Quotes from the film Prisoner of the Caucasus. One small but very proud bird... One small but proud bird

November 29th, 2014 , 02:00 pm

One small but proud bird...

Latvia is a country with a population of just under two million people. A third is the number of only registered residents of the Moscow region and one fifth of the same official number of Moscow. Slightly more than half the population of the distant Krasnoyarsk Territory.

In terms of territory, Latvia is comparable to countries such as Sri Lanka, Togo, and Croatia. It is smaller than Denmark, Bhutan and Haiti. From east to west the country - from Ludza to Ventspils - can be driven in six hours, this is approximately 450 km, and from south to north - from Daugavpils to Valka - in three and a half hours, this is approximately 280 km.

The population of Latvia consists of twenty percent “non-citizens”. These are people who were born in this country, but are not ethnic Latvians.

Yes, don’t be surprised that it’s the twenty-first century, and in Europe there are countries that are depriving part of their population civil rights. In addition to Latvia, such racial policies are pursued by Lithuania and Estonia.

Despite the already small number of inhabitants, in fact there are even fewer people in the country. As soon as Latvia joined the European Union, its residents began mass labor migration to Great Britain and Ireland. According to unofficial statistics, but there are simply no official ones, up to 80% of the working population of this proud country works as servants in hotels Western Europe, fixes plumbing, sweeps streets. The local population treats them in much the same way as we treat migrants from Central Asia.

There is no economy in Latvia. The GDP is slightly more than in Cote d'Ivoire, and less than in Tanzania. This country is not able to maintain its own army or navy, therefore all foreign policy statements of the Latvian government are associated with hysterical requests to ensure their security. In response to these statements by the United States and NATO countries stationed their bases there, thereby leveling the country’s independence as an independent state.

In addition to poverty, or rather as a result of it, nationalist sentiments are strong in Latvia. Russia, which has fed this country for fifty years, is usually called an occupier and considered enemy number one.

Russia, in return, is still the main sponsor of life in Latvia. We supply not only industrial goods from this country, which are not in demand anywhere else, but we also organize all the cultural events of the proud state. This is the New Wave in Jurmala, and the loud KiViN there. Flocking to Latvia Russian figures crops provide revenue for hotels, restaurants and, thus, contribute significant part into the country's meager budget.

This summer the Latvian government finally lost common sense. It came to the point where it was ready to gouge out its own eye just to make it worse for someone else. The Latvian Ministry of Foreign Affairs refused to issue visas to some Russian artists for the New Wave festival.

I think it’s time to stop sponsoring the economy of a country that is unfriendly to us, stop importing it, and respond to the aggressive and offensive statements of the head of this state that have recently appeared in the news.

It seems they heard us. Igor Krutoy, who is the organizer of the New Wave in Jurmala, is considering the issue of moving the festival from Latvia to another country. In response, the head of the Latvian Foreign Ministry

(recorded by Shurik and others)

My great-grandfather said: “I have a desire to buy a house, but I don’t have the opportunity.
I have the opportunity to buy a goat, but I have no desire.”
So let's drink to ensure that our desires coincide with our capabilities!

And then one small but very proud bird said:
- Personally, I will fly straight to the Sun!
And she began to rise higher and higher, but very soon she burned her wings and fell to the very bottom of the deepest gorge!
So let’s drink so that each of us, no matter how high he rises, will never tear himself away from the team!

At a driving school in Georgia, a driver's license applicant takes an exam. The inspector explains the traffic situation:
— You are driving in a car along a narrow road. On the left is the high-high mountain. On the right is a steep, steep abbreviation. Suddenly on the road there is a beautiful girl. And next to her is a terrible, terrible old woman. Who are you going to push?
- Of course, the old woman!
- Fool!.. You need to apply the brake!
So let's drink to difficult situation We didn't forget to hit the brakes!

On the beach, a girl asks her mother: “Mommy, why are the aunties’ swimsuits smooth, and the uncles’ swimsuits protruding?” The mother was embarrassed and wanted to spank the girl, but then she said with a serious look:
- “And the uncles, daughter, put money there.”
I propose a toast to rich wallets!

There is one old Georgian toast. The toastmaster gets up, raises his glass of Kindzmarauli... and suddenly feels that a fuss has begun in his stomach. He decided to make a toast, fire the gun, and release his worries at the same time. So I did. But, oh horror! The gun misfired, but this case did not misfire. A shame! He went to the mountains. After 10 years he returns and asks the boy: “What happened during this time?” “Since the toastmaster farted, nothing interesting has happened,” he answered. So let's drink so that thoughts do not diverge from actions!

One Georgian tells a friend:
- Understand! I visited the doctor, and he told me: “You can’t drink! No smoking! You can’t do it with women!”
- Poor thing! - a friend sympathizes.
- What kind of poor thing am I? I gave him money... and he gave me permission to do everything!
Let's drink to the rich people!

One night I was walking through the park, the moon, the stars, and a guy and a girl were kissing on a bench. I go another time: the moon, the stars... and the same guy on the same bench kisses another girl. I go next time: night, moon, stars... and the same guy, on the same bench, already with a third girl.
So let's drink to the constancy of men and the fickleness of women!

One day, a swallow with her little chicks was fleeing from predators and found herself on the edge of a deep mountain gorge. And the first chick began to ask:
- Mommy, bear with me, and I will always love you!
- You're lying! - said the swallow and threw him into the abyss.
- Mom, move me, and I will save you someday too! - said the second chick.
- You're lying! - said the swallow and also threw him into the abyss.
And the third chick said:
- Mom, save me, and when I grow up, I will also save my children!
“But you’re telling the truth,” said the swallow and saved him.
So let's drink to the bitter truth!

Don't drink water if you can drink wine!
Don't drink wine if you can drink good wine!
Don't drink good wine when you can drink very good wine!
And most importantly, don’t forget to drink so that you always have money for something better!

Let's drink to the fact that you live for 132 years.
And so that you die at 132 years old.
And he just died, but he was killed.
And they didn’t just kill, but stabbed to death.
And they didn’t just kill him, but out of jealousy.
And not just out of jealousy, but to the cause!

Friends! Let's drink to our enemies. So that they have everything: a country villa, a luxury car in the garage, Persian carpets, a swimming pool, a fireplace, and of course, a satellite phone that they would call only on 01, 02 and 03!!!

There is no need to chase a woman like a runaway tram. Remember that the next tram is coming behind you.
So let's drink to trams running more often!

Once a young horseman was riding through the mountains of beautiful Georgia with his beautiful wife. He hit as strong as a bull, as fast as mountain river, his eyes were like those of an eagle, his dagger was sharp, like an attack of appendicitis, his mind was tortuous, like scribble on a hat...
And so, on the rock above the road appeared Mountain goat. And the horseman, at full gallop, pulled out his gun and shot at the animal, but not a single muscle flinched on the goat’s muzzle. Then he stopped his horse and, taking aim, shot again, but the goat did not even move. Then the horseman got down to the ground, and, kneeling down, fired again, but the goat only jumped to the side. And when the horseman wanted to lie down to shoot, the goat had already disappeared. Both the young horseman and his young wife died of hunger.
So let's drink to the fact that on our life path I've never come across assholes like these!

A girl's weapon is her clothes.
Let's drink to general disarmament.

An eagle was flying high in the sky. And the Eagle had a beautiful pearl necklace around his neck. Suddenly, a Golden Eagle flies out from behind a cloud and says to the Eagle: “Make way for me!”
But the proud Eagle said: “No!” and did not give way. And they began to fight. They fought day and night and no one could win. In the heat of the fight, Berkut accidentally broke the necklace and the pearls scattered all over the Earth...
So let's drink to those Beautiful Pearls that sit here among us!

Women are flowers. And flowers are beautiful when they bloom.
So let's drink to loose women!

People say: "If you want to accept correct solution, consult with your wife and do the opposite. I drink to our wives who give us the opportunity to difficult situation find the right solution.

One wise Georgian said:
If you want to be happy for one day, get drunk.
If you want to be happy for a week, pretend to be sick.
If you want to be happy for a month, get married.
If you want to be happy for a year, take a mistress.
If you want to be happy all your life, be healthy, dear!
And to do this, do exercises every day!
So let's drink to the happiness of everyone present - to health!

A real man is a man who remembers exactly a woman's birthday and never knows how old she is.
And a man who never remembers a woman’s birthday, but knows exactly how old she is, is her real husband.
So let's raise a glass to real men!

Suliko and Shota lived and fell in love with each other. They fell in love and got married. We just got married, Shota needs to go on a business trip.
“Don’t worry,” he says to his young wife, “I’ll be back in three days.”
Three days have passed, three times three days have passed, and Shota does not return, ten times three days have passed, and Shota is still not there.
The young wife became worried and sent ten true friends telegrams. And telegrams came from ten cities from ten faithful friends:
- Don't worry, Shota is with us!
So let's drink to true friends who don't let you down in trouble!

A toad crawled across the rails. A train passed and cut off her legs. The toad crawled to the side and thought: “They were beautiful legs, I should come back.” As soon as she climbed onto the rail, the train passed again and cut off her head.
So let's drink to not losing our heads over beautiful legs!

Two disputants came to the wise Georgian with a request to judge them. He first listened carefully to the plaintiff and, when he finished speaking, told him:
- "Yes, you are right!"
Then the defendant began to make excuses. The sage listened to him very carefully. And then he said:
- "You are absolutely right!"
Here the sage's wife intervened.
- “How can it be that both disputants are right?” - she asked her husband quietly.
The sage remained silent thoughtfully, thought and said to her:
- “You know what, you’re right too!”
This toast is for those who are always right!

It was once said by a Georgian sage: “Beware of the goat in front, the horse behind, and the women on top.”
Because if you gape, she will sit on your neck. Men, if you have neck osteochondrosis, don’t let it go, treat it... and most importantly, take care of your eyesight. Your vigilance guards the boundaries of personal sovereignty!

Somewhere high and high in the mountains of Georgia, where the air is as pure as a baby’s tear, and the rivers are as bright as misl, Gil-Bil is a young horseman, Katori is herding sheep (he was a shepherd). And then one day, while he was grazing his sheep, the ringing silence of the mountains was cut through by the trill of a mobile phone. All the rams stopped eating grass and turned their heads towards the young shepherd. The shepherd took out his phone and, turning to the sheep, said:
- Calm down, this lady!
So let’s drink to the fact that no sheep will stop us from communicating today!

In ancient times, an ancient frigate was wrecked in the ocean. Only one person was able to escape - he grabbed a floating long plank and remained on the surface of the water. Half an hour later, out of nowhere, the second victim emerged and grabbed the other end of this plank. The first one started crying.
The second one asked:
- Why are you crying?
The first one said:
- Wah! There is nothing to treat such a guest with!
So let's drink to our dear hosts, who will always find something to treat even uninvited guests.

Dear... I drink to your coffin, made from the wood of a hundred-year-old oak tree that I planted this morning.

What do you want to be, Gogi, when you grow up? - the guest asked the baby.
“I want to become a businessman like dad,” Gogi answered. “Yesterday he took me to the office, and I really liked how he worked there and spent his time there.”
- And how will you work?
“In the morning I’ll leave the office, sit down at the table, light a long cigarette, and start saying that I have an awful lot to do and that I’ll have to get started after lunch.” Then after lunch I’ll go with a businessman friend to a restaurant and eat and drink, then I’ll return to the office and scold everyone for not doing anything. Then I’ll go home and, terribly tired, lie down on the sofa and watch TV.
So let's drink to the children - our future!

There is a Mountain of Love in Georgia. Many ancient legends are associated with it.
One day, a young shepherd and a princess fell in love with each other and ran away from home. The old prince sent in pursuit of them. The lovers climbed the Mountain of Love. The prince's servants overtook them. And then the shepherd said:
- Let me jump first!
“No,” said the princess, “then I will die of torment.”
And the princess was the first to rush down. The shepherd looked at her lifeless body and descended from the Mountain of Love.
So let's drink to those men who leave the elevator first!

Vano is walking in the mountains. Suddenly Vano hears a terrible scream. Vano sees the entrance to a dark cave. Vano enters the cave. He walks and walks... Suddenly he sees: a Phoenix bird sitting with its bare bottom on a hot frying pan and screaming.

Vano asks:

- Listen, Phoenix bird, why are you sitting with your bare butt on a hot frying pan and yelling?

- Wow, Vano! If I hadn’t sat with my bare bottom on a hot frying pan and screamed, then who would have paid attention to me?

So let's drink to our women, who don't have to sit with their bare bottoms on a hot frying pan and scream just to get attention!

Once upon a time, in a distant Georgian mountain village, there lived an old man, and he had a beautiful daughter. And so he decided to marry her off. He called the horsemen and gave them the following speech:
- Whichever of you climbs this high mountain so that not a single pebble will fall from under his foot, it will catch him there Mountain sheep, will bring him to my feet and kill him so that not a single drop of blood will fall on my snow-white robe, and so, one of you will become the husband of my beautiful daughter. And whoever does not do this, I will kill him.
And then the first horseman came out. He was brave, dexterous, smart, but one small grain of sand fell from under his foot - and his old father stabbed him to death.
Then the second horseman came out, and he was also brave, dexterous, smart, and handsome. He brought a mountain ram to the feet of the old father and began to cut the ram's throat with his sharp dagger. But one small drop of blood fell on the snow-white robe of the old father - and the second horseman fell, stabbed to death, next to the first.
And then the third horseman came out, and he was the proudest, bravest, dexterous and handsome. He brought the ram to the feet of the old father, surgically cut open the throat of the ram without a single drop of blood, and looked joyfully at the old father. But his old father also stabbed him to death. The beautiful daughter screamed in horror:
- Listen, atets! After all, the third horseman did everything as you ordered! Why did you kill him?
And the old father said to her:
- For company!
So let's drink to good and warm company!

Once a man was traveling from one village to another. The road passed through the mountains of Georgia, winding between rocks, along cliffs and abysses. Suddenly the donkey stopped - and didn’t move. The owner began to tug and urge him. The donkey stands rooted to the spot. The owner began to scold him with nasty words, call him names, and whip him. But the donkey remained standing as he stood. Then he went himself. And then the man saw a huge stone around the bend, it had just fallen, and if his donkey had not stopped, then... The owner hugged the animal and thanked him.
So let's drink to the fact that we always listen to the opinion of another person in a dispute, even if he is a donkey!

Historians believe that this story was first heard 2,500 years ago, in the Ganges River valley; however, it remains relevant today. So...

One day, a young lioness left her pride in search of a secluded corner to give birth. She found a suitable place, deep in the jungle, in the shade under a rock, and settled down there. But, unfortunately, there King Cobra guarded her clutch.

They rushed at each other as soon as they saw them, without thinking for a second. Each of them was brave and fearless, fighting for their unborn offspring.

Of course, the lioness killed the cobra. Of course, the cobra stung the lioness. But since the lioness was young and strong, she had the strength to give birth to a lion cub, lick it, and after that she died.

The newborn lion cub would inevitably die, but, fortunately for him, a herd of rams passed by those places. It accepted, raised and educated him. Naturally, he began to feel like a sheep.

The rams thought he was a little strange, nervous, short-haired and very big. The goats avoided him, considering him a terrible monster. Yes, and of course, he was a vegetarian.

Years passed, and then one day a mighty lion left his pride and, in search of food, crept up on a herd of rams. He looked at them and couldn’t believe his eyes. In the middle of the herd walked a young lion, in all his royal splendor, and the rams were not at all afraid of him.

The lion's heart literally boiled with resentment for his relative. He forgot about hunting and rushed after the herd with a roar. But the young lion did not rush across him, but ran away from him along with the rams. Finally, he caught the young lion and threw him to the ground. He cried, bleated and begged him:
“Please let me go back to my brothers!”

From this pitiful bleating, the old lion became even more furious. He grabbed him by the mane and dragged him to mountain lake, quiet, without any ripples, which was like a clean mirror.

He forcefully tilted him towards the water and forced him to look at his reflection. The young lion looked at the water surface in fear, but did not see a ram there, he saw two lions looking at the water.

The moment the young lion realized who he was, he straightened up, squared his shoulders, and let out a great roar. So strong that even the Mighty Ganges trembled for a moment from its roar. Before that, he had never growled, because he considered himself a ram and never doubted it.

After this the mighty lion said:
- Well, I did everything I could for you. I showed you who you are, and now everything depends on you. If you want, you can come with me, and if you want, you can go back to the herd of sheep?
The young lion laughed and said:
- Never! Now I know who I am, and this knowledge will determine my future path.

Leonid Gaidai’s painting “Prisoner of the Caucasus” has become a cult favorite. Words cannot describe its greatness. Today we decided that it was better to publish not phrases from the movie, but... toasts!

What is this?
- You need some toast.
- Yes.
- A toast without wine is the same as the wedding night without a bride.
- No, I don’t drink.
- Do I drink? What's there to drink?
***
Life, as they say, is good!
- A good life is even better!
***
- You misunderstood me. I don't drink at all. Do you understand? I don't have the physical ability.
- This is the first toast about this.
***

My great-grandfather says: I want to buy a house, but I don’t have the opportunity.
I have the opportunity to buy a goat, but I have no desire.
So let's drink to ensure that our desires coincide with our capabilities.
***
- Well done.
- So.
- Listen to another toast.
- So…
***
And when the whole flock flew south for the winter,
one small but proud bird said: “Personally, I will fly straight into the sun.”
She began to rise higher and higher, but very soon she burned her wings and fell to the very bottom of the deepest gorge.
So let's drink so that none of us, no matter how high he flies,
I would never break away from the team.
- What happened dear?
- What, what is it, dear?
- I feel sorry for the bird!

And the princess hung herself with her own braid out of anger, because he
I accurately counted how many grains are in the bag, how many drops are in the sea, and how many stars are in the sky.
So let's drink to the cybernetics!
- Cheers!
- Cheers!