Causes of women's dissatisfaction. Existential frustration

What could it be from? constant nervousness and feelings of dissatisfaction? As if I had lost the meaning of life? I recently received a letter with such questions through the feedback form. In this section there is a new answer from a happiness psychologist.

Lost the meaning of life.

Losing the meaning of life - a common symptom accompanied by nervousness, insomnia, apathy and severe stress.

Self-dissatisfaction is the scourge of our time. Constant dissatisfaction with oneself is the main symptom of the negative life position “I am bad.” (c) Psychologist of Happiness.

How satisfied and satisfied are you with yourself?

Symptoms of self-dissatisfaction.

• I don’t understand what’s going on and what’s stopping me

• Anxiety about the future

• Desire to take it to the next level

• Feeling of a “mess in life”, a dead end, a swamp

• Doubts about yourself and the correctness of your decisions

• I feel like I'm going in the wrong place

• I don’t see a way out, a feeling of intractability of some problems

• Unsolvable situation

• "Swamp", "dead end"

• Irritability

• No goals! I don’t really understand what I want!

• Melancholy, depressed, depressed mood

• Already from the text of the letters, symptoms and signs of a depressive scenario are visible:

  • Depressive life position (I -, You +). Characterized by low self-esteem and withdrawal from interaction with the outside world - into oneself or into.

  • Lack of self-love. Yet again low self-esteem. Constant apologies about “I’m doing something wrong.” Self-criticism and self-irony with which the entire text is imbued. The “excellent student syndrome” is evident.

  • Post stress state. Life consists of a series of stresses directly related to the chosen position in life. there will not necessarily be apathy. This may be accumulated aggression, and, as in in this case, increasing the level of anxiety up to and including phobias.

  • Early script decision. The main thing was clearly taken at the age of 5-6 years and is directly related to the departure of the father and scenes of quarrels between the parents. Then, as can be seen from the letter, it is confirmed in adolescence and is now strengthening. What kind of decision is this and how it determines satisfaction with life and oneself, a change to an adult decision is mainly the subject of scenario therapy.

  • Psychological games. Their analysis is also the subject of consultation with a psychologist. For now, it is clear that the reader enters the game as the Victim and leaves, saving herself, as the Persecutor.

  Summing up summary This initial analysis, I will add that it is better not to delay the consultation, since the exacerbation of negative psychological states directly indicates that the scenario has reached its climax.

“Hello, dear organizers of the “I am a Woman” project. I am 40 years old, I have a family and three children. I am in constant search for the meaning of life. The presence of some kind of dissatisfaction with life does not leave me, the feeling of not having a place in this life, it simply drives me into a frenzy. I don’t understand what else I need? Everything seems to be fine: the children are healthy, the husband loves and cares. And this makes it even worse. I don’t feel spiritual fulfillment. Yearning!

I’m looking for a problem in myself: maybe I don’t love? I broke up with my first love because he was married and decided to save the family for the sake of the child. I met my future husband on the second day after moving to a new place of residence. He immediately fell in love with me. I told him about my pain and that I didn’t know if I could love anyone else like that.
Time passed, we got married, our children were born. But the longing for first love never went away. Lived long years in hopes of forgetting him.
Recently I met my first love again, and feelings flared up even more powerfully for both of them. He was never happy: a few years later he divorced his wife. But I was never able to love my husband. I never looked at him as a man. I got married and thought if I could endure it, I would fall in love. I'm completely confused.
And now my loved one is asking me to get married and really wants a baby. And I really want to go to him. This is a state of flight, happiness and love. I must have gone crazy. Or maybe I confuse love with something else, and it’s just my ego. I don’t know what to do next or how to live, I’m completely confused. On the one hand, family and children. On the other hand, my beloved man with whom I dream of being close. I feel like an ungrateful bastard towards my family. But I can no longer live as before. I'm at a dead end, although I know that there are no dead ends. I can't find a way out yet. I really hope to hear your opinion on this matter. Thank you in advance. Larisa."
Psychologist Alla Jansons answers:
"Hello! You're not crazy, it's just time to meet new information about myself.
Who is a WOMAN? This is a set of desires to receive pleasure.
Every woman has three types of desires:
1. Bodily, also characteristic of animal nature(everything related to maintaining your body, plus the desire for family (safety).
2.Human, selfish desires. We are developing over animal nature, thirsting for power and glory, striving to rise above others. These desires apply only to the human race. Animals don't have this.
3. Above bodily and human desires lies a desire directed towards science, towards wisdom. It is also unique to humans. I want to know why and what I live for, how nature works, what is happening around, how one thing is connected to another.
In reality, I am in a certain sphere called “nature” and am slowly “scraping” pieces of information from it, and then checking the accumulated material. This is my “science”. Tomorrow I will discover new laws of nature. Do they still exist today? Of course they exist, but I'm not smart enough to spot them. Step by step, developing science, we are discovering new patterns inherent in nature.
Thus, we are composed of three types of desires: animal, human and scientific. In each person these desires make up different combinations. One is more attracted by science, another by wealth or power, and for the third, ordinary life is quite enough: football, a can of beer - and the head does not hurt about anything. Everyone is built in their own way, there are no good or bad, any person has all three types of desires, and he reaches for those of them that dominate the rest.
Everyone occupies a place in society that corresponds to his combination of properties. Eventually, different people find suitable activities for themselves in society, building their family, environment and life accordingly.
You are now “confused” due to the fact that you do not sort your states (good or bad) according to the type of desire to which they relate.
You now need to make a calculation at the level of bodily desires: sex, safety, housing, living expenses, the ability to solve problems, the opinions of others: children, neighbors, parents, relatives.
In each of your desires you want to receive pleasure. For example: in the desire “children” you want to receive fulfillment - respect from children, in the desire “husband” - to receive security. And in the desire for “love”, you want to get “sex” with your beloved man, with whom you get the greatest fulfillment in the desire for sex. Very often a woman confuses love with good sex.
In the desire “what will others think of you if you leave for your man,” your desire to feel respect from those around you (neighbors, relatives, etc.) is triggered.
There is a constant “internal calculation” going on. This is how we “balance” in life: which desire is greater and stronger, “has the upper hand over us.”
Identify the most problematic areas and think about them. Everything will be resolved on its own.
My advice: figure it out for yourself, What is love. If a person begins to study this concept, he will see that at every second he is in the best for him external conditions, which generally change without his will.

Someone once said that death - not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies within us when we live...

Dissatisfaction with life. Signs

Do you know which one is today? current problem in the world? Poverty, hunger, disease? Addiction to drugs, smoking and food that kills people? Lack of freedom, war or political intrigue? Or ecological problems? Environmental pollution, global warming and change climatic zones? None of the above! The most a big problem in the world today is a misfortune. Feeling unhappy, suffering more people than from diseases, troubles associated with environment, and other man-made problems combined. Misfortune leads to aggression, destruction, war, violence... Happy people do not wish harm to others. Everything a person does in his life ultimately has one single goal - to be happy. But every year the situation related to the mental well-being of people becomes more acute. It is believed that the very concept of happiness is very vague and incomprehensible. However, most people are fully aware of what it is. By happiness, people mean satisfaction with life and joy. Joy is an emotional component, and satisfaction is a cognitive (mental) component; this is a comparative assessment of how prosperous everything was and remains. Basic component of happiness.

Life modern man- this is a variety of important areas: home, health and physical form, rest and pleasure, family, money, work, self-realization, etc. different periods Some areas are more prosperous, while others become sources of dissatisfaction. And then a person has two options: take an active position and start changing something, or a passive one: simply “drift” in the hope that everything will work out. But nothing changes in itself! If problems are not resolved in time, the number of areas of dissatisfaction grows like a snowball. A number of questions accumulate, which, as a rule, a person pushes to the periphery of consciousness: they pop up before going to bed, spoiling one’s appetite and mood. Meanwhile, remarkable mental energy is needed to maintain them in such a “suspended” state (about the same as if you had to hold a car camera under water with both hands). Dissatisfaction with life increases gradually and affects self-esteem and overall vitality. By the way, do you know the famous joke about how to boil a frog? The recipe is very simple. Under no circumstances should you immediately throw a frog into boiling water! She will jump out. After all, all its receptors (like human receptors) are tuned to instant and strong threats. The frog should be placed in cool water and slowly begin to heat up. At first she will feel good, then worse, but not so much as to indicate a critical danger. Swimming in warm water, it will gradually cook! By not recognizing one’s problems, thinking that everything will work out on its own, a person greatly harms himself. And, above all, because the most dangerous threats are slow ones.

Here's what typical symptoms of life dissatisfaction look like:

• I don’t understand what’s going on and what’s stopping me
• Feeling of unfulfillment, fear of inadequacy
• Anxiety about the future
• Desire to take it to the next level
• Feeling of a “mess in life”, a dead end, a swamp
• Fatigue, exhaustion
• Doubts about yourself and the correctness of your decisions
• I feel like I'm going in the wrong place
• Maeta
• Recurring Scenarios
• I don’t see a way out, a feeling of intractability of some problems
• Unsolvable situation
• Fatigue, joylessness, dependence on other people's opinions,
• "Swamp", "dead end"
• Irritability
• Repetitive scenarios, situations
• No goals! I don’t really understand what I want!
• Melancholy, depressed, depressed mood
• Dissatisfaction with oneself, decreased self-confidence, decreased self-esteem
• Sleep disorders (insomnia, drowsiness)
• Passivity, difficulty engaging in purposeful activity

Dissatisfaction – leads to despondency. It is similar to a disease that spreads from one organ to another, from sick to healthy, and ultimately affects the entire body. By the way, today it is no secret to anyone that a constant feeling of dissatisfaction with life actually leads to a number of diseases. Today, medicine classifies the causes of the following diseases as psychosomatic: arterial hypertension; peptic ulcer and duodenum; bronchial asthma; psoriasis; diabetes; glaucoma; rheumatoid arthritis; cancer; infectious and other diseases... Feelings of dissatisfaction with life are a failure and an indicator that something in life goes on wrong. The ability to feel pain is given to us by nature as a way of self-preservation. A normal physical reaction when a person touches a hot stove with his hand is to withdraw his hand. Reflexively, we know that we CANNOT feel pain! If there is pain, it means something is wrong. But we take mental pain and growing psychological discomfort for granted, and the feeling of dissatisfaction with life is the norm. This is partly dictated by upbringing, mentality, partly by the lack of skills to pay attention to one’s spiritual needs. One way or another, the result of dissatisfaction with life is manifested in the fact that people who are successful in the generally accepted sense suffer from depression, neuroses, and are constantly irritated.

Dissatisfaction with life always begins with dissatisfaction with oneself. As children, we live and do what we want. When we become adults and independent people, responsibilities, obligations and standards become the inertial force that moves our lives. Not interest, joy, curiosity, finally... I recently heard one adult man say: “ that I am too small to rejoice..." (!) In the process of socialization, society “cuts down” and makes us, rather, comfortable, but not happy. We are enmeshed in responsibilities, and if we don’t have them, we invent them ourselves in order to drown out the growing unclear symptoms. Symptoms that say we don’t listen to ourselves, don’t trust ourselves, live our only life with other people's goals. But as soon as we start doing what is important to society (family members, bosses, friends, etc.), and not to ourselves, this aching melancholy and pain arises. Not physical pain, but another - dissatisfaction with life - this is also a type of pain. It will arise in order to say: “You, Vasily, now are not doing what is important to YOU. You are now doing what is important to your friend Petya (your wife Nina, your country, your boss at work, etc.).” And when we hear this pain, we need to decide how to deal with it: Should we endure it or treat it?..

Fear change – nothing compared

With feeling of one's own uselessness.

Eric Shinseki,US Army Chief of Staff

Perfect Happiness

Although the question “What do you need to be happy?” today often reformulated as “How much do you need to be happy?”, satisfaction is by no means directly related to material well-being. In sociology, the “Easterlin Paradox” is known, which consists in the fact that the level of life satisfaction increases with increasing income only among the poor. But when income reaches the average per capita level (the situation is “like everyone else’s”), further income growth is practically not connected with an increase in the subjective feeling of happiness. It is known that there are two types of satisfaction - temporary and permanent. Temporary satisfaction manifests itself depending on external factors. If everything is fine in the outside world, here good mood. But when things are not going well in the outside world, we are far from happy. Even minor external problems unsettle us for a long time and make us unhappy. Man replaces true joy with pleasure. Permanent contentment is a state in which true happiness does not depend on external circumstances, this is an internal feeling of balance and fullness of life. Sometimes we experience the feeling of “I can’t do this anymore, I’m doing at least something to change”, pushing us to action. Zones like this expressed Everyone has their own dissatisfaction, but the most common ones people seek help with are:

• Self-realization— when outwardly successful people in their careers realize that their profession does not add happiness to them, but, as one client puts it, “consistently causes a gag reflex,” there is a need to find something new or modify an existing business so that it brings joy and meaning .
• Awareness of life goals- when the “feeling that I’m going somewhere in the wrong direction” forces you to look for your own path, there is a desire to set priorities and realize real life goals.
• Job when daily professional activity evokes the feeling that: “I deserve more, better, they don’t treat me like that, I’m not realizing my abilities and capabilities, there’s no prospects, there’s no space, there’s no freedom,” etc. Often there are feelings nearby: I can’t cope, I’m here bad, uncomfortable, work causes irritation, illness, fatigue.
• Relationships, marriage, loneliness, love triangles, any problems in relationships can affect us very deeply. It’s not without reason that they say that we all came into this life with a single lesson - to learn how to build relationships.

Problems in marriage are also directly related to life satisfaction. Often the description of the relationship between spouses sounds like: “We live normally”, “No worse than other people” (and behind these phrases lies monotony, boredom, colorlessness of life, lack of joy, nostalgic memories of the time before marriage.) As in the one-liner: “I I’m not very married, but I’m getting along...” But more often we suffer for a long time from “smoldering”, poorly realized dissatisfaction. In the initial stage, it manifests itself in the form of doubts, feelings of infidelity of what is happening, confusion; in a prolonged form - SIGNIFICANTLY wastes our vitality, causes a drop in self-esteem, confidence, leads to a decrease in energy, apathy, reluctance to act and illness. The reasons for contacting a coach specializing in this topic are endless. The scale of the problems can be any. But in any case, working on dissatisfaction, even in some narrow aspect, helps improve life in many areas at the same time. Here are recent case studies. A young manager contacts him about a bad relationship with his boss, as a result he gets what he wants (the boss’s trust and affection), improves family relationships (they are now expecting a third child), sorted out his relationship with his brother, received an offer to head a division in Moscow, and was included in the composition of the founders of a large holding, traveled to Italy and China. Another example: A woman, 37 years old, Moscow, came to me about “a mess in life,” a lack of understanding of herself and the absence of a family. As a result, he clearly understands his aspirations in a real job. Has a ready career and financial plan for 1 year. In 1.5 years, he plans to work at the UN (this is not a joke!) or the European Union Commission on Humanitarian Affairs. Determined by family.

There's no problem

to find new thoughts in your head.

The problem is getting kicked outold ones from there.

Dee Hock, President of Visa

How to find a way out of the situation

Since satisfaction is still the cognitive side of happiness, born of the mind and consciousness, it clearly manifests itself when compared with the outside world or successful past experiences. But often we “look not where we lost, but where there is light,” and usually compare popular things: hip volume and breast size, car brands and quantity public companies, the age of the wives and the number of mistresses, bank accounts and other obvious things. But when we get what we want, we suddenly realize that it did not make us happier. For example, when a person buys a wonderful new car, he expects that happiness will arrive immediately. And so! It's finished! Hands on the steering wheel, leather interior, “correct” brand, and in my eyes the question: I should be happy... am I happy? How often do life events push us to pay attention to our true values, how often do we abandon the present, relying on other people's ideas. The social pressure is enormous. Portraits of ideal happiness have been replicated, and we simply choose our lives from the next gloss. Therefore, living our unique life, we know for sure:

• what do you have successful businessman any failures only increase capital,
• that happy married couples understand each other perfectly, have sex every day, and experience orgasm exclusively at the same time;
• What excess weight starts from 58 kg. with a height of 170 cm;
• that a Real Woman effortlessly, with a smile, in stiletto heels and a peignoir, cooks, coos with her husband, plays with children, and makes great money at the same time;
• What A real man knows how to assemble and disassemble his car, loves football, and constantly experiences sexual desire;
• that we are obliged to love the relatives of our spouses... but you never know the standards on which we rely.

Of course, in the same gloss, with a refrain and small letters (almost like “The Ministry of Health warns”), it is explained to us that we are unique and, in fact, “size is not the main thing” (as a rule, this is told to us by a well-groomed and photoshopped girl in clothes of a popular designer or a sort of James Bond opening the door latest model“Bentley”) Take a file of glossy magazines from 5-8 years ago, by a lucky chance I got such a collection: the then happy standard couples broke up long ago, fashion has changed, the true details and facts of events, etc., have been revealed, you can see the real value of things and events, which were guidelines for us at that time. Our loved ones offer us a less beautiful, but much more categorical choice of standards of happiness. Instilled family values ​​give scenarios for life. But sometimes we stop understanding whether to rejoice or cry. For example, if it is customary in the family to get married before the age of 25, and you are already 30 and starting a family is not your priority, you must admit that you will have to deal with dumb or open questions and exhortations on this topic at all family celebrations. To avoid this, you need a strong internal motive, a feeling that you are in harmony with yourself and your decision does not need approval... This applies to any of your decisions. And the sooner this motive appears, the more complete the satisfaction with life will be. Because it’s hard to feel satisfied when, closer to forty, you realize that you’re still doing something only because your mom said so. Often, having already had our own families, we continue to reproduce the attitude to life formed by several generations of our ancestors. Even if we are as unhappy as they are. But unhappy parents cannot make their children happy. Education, as the famous teacher said, is only love and personal example. Therefore, no matter how much you tell your children and convince yourself that all your suffering is for their happiness in the future, the only thing they will learn is -1. that during their childhood (which they will also not have again) you were not around, and 2. in order to achieve something, you need to experience discomfort and torment. Here you go new script for future generations of your family. Is this what you really want? (Understand which generic scenarios are realized in your life and you can change them by visiting “”).

Just do it.

Coaching. The way to get rid of dissatisfaction with life

Suffering is not a liability, there are no small or unimportant problems.

Everything about your life has value!

Often, the shortest and most guaranteed way to get rid of life dissatisfaction is for successful people becomes . However, in fairness, we note that “not all coaches are equally useful.” What is needed is a coach who specializes in issues of dissatisfaction. Working with a coach differs in this case from psychotherapy in that coaching focuses on future opportunities, rather than on past mistakes. The coach does not diagnose or give instructions; the decision is made by the client himself, based on his worldview, unique experience and true values. The coach helps to realize them, using the most necessary things available in modern practice. That’s why regular communication with a coach becomes the norm in the lives of successful people. Unlike trying to cope with life dissatisfaction on your own, working with a coach is like shooting from a gun. sniper rifle– minimum effort, maximum results. It begins with a clear definition of tasks - for some it is important to increase self-confidence, for others it is important to have a certain income, for others it is important to find their “path with the heart”, and for others it is important to work at the UN or take a step towards Enlightenment. But in any case, with a coach, a person solves his problems MUCH FASTER AND EASIER. A lot of effective coaching practices help you regain the necessary clarity and energy within just 1-3 hours of coaching. Gradually, a person begins to feel greater strength and confidence, clear, viable goals appear, and the road to their implementation begins. The coach encourages you to take big steps towards your goals and stay on course, so achieving them moves quickly. And every new step taken along this path adds threefold strength. Quite schematically, but still this cartoon reflects the essence of what is happening in coaching: Most clients after coaching are surprised at themselves: “Why didn’t I apply earlier, I wasted so much time!” Dissatisfaction with life, sometimes lasting for months or even years, in 98% of cases, is “cured” in 7 to 10 hours of work with a professional coach. Release in 7-10 hours! Average term human life is now 76 years old. That's only 3,952 weeks! And 1,317 of them come from sleep. This means there are only 2,635 weeks or 63,240 hours left to live!

Time is precious, too precious to waste it feeling unlucky!

“Don’t be afraid that your life must end, be afraid that it will never begin,”John Newman

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You can right now:

• Get to know the programs

Irritability, tearfulness, laziness, apathy, lack of energy, conflict, the desire to escape from everywhere, wherever you are, dissatisfaction with life, work, relationships, yourself, others, your mood, an even more aggravated situation from the desire to stop all this and become normal person. everything is bad, I can’t change anything, irritation from imaginary powerlessness. just destructive thoughts and feelings of unhappiness. And I understand that my suspiciousness goes beyond all boundaries. And in principle, everything is fine in my life, there are problems, but not so global that I have been in this state for a whole year. I am 41 years old. Adult son, husband. Everything seems fine.B Lately I think I'm destroying everything around me. I began to fear communication. In fact, it seems to me that it all started with the fact that I got into a relationship with a young man much younger than myself... Maybe the awareness of my age is causing me complexes, complexes - lack of self-confidence and, as a result, irritability, etc. I also torment him, several times I wanted to quit, but we didn’t succeed. This is my first experience of communicating with a young man younger than me, so, as it turned out, I have no experience. I always felt beautiful and young with my partners, but now... And it was I who drove myself into these thoughts... I was all confused, I couldn’t untangle everything.. How much do I need the help of a psychologist? And does such help even exist?

Answers from psychologists

There is help in such conditions.

How much do you need it...? You decide.

//And in principle everything is fine in my life, there are problems, but not so global that I have been in this state for a whole year.//

Apparently, you don’t fully admit something to yourself. Apparently, these are exactly the problems. But for some reason you hide them from yourself, consoling yourself that “everything seems to be fine.” However, if everything was normal in the family, would you look for some other relationship? If you didn’t want love and warmth other than what you can get in your family, would this search be possible? And would this union become possible, in which, as you write, you both torment each other, but are unable to part? Isn't this about what you're really missing? And I think it’s not a matter of age or awareness of it. Probably (this is just my guess) that something important passed you by, and you never got enough of it? And now, a new relationship has appeared in which, probably, you get something of what is important and necessary for you, but you cannot afford to BE in this relationship....

However, all these are just thoughts on the topic of your short text. What is really there can only be found out in a real consultation. Whether you specifically need help and whether a psychologist can help - you can only decide for yourself. Any psychologist will tell you that if something is bothering you and you don’t know how to solve it, it makes sense to try. But help can only be effective if you yourself decide to resort to it and the specialist you decide to turn to will inspire your trust. Perhaps you will turn to one, then to another, and until you find “the one”, help will not be accepted. Or maybe you will find yours right away. Whoever wants to accept this help always finds his own path and his “guide” along this path.

Feelings of being neglected by others are widespread and constantly increase dissatisfaction with life. Frustration can have a serious impact on the body and mind, so it should not be underestimated. Moreover, acknowledging the fact that you are dissatisfied with your life will help turn it into an ally for achieving overall well-being. A society where everything is potentially possible, but in reality is little achievable for most people, is fertile ground for an epidemic of chronic dissatisfaction.

What is dissatisfaction?

Dissatisfaction is a feeling generated by unfulfilled desires, unfulfilled dreams, and neglect of needs. Dissatisfaction gives rise to a feeling of lack of what is necessary, a gap between what we want and what we actually have. Dissatisfaction is the absence or lack of joy in life.

Reasons for dissatisfaction with life

The main forms of dissatisfaction are related to the nature of human needs:

• lack of fulfillment in the profession;
• feeling of low value and importance;
• lack of love from others;
• lack of interest in life, its monotony;
• dissatisfaction with basic needs (sexual, etc.)

The main reasons for dissatisfaction may be:

• complex problems that prevent you from satisfying your ambitions and achieving your goals;
• inadequate upbringing models that cultivated many prohibitions (not only parents are to blame for this, but also society as a whole);
• too competitive environment;
• lack of skills or knowledge with which it is possible to satisfy desires.

All this leads to a conflict between our rational and emotional parts. When our consciousness is full of prohibitions, the satisfaction of desires becomes unacceptable and even shameful. If the conflict is not resolved, then after some time dissatisfaction turns into pathology.

Sometimes the problem originates in the inability to accept the actual lack of opportunity to satisfy those needs that can only be satisfied at a certain time. We are talking primarily about the lack of parental care in early age. Not everyone can cope with the deep pain of realizing this fact.

Dangerous consequences of dissatisfaction with life

When dissatisfaction is not recognized in time, its pathological manifestations take the form of somatization, which can often be mistaken for physical disorders or diseases. Somatic manifestations of dissatisfaction with life can range from manifestations similar to panic attacks to partial paralysis, convulsions, gastritis, etc. In addition, one must always remember that the physical symptoms observed for a long time, can lead to serious illness.

Often, after a long and unsuccessful search for the cause of the disease, doctors refer such patients to a psychologist. This is especially important in cases where, as a “cure” for dissatisfaction with life, they resort to dysfunctional behavior, the use of psychotropic substances, alcohol, etc.

However, the paradox of human existence is that we can constantly develop and achieve goals only when we feel slight dissatisfaction.