it with hostility: "I know better what you need, so you will do what I tell you."

What does this lead to. In addition to the fact that the child will never have a goal at all, he will never learn to understand his desires, and will always be dependent on the desires of others and is unlikely to achieve any success in realizing the desires of his parents. He will always feel “out of place”.

What to do. Learn to listen to the child's desires, be interested in what he dreams of, what attracts him, teach him to express his desires out loud. Observe what attracts your child, what he enjoys doing. Never compare your child to others.

Remember, the desire for your child to become a musician, artist, famous athlete, mathematician is your desire, not a child's. Trying to instill your desires in a child, you make him deeply unhappy or achieve the opposite result.

Mistake 6. "Boys don't cry"

The inability of the parents themselves to express their emotions leads to the fact that the child's emotions begin to suppress. There is a ban on strong experiences of positive and negative emotions corresponding to the real situation, since the parents themselves do not know how to react to them.

And if you don’t know something, then often the choice is made towards leaving or banning. As a result, by forbidding the child to express their emotions, parents by and large forbid the child to feel, and ultimately - to live life to the fullest.

What does this lead to. Growing up, a child cannot understand himself, and he needs a “guide” who will explain to him what he is feeling. He will trust this person and completely depend on his opinion. Hence, conflicts arise between a man's mother and wife.

The mother will say one thing, and the wife another, and each will prove that exactly what she says the man feels. As a result, the man simply steps aside, giving women the opportunity to "sort things out" with each other.

What is really happening to him, he does not know and will follow the decision of the one who will win this war. As a result, he will always live someone's life, but not his own, and when he does not get to know himself.

What to do. Allow your child to cry, laugh, express himself emotionally, do not rush to calm down in such a way: “Okay, okay, everything will be fine”, “boys don’t cry”, etc. When a child is in pain, do not hide from his feelings, make it clear that you would be in pain in a similar situation, and you understand him.

Show compassion, let the child become familiar with the full range of feelings without suppression. If he is happy about something, rejoice with him; if he is sad, listen to what worries him. Show interest in your child's inner life.

Mistake 7. Transferring your emotional state to the child

Often, parents transfer their unsettledness and dissatisfaction with life to the child. This is expressed in constant nagging, raising your voice, and sometimes just in a breakdown on the child.

The child becomes hostage to the parent's dissatisfaction and is unable to resist it. This leads to the fact that the child "turns off", suppresses his emotional sphere and chooses psychological protection from the parent "withdrawal".

What does this lead to. Growing up, the child stops “hearing”, closes, and often simply forgets what was said to him, perceiving any words addressed to him as an attack. He has to repeat the same thing ten times in order for him to hear or give some kind of feedback.

From the outside, it looks like indifference or disregard for the words of others. It is difficult to come to an understanding with such a person, because he never expresses his opinion, and more often this opinion simply does not exist.

What to do. Remember, it's not your child's fault that your life isn't going the way you want it to. Not getting what you want is your problem, not his fault. If you need to let off steam, find more sustainable ways - scrub the floors, rearrange furniture, go to the pool, increase your physical activity.

Uncleaned toys, not washed dishes are not the reason for your breakdown, but only a reason, a reason within you. After all, it is your responsibility to teach your child how to clean up toys and wash dishes.

I have shown only basic errors, but there are many more.

The main condition for your child not to grow up infantile is to recognize him as an independent and free person, to show your trust and sincere love (not to be confused with adoration), support, not violence.

Instructions

Becoming an adult with a passport, an infantile person is not ready to build relationships with other members of society, it is difficult for him to find a job for the same reason. Everything would be fine, but such people get married early, and now all the care of them falls on the spouse. In marriage, all the negative character traits of the "child" are manifested very clearly: 1. Egocentrism, because he believes that the world revolves around him. 2. The inability to make decisions and the inability to exercise willpower is manifested in the little things. Dependency, and this is not only and not so much the material side of the issue. An adult child is not able to serve himself in everyday life, and if children appear in such a marriage, then the care for them is completely shifted to the spouse, who plays the role of the “elder”.

In such a situation, the growing up of an infantile person depends on the spouse or on the parents, if he is still on their support. And all actions should be aimed primarily at changing their own position. Usually in such a situation, the spouse, whose husband lies on the couch all day and refuses to take responsibility, begins to nag him. In response, he starts a game of. For a “child” to disappear, he must first lose his “parent”. And for this you need to take the position of an adult who has stopped caring about the "baby" and raising him.

The reaction of an infantile person, who was robbed of his bright rainbow world of irresponsibility, can be different. At first, he will try with all his might to return the situation to its previous state. Most likely, he will pretend to be helpless, press on pity. If the wife / mother will steadfastly hold on to the position of an adult, then the infantile will begin to heal from his ailment. The second variant of development - the "child" will lose interest and set off in search of a new "mother". If his mother made an attempt to cure, then he will run away from her into marriage; if the wife, then such a marriage will come to an end.

In fact, by overprotecting her child / husband, the mother / wife also gets something in return. She feels needed and useful. If the mother does not have enough arguments to change the situation, then she needs to come to an understanding that her child will not be in adulthood, that being unadapted to reality, he will suffer. Wives themselves often get tired of infantile husbands and they do not need to look for special arguments. Even if there is fear, you need to understand that a person and an infantile will not get along anyway.

Tip 2: What is the social activity of society

Social activity is a certain set of forms and types of human and society activity, the purpose of which is to solve the problems posed to society, a social group and various classes. The tasks depend on the historical period. The object of social activity can be both a person and a collective, a group and society as a whole.

Features of social activity

In sociology, several types of social activity are considered - a phenomenon, a state and an attitude. From a psychological point of view, the state is considered the main type of social activity. It is based on the interests of society and its needs in a given period of time and is viewed as an internal readiness for action.

The peculiarity of social activity is the transformation of beliefs and ideas into the actions of society. The social activity of a society depends on its leader. He has a strong influence on the beliefs and ideas of society at one time or another. The level of social activity of the society depends on this. The manifestation of social activity occurs when a person realizes his social significance and acts in the aggregate of social and personal motives. This is impossible without a certain freedom of society, which consists in the fact that citizens have the right to participate in the development of society or in local self-government, without coercion.

Types of manifestation of social activity

Dependent activity - complaints and inquiries, consisting in the requirement from the administrative authorities to solve the problems of citizens. Often these are inquiries and complaints that are not within the competence of the administrative authorities. Constructive activity - proposals and ideas for changing the activities of administrative bodies, to improve the living conditions of the population and a favorable arrangement of territories. Partnerships between the administration and the population. Fictitious demonstrative activity - they are used to increase statistical data. Certain publications in the media are paid for. Protest activity is the opposition of society to the activities of administrative bodies, without offering alternative solutions. It is presented in the form of rallies, strikes, boycotts or hunger strikes.

Social activity of Russian society

In our time, the social activity of Russian society is very low.
Excluding elections, only a quarter of the population takes part in other forms of social activity. The rest of the citizens believe that their social activity is meaningless. According to research in Russia, social activity takes a fictitious and demonstrative form. This is due to the fact that the majority of citizens believe that everything has already been decided and it remains to make the appearance of a decision. Because of this, there is a low level of social activity in society.

Undergrown children

“Ah, children, children! So great is their faith in motherly love that it seemed to them that they could afford to be heartless for a little more! " (James Barry. Peter Pan)

Peter Pan, the hero of a good old children's fairy tale, a classic representative of an underage teenager, moreover, refusing to grow up, provoking by his actions to an inadequate reaction, selfish, often indifferent, irritable, arrogant, but requiring exclusive attention. Peter Pan is an infantile modern personality.

As a rule, infantilism is a consequence of modern upbringing. In other historical eras, due to the family and clan structure, children were taught almost from infancy to be responsible both for their actions and for the well-being of the family. The modern way of life is undoubtedly good in that it makes our everyday life easier, but also thereby, blurs the boundaries of responsibility for survival, does not pose from childhood a dilemma of making momentous responsible decisions on which not only well-being, but also the life of the whole family depends.

Several years ago, American anthropologist Carolina Izquierdo from the University of California published a paper in which she raised the topic of growing up by comparing archaic and modern upbringing. In this work, she described two: first, the attitude towards raising a 6-year-old child in the Peruvian Matsigenka tribe living in the Amazon, in which Carolina spent several months, and the second, episodes from the life of an ordinary American family.

So, the first situation: one day, members of the tribe went on a two-day "expedition" to collect food for the entire tribe. A little girl of 6 years old asked to be taken with them. Although she did not yet have a clearly defined role in the tribal community, she became a full and useful member of the expedition: she carried sleeping mats, caught, cleaned and boiled crayfish for all members of the expedition, independently deciding to do it. She was calm, self-possessed and did not demand anything for herself personally.

The second situation from the work of an anthropologist relates to the life of an ordinary American middle-class family: an 8-year-old girl, not finding a device next to a plate of cereal, sat for ten minutes and waited for it to be served, while a 6-year-old boy tried to persuade his father to he untied his laces on his sneakers.

The main features of infantilism

Infantilism is congenital, but most often it is acquired and depends on upbringing. An adult infantile person is a disaster, first of all, for his loved ones, for his family members, if he manages to have one. But even in the sphere of industrial relations, infantile people cannot be called a gift of fate.

An infantile person usually shows emotional and volitional immaturity, he is unreliable, irresponsible and avoids making any decisions, gladly shifting responsibility to others. Infantiles are fixated on themselves and they are only worried about their own whims and goals, although they can quite successfully hide behind beautiful phrases or even actions, but, alas, in any case, they are based on concern only for personal convenience, well-being and satisfaction of needs. As a rule, they almost always find someone who solves their problems, takes care of them and takes them under their wing.

But how charming and attractive infantiles are - these eternal children! They are as different as they are attractively beautiful, like Peter Pan and Carlson - the archetypes-representatives of infantile individuals: their element is an eternal celebration of life, where they give attention and gifts.

Something, but they not only love to have fun, but also know how like no one else, and if life was always only a holiday, then there is no better companion for this: with an infantile person, fun is guaranteed until ... Before the first decision is made whether he is cold or wants there is. And if you are ready to make all subsequent decisions for him - forward to the eternal fairy tale, in which the further, the more terrible.

Infantile personality disorder is a person's condition in which he does not have emotional balance. At the same time, the influence on him of non-standard situations, stress and other troubles causes a pronounced negative emotional reaction, which leads to a disorder of the entire emotional sphere. A person cannot control their feelings of hostility, anxiety, or guilt. Behavioral tendencies that are characteristic of young children appear. Such people are prone to excessive resentment, negativity, self-will, and so on.

The patient may outwardly be no different from other people, but his behavior will betray problems with decision-making, responsibility for his behavior, and lack of independence.

The person shows childish features. At first he does not want, then he cannot make independent decisions, he constantly seeks support for his decisions and opinions. He is not flexible in life: in difficult situations he acts only according to the script that is laid down in his family, familiar from childhood. Such a person also cannot change anything in a relationship in order to differ from the parental family, this will plunge him into a stressful situation for the psyche. Such people will not necessarily be completely obedient. Among the infantiles, there are also rebels who want to constantly refute parental rules and attitudes. But in the end, they always start from parental stereotypes, acting according to them or contrary to them.

In adulthood, infantile people find it difficult to build long-term relationships. It is generally very difficult for women with an infantile man, for men it is easier with such women. But these relationships are not durable, as sooner or later a partner who is healthy from infantilism will want an adult relationship on an equal footing, which the second partner cannot give without behavior correction. There are many difficulties for such couples, which often both sides do not overcome: infantile people do not seek to take responsibility for difficult relationships, and the other side gets tired of pulling all the hardships of such relationships.

Infantilism has recently been inherent in many children and adults. More and more adolescents, young people grow up, not submitting to any restrictions in behavior, not understanding how to do it not what you want, but what you need. They do not take responsibility for their actions, they get used to the fact that someone else is responsible and decides for them. Patients have very poor control over anxiety, fear, aggression. The diagnosis confirming this disorder can be made only after 17 years, when puberty has passed, hormonal changes have ended.

The reasons for this disorder

There are many reasons for infantilism, as with all personality disorders. It should be borne in mind that this is a type of psychopathy, therefore, the causes of the disorder can be social, physiological, psychological factors.

These factors are fundamental in the formation of infantile disorder. A person's emotional sphere becomes unstable, and even minor stresses can lead to an exacerbation of the disorder.

Treatment of this pathology

Treatment of infantile disorder is rather difficult in the first time after the manifestations of pathology. This is due to the fact that initially the disorder is not perceived as a pathology of personality behavior. Others notice some oddities in behavior, but they associate this with the characterological characteristics of the person, referring, for example, to her laziness, slowness, frivolity and others. Already in adulthood, it is possible to determine the disorder by specific manifestations, when the wrong attitudes of the personality's behavior are already deeply rooted.

Often this problem is considered in the plane of psychological science, since the treatment does not require the use of drugs. Therefore, only psychotherapeutic techniques and approaches are used. But in extreme, borderline states, it is possible to use medications.

Drug treatment

Medicines are not the main treatment for infantile disorder. They are used in case of a pronounced exacerbation of the patient's condition, when another personality disorder or depressive state is added to this disorder.

This condition is called mixed personality disorder in psychiatry. They occur quite rarely, and the symptoms of the phenomenon appear depending on the associated pathology. Also, medication treatment depends on the degree of development of the disorder. If emotional instability reaches an unacceptable level, it is possible to use herbal remedies with a sedative effect or other similar drugs. Often used are Valerian, Glycine or Gilicidal, herbal infusions with a sedative effect.

If the disorder is accompanied by a depressive state, doctors sometimes prescribe antidepressants that help a person restore metabolism and help improve physical well-being. New generation antidepressants are made in such a way that the risk of side effects that lead to depression of the human nervous system, toxic effects on the human liver and others is reduced to a minimum.

The use of medications on your own is strictly prohibited, since the dosage and course of treatment is determined only by the attending physician.

Psychotherapy

Psychotherapy is the main method of treating this pathology. "Healing conversations" help a person to become aware of their infantile behavior, to look at their actions from the outside, to work out the wrong attitudes in life, replacing them with rational beliefs. Psychotherapy is carried out using several directions in psychology. The most effective of these are cognitive-behavioral psychotherapy, psychoanalysis, classical and Ericksonian hypnosis.

Cognitive-behavioral psychotherapy

This type of psychological therapy combines several areas of psychology, therefore it is rightfully recognized as one of the most effective. Psychotherapists working in this direction pay attention to the patient's perception of the doctor, structuring the session and changing the cognitive and behavioral components of the personality.

An infantile personality will always shift responsibility for his condition and behavior to the psychotherapist at the first meetings. This requires the professionalism of a specialist in order to show empathy and sympathy for the patient's condition, but also not to take responsibility for his actions.

Psychotherapists who use this area to treat infantile disorder help a person detect automatic thoughts charged with negativity, find connections between these thoughts and the patient's behavior, analyze these automatic thoughts with him in order to confirm or deny their reliability. The therapist helps to formulate these thoughts more realistically, which helps the patient to realize that his statements are wrong. The main goal of the psychologist should be the transformation of erroneous statements that lead to infantile disorder.

Of course, the educational situation in childhood and adolescence plays the main role in this phenomenon. It is imposed on the child that he is still small, it is too early to take responsibility for any business, since you can harm yourself or objects. The caregiving adult does everything for him, which kills his initiative, responsibility, hard work, and courage. A similar situation is with excessive criticism. When children try to do something (the zone of proximal development according to Vygotsky - a child at certain moments is ready to develop psychologically and physically, to learn something new and perform certain tasks), their slightest error is perceived as a grave sin. Such a child grows up with the conviction that it is impossible to take on anything, since then there will be criticism, any initiative is necessarily punished, and so on.

Having identified such irrational beliefs, automatic negative thoughts, the therapist teaches the patient the right actions.

Psychoanalysis

Psychoanalysis helps to work through grievances against significant adults, to determine triggered psychological defenses, at any undertaking or taking responsibility for the slightest task. The psychoanalyst devotes quite a lot of time to studying the psychological situation in childhood, which led to a deviation in behavior.

Help is also provided in accepting oneself with one's inner problems. The doctor, together with the patient, determines which situations make him want to return to childhood, what exactly in adult life leads to stereotypes of child behavior, memories of childhood.

Important! If this method is used to treat infantile disorder, the doctor must be highly qualified, otherwise (if the experience is small or there is not much knowledge in this direction), the patient's condition can be significantly worsened. This personality disorder is closely related to the emotional sphere of a person, and classical psychoanalysis is not used in the treatment of emotional psychosis.

For treatment, psychoanalytic methods are used to illuminate the patient's inner world, his feelings. You can actively use art therapy - a method based on psychoanalysis. Treatment lasts 3 to 5 years.

Hypnosis

Freudian or Ericksonian hypnosis is used for treatment. In the first case, directive methods are used, in the second, softer methods of influencing the patient's psyche. Freudian hypnosis has recently become less popular, since the patient becomes completely dependent on the doctor's wishes and opinions. This does not allow to completely neutralize the usual forms of pathological behavior. Hypnosis is used in extreme situations when a person suffers from serious forms of the disease.

To get rid of this pathology will require maximum effort on the part of the patient and his environment. For positive dynamics, it is necessary to introduce a daily routine, sports exercises, try to communicate more. The development of self-control will help to overcome the symptoms of the disorder by setting yourself insignificant tasks at first, bringing them to the end and analyzing the effort expended, time and quality of the result.

Any personality disorder includes a system of characteristics that violate the generally accepted behavioral standards of society. In any case, the patient experiences a negative attitude from society, which results in problems with adaptation. Such disorders are difficult to treat, because the individual transfers the blame to his environment, which does not perceive him, and does not feel the need for medical attention. There are several types of personality disorders. This article focuses on infantile disorder.

Why does it arise?

Infantile personality disorder according to ICD-10 (International Classification of Diseases) belongs to the section "Other specific personality disorders" (F60.8). One of the most common factors in the onset of the disease is considered to be heredity. In addition to the presence of ancestors with mental pathologies, alcoholic parents can be attributed to the reasons: sick children are most often born in such a family.

Uncontrolled anger and aggression can provoke hormonal imbalances. Often the reason for the propensity to depressive states is the insufficient production of the hormone of happiness - endorphin.

Some of the symptoms in children can be attributed to inappropriate developmental conditions. For example, hyperactivity is a consequence of a lack of space, stiffness of movement. Emotionally unstable parents or other people who are constantly around the child are worrisome. But a balanced atmosphere in the family helps to reduce the severity of symptoms of disorders.

Signs of Infantile Personality Disorder

The consciousness of a patient with this mental illness was extremely immature. He does not adapt to stressful situations: like a child, a person diagnosed with "infantile personality disorder" is unable to plan, is confused and fearful.

The disease can be detected already in adolescence. Constant changes in hormonal levels in adolescents often provoke emotional leaps. Difficulties arise in identifying infantile disorder in children who have some of which can be perceived as justification for making this diagnosis. It should be understood that it is optimal to put it when a person is already 16 years old.

Symptoms become more pronounced with age. The disorder manifests itself in the fact that the patient cannot control any emotions: joy, fear, anger, anxiety.

Living in an imaginary world, a person with infantile personality disorder cannot cope with the brutal realities. When faced with difficulties, these people panic. In addition, they are easily excitable, emotional, panicky and avoidance of responsibility, they often have mood swings.

Such pathological manifestations are not included in the permissible norm, therefore, the disorder should not be confused with clearly manifested character traits (accentuation), which are on the border of the norm. The difference is that the accentuated person has no adaptation problems.

Types of Infantile Disorders

Depending on the symptoms and emotional state of the patient, 4 types of infantile disorders can be distinguished:

Should a patient with infantile disorder be enlisted in the military?

Due to constant nervous tension, patients with infantile personality disorder are not admitted to the army. The same applies to any service in military conditions, work in power structures.

General patterns of treatment

Treatment for infantile personality disorder is usually difficult. The complexity of treatment can be explained by the fact that psychotherapists most often have to work with people who have an advanced stage of the disease with pronounced symptoms. The success of therapy also largely depends on a quality diagnosis.

Most often, specialists carry out treatment with psychotherapeutic methods. When symptoms of other abnormalities are added to Infantile Personality Disorder, specialists treat with medication.

Treatment of Infantile Borderline Disorder

Treatment for this type of abnormality often involves a flexible plan that combines different techniques. The following methods can be used:

(aimed at eradicating negative thinking models from the patient's consciousness).
Dialectical behavioral therapy (develops the skills to overcome unwanted reactions).
Cognitive - based on awareness (prevention of relapse by referring to the patient's consciousness and thinking).
Group therapy.
Finding a point in the patient's visual field, eye contact with which will lead to improvement (Brainspotting).

Treatment of Infantile Theater-Type Disorder

The most effective method to combat this problem is group therapy. Communication with the team helps to build the atmosphere of trust and mutual understanding necessary for treatment. In combination with group therapy, other methods are used:

Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy.
Yoga and Meditation.
Social interaction psychotherapy.
Brainspotting.

Treatment of Infantile Narcissistic Type Disorder

Therapy largely depends on whether the patient is aware of the problem and is ready to deal with it. Psychotherapists most often use:

Treatment of Infantile Antisocial Disorder

Antisocial disorder is difficult to treat. Often doctors use psychotherapy, but this method is rarely effective. He is powerless if the symptoms of the disease are severe or the patient is unwilling to admit that he has serious problems. Often, it is possible to diagnose the disease only by clarifying the patient's attitude towards loved ones.

There are no specific medications for treating antisocial disorder. Psychotherapists prescribe drugs only to relieve certain symptoms, such as aggression, anxiety, or depression.

In most cases, it brings a lot of suffering to the people around it. There are support groups for families and friends of people with antisocial disabilities to cope with aggression and to protect themselves from violence and anger. If you have a loved one with this personality disorder, it is very important that you also receive psychological help.

Until now, the diagnosis of infantile personality disorders is extremely difficult, since it is impossible to bring all patients under one pattern of the development of the disease. The most important thing in treatment is to find a qualified doctor who can draw up an individual treatment plan that takes into account all the features of the course of the disease.

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