How to feel beautiful: psychological advice, self-care, self-confidence and strength, women's beauty secrets. How to feel alive

It's no secret that many women are unhappy with their appearance. And not at all because they are unlikable, it just seems so to them. And impeccable forms and appearance Movie heroines in general can develop an inferiority complex in many. Every woman wants to be attractive and confident. So why not try to become one. Psychological advice on how to feel beautiful may be very appropriate here.

What makes a girl attractive

If several simple rules that you need to adhere to every day. A very important nuance is your posture. It happens that a girl may be reprimanded about her stoop, sometimes she herself notices it in the mirror. Pay attention to how public people behave. Shoulders turned, a straight back, a slightly raised head - this can be easily learned not only by standing in front of a mirror, but also through simple physical exercise. If you want to always look slim and fit, watch your posture not only on the street and at work, but also at home.

Don't look for flaws in your appearance. After all, often what seems ugly and unattractive to you is what others like the most. Better think about how best to highlight your strengths.

In addition, read more serious literature, learn languages, listen good music. This will give you confidence in communicating with people.

Love yourself, feel like an individual. Perhaps someone likes you just like that.

By trying to reorganize her thoughts in a positive way, the girl will gain an understanding of how to feel beautiful and confident.

Watch your appearance

Taking care of your appearance does not mean using the entire arsenal of cosmetics. There are several important points here.

If possible, try to get enough sleep. If you do not give your body proper rest, this will affect not only your mood, but also your complexion.

Don't overdo your makeup. There should be little cosmetics on the face. In modern women's magazines there are many useful tips, how to brighten or smooth out certain features.

A smile makes communication more relaxed. So take care of your teeth. An unkempt mouth will not only alienate your interlocutor, but will also age you.

Keep track of your wardrobe. Of course, it should correspond to fashion trends, but pay more attention to those clothes that will hide the flaws of your figure and highlight its advantages.

If a young lady cares about how to feel beautiful, she will refuse bad habits. Cigarettes and alcoholic drinks can age any beauty.

Get rid of negative emotions

Feel yourself beautiful woman possible by eliminating the reasons that cause negative emotions.

Limit communication with people who annoy you with moralizing. Don't torture yourself with thoughts that your appearance is imperfect. And often this is not true. Choose a hairstyle that suits the shape of your face, choose cosmetics of a suitable tone, wear clothes and shoes that suit your height and build. You will begin to like yourself and radiate positivity.

You need to get rid of the obsessive desire to be like someone. After all, properly applied makeup can make any girl more attractive. If you are unsure of yourself, seek advice from an experienced makeup artist. And in order to bring your shape closer to the ideal, you need to eat rationally and exercise. You will see, this will increase your self-esteem and eliminate the question of how to feel beautiful.

Every lady has her favorite things that she doesn’t want to part with, there are new things bought for the season or for a holiday, there are wardrobe items that were bought just for the occasion. As a result, everyone probably has a situation where they are full of things, but have nothing to wear. How to feel beautiful and feminine? Of course, in fashionable, comfortable and beautiful clothes. So take some time to take care of your wardrobe.

Check your shoes. Immediately put aside the one you will no longer wear. Then it will become clear what needs to be bought and what just needs to be put in order.

Reconsider your underwear. It has the property of stretching. Some can be worn under home clothes, but some will have to be purchased.

Sort through casual and evening wear. Perhaps you are already tired of some jumper, put it aside. Do this with all the things that are just taking up space in the closet.

As a result, you will have a clear picture of what you don’t want to part with and what needs to be updated. Moreover, any new thing gives the girl positive emotions. And unnecessary things can be given to someone or sold if they are in good condition.

How to feel beautiful at home

We are already accustomed to seeing women in modern TV series who not only wear expensive clothes and shoes at home, but also change their clothes several times a day. Of course, not everyone can afford such luxury, but everyone should look up to such ladies.

Try to have one outfit for homework, and the other is for relaxation. After all, it will be nice to meet an unexpected guest (neighbor, girlfriend or friend) in a neat and comfortable outfit.

Tidy your hair first thing in the morning and do light makeup. You yourself will like to see yourself in the mirror, well-groomed and attractive, and the person who comes to you will get the impression that he is welcome here.

Choose a time for a set of physical exercises. This will make you feel fit and collected.

It used to be often said that before the wedding, a girl looks perfect, and then she meets her husband from work, unkempt and in a wrinkled robe, and is also surprised that the chosen one becomes indifferent to her. So how can you feel beautiful and desired? Meet your loved one with a smile, in good mood, well-groomed, in beautiful home sewn clothes. Your chosen one should feel that they were expected. In this case, the young lady can count on reciprocity.

Buy good cosmetics and perfumes

Good cosmetics are not necessarily some expensive brand. There are many manufacturers who have proven themselves well in the market, but at the same time are affordable for most customers. And there doesn’t necessarily have to be a lot of perfume items.

It is enough to have lipsticks that match your favorite shoes, dresses or handbags. Quality is important here. In addition, they have a limited shelf life. It's better to update your lipsticks periodically.

The same rule applies to shadows. They tend to crumble over time, so better time buy new ones from time to time.

Don't skimp on good deodorants. Moreover, they last a long time.

If you like perfume, buy one with a soft and mild aroma. For example, when you are in a company, you can put others in an awkward position if you use perfume with a bright exotic smell. It is unlikely that the girl will be reprimanded, but the overall impression of her may not be the most pleasant.

Spend more time caring for yourself

How to feel beautiful and young? Everyone needs to set aside time to take care of themselves. Well maintained view makes any woman more confident. Moreover, now there are many products that will make your skin fresh and tightened. These include creams, lotions, and various masks for the face, body, and hair. The main thing is to choose a cosmetic product with the optimal composition for yourself. And here it is also important not to be lazy. Taking care of your appearance every day will definitely bear fruit. You can visit the fitness club a couple of times a week. And be sure to go for a walk fresh air. If self-care becomes a good habit, you will always delight others with your beauty and energy.

How to feel beautiful on the street

Feeling beautiful on the street means realizing that people are looking at you with admiration. Any girl or woman should always try to look perfect. To make a good impression on others, you need to consider the following details:

  • your shoes and clothes should be neat and preferably chosen in the same style;
  • the handbag and gloves should also be matched;
  • hair should be clean and beautifully styled;
  • choose your makeup so that it complements your beauty and does not dominate it;
  • watch your gait and posture, keep your stomach tight;
  • be confident in your irresistibility.

If you radiate energy and self-confidence, those around you will definitely feel it.

Go shopping

How to feel beautiful girl, if she has a complex about her wardrobe. It is clear that not every young lady can easily buy new clothes for herself. But even small and inexpensive purchases can improve your mood:

  • buy jewelry items;
  • upgrade your mobile phone case;
  • pair a new T-shirt with your favorite jeans;
  • just take a walk around the bookstore, maybe you’ll be interested in some new publication;
  • buy something tasty for tea.

Every pleasant purchase will definitely charge you with positivity. And if you happened to buy a long-awaited expensive new thing, you will look forward to the opportunity to show off in front of your friends or your boyfriend.

Pay attention to self-education and hobbies

Never before outer beauty could not completely replace spiritual beauty. After all, others care not only about your appearance, but also about the joy of communication. It's no secret that many beauties are unable to carry on a basic conversation, while girls with a more modest appearance captivate those around them with their individuality. Therefore, the question of how to feel beautiful is far from clear-cut. You should always strive to look good, that's for sure. But it is also important to be able to maintain a conversation, listen to a person, and help him with advice. Go to concerts, to the theater - it will enrich your inner world. Find a hobby that completely engulfs you free time. Prepare something unusual for your friends. Look together interesting film. A versatile and enthusiastic person always commands respect. Your inner and outer beauty will allow you to assert yourself and become an example for others.

Professor Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, an iconic American philosopher and psychologist, devoted most of his life to studying the phenomenon of happiness and founded his own direction in the field of positive psychology, which is becoming increasingly popular. His know-how is the idea of ​​flow, a state of complete inclusion, loss of sense of time, absence of fear and anxiety, dissolution of the ego and a feeling of absolute fullness of life.

Flow is a very powerful experience, it is addictive. We must learn to get out of it at the first demand of reality!

1. Happiness is not something that “happens” to us. You need to learn to be happy. Don't forget that every minute you create (or don't create) happiness with your thoughts. After all, it is you who choose how to relate to what happens to you.

2. When I set myself the goal of figuring out why some people know how to be happy and others cannot, I began to study two groups of people. The first are those who have lost everything in life, including health and loved ones, but this did not break them. On the contrary, they managed to find new meaning live and new incentives for self-development. And they were happier than those to whom fate seemed to be favorable. The second is creative people: artists, musicians, writers. When they were doing what they loved, it was as if nothing else existed for them - they fell into a special state, similar to a drug high. After many years of research, I came to the conclusion that the know-how of both is the ability to control consciousness and manage one’s psychic energy.

3. Money, material wealth and even health are not a guarantee of happiness. Yes, they can improve your life, but if you don't know how to manage energy, then you will still be missing something. Seneca said: “The blessings of prosperity are to be desired, and the blessings of adversity are to be admired.” There are two types of reactions to stress: the neurotic defense, when you blame the whole world for the misfortunes that befall you, and the “mature” defense, when you are able to overcome chaos so that at least there is order in your head. When problems come your way, learn to temporarily turn off anger and emotions in general. Try to analyze the situation logically and reframe the problem so that it is easier to solve using alternative options and strategies.

4. Learn to have fun every day. I suggest a simple way. Make a list of things that you are good at. It is important that they are not too complicated - otherwise you will get nervous. But not too simple, otherwise you will quickly get bored. It is important that you really enjoy doing them, so that during these activities you forget about time and yourself. Try to devote time to one of these tasks every day and gradually increase the complexity of the tasks. This way you will learn to enter the state of Flow.

5. Share your Flow with your children, teach them to enjoy life. Be honest with them so they know what you expect from them. Worry less about their future and instead listen to what your child is thinking and feeling in the present moment. Don't put pressure on children or limit their freedom - let them know that they can do as they please, including breaking parental rules, if they are willing to deal with the consequences. Let them with early age learn to entertain themselves. My wife and I never punished our two sons, did not impose our ambitions on them, and did not force them to eat or do their homework. But from the very early years there was an opportunity to do what they were really interested in. We often praised them and were sincerely (this is very important - children feel everything!) surprised by any of their achievements. (Now they are professors, and each has become famous in their field: one is a mathematician, the other is a specialist in Chinese philosophy 4th century.) It is also very important that there is communication and trust in the family - then the child will not have anxiety and he will be able to invest his energy not in psychological self-defense, but in self-development. And just love them – unconditionally. People who in childhood were afraid that their parents would stop loving them, in adulthood are so worried about the integrity of their own “I” that they are not able to enjoy life.

Don't be afraid to work. At work, it is easiest to enter a state of flow, that is, happiness.

6. Flow is a feeling of fullness of life, that is, happiness. The more often you are in the Flow, the less your vital energy is wasted. And the more joy there is in your life. This state is not so difficult to learn. I have highlighted several Flow Rules. First, you must be good at what you do so that you do not waste energy doubting yourself. You don't need to introspect because your Ego is not in danger. The “I” seems to disappear in the flow, but when you leave this state, your “I” becomes stronger. Second: you must be completely focused on the process so that there is no room in your mind for information that is not significant at the moment. Third: the perception of time changes. Hours turn into minutes, and minutes can stretch into hours. It’s as if you find yourself in a narrow time tunnel, where only the present is real. Fourth: you must have clearly defined goals and the ability to quickly receive feedback. Fifth: you completely forget about worries and problems, as if they were no longer in your life. This gives you even more strength and ideas; it’s as if you are connecting to an endless flow of a single cosmic energy. Sixth: you have a feeling of control over the situation and, as a result, over your life.

7. You can enter the Flow from almost any job– from ironing shirts to conquering Everest. The dancer describes it this way: “Concentration becomes all-encompassing. Your thoughts stop wandering, you don’t think about anything else, you are completely absorbed in your movement... Energy seems to flow through you, you feel relaxed, confident and full of strength.” And here’s what the chess player says: “I have an unusual feeling of inner well-being. I completely control my world, control the course of things and events.” A climber I know describes Flow this way: “It’s terribly inspiring to reach new heights in self-discipline. You force your body to work, everything hurts, and then you look back and are delighted with yourself and what you did. It causes ecstasy. If you win enough battles with yourself, it becomes easier to win in the world.”

8. Don't be afraid to work hard. It is during work, and not during rest, that there is a much greater chance of entering the Flow, and therefore of happiness. The main thing is that your work is varied, that you are given interesting, increasingly complex tasks that match your skills, so that your work has a purpose and the opportunity to receive feedback.

9. Ask yourself: How do you spend your idle hours? Scientists have calculated that the average person in Western civilization spends no more than 30 hours a week directly at work, another 10 hours he is at work, but idle - playing on the computer, chatting with colleagues. Twenty hours a week are spent on leisure, of which seven hours are spent on TV, three hours on reading, two hours on sports, and another seven on socializing and entertainment. There are still 50–60 hours of wakefulness left. Our ancestors had much less free time, but it is not a fact that we enjoy life more than they did.

Surprise is a reflection of the purest form of pleasure.

10. I once conducted an experiment using the “experience sampling” method. It turned out that we feel happier when doing things we love, which require investing not money, but mental energy, that is, our full attention. These things include: talking with friends, reading, interesting work.

11. Don't become slaves to your hobbies. Don’t do sports, for example (by the way, this is one of the most accessible “streaming” activities if you approach it correctly) because you “have to” or because it’s fashionable. Regular walks can bring no less joy than membership in an expensive fitness club. But don’t go on autopilot; try to control the process. Set yourself a goal - for example, to learn race walking, and come up with maximum amount intermediate goals associated with it (for example, each time gradually increase the distance traveled). Measure your own progress, enjoy even small victories and gradually raise the bar.

12. Democritus said that the greatest good in life is “a mind free from fear.” It is more difficult for the self-centered and shy to be happy. Excessive psychological defense, eternal focus on yourself, worry about how you look and what people will think of you are vampires of your energy.

13. Observe a person who is passionate about a game: he is completely involved in the process, does not think about the result, his Ego is not included. All his energy is directed to the “here and now”, he feels very good. Work is the same game, only better. The great biochemist Linus Pauling, winner of two Nobel Prizes, worked non-stop all his life - he died at 93 years old. He once told me that he doesn’t know the feeling of tiredness at all. Where did he get his energy from? Treated work like a game.

14. Try to find meaning in everything you do. Spend your mental energy not on doubts, regrets, guilt or fear, but on things that you consider useful and that make you happy.

15. Be surprised. Be even more surprised. Francis Bacon realized 400 years ago that surprise is a reflection of the purest form of pleasure.

16. Learn by heart - poems, song lyrics. This is a method of controlling consciousness - you can always find a meaningful reason for joy in the bins of your memory. Read poems to yourself by heart - they allow the mind to store experiences in a concentrated form and, if necessary, accurately formulate what kind of emotion is haunting you.

17. Don't waste energy trying to fill time to avoid loneliness. Learn to enjoy the moments when you are left alone. They are a great opportunity to get to know yourself and try to manage your world.

18. Flow is a very powerful experience; this state is addictive. Remember what happened to the hero of Nabokov’s novel “The Defense of Luzhin”? Don't let your guard down, don't try to escape into the Stream from real life! Learn not only to enter the Stream, but also to leave it at the first demand of reality, otherwise it will destroy you.

19. Taoists 2300 years ago realized that the only correct way of life is to act spontaneously without thinking about external gain and merging with the world. Trust yourself, your abilities, the world at large and your place in it. Act with confidence and better decisions will come naturally.

From time to time, everyone feels like life has stopped and something inside has died. If you want to shake yourself up and awaken your soul, we've got you covered. In this article we will offer many different options solutions to the problem, each of which is associated with a specific cause of your condition. You can read only one section, or you can read all of them - there is no unnecessary information here!

Steps

How to shake yourself up

    Try something new. This will help you move yourself like nothing else. All people are naturally smart, but because of this, our brains always need stimulation. If we do the same thing day after day, we get bored and die inside. Do something interesting and life will seem completely different to you.

    • You can do something creative: learn to play an instrument or take a drawing course.
    • Try something intellectual (for example, start learning foreign language or play chess).
    • Choose an activity related to sports (for example, swimming or running).
  1. Get out of your comfort zone. One of the reasons why you should try new things is that every person should push their personal boundaries from time to time. The more you do this, the more you grow as a person. When we make an effort, we realize what we are truly capable of and find something to be happy about. This makes us happier and calmer.

    • Go to a place you've never been to or even thought about.
    • Set yourself a goal that may seem impossible (for example, losing 50 kilograms).
  2. Challenge yourself. A person feels that he is living when he strives for some goal. You may decide to get in shape, learn a new skill or ability, or get a promotion. It is important to set yourself a difficult task and start working on it, sparing no effort.

    Follow your dreams. If you strive for something you've always dreamed of without the fear of running into obstacles, you will feel reborn as you get closer to your dream.

    • Consider changing jobs and starting to do something you've always enjoyed. Work that is not enjoyable causes feelings of depression and despondency. Find a job that allows you to light soul end each working day.
  3. Build a relationship with the person you love. If you don't have a relationship, get one. Find the right person and become the person who can fill the void in someone’s life. People need company. We strive for the company of others, and this fills our lives with meaning.

    • It is important to build a relationship in which you help each other. Don't start a relationship with someone you don't have feelings for just so you don't feel lonely.

    How to become more energetic

    1. Stick to a routine. If you always go to bed and get up at different time, you will feel overwhelmed, tired and lost. Set yourself up for a routine, be prepared to give up some things to accustom yourself to order.

      • If you can't find time for something, give up activities that eat up your time without you noticing. Social networks, entertainment sites, games and mobile phone takes more time than you think. Save all these activities for moments when you have nothing else to do (for example, while you are sitting in line or riding the subway).
    2. Get enough sleep. Everyone's body is different, and it is possible that you need more or less sleep than your friend. You will feel equally bad if you don't get enough sleep and if you oversleep. Start with the standard 8 hours every day; Go to bed and get up at the same time for several weeks. How do you feel now? Some people only need 6 hours, while others need all 10. Determine your ideal sleep norm.

      Eat well. Balanced diet will give you energy, health and new strength with which you can enter a new day. A properly selected diet can even overcome depression! Eat more vegetables and fruits, grains, proteins. Avoid unhealthy fats and sugar. Eat mindfully - don't just grab the first thing that comes to hand.

      • TO healthy vegetables and fruits include: kale, spinach, broccoli, bananas and citrus fruits.
      • Healthy grains: rice, buckwheat, rye, oats.
      • Healthy proteins and fats are found in red fish, tuna, sardines, nuts, chicken and eggs.
      • Avoid fast food, including chips and other snacks. Even healthy breads will completely lose all their usefulness if you eat half the box at a time. Besides, carrots will still be healthier.
    3. Reduce your consumption of drinks that give you energy. If you drink a lot of coffee, tea or energy drinks, cutting them out will help you improve the situation. Caffeine is addictive, and even if it helps you stay awake now, your body will crave it again after a while. Avoid these drinks temporarily to help you overcome your addiction.

      Play sports. Yes, finding time for sports can sometimes be difficult, but physical exercise- this is one of the best ways fight fatigue. A fifteen-minute run in the morning will wake you up. In the office, do a few squats while you wait for the coffee machine to beep to let you know your drink is ready. Instead of taking the elevator, take the stairs. Little things like this will make you more energetic and healthier, and they are much more beneficial than a dose of caffeine.

      Do not stop. Even if you don’t need to go anywhere or don’t want to go anywhere, still get up at your usual time, get dressed, and have breakfast as usual. This will prevent you from becoming lazy or even feeling like you are in a hopeless situation. If you don't think about your life seriously enough long time, you will definitely stop thinking about her seriously.

    How to feel inspired

      Read. If you don't know where to go next, listen to wise sayings. Many people were able to start living again by reading the books of Joseph Campbell and Alan Watts. Don't just look for books - there are plenty of quotes and interviews online (try searching Youtube for them). Read biographies famous people- they will guide you in the right direction.

      Travel. Visit new places and places you've already been to. Travel can change your life and change you. When you travel to distant lands, you step out of your comfort zone; you will face difficulties and overcome them on your own, and this way you can prove to yourself that you are capable of much. You don't have to have a lot of money to travel. Unless you use a travel company, book your accommodation and plane tickets in advance (4-6 months before your trip) and avoid traveling to high season. If you follow our advice, you will see that travel is not so expensive.

      • If you're worried about traveling far, start with domestic travel.
    1. Listen to music. For many people, music serves as an inexhaustible source of inspiration. It has the ability to penetrate your soul and make you feel connected to the singer or composer. Some people are suited to classical music (we recommend listening to Beethoven's Piano Concerto No. 5, parts 2 and 3), while others enjoy contemporary compositions. Some people can only be moved by folk music (such as Celtic). Look for what suits you.

      Feel one with humanity. It is very important to experience this feeling of unity with the human spirit, which is timeless. Everyone comes to this in their own way: some read poetry, some become a volunteer, some raise children. Find something that makes you feel that connection and don't let that feeling fade. Take up painting, dancing, writing a song - anything that allows you to contribute and express yourself will help you find inspiration for further achievements.

      Find meaning in your life. We feel important and needed only when there is meaning in our life, and we have the opportunity to realize this meaning. Everyone has something to give to this planet and the people on it. Find out what you are good at and what you enjoy, and do it. If you live only for the sake of the process of life itself, and not for the sake of doing something useful, very soon you will feel lost and depressed. Think about what you can give to the world and forget about barriers!

    How to keep in touch with people

      Start trusting people. This will help you feel that connection. If you are invited somewhere, don't assume that people are doing it just because they want to keep up appearances. Perhaps they really want to be your friend. They might be really curious about what you are like! Think well of people, and they will definitely pleasantly surprise you. If you decline the invitation, you may miss out on something really exciting.

      Become a volunteer. People get great satisfaction from helping someone, and that help should be limited to something superficial (like carrying someone's bag from the store). Give the person the help he really needs. Become a positive force for someone who can change their life for the better. This will make you feel grateful for all that you have.

      • Participate in charity, help animal shelters and elderly people.
      • By volunteering, you can make new friends and meet people with the same values ​​and interests as you.
    1. Join the online community. If you find it difficult to meet someone in real life or if your lifestyle is not conducive to this, try meeting people in the online community. There are many ways to do this! WikiHow has a very good community of users, and everyone is always willing to help someone who needs help. You can also register for an MMORPG (Massively multiplayer online role-playing game, MMORPG, or “massively multiplayer online role-playing game”) - a special video game where you can choose your character and control all his actions, including to make friends. Many games have very friendly communities.

Satisfaction with life and a subjective feeling of happiness are categories that, it would seem, do not always depend on us: people sometimes exaggerate the significance of their failures, believing that they are now unlucky or have hit a bad streak. Meanwhile there is a lot simple ways feel happier than a minute ago. These are not just general words: the mechanisms that are involved in them have been revealed and described in studies conducted by psychologists.

Send a letter of gratitude

Gratitude is a feeling that allows us to enjoy what we have: if we have something for which we can be grateful to other people, then life is no longer hopeless. Send a message (text message, email or any other message) to a loved one, listing everything for which you can thank him: to the one you are in love with - for the happy minutes spent together, and if you are married - for smart children and long years happy marriage, to your parents - for teaching you to believe in yourself, to your friends - for their support.

A study conducted by scientists at the University of Kent (USA)* found that just one letter a week is enough to feel happier and more satisfied with life. The experiment, which involved 219 people, found that writing thank you notes also reduced symptoms of depression.

In the book "Thank you!" (“Thanks!”)** University of California (USA) psychology professor Robert Emmons even measured the amount of happiness that expressing gratitude to other people conveys to us - people who often experience this emotion feel on average 25% happier than everyone else . The professor obtained this result by analyzing the subjective feelings of life in a control group of volunteers who wrote notes weekly (for 10 weeks) mentioning what they were grateful to other people for.

Remember 3 good things that happened today

Even if you think that you have achieved everything yourself and you have nothing to be grateful to others for, you can feel a surge of happiness by saying “thank you” to chance or fate. Take a few minutes to remember 3 good things that happened to you today.

First you will look for big events - no, distant relative did not bequeath a million to me; no, I was not promoted... And then remember that in the morning you went out into the street bad mood– but they saw that the sun was shining and smiled. And a colleague who had not noticed you before suddenly smiled at you and said hello for the first time. And when you returned home, you were right at the beginning new series favorite series. This method develops the habit of appreciating small joys, quietly restructuring your attitude towards life.

A 2005 study by positive psychology founder Martin Seligman*** showed that this exercise has long-lasting (up to six months) positive effects. It is all the easier to resort to this method because it has recently become a popular flash mob on social networks.

Spend money on someone else

It's nice when your financial difficulties unexpectedly other people decided. However, if you decide to spend money on someone else, it can bring you even more happiness.

As part of an experiment conducted in 2008 by a team of American psychologists****, volunteers were given small amounts of money - from 5 to 20 dollars, asking them to use them at their own discretion: spend it on themselves, buy something for other people or donate to charity . It was found that the feelings of the “unmercenaries” who spent their money on others turned out to be much better than those of the “egoists” who chose their loved ones as recipients of benefits.

By serving it to an old lady on the subway or paying for your colleague’s breakfast in the cafeteria, you are giving several “gifts” to your own psyche - you begin to relate better to the people around you, increase your self-confidence and feel closer ties to society.

Manifestations of generosity (often even excessive) appear in many rituals noted by ethnologists among various peoples of the world - remember the potlatch holiday among the North American Indians, when the leader of the tribe and his guests try to outdo each other in the wealth of gifts they give each other.

Give in to your dreams

Maybe castles in the air and idle pastime, but if you think about quite real possibilities, this is another way to feel happier.

To paraphrase Hippocrates, one could say: we are what we expect. A series of five experiments conducted in 2007 by scientists at the University of Colorado Boulder showed that when thinking about events that might happen in the future, people experience almost the same powerful emotions as if they were happening right now.

These emotions, for example, are much stronger than the sensations that arise in a person when remembering events of the past - even very joyful or, conversely, very sad. Dreaming of visiting friends, participating in a holiday, or traveling to a country where we have long wanted to visit, we quietly program ourselves to have a positive perception of our life - and the more detailed our dreams, the more convincing visual images they contain, the more complete the feeling of happiness that arises.

The joy of life is even greater for those who make plans with friends - the study even roughly estimated the monetary equivalent of this opportunity: to get the same amount of happiness that you gain from regularly discussing future plans with friends, you need to earn a year additional 130 thousand dollars – almost 6 million rubles. You can buy an apartment.

Do something you are good at

This method, better than others, saves you from the feeling of routine. You haven’t heard praise from others about yours for a long time professional skills? It's not surprising if you don't consider what you do to be your life's work. Think of an activity where you are truly talented—maybe you write amazing poetry, skillfully shoot three-pointers in a basketball basket, or know how to talk to older people.

A hobby is not just a pleasant way to spend time. This is an opportunity to gain self-confidence and satisfaction in life, as a study conducted in 2002 proves: doing something you love not only relieves stress and gets rid of fatigue, but also important factor, which influences our perception of how our existence corresponds to the ideal criteria that we set for ourselves.

*S. Toepfer, K. Cichy, P. Peters, “Letters of Gratitude: Further Evidence for Author Benefits,” Journal of Happiness Studies, 2012.

** R. Emmons “Thanks!: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier." Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2007.

*** M. Seligman et al. "Positive Psychology Progress: Empirical Validation of Interventions." American Psychologist, 2005.

**** E. Dunn et al. "Spending Money on Others Promotes Happiness." Science, 2008.

***** L. Van Boven, L. Ashworth “Looking forward, looking back: Anticipation is more evocative than retrospection.” Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 2007.

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