How easy is it to get rid of bad habits and addictions? How to get rid of a bad habit.

Greetings to all readers. This step will help you get rid of bad habits: for smokers to quit smoking, and for those who drink, I will suggest, as an experiment, not to drink for 30 days. Why now, at this stage? First, because for the following steps it would be better if you did not smoke or drink, as these steps will be associated with physical activity. Secondly, if you have completed all the previous steps, then you have gained some useful skills in order to get rid of bad habits with less resistance and more desire. Now it should be easier.

Don't be afraid, I'm not asking you to give up alcohol today and forever. In my case, the refusal of alcohol happened by itself. Over time, my desire to drink began to disappear, the need to relax and spend time in this way disappeared. I believe that breaking bad habits should happen, for the most part, naturally and be accompanied by a sincere inner interest in stopping self-harm. Otherwise, you will return to these habits again and again.

But this does not mean that you should sit back and wait until you get tired of drinking or smoking. You will still have to significantly limit yourself in the consumption of alcohol and work on yourself. This applies to alcohol, but smoking, during this step, you will have to quit immediately and for good. You should at least try, if you fail, you just move on to the next step, and come back to this one later.

I will try, to the best of my ability, to help you quit smoking by supporting you day by day and helping you through your nicotine withdrawal. Read this step for information on the first few days of quitting cigarettes. For those who want to quit drinking, I will simply publish here a list of tips to help you cope with addiction and offer to take part in an experiment: give up any alcohol for 30 days. I see no reason to publish a step-by-step program to get rid of alcohol addiction, since the cases are different for everyone, while the experience of throwing cigarettes, in principle, may be similar for most.

Self-development and bad habits

Bad habits are not compatible with self-development. Firstly, because they destroy health, and the balanced development of a person implies the improvement of the body. Smoking and the systematic use of alcohol do not go well with sports, which are necessary for every person.

Secondly, the use of alcohol and other drugs gradually destroys the brain. A healthy critical ability and a sober assessment of oneself and others disappear (and this often happens unnoticed by oneself), which also does not meet the needs for personal development satisfactorily.

Thirdly, bad habits can contribute to the development of negative human qualities (many people know how the character of a strongly drinking people). Smoking and alcohol cause problems with nervous system. After all, bad habits are a destructive addiction or the risk of one. Absence of dependence is freedom and choice. Freedom, expressed in the ability to enjoy life without the need to cloud the brain and ruin health.

Fourthly, the use of drugs and alcohol, including, destroy, undermine a certain fragile spiritual balance. This is my observation. To explain it, let me digress a little. I have already written more than once that meditation helped me get rid of addictions, depression, character problems. — the basis of my system of self-development. Perhaps there are other ways of self-development that do not involve the pursuit of such a spiritual discipline as meditation. But I cannot teach you what I do not know myself. I can be confident in my words only when I stand firmly on own experience positive metamorphosis. This experience includes meditation as an essential element.

The person who at one time advised me to meditate and, one might say, taught me this technique, himself, own example created an incentive for my studies and dispelled my skepticism. The fact is that this person felt pretty good (which could not be said about me at that time) and, from some time, stopped drinking alcohol altogether (which I also really wanted, but did not understand how to achieve). He said that he simply did not need it, so he did not drink.

Then I, accustomed to drinking every day, do not understand how this may not be necessary ?! It seemed to me that everyone needs alcohol, it’s just that someone doesn’t limit themselves, and someone, at the cost of their spiritual comfort, limits it. I could understand if someone did not drink for ideological reasons, but because of this he suffered and "broken", while the rest did not miss the opportunity to enjoy the pleasant effect of alcohol. But it was completely incomprehensible to me how you can not drink alcohol and at the same time enjoy life, communication, relaxation ...

But, after two years of meditation practice, I managed to comprehend the mood of this person. I myself no longer needed alcohol and other sources of intoxication. When I meet with old acquaintances about, for example, someone's birthday, they are very surprised that I stopped drinking. And they ask: “what are you doing if you don’t drink? how do you spend free time? I don't have any super original hobbies and I spend my leisure time like many others: I ride a bike, watch movies, read books, go for a walk, spend time with friends, etc. But it's not about the classes themselves, it's about what happens inside ...

After I began to meditate, a feeling of some kind of constant inner comfort began to appear in me. This is not a state of unbridled happiness, not a feeling of intoxicating euphoria, but simply some kind of quiet joy and comfort. Actually, people are looking for in alcohol and other drugs just the feeling of psychological comfort. But I already have this state, I don’t need to go to the store to get it, why do I need alcohol? So I can relax myself, why should I ruin my health and cloud my mind? I feel comfortable while relaxing, in cheerful company. In short, I almost always feel good, why should I drink or smoke?

With the help of meditation practice, I found a certain balance that I really don’t want to break. If I drink, even a little, I feel some kind of decline in moral strength the next day. If you drink constantly, you don’t notice it, but the less often, the more noticeable this feeling. At these moments, it seems that the balance that is maintained by meditation and sobriety has been shaken. And I don't want to upset that balance. This is one of the reasons why I don't drink.

You can read thousands of tips on how to quit drinking and smoking, but until you find a sense of inner comfort and balance, it will be difficult for you to do this. My way to achieve such states is meditation. You can come to them somehow differently, or you can not reinvent the wheel and follow the path beaten by many generations. After all, meditation has helped many people get rid of addictions. If you followed the previous steps, then you should already be meditating and it will be much easier for you to quit bad habits. If you don't practice, now is the time to start.

Theory

In my articles, I also wrote that in order to get rid of bad habits, it is necessary to eliminate psychological reasons for which you smoke or drink. Addiction has two sides - physiological and psychological. You can get rid of physiological dependence by quitting the use of the substance to which you are accustomed. Your body will eventually rebuild its processes, and you will no longer have a "physical" craving for the drug.

If psychological dependence did not play a significant role, then people would easily quit drinking and smoking and would never return to these habits again. After all, it is not so difficult to endure physical "withdrawal", especially, guided by considerations of caring for one's health. But there is something before which these considerations pale, it is the psychological reasons for the use of drugs, something that forms a mental addiction.

Many people drink and smoke not because their body is used to the drug. They do this to relax, relieve stress, get rid of "social" brakes, drown out grief, enjoy and get a state of psychological comfort, fill in pauses in conversation, engage their senses, forget, pass the time, get rid of boredom, etc. etc. You see what a wide range of individual needs is affected by the process of using drugs, including alcohol and cigarettes!

That is why many people see such joy in smoking and drinking, because it is very much connected with the personality, with its desires. If you just stop satisfying these desires with the help of the usual means, then they will not go anywhere and will appear again and again. This is the reason why people fail to quit smoking or drinking so easily. How will they relax? How to endure boredom? How to spend time?

And, not finding a satisfactory answer to these questions, they again return to harmful "joys". To get rid of psychological dependence, you need to change the personality. And this is not so simple, although it is certainly possible, and this is proved by my example, in particular. To get rid of any temptations that lead to addiction, you need to take a number of comprehensive measures, for example:

• Find a sense of harmony, balance, comfort, joy. (Meditation, yoga, sports activities, work on your inner world, self-development, intellectual development)
• Learn to relax. (Described in the previous step)
• Endure loneliness, boredom. To be able to enjoy the absence of any activity.
• . Develop self-discipline.
• Expand the scope of your interests and hobbies.
• Get rid of sensory hunger, an unhealthy need for constant information and irritation of the senses. (The following articles may be helpful: , )

Some of the information you will find in the articles on the links, a lot more is said in the articles about how to quit drinking and smoking. I posted links to them above. It must be understood that it is impossible to draw up a completely universal program, since each case of addiction is individual: someone drinks because he is constantly tense, someone gets rid of boredom in this way, someone drowns out pain, someone has it all together ... Everyone has different grounds for the emergence of bad habits, and, therefore, everyone should pay attention to working with their own reasons and read the relevant materials on my website or in other sources.

It is clear that the personality must change, but nothing prevents you from quitting some bad habits right now. And the positive personality changes that will occur later will help ensure that you do not return to these habits again. So there is no reason not to quit smoking or drinking right now! The following tips for every day will help smokers get rid of this health-poisoning habit.

From tomorrow you do not smoke. This day should not stand out in any way from other days, except that on this day you will quit smoking and never will again. That is, you don't have to wait. special day: the first of January or the day following your birthday... Quit smoking right tomorrow, in the middle of the week. I did just that: on Tuesday evening I decided that, starting tomorrow, I do not smoke. On Wednesday, I no longer smoked at work. Although, before that, on Monday and Tuesday, following the usual rhythm of a smoker, I was still talking in the smoking room with colleagues, puffing on a cigarette, and did not even think that this would soon have to end.

You need to quit smoking quickly and immediately. The rest of the methods are ineffective. No favors. Starting tomorrow, don't smoke. So in the evening you smoke your last cigarette and from that moment on you are no longer a smoker...

Day 2

It won't be easy. You will feel bad. How bad depends on your smoking history. We'll have to be patient. This must be remembered. Otherwise, underestimating the effects of the withdrawal syndrome, you immediately reach for a cigarette. It will still be fine in the morning, but be strong in the afternoon!

Remember, you are not "quitting smoking". You have already quit smoking! You don't smoke anymore, even though you smoked your last cigarette yesterday. What was yesterday was yesterday. Now you are a non-smoker, look at the smokers around you: you are no longer one of them - you don't smoke. Colleagues call “will you go to smoke?” answer: “no, I quit”, and not “I’m quitting” or, no, God forbid: “I’m trying to quit”.

Thinking about the act already done, the completed decision, will help you to be more firm in your intention not to go back to the cigarette. You no longer smoke and will not smoke. And now you are very strongly drawn to a cigarette, it's just side effect weaning. It will pass after a while. (I smoked for 6 years, it was hard for the first three days after I stopped, then the syndrome gradually “faded” for two weeks, then that’s it. According to my recollections, it was very easy to quit smoking, because it really “broke” only a few days, but I haven't smoked in two years, which is a reasonable price.)

You don't have to identify with the withdrawal syndrome. The fact that you are drawn to a cigarette does not mean that you want it, you need it, the dependence on the physiological level is so simple. The body begins to experience something like hunger, which, unlike the usual need for food, can be endured. Endure as you endure any physical pain or discomfort that anyone can endure. These are not your desires, this is just a reaction of the body, expressed in such discomfort.

You have no way to remove this discomfort! No smoking! It is forbidden. Smoking is taboo. Set in your mind a strict ban on this. No matter how bad you feel - be patient, it will end. Horror writer Stephen King has a short story called Quit Smoking Inc. It told about an organization that helped heavy smokers quit smoking. For the person who turned to them, shadowing was established. If he smokes for the first time - they cut off his finger, if it happens again - they cut off the finger of his wife or child, then worse sanctions follow ...

Such a policy left no room for the temptation to light a cigarette for the hero of this story. He just couldn't do it. What are a few days of weaning compared to the prospect of living without a finger!
Tune in to the fact that you, like this character, cannot smoke! What are a few days of weaning worth compared to the prospect of ruined lungs, heart and blood vessels? It's even worse than a severed finger!

Hold on until the next day. Instead of a smoking room, go for a walk outside or just stand on the balcony. Chew gum (regular) if that makes you feel better. Don't eat too much! No need to replace one habit with another, it is not effective at all! When I quit smoking, I didn't gain weight at all because I was aware of the risk and tried not to eat more than usual.

Day 3

We endured the first day without cigarettes - consider half the work done. But this is not the time to relax. Today will not be easier. Get ready. But you don't smoke anymore, and that's very good. In your free time at work or at home, read some article about the effects of nicotine on the brain. Why does addiction and withdrawal syndrome occur, how does it manifest itself at the level of brain mechanisms? It will be very informative and relevant for you. Read more about the dangers of smoking.

If any thoughts come to mind that come down to smoking (“just one cigarette”) - get rid of these thoughts, no matter how convincing they may seem! This is an insidious deception of addiction that broadcasts false ideas through your brain. These thoughts can seem very tempting and even reasonable. But don't be fooled! Enter all such thoughts into your personal banlist. They are easy to weed out from all other thoughts according to a simple principle: any thought of smoking is a hoax!

Hold on!

Day 4

Now it should be a little easier. If not, then it will be in a few days. But to endure "withdrawal" should not be so hard. Breathe in in the morning full chest, feel new smells. After all, the sense of smell is greatly dulled by constant smoking. Breathing should be easier.

Day 5

Release the accumulated energy. Go for a short run or go to the pool. You are now a non-smoker and can afford activities like running because your lungs work better.

After a couple of months, if you do not ruin your health in any other way, you will feel an improvement. general well-being. Without cigarettes general state the body is much better: you get less tired, sleep better, your endurance increases, shortness of breath and bad breath disappear.

It is better not to drink alcohol, at least in the first week of quitting cigarettes, as it is easier to break loose with alcohol. But if you feel strong in yourself, then at the same time you can proceed to the next experiment and stop drinking for a month.

Experiment for those who want to stop drinking (also relevant for smokers)

Let's do an experiment. I suggest you give up alcohol for 30 days from tomorrow. If this period seems long to you, it means that you are used to drinking often and you, all the more, need such an experiment.

If it is very easy for you to hold out for 30 days, we extend the period: 2, 3 months, etc.

To give up altogether means to give up altogether. No exceptions: a friend's birthday, a wedding, your birthday - it doesn't matter, you don't drink for 30 days. Just like with giving up cigarettes: we don’t wait for a special day or occasion, we start the experiment right tomorrow.

In a month you will surely have time to visit different situations in which you are used to drinking: holidays, evenings after hard working days. Only, this time, you will have to do without alcohol. You will try to learn how to have a good time and relax without alcohol. This will be the purpose of the experiment. Read the article how to stop drinking forever, the link was given above.

It's not enough to just stop drinking, you need to find a healthy alternative to what you're used to getting from alcohol, otherwise this 30-day "fast" will not be effective.

Learn to relax

If you need to relax, you can use the recommendations from the previous step and practice one of the relaxation techniques (and/or meditation) every evening in the evening. Try to find during this month healthy ways relaxation: sports in the evenings, swimming pool, walks on fresh air, water procedures. If you are used to relaxing with alcohol, then a connection is fixed in your brain at a neural level between the state of relaxation, comfort and the intake of certain chemical compounds. Thus, a habit is established on physiological processes.

You must break this connection. Get your brain to associate relaxation with the things I listed above. A 30-day "fast" will serve as a good occasion to consolidate new connections.

Learn to pass the time and have fun

If during the period of this “fast” there will be some kind of holiday, then this is wonderful! A great reason to try to have fun without alcohol. According to my own observations, at first, it is very difficult. Some time ago I could not imagine any. And, when I first promised myself not to drink at a friend's birthday party, keeping such a promise passed with great internal resistance. At first, I was even somehow confused, did not know what to do without a bottle. Several hours at the party passed with terrible difficulty, it was boring and uninteresting. But then I began to entertain myself: I talked, listened to music, invented something. And, in the end, had a great time.

The problem with alcohol and other drugs is that they discourage all activity and ingenuity. When a person drinks or uses something, he doesn’t need anything else, some kind of temporary self-sufficiency appears: he drank and you sit trembling with your tongue - nothing else is interesting. Pay attention to drinking companies that bring their children to the gatherings. It could be some kind of barbecue. Children run around, play, make up something, while adults just sit in one place, pushing toast.

Of course, adults are not children, if they are deprived of bottles, they are unlikely to play tag. But this example still at least somehow illustrates the difference in terms of pastime between non-drinkers and drinkers. Non-drinkers have to invent something in order to maintain the collective fun of the holiday, and the bottle destroys all ingenuity in the bud.

Therefore, at first, you will be bored just sitting on your ass and wagging your tongue at all sorts of events without a bottle. Therefore, entertain yourself, have fun, invent something, meet people, dance, find unexpected topics for conversation, show any activity. You will understand how such a pastime is more diverse than alcoholic gatherings. When you get bored, go home, fall asleep healthy sleep with fresh impressions. And wake up in the morning with a fresh head and full of energy, rejoicing at how good you feel. You don't have to pay for the fun with a headache.

Not every company has the opportunity to have a good time without alcohol, as many gather solely for the purpose of drinking: they stuff themselves in a small kitchen, like a herring in a barrel, quickly throw themselves on and sit, filling the pauses between sips with conversation. Naturally, if you do not drink, you may become bored in such company, and there is nothing unnatural in this. Just leave early or don't attend such events at all.

But if the interlocutors are interesting, it is always interesting to just talk to them, no matter if they drink or not. Situations are different, and a lot depends on the company itself, on who these people are, why these people have gathered, and not just on you.

In my experience, I've found that it's easy to have a heart-to-heart conversation without alcohol, that you can relax and have fun without being drunk. It comes with experience, for those who have not even tried, they will never succeed, rest assured. If the holiday is organized well and it revolves not only around the bottle, then you can always find something to do. I noticed that there is a certain line, a line that needs to be crossed, endured.

At first it's boring, but then the atmosphere of the holiday somehow captivates, liberates and amuses without any alcohol. This feeling is made up of good music, smiles from friends, pleasant conversations and new experiences. This feeling invigorates and intoxicates without any harm to health, without any unpleasant consequences. In a 30-day period without drinking, you should visit one holiday and try to enter this state, feel it! If you succeeded, consider you earned a five for the experiment!

Do you say “well” so often that you are about to go crazy about it yourself? Do you bite your nails, and soon your hands will be filmed for a horror movie? Chewing non-stop - and can't stop? Spending money on trifles at an alarming rate?

Good news and bad news It is possible that you suffer from one of the habits described above. You do not have to be chained to these habits all your life. Another good news is that since you have ever learned these stupid things, then you can unlearn them. True, you cannot get rid of them in an instant. It will take time. How? About 90 days, according to Alan Marlatt, professor of psychology at the University of Washington. Fight bad habits Most people are so eager to change their habits that they forget to study themselves thoroughly first. That is why experts recommend starting a diary and analyzing your behavior for two to three weeks. Of course, you might think: “Why is this? I already know that I bite my nails. What else is there to be smart about? But studies have shown that those who try to change behavior without analyzing its causes give up after a few days. Under what circumstances do your habits besiege you - when you are alone or in a company? Reading or watching TV? What mood are you in? Compare these situations. A week or two of observation will help to find out what underlies the habit - the situation or the mood? For example, you have noticed that you constantly want to chew something when you are alone watching TV or when you are nervous. And you bite your nails when you sit down for study / work. Where do habits come from?“Try to see the two sides of your habit—positive and negative,” says Professor Marlatt. For example, you wind your hair around your finger. On the one hand, this, of course, is harmful - you are about to be left completely without hair. On the other hand, it helps when you're nervous. "That's also how a lot of bad habits start, by the way," Marlatt explains. - For a while they can soothe. Therefore, before you get rid of the habit, you need to decide what to do with your hands if they have nowhere to go. ”So, if you are nervously fiddling with your hair, find another way to calm down. If you bite your nails, try to keep your hands busy with something something else, such as playing the piano or drawing. “It's all about,” advises Professor Marlatt, “to find not just any replacement, but a replacement that you like. This will bring double benefits - you will be engaged in an interesting business and will be proud that you have got rid of a bad habit. If you do not find such a replacement, you are doomed to failure. When you give up a habit, you will feel some kind of emptiness - and if you cannot fill it with anything, you will eventually return to this habit. Also try to get rid of situations that give rise to bad habits. If you spend money on trifles, do not take a lot of money with you or try to buy the necessary things first. But the main thing is to fight habits, even in those situations that give rise to them. However, at first you should still avoid such situations, and only then, when you feel strong enough, meet them face to face. Approach the goal gradually. So, if you manage to say “well” 20 times in 15 minutes, try to start saying it at least seven times. Then promise yourself something nice - buy new book, chat on the phone or go to the movies with friends. It is better that the reward follows immediately after the achieved goal. Soon these goals will begin to attract on their own, then it is advisable to gradually reduce the rewards so as not to depend too much on them. Don't set yourself up for failure One common mistake is to expect too much from the start. Many retreat because they foresee failure. Others because they want to perform several tasks at once: do not touch their hair, and stop chewing, and get up on time, and keep the room in order. You probably know people who each New Year give yourself a vow to change. And often this backfires. So don't climb too high. Don't try to get rid of more than one habit at once. And before you deal with the next habit, wait a few months. If you get rid of one habit generated by nervousness, it will be much easier for you to get rid of another caused by the same reason. And in three months you will see what's wrong. You will find out which rewards you like best. And most importantly - you will understand that you are generally able to overcome yourself. Turn it into a fun science experiment!

Hello, dear readers, Ruslan Tsvirkun is with you again and today I want to introduce you to a new section “Readers' Questions”.

Me in mailbox various questions come up from time to time, and some of them, which I think will be of interest to others as well, I will post answers on the blog.

Reader Question

« Good afternoon, please tell me how to give up bad habits? How to quit smoking, stop drinking alcohol, how to become a vegetarian and lead healthy lifestyle life? I understand that this is right, but I don’t have the strength to give up everything and live differently, since for many years these habits have been present in my life ”.

I bring to your attention a new video containing the answer to this question, as well as a text version.

My answer

First of all, you need to understand what these very habits are. What do we live with and what do we get from them. Quitting smoking, quitting drinking, becoming a vegetarian is not difficult, provided we understand what we are dealing with. It is necessary to give honest answers to yourself, what good and what harm do I get from smoking, using intoxicating substances, eating animal meat, etc.

And at the same time, even understanding theoretically, sometimes it is difficult to give up what you are used to for long years. And especially if there is no alternative.
For example, we have a cracker, and there is no other food besides it. We will never refuse it just like that, but if they give us fresh tasty bread in return, or even better a big cake and ask us to refuse crackers, we will easily do it.

So it is with bad habits. We are used to it and we have nothing better. Therefore, the number one task is to find a different taste. To find a higher taste, a taste that will override the lower.
Where to get it, this supreme taste?
Find those who already have it and communicate with such individuals. Communication is a very powerful factor in our development.
As the Russian proverb says: "Tell me who your friend is and I'll tell you who you are."

It's amazing, but it's almost impossible to radically change your habits while remaining in the company of those who have these habits in full. For example, it is impossible to become a teetotaler in a society of lovers of strong drinks or to quit smoking in a society of smokers. Although, of course, nothing is impossible and there are exceptions to the rules that essentially confirm the rules. In general, it is more difficult to do this if environment not conducive to it.

But it is worth starting to communicate with people who have other values, other aspirations - and this is already much easier to do. There will be enthusiasm and a desire to get rid of bad habits. And this process can be absolutely painless.

Negative and positive method of getting rid of bad habits

Negative

Artificially, it is impossible to refuse something for a long time. Most often, a breakdown occurs and a person returns to old habits with even greater enthusiasm))
For example, a person is on a diet to lose weight)) No wonder that at some point you can catch him in the middle of the night at the refrigerator with a big sandwich in his hands))

This is a kind of negative process of getting rid of bad habits.

positive process is when we bring something into our lives. For example, a person smokes and wants to quit smoking. You can start by not quitting smoking, but start doing some kind of sport or yoga. Morning jogging, or biking, or swimming, or whatever. And gradually the understanding will come that smoking interferes with this. Or a person wants to lose weight, in which case you need a complete diet, do not starve yourself, but eat foods that do not lead to obesity (this may be more in the diet of fresh fruits and vegetables)
Or a person has decided to become a vegetarian, and to give up meat does not mean now eating only carrots and potatoes. There are thousands of vegetarian dishes that you need to learn how to cook. Acquire a new skill, so to speak, and then naturally the taste of the new cuisine, which will no doubt be much more diverse and tastier than the old one.
The same is true with alcohol, drugs and any other intoxicating substances.

To give up cracker you need a delicious cake, otherwise without a cracker and without a cake a person will go crazy. And this delicious cake it does not have to be a cake in its direct sense, it can be anything. What inspires us and inspires enthusiasm for action. In order to give up something, you must first accept something.

We eradicate bad habits from the inside

Looking deeper, it should be understood that we can external level find an alternative to your bad habits by changing your lifestyle, playing sports, or finding some other hobby. However, this does not fundamentally solve the problem. To change something fundamentally, you need to change your consciousness.

There are many examples when people gave up bad habits by changing their minds, finding new goals in life. Striving for personal and spiritual growth. The desire to grow and improve can override any bad habits we have.

, which we talked about in one of the previous issues, I recommend that you read it.

My example of getting rid of bad habits

In my case, it was that I began to study the Vedic culture, and gradually deepening my understanding, doing spiritual practice, directing my consciousness to the inner search for myself and Absolute Truth, gradually began to leave everything that interferes. For more than 10 years I have been a vegetarian, do not smoke, do not drink alcohol and other intoxicating substances, and this is not somehow forced or artificial. Just at some point in life, it all began to go away by itself without any extra effort, as a different taste, an alternative appeared.

That's all, I will be grateful for your comments.

If you have any questions, please ask them on the page by filling out the appropriate form.

Don't forget about new blog posts so you don't miss anything.

Sincerely, Ruslan Tsvirkun.

!”, “Today I’ll go, sign up for gym and I will go 3 times a week, for sure!”, “I’ll go to bed early tonight!”. Probably, each of us made such promises to himself. However, not everyone succeeds in getting rid of “favorite” habits. It is not true that habit is second nature. In fact, habit is first nature. By and large, the habit is ourselves. That is why the victory over a bad habit is a victory over oneself, and, as the ancient Greeks said, this is the greatest victory.

What is a habit

In psychology, this concept is given the following definition: a habit is a learned action that has become automated and carried out without special efforts. In other words, these are the things we do without thinking.
It appears very simply. One day, a person does something. Initially, he has to consciously perform and control not only the action as a whole, but also individual movements or operations through which he performs it. However, by repeating it several times, it becomes easier to do it, and in the future you completely stop noticing how, when you come home, you habitually put on slippers, kiss your wife, sit on the sofa, turn on the TV ...
As a result of repetition, a person acquires the ability to perform many actions without thinking why he needs it and how best to do it. This is what is called automation. This is where the whole complexity of the mechanism of habit lies. What makes a person do a habitual action lives not on the surface of his consciousness, but deep inside. A habit is a subconscious program that a person follows. Contrary to popular belief, this program is not at all an enemy of the individual, but on the contrary, it is a great helper. It is a means of saving energy in our internal system. Becoming automated, habitual actions or reactions cease to take time and effort from us to think about them, prepare for them, experience them, and perform them. They happen by themselves, leaving us energy to solve more complex problems.
However, there are habits that destroy our health, or push people away from us, put us in a stalemate and make us repent of our deeds. I want to get rid of them, but it's so difficult to do it! Very difficult. But you can.

Determine the cause

At its core, a habit is a much deeper concept than an automated act. Habitual action is just the tip of a huge iceberg. This is the point to which the mass of causes, living not only in human mind but also subconscious.
Therefore, in order to get rid of a habit, of course, from a bad habit, MirSovetov advises first to identify the cause that precedes its appearance. The eradication of a habit in one's behavior without eliminating its cause can lead to the birth of a new habit, even more serious, or to the emergence of a neurosis based on the suppression of its root cause.
The peculiarities of the psychological state lead to the formation of any habit. For example, the bad habit of nail biting is manifested due to stress. Often this becomes a sign of a protracted neurosis that is looking for a way out, and the person tries to calm down by satisfying the sucking reflex. This also includes all other bad habits associated with the oral region of the face - overeating, smoking (the psychological, not the medical aspect of the problem), biting lips, pencils, etc. Uncertainty about one's appearance can manifest itself in the constant pulling of clothes, correcting hair or makeup. General nervousness and insecurity can manifest itself in fiddling with clothes or some other object at moments of particularly acute tension.
Again, in order to defeat a bad habit, it is necessary to understand its cause. And for this you need to watch yourself. If you begin to nervously fiddle with your earlobe every time your beloved mother-in-law gives " helpful tips» how to live better, it becomes clear the source of your constant irritation, and, consequently, the bad habit. Or nail biting comes from the fact that there are constant quarrels and conflicts at home. And you fiddle with clothes because you are afraid to express your opinion since childhood. And you snap your fingers as soon as you find yourself in the boss's office. Often, excluding provocative situations, a person forgets about his bad habits. For example, on vacation, or changing jobs. In some cases, you should even seek the help of a psychologist. It happens that even one visit becomes enough to figure out what your habit is signaling about and deal with this problem.
However, there are bad habits based not only on deep psychological problems. The reasons can be quite banal, such as ignorance of the rules of etiquette, which may result in the habit of slurping while eating, or picking your nose in public. And the wrong organization of work and personal time can lead to such uniquely bad habits as going to bed long after midnight, waking up late, being late, not having breakfast, then skipping lunch, eating before bed, and so on.
Introspection is very important when breaking a habit, but all your activity cannot be limited to this. The attack on the habit must be carried out from several fronts at once. Therefore, further MirSovetov will give some advice related to the elimination different kind habits.

Find what you like about your bad habit

The mechanism of habit formation has an important feature - a pleasant emotional background. An action that has become habitual becomes so only when it evokes pleasant sensations or emotions. For example, smoking gives us mass good points: thanks to a cigarette, you can easily start a conversation or be distracted and refresh your thoughts during experiences. These are important ones that need to be satisfied. Now it becomes clear why all the terrible consequences, such as cancer, destruction circulatory system and so on, fade into the background.

Sociological studies have been carried out in Canada. Participants were asked to give their assessment of the risks associated with bad habits. It turned out that people were well aware of which habits were the most harmful, but this did not become a reason to abandon them.

Therefore, before getting rid of a bad habit, you need to understand how important it is for you personally. If you don't care that your officemate is annoyed by the fact that you are picking your ear with your little finger, then there is no point in torturing yourself and trying to wean yourself. But in the case when you really understand that the harm caused by any habit is much stronger than its positive sides, then you have already prepared yourself to get rid of it.

Make a firm decision

by the most important condition getting rid of a bad habit is one that should never, under any circumstances, be broken. This is what is essential to breaking the habit. In this, as is commonly believed, the will of man is manifested. And if real reason quitting a habit doesn't make you quit, there are a few things you can do to help. Imagine what might happen if you break your promise to yourself. For example, the misfortune that will happen to loved ones if you return to your bad habit again. The scarier, the more effective. Or bet with someone for a very significant amount for you that you will never eat Doshirak during your lunch break again. Remember, there is no weak will. Sometimes weak.

Perhaps few know, but one of the great writers owed his success to a servant who helped his master to acquire the useful habit of getting up early. The agreement was as follows: the writer promised to pay the servant extra for waking him up in the morning, no matter how much he (the writer) tried to drive the servant away from himself. The servant exactly followed the instructions of his master, and it was thanks to this (as the writer later admitted) that many of his works saw the light.

Get a new habit

Now that you have definitely decided to get rid of a bad habit, you need to start taking concrete actions. One of the most effective ways is to acquire a new habit to replace the old one. And new habit should become a kind of substitute for the old, that is, to bring pleasure. If you decide to get up every morning at 8-00, then for this, you need to develop the habit of going to bed no later than 23-00. To do this, you sit down to dinner at 19-00. The result is the following - you have more time during the day, get enough sleep, feel better, and, in addition, lose weight due to an early dinner. And MirSovetov advises to replace frequent smoke breaks, for example, with a cup of fragrant tea. Or the habit of gnawing a pen can be replaced by the habit of some pictures in the corner of the sheet.
The most important thing is to repeat these actions constantly so that the new algorithm turns into a new subconscious program.

Create conditions

Do not subject your will to overload at first. Therefore, try to avoid those situations that push you to take up the old again. For example, if you have an addiction to late dinners, fill your evening with something so interesting that you don’t even think about the refrigerator at 22-00.
MirSovetov also recommends including one more tactic here - to stay away from people suffering from bad habits that you want to get rid of. This is explained by the fact that a person from childhood tends to imitate. Therefore, he involuntarily learns the behavioral traits of his environment. It is extremely difficult to refuse alcohol in a cheerful company of drinking friends.
If you suffer from such a habit as, then perhaps the point is the lack of self-organization. Here you will be helped by the schedule of your affairs, which clearly states not only the time of the meeting, but also the time of departure.

Control yourself

This approach is one of the most difficult, and requires constant attention. But, nevertheless, in many cases it is necessary. For example, if you have a habit of fiddling with the edge of your sweater, shaking your leg, drumming your fingers, pronouncing parasitic words (such as "uh", "nuu", "as it were", "this", "you understand" and many others) during a speech or negotiations, it is worth learning perfectly the speech or what you are going to say to an important interlocutor. In general, it is generally worthwhile to prepare well for such situations - to think over appearance how you will hold yourself, all the way down to your posture. This will help you feel freer and reduce the level of anxiety, which in turn will give you the opportunity to control yourself in relation to the habit. Remember that every detail is visible on stage. Therefore, you need to prepare as carefully as possible. As assistants, you can use improvised means. Hands can be occupied with sheets of text, and legs can be placed in such a position that it is inconvenient to constantly shake them.
At home, you can hang bright reminders in places related to your habits. For example, write on a chair: “Put your clothes in the closet,” or hang an image of a person suffering from extreme obesity on the refrigerator.
By and large, the elements of self-control are always present when you are struggling with any of your bad habits.

Turn to self-hypnosis

One of the most unusual ways to cope with bad habits is the use of self-hypnosis. The self-hypnosis technique consists of the following components:

• Motivation;
• Relaxation;
• Concentration;
• Imagination;
• Self-hypnosis.

Suppose that you already have motivation - this is the reason why you decided to get rid of a bad habit.
When you begin self-hypnosis for this purpose, you begin with absolute relaxation. Silence will help to achieve it, calm atmosphere, a comfortable posture and a refusal to comprehend pressing problems. In such a peaceful state, proceed to comprehend your task, think it over carefully and from all sides.
The next step is to present your new image that is pleasant to yourself without a bad habit. For example, trying to get rid of the habit of nervously fiddling with something in your hands during important negotiations, you see yourself as a solid and respected person who keeps any situation under control. At this stage of self-hypnosis, you mentally pronounce a phrase that is designed to remove a bad habit from your subconscious. The phrase should be short and clear. For example, "I am free from fears and feel confident," or "I will go on a diet and lose excess weight". You need to repeat it at least 10 times, and then gradually exit the hypnotic state. You can slowly count from 1 to 10.
Such exercises must be done constantly until you feel that your bad habit has left you forever.

Remember that our behavior is entirely made up of a variety of habits. The ability to manage them is the most important ability to manage yourself, and therefore your whole life.