The anniversary evening forecast is comic for guests. Funny horoscopes for the New Year holiday

Leading:

Dear guests, today an astronomer and predictor came to us, who made a forecast for next year, intended for our hero of the day, based on the stars.

Details, attributes: white robe, a folder of books under his arm, a telescope in his hand and a poster-congratulations-prediction on coming year for the hero of the day. The prediction and poster are printed, and you don’t have to memorize the text, but simply read it from the sheet.
Astronomer:

Hello dear guests and our unrivaled hero of the day.
In the previous month, I worked on (NAME's) horoscope.
I was inspired by the location of the nearby planets Mars and Venus, and the unusual cycle of our sun.
After carefully determining the degrees between the Moon and other planets solar system, according to the existing pattern, spiral cyclicity, an accurate and individual prediction has been made for our (NAME).

A busy work schedule will bring a little discord in family relationships. Virgos' behavior has not satisfied their partners for some time. Virgos are used to controlling their loved ones, constantly teaching and being jealous. On this basis, relationships will cool, which can lead to separation....

Which are present at every feast, liberate people and often show those sides that a person prefers to hide in Everyday life. the site will tell you who is best to sit down with festive table to avoid trouble.

Aries

Aries loves to drink and eat. Moreover, he knows when to stop everything. He always has a couple in his arsenal interesting stories, which can make your neighbor at the table laugh.

The ideal neighbor for Aries is Gemini. Aries may not have the same personalities as Capricorn, Leo, Virgo, Scorpio and Aries.

Taurus

Taurus people are very attentive and courteous. He will not be the person who can liven up the evening, but his calmness and patience with others is worth a lot.

Taurus will get along well at the table with Cancer and Capricorn. But the talkative Gemini and the demanding Leo can tire Taurus.

Twins

He is not at all whimsical in food, drinks and company. The main thing for Gemini is to be listened to. And he will really talk a lot!

Gemini will have a good neighborhood with Leo and Aquarius. But Capricorn, Virgo and Cancer pleasant communication with Gemini they will be completely unprepared.

Cancer

Cancers behave very well-mannered and tactfully at the table. If a group of friends gathers, Cancer will be sweet and smiling. Among unfamiliar table neighbors, he will most likely choose modest silence.

Suitable tablemates for Cancer are Leo and Scorpio. Unsuitable - Libra, Gemini and Aquarius.

a lion

Leo is an eloquent and charming guest. He will prove himself at the table the best way. If he is offended, he will not make a scandal, but will remain silent proudly and for a long time.

Gemini is ideal for Leo at the table. Libra, Sagittarius and Cancer will evoke a reserved condescension in Leo.

Virgo

Virgos at the table are very attentive to the emotions of their neighbors. Virgo will not only listen and feel sorry, but will also give useful advice. Capricorn and Scorpio will especially appreciate these qualities.


Scales

Libras are charming conversationalists. They are delicate in their judgments and know how to find a compromise even in the midst of a loud dispute.

Leo and Libra will be excellent companions during a feast for Libra. But who should be kept further away are Scorpio, Cancer and Capricorn.

Scorpion

Scorpio tends to go to extremes. If he has good mood, everyone will be comfortable, and vice versa.

At the same table, Scorpio will be interested in Pisces, Taurus, Cancer or Virgo. But Leo, Aries, Libra, Capricorn and Aquarius are not suitable for his company.

Sagittarius

Sagittarius is the ideal guest. He understands cuisine, wine, people - everything. Sagittarius will easily support any topic with his interlocutor, so he will get along with any guest. The only thing is that Capricorn may have problems establishing contact.


Capricorn

Capricorn is not the best the best option for a party. He considers himself an expert in all areas, but this is not perceived very well from the outside.

It is better to identify Taurus, Virgo and Pisces as Capricorn's neighbors, who will not make any attempt to stand out against its background. All others are not suitable for him, which causes certain difficulties in choosing a place for Capricorn at the table.

Aquarius

Aquarians, as a rule, are the instigators of all scandals and fights. If Aquarius is comfortable, those around him will also be comfortable, but if not... It’s better to let him be comfortable.

The ideal company for Aquarius is ironic Gemini, Leo, Pisces and Sagittarius. And as far as possible from Aquarius, you should seat Capricorn, Scorpio (without fail) and preferably Virgo, Taurus and Cancer.

Fish

Pisces are supporting actors. They are very reserved and helpful people. If a hurricane breaks out at the table, then Pisces will act as a stabilizer. Pisces can easily spend an evening in the company of absolutely any Zodiac Sign.

JoeInfoMedia journalist Marina Korneva also suggests familiarizing yourself with. Find out how you and your partner are a perfect match.

According to eastern horoscope, 2018 a year will pass under the aegis of yellow dog. A comic horoscope for 2018 will tell you what to expect different signs zodiac from animal.

Comic horoscope for 2018 for Aries

It's time for all Aries to put work on the backburner and say to themselves: “Hello, rest!” These guys worked really hard in the Year of the Rooster, it’s time to take a break and devote themselves to other areas of activity. Get yourself in order, powder your nose, take your significant other on your arm - and go ahead and look for adventures. Fortunately, as the comic horoscope for 2018 predicts, the Yellow Dog is ready to forgive you everything.

Attention! Don’t forget about your loved ones, they also need your attention - you can’t spend all your time in a stuffy office and with boring colleagues.

Definitely, next year Aries is the center of the Universe, the world revolves around you. But be careful with fans: there is a risk that someone will want to steal your heart seriously and for a long time. Don’t try to dive headlong into feelings. A dog will not help a drowning person, so remain vigilant.

Comic horoscope for 2018 for Taurus

Taurus, are you ready to lose your head? As the comic horoscope 2018 predicts according to the zodiac signs, the Year of the Dog is preparing something mind-blowing for you; quickly hide your horns, otherwise you may scare the animal. It's time to leave your slowness for later and get used to the frantic rhythm, so that you don't have to wait long for the desired results of your scams.

Millions of praise and flattering words will be addressed to the representatives of the sign, no criticism, only charm. What can we say about luck, it will be all next year hold Taurus by the arm and accompany you at all important events.

About eternal mutual love dreamed? And here! The dog has already managed to prepare for Taurus a meeting with their other half. Looking forward to sweet taste future 2018? It's about time!

Comic horoscope for 2018 for Gemini

The comic horoscope for 2018 according to the signs states that it is time to gather all the will and strength into a fist and start changing your life. Hey, Gemini, stop lying on the couch and waiting for something to change, get up quickly and get rid of all the unnecessary junk and bad thoughts. The dog has prepared a lot for the representatives of the sign good opportunities for self-realization. Stay positive, change is just around the corner.

If you think about something for a long time, you can end up in the soup, as happened in the story with the rooster. Don't waste time, more action - less talk. And the Dog, for his good efforts, will help Gemini experience the taste of true bliss. And if love is long-term, no more five-minute crushes on public transport, under the auspices of the Dog only in the registry office.

Comic horoscope for 2018 for suspicious Cancers

Cancers were too mysterious and depressive, and the Dog came to change everything. Successes and new opportunities will fall into your claws themselves; all you have to do is grab them tightly and not let go. After all, the Yellow Dog doesn’t give everything for nothing, so it’s time for representatives of the sign to break stereotypes and change their life principles; after all, the 21st century is just around the corner.

According to the comic horoscope for 2018, the Dog has prepared a sweet surprise for persistent and obedient Cancers in relationships. Tired of loneliness? Be ready to meet that very person who will gracefully enter your life and share your interests. Don't claw, otherwise you'll scare everyone around you.

Comic horoscope for 2018 for Leo

No matter what Leos do, things don’t work out? And all because, according to the comic horoscope, in 2018 you should put aside your excessive pride, and then the Yellow Dog will reward the representatives of the sign with worthy fruits. Popularity, excessive attention and many fans will fall on Leo’s shoulders like snow. However, this is not new for Leos, because they are used to basking in the rays of glory.

With their chic and lush mane, Lions will conquer more than one lonely heart; the prey itself will fall into the clutches of the king of beasts. You just need to reconsider your relationships with your loved ones; they are unlikely to like your wild ardor and pride, and the Yellow Dog also does not like selfish people.

Comic horoscope for Virgo

In 2018, the comic horoscope recommends that Virgos discard their mask of an unfortunate victim, otherwise the Dog may simply pass you by. From January itself, take matters into your own hands and begin to work fruitfully both on yourself and on your well-being, because this month will decide the outcome of the entire next year. The Dog will reward diligent Virgos with all the blessings and boundless happiness.

But in love it is worth observing complete peace: there will be no end to the fans, the main thing is to choose worthy candidate for a future together.

Comic horoscope for Libra

In 2018, it’s time for representatives of the sign to forget about their own impulsiveness, but watch their speech. Inadvertently spoken words addressed to your superiors, work colleagues or loved ones can have a bad impact on your reputation, and the Dog will not be able to pull you out of the fog of reproaches.

The dog advises you to listen to what Libra is saying. Not always Nice words sound sincere, be careful. Communicate only with those who pull you forward, and not to the deep dark bottom. And stop weighing everything so carefully, otherwise you will be left with nothing, while your neighbor is already purchasing a new car.

Comic horoscope for Scorpios

The comic horoscope for 2018 for all signs promises Scorpios incredible wealth, love and good luck, if representatives of the sign stop stinging everyone. Energy will flow like a river, inspiring Scorpios to do new things and crazy things. These guys will get what they want career growth at any cost, even if you have to stick out your sting.

Carefully! Don't joke with Scorpios!

It’s time for representatives of the sign to melt their selfish hearts and show sensitivity, because without this, the Dog will not be able to help maintain harmony in their personal lives. Forget about narcissism, otherwise the patroness of the year may accidentally forget about you.

Comic horoscope for Sagittarius

What reward can Sagittarius expect in 2018? Of course, “Adviser of the Year”, because the wisdom of these guys is simply off the charts. They are ready to help anyone, for this the Dog certainly will not remain indifferent to the representatives of the sign. However, while helping others, you should not forget about yourself. Other people's problems are someone else's, but it's time to worry about your own too.

Success in the financial sector is inevitable, you can safely change jobs and throw banknotes left and right - but be careful. Parties, unbridled fun and a lot of entertainment await Sagittarius, but don’t forget about sleep: with bags under your eyes, you may not notice the love of your life walking somewhere nearby.

Comic horoscope for Capricorns

In 2018, point your horns towards your goals: great success is close and any obstacles can be jumped over.

Forget about melancholy and boredom, the Dog has something to please the representatives of the sign - this is success both in finances and in personal life.

Cupid is already aiming straight at your heart and will shoot at it in 2018. Capricorns will drown in an ocean of love and attention, what else is needed for happiness? These guys know how to love and deserve love forever. Even if not, don’t be upset, any relationship is also an experience.

Comic horoscope for Aquarius

Who knows, these guys know how to spill water. And in 2018 they will be ready to pour out a stream of their endless ideas and creative impulses to the broad masses, and all thanks to the Dog with her inspiration for the representatives of the sign. It is better to take action and direct the stream of water in the right direction, then the result will be appropriate.

The eastern patroness also prepares surprises for Aquarius in their personal lives. A waterfall of love and passion will completely cover the representatives of the water element, just don’t forget to breathe so as not to lose your mind. And stop being so jealous, it's time to learn to trust your soulmate.

Comic horoscope for Pisces

2018 is the most favorable year for Pisces, in order to finally leave their usual aquarium and move to other water spaces. After all, as long as you can sit in one place, swim around and around, boldly swim forward and swim faster to your goals, and the Yellow Dog only accompanies these actions.

All the sea treasures will be yours as soon as you decide to go out into the world and conquer others. But for single Pisces, the coming year 2018 is simply ideal for dizzying novels, perhaps long-term ones. Be prepared, Cupid won't miss.

Comic horoscope for 2018 for schoolchildren and children

The comic horoscope for children for 2018 has prepared something very special - homework, of course, not the same as school, but also important. All children of the zodiac signs should be more active both in school life and extracurricular activities. Then good grades will flow like a river, and there will be sweets not only on holidays.

Get creative and improve school processes, automatic cheat sheet scattering or a new cheating technique will also work. But at the same time, study, study, study - and praise will fall on your young shoulders, and then, look, gold medals are close. Be careful, otherwise you will have to wash the floor and wipe the dust in the classroom all year.

Comic horoscope in verse for 2018

Let's start with Aries for a comic horoscope in verse for 2018

These guys don't care

When do Taurus people know how to relax?

And only the best is selected.

And with Gemini you will never get bored,

They are always the soul of the company.

Cancers will spend a year without adversity,

They will devote time to love all the time.

And Leos with their beautiful words

Ready to conquer anyone.

Happiness will knock on the Virgos' house,

The dog will come rushing with good news.

Many wonderful hours await

In the year of the Dog of wise Libra.

It is better for Scorpios to hide their sting,

So as not to annoy Fortune.

And it’s time for Sagittarius to forget

About despondency and everyday life.

Note to Capricorns:

Don't swear incessantly.

Aquarius should act more boldly

Grab your lucky chance faster.

But Pisces will have to

Live a year without sorrows and grievances.

All people, no, no, yes, look into horoscopes to find out what his day, week and even year will be like. We invite you to take a different look at all horoscopes and have made a comic horoscope for all zodiac signs for any birthday. All guests will like such a comic horoscope, and they will remember both this day and all the wishes according to “their horoscope.”


Aries.
And Aries is harmonious and strong today,
A day filled with love awaits him.
And just, Aries, don’t be lazy,
And look around.
Suddenly there is just one waiting for you,
Love that you can’t take your eyes off!
Hurry, take the bull by the horns,
And happy, be Aries always!

Calf.
Taurus, today is a lucky day for you!
Praise awaits you!
Just make sure you don't get arrogant
And don't turn into a bull!
And don't kick your hoof,
Don't butt the red rag!
Better sit back and relax
And enjoy today!

Twins.
Be the twins on fire
Today brings joy.
Somewhere you'll be lucky in love,
Rubles will “arrive” somewhere.
Maybe you'll meet friends
In general, celebrate this day with more joy!

Cancer
Cancer, don't whistle today
And don’t miss your luck.
An important meeting awaits ahead,
Feel free to go to her quickly,
And not in front, but as usual, in back
And everything will be as it should be for you!

a lion
If Leo is not in the mood,
Many troubles await everyone around.
Today is not an easy day for Leo.
Leo will be dissatisfied with himself.
So, better than Leo you are not angry
And praise him quickly!

Virgo.
Virgo is calm, as always,
Great things await her today.
New achievements, discoveries,
And fun events!
So, gain strength, Virgo,
So that there are enough of them for this day!

Scales.
Balanced and strong
It will be Libra today.
After all, they have to resolve the dispute,
And to identify the winner from among the contenders.
But everyone already knows
That Libra is winning today!
And so it was, always is,
No one can ever defeat Libra!

Scorpion
Scorpios are having a hard day today.
Scorpio will be unhappy today.
It will sting everyone around,
Relatives and friends, girlfriends.
Don't stand next to him today
Otherwise it will sting with its poison.
It's better to be alone
He will calm down and go out into the public.

Sagittarius
Sagittarius, be careful today
Today, incidents with you are possible.
Always watch your step
Look around sometimes.
Watch people carefully
Don't they laugh behind your back?
Do not take piercing or cutting objects into your hands,
And you don't joke with electricity.
And when the day comes to an end,
An unexpected surprise awaits Sagittarius.
When you shy away from everyone enough.
Paranoia will come to you.

Capricorn
Capricorns,
Take care of your feet today.
They may accidentally be crushed on you,
Or accidentally get caught in the door.
You might get stepped on your foot while dancing.
And don't even ask for forgiveness.
Just don’t go into swearing,
And trust from the heart!
Let the enemies of Capricorns know
What can they kick in retaliation?

Aquarius.
Aquarius,
“Don’t pour water” today!
Silence is golden, you should know
And it’s better for you to remain silent today.

Fish
Pisces is having a hard day today.
They are overcome by laziness today.
They don't want to do anything
And Pisces got tired of everything.
But better for Pisces don't be lazy
And they need to hurry up to get off the couch.
Otherwise luck will float by,
And someone else will find it!

At what point should this horoscope be presented to guests? They will give you the answer

Diversify family celebration and corporate events will be helped by horoscopes drawn up in a humorous way. With such entertainment you can give a good mood to everyone present and make a “good forecast” for the coming year.

It so happened that modern man very superstitious. In pursuit of a good life, prosperity, respected position and family happiness, he often relies on the “will of the stars” and magic. And that's not bad at all!

Psychologically setting yourself up for good changes c, it is quite possible to achieve victories in everyday life! The main thing is to believe and make efforts. A comic horoscope, unlike a regular one, is drawn up in a humorous form.

Such astrological forecast may be in prose or written in verse. Poems, by the way, are more easily and positively perceived by people at an event, at any feast and at any holiday.

Feature of the humorous - gently hint about the shortcomings of a certain zodiac sign and “generously predict” good changes in the coming or coming year. Such “instruction” will definitely make every guest present smile and leave him with pleasant memories.

IMPORTANT: A comic horoscope, as a rule, is compiled on the basis of a real one, created by astrologers. But it is written more in clear language, in simple words and added with wishes.

Comic horoscope in verse and prose for Aries men and women for 2019-2020

For men:

As they say, Aries is “still a ram.” And there is a share in this undeniable truth! Next year, Aries will be faced with a number of unpredictable situations that could confuse the “curly” ones. Be careful, don’t lean your horns into difficulties and try to overcome them! Being too stubborn is unlikely to help you achieve your desired goals. In the year of the Rat, Aries should relax a little and let the situation go, as they say, “with the flow.” This will allow you not only to relax, but to organize any business in such a way that it ends to your benefit!

For women:

If the Aries man is a “ram”, then the woman is a “baroness”. And this is not just a play on words! In the new year 2020, sheep women will be especially attractive and irresistible. Many of them will gain " woman's happiness", thanks to the tenacity and fury with which they will strive to achieve what they want. In addition, if you are an Aries woman and have any acting skills, the horoscope wants you to pretend to be stupid from time to time for the same good purposes!

In verse:

Aries is a sign of “stubbornness” and arrogance,
Every little thing pisses them off!
To make life “sweet”
Drink without reserve on this holiday!

Aries need a lot of space
So that the house is not crowded,
On the robot, in the garage
And of course in the shower!

Aries celebrates the New Year
With an open soul:
Let the “barn” be full,
There are oats and grass in the bins!

Horoscope wishes for Aries
Be calmer and more gentle
So that the soul is calm,
Life would be more fun!

Happy New Year for Aries
He will definitely come to the house,
A new broom of bad weather
It will sweep it up and carry it away!



Comic New Year's horoscope 2020 for Aries women and men: poems

Comic horoscope in verse and prose for Taurus men and women for 2019-2020

For men:

In the new year, Taurus, like stubborn Aries, should“relax and slow down” a little. It is excessive tension and the desire to help everyone, everywhere and always, that destroys restless “bulls” and “chicks”, preventing them from getting the desired maximum from life. In the year of the Rat, Taurus will be especially vulnerable to difficulties and problems arising both on the love and professional fronts. In order for any outcome of the case to be positive and kind, do not hesitate to ask for help from loved ones. At the moment when life “shows a red rag” to Taurus, one should not accelerate and run to bright color, but close your eyes tightly and just let “things take their course.” And without you, Taurus, others will figure it out just fine!

For women:

Taurus women need to be in the new year be especially careful with the words spoken and expressed emotions. The fact is that the year of the Rat will allow the ladies of this Zodiac to be, so to speak, excited and not very mentally balanced. To avoid problems in relationships and at work, you need to “keep in check” your attacks of jealousy, rage and the desire to help everyone!

In verse:

Calm and peace to Taurus
I wish you a good horoscope,
So that life is easy and beautiful,
The problems “didn’t lead to death.”

More Taurus this year
The horoscope wishes you well,
So that there is a Porsche under the window,
So that there is a lump of dough under the mattress!

To Taurus on this New Year
Love and inspiration will come,
Fate will bring good luck,
Calm, peace!

Taurus is strong and powerful,
And into the new year our horoscope
Wishes only a better life,
May you be incredibly lucky!

In the New Year's horoscope
And Taurus has a prediction:
Those who are single and free,
They will find recognition in love!


Comic horoscope in verse and prose for Gemini men and women for 2019-2020

For men:

Gemini is a special sign. Gathered in this sign put together several best qualities person: curiosity, prudence, wisdom, thirst for knowledge and development. Along with this, in the new year 2020 they should protect themselves from talkativeness, boasting and boringness. The horoscope advises Gemini to read, write, think more, but not speak out loud, otherwise the sign risks losing a number of important people in life. If you can’t talk about a new event, talk to the mirror or write!

For women:

There will be no Gemini for women in 2020 some special emotional outbursts, changes and fateful events. The Year of the Rat promises to be “fun” and full of pleasant little things: a new fur coat, a ring, a meeting with an old friend, who has also gained a lot over the past few years. Just live, as they say, “for yourself” and please your loved ones. Avoid gossip, and “bite your tongue” yourself if you want to retell the news you heard!

In verse:

Gemini, you are nonsense,
Refrain from sin!
Be quieter and wiser
To make life kinder!

The horoscope wishes you
Good-natured Geminis,
Eat a lot, listen more,
Don't talk about trifles!

New Year for Gemini:
Dear ladies and men,
Promises to be good.
Clap your hands loudly!

So that there is a lot of happiness,
Gemini is dear in the year
This one will be without barriers,
No problems, adversities, losses!

May Gemini this year
Having fun and frolicking.
May fate bring them
Lots of joy and happiness!


Comic horoscope in verse and prose for Cancer men and women for the new year 2019-2020

For men:

For Cancer men, the Year of the Rat promises small, but very pleasant changes in life. Firstly, this is wealth, it will “flow into your hands” slowly but very confidently. Secondly, you risk meeting “your soulmate” in this world, if you haven’t already. “Crawl out of your shell” more often, don’t be afraid to communicate with people, don’t close yourself off from your loved ones, and 2020 will be a very interesting year!

For women:

Cancer women will finally have a chance in 2020 feel needed, important, loved. The main thing is not to lose calm, self-confidence and harmony between soul and body. Speaking about the body, it is worth noting that in the year of the Rat, Cancers will experience incredible emotional uplift and any illness, as well as depression, will not “catch on” and ruin your mood.

In verse:

Cancers, you're in luck!
This year is a happy one for you!
The horoscope wishes you,
To be desired and beautiful!

In this year, Cancers need to know in general:
Wealth is not hidden in chests or money.
Wealth hides in the soul, in family, in friends,
They will help in right time and they won’t let you go to waste!

Cancers will have incredible luck in 2020!
They will find peace, wealth and love.
They will meet happiness along the way many times!
There will be plenty of joy, food and wine!

Cancers can have fun
Sing loudly, joke, dance.
Happiness rushes towards them in the New Year,
To hug everyone!

Happy holiday, Cancer!
The New Year promises you everything:
Lots of happiness and reasons to cry
Only from joy and trifles!


Comic horoscope in verse and prose for Leo men and women for the new year 2019-2020

For men:

Male lions inspire fear by their very appearance and respect for all other zodiac signs. They have the same attitude towards life: they let someone close, they “sharpen their claws” about others. The New Year 2020 for Leo will be very successful and lucky. The Year of the Rat will completely obey Leo and bring him many pleasant emotions!

For women:

Women-Lionesses, like men, will have luck in literally everything in 2020: they will rise “ career ladder”, will meet a worthy man, gain health and be incredibly attractive. The Year of the Rat will bring “fatal pussies” a lot of profit, both in terms of “prey” and a new fur coat, boots, beads and earrings!

In verse:

2020 will be an easy year
It will be bright and happy!
He will bring health to the lions,
Inspiration and strength!

Leos will be pleasantly surprised
A successful year is coming for them!
In it they will “get drunk with happiness”
“Luck will come to their house.”

Fate promises all Leos and Lionesses
Good luck getting drunk this year
“Catch a star”, have luck,
And all victories without exception!

To lions, as rulers of the world,
The year wishes to be happy!
So that the house is full,
So that there is peace in your soul!

Horoscope wishes for Lionesses
To be real queens
And Leos have great wealth,
May life be simple and “smooth”!



Predictions for Leo

Comic horoscope in verse and prose for Virgo men and women for the new year 2019-2020

For men:

As you know, Virgo men are real “narcissists”. That is why in 2020, the horoscope predicts many difficulties for them, primarily with the fact that they are not able to “understand and love their neighbor.” The Year of the Rat promises to be not easy, and in order to achieve the desired results, Virgo will have to, as they say, “press on the gas” and make every effort.

For women:

Virgo women will feel like real queens in 2020! Of course, all the grace will not just fall on them from the sky and in order to please themselves excellent results Whether professional or personal, it takes hard work and self-belief. Virgos should also begin to limit themselves in everything in 2019-2020: candy, gentlemen, spoken words. This will help you gain respect and recognition from others.

In verse:

Horoscope wishes for Virgos
Big and small victories!
Enter the New Year with confidence,
He will protect you from harm!

Seductive virgin beauties
The New Year will bring only joy!
Let life be the way you like it,
It will turn into sweetness for you!

To the wise and beautiful Virgos
New Year wishes boldly
Be successful in everything
And there was no reason for the troubles!

Virgos - zodiac sign,
New Year wishes you happiness!
So that goodness surrounds,
So that love does not disappear!

Smile wider, Virgos,
You are the happiest in the world!
There is no more beautiful person in this world
And throughout our entire planet!


Comic horoscope in verse and prose for Libra men and women for 2019-2020

For men:

In the new year 2020, Gemini men should devote time not only for self-development, but also for your appearance. Therefore, do not hesitate to get a membership to the gym, spa area or sauna. Being beautiful is not a sin! In addition, try to always be closer to your family, do not hesitate to be boring and intrusive, just show your interest in what is happening.

For women:

In the year of the Rat, women of the Libra sign will “fly in the clouds.” That is why they will often not be on time always and everywhere. In order for your affairs to go well and end with the desired outcome, you should stock up on perseverance and constantly “slap yourself on the cheeks” in order to return to reality. In the New Year, be sure to devote a lot of time to your beauty and health, and take care of your loved ones.

In verse:

Smile, all men,
If there is a Libra nearby.
These women are beautiful
Dream come true!

New Year will give Libra
There are many reasons to be happy.
He will leave it under the Christmas tree
Gifts, kisses and hugs!

Huge adventures for Libra
Will add a new year to life,
So that there are no disappointments,
He will bring you good luck!

The stars have now decided:
In the new fabulous year
Libra will receive strength as a gift,
Warmth, love, family comfort!

Libra has big changes
The likelihood of them is so high
All the best will happen without a doubt
Life will be bright and easy!


Comic horoscope in verse and prose for Scorpio men and women for 2019-2020

For men:

Scorpio men will have to really try keep your thoughts and emotions in harmony with your body. This “poisonous” zodiac sign will be especially vulnerable and excited in 2019-2020. That is why you should refrain from scandals, quarrels and divorces. On the other hand, the year is very successful for making money, and therefore it is best to direct your energy to improving your financial condition.

For women:

Like men, Scorpio women in 2019-2020 They will be real “hysterics”. Ladies should very skillfully hide their real emotions and feelings so as not to spoil their relationships with everyone around them. The year promises many romantic and love encounters, which in turn does not interfere with Scorpio’s existing marriage.

In verse:

Scorpios are good:
Lots of money and soul!
The horoscope tells the sign
Just cry with happiness!

In the year 2020 to all Scorpios,
A lot of changes are coming:
In work, relationships and at home.
Try to avoid problems!

Scorpios urgently need
Lots of exciting changes.
Horoscope wishes friendship
Solve your problems!

For life to be successful,
Scorpios, try your best.
Horoscope wishes: tenderly
Smile at problems!

2020 is knocking on your door,
His time has now come.
Now good things will happen
Happy New Year with Scorpio!


Comic horoscope in verse and prose for Sagittarius men and women for 2019-2020

For men:

Sagittarius men “risk” being lucky in the new year and happy, they have every chance for this. The main thing is not to lose your luck on the way to happiness. In the professional and personal spheres, everything will be very smooth and quite “even” - without losses and disappointments. Smile more at the world around you and everything will be fine!

For women:

Sagittarius women should definitely“catch luck by the tail”, and then hide it in yourself and not let it go. If ladies make an effort in the year of the Rat, they will definitely gain recognition, find true love and climb the career ladder high, high.

In verse:

“Let Sagittarius live well” -
Astrological forecast advises.
Let them rest body and soul,
Let them not shed hot tears in vain!

Heaven wishes for a Sagittarius man
Be a true champion of the ladies.
Let life not hit you in the face with a glove,
Give way to dreams and deeds!

Let Sagittarius' dreams come true,
Let your wishes come true!
Astrologers wish Sagittarius beauty,
Good luck, joy, love charm!

Sagittarians are the favorites of luck,
Let it be this way and not otherwise!
And the New Year will give into winter
To them happiness and happy love!

The stars predicted joy
A gift for all Sagittarius.
Life will be like sweetness for them,
Every day is cheerful and bright!


Comic horoscope in verse and prose for Capricorn men and women for 2019-2020

For men:

In the new year, Capricorn men should finally understand what they want in their life: love, family or a big career leap. Unfortunately, you won’t be able to get everything at once, and therefore all your strength should be directed in only one direction. The year is good for searching for yourself, muse and space. However, if you fly too far, you risk losing touch with reality, that is, ruining your relationships with others.

For women:

Capricorn women will become real muses for their men, admirers and admirers. The year promises ladies to be filled with beauty, harmony and purity. Each representative of this zodiac sign “risks” falling in love completely by accident and very deeply. IN financially, Capricorns will be very vulnerable and wasteful.

In verse:

In the year 2020 Capricorns
The stars wish to be themselves,
Along your life paths
Walk with a happy destiny!

Lucky all Capricorns
Good comes to their house
Happy New Year,
There will be no trouble!

Luck and prosperity is knocking,
To the homes of all Capricorns in the New Year.
Let a good fairy tale happen
Dreams will not be a sweet dream!

Astrologers wish you harmony,
Find strength and love within yourself.
The year for Capricorns promises to be calm,
And the feelings will excite the blood!

Capricorns are incredibly lucky
The year will be pleasant and happy.
Men's pockets will be full,
Well, the women will turn out to be beautiful!


Comic horoscope in verse and prose for Aquarius men and women for 2019-2020

For men:

The New Year will be very calm for Aquarius men and measured. Practically, not a single event can disturb the peace of mind of men and prevent them from achieving their desired goals. In the personal life of Aquarius, there is an abundance of romantic meetings, tender feelings and only pleasant changes.

For women:

Women of this zodiac sign are quite frivolous., but at the same time romantic and dreamy. The Year of the Rat promises them abundance love adventures and only positive changes. But, at the same time, you should not “drown in the abyss of your dreams,” so as not to lose touch with reality.

In verse:

Aquarians will feel
Have fun, wait and believe,
What in their life is like in a fairy tale
Happiness will knock on the door!

For Aquarius, New Year is a favorite holiday,
He gives them the warmth of loved ones.
Astrologers promise you only joy,
Luck - it will just walk through your door!

Astrological predictions
They wish Aquarius to be wiser,
Make decisions with a smile in your heart,
May your dreams come true as soon as possible!

Horoscope wishes for Aquarius
A lot of bright, love joys,
So that the love in the soul does not fade away,
And my soul was as light as snow!


Comic horoscope in verse and prose for Pisces men and women for 2019-2020

For men:

Pisces men will “swim calmly” all year round with the flow” and float past problems, failures and disappointments. This year strong half of humanity will definitely meet “their fish” and find family happiness. In the year of the Rat, don’t expect any strong “career ups”, but this is far from bad.

For women:

The main thing for Pisces women in the year of the Rat is not to look stupid and do not create too negative an impression of yourself. Be active and cheerful, laugh in the face of failures and problems. In your personal life, the year promises positive changes, for example, a new lover or a marriage proposal!

In verse:

Let Pisces sail to their luck
Happy new colorful year!
Let complex problems be solved,
And life will not throw Pisces into the frying pan!

Pisces are very silent
Pisces love silence.
Wishes for the New Year to Pisces
Horoscope “to catch your dream”!

So that Pisces have fun and joy,
Astrologers foretell them:
Relax, eat sweets,
The stars foretell love for you!


Video: “Comic Horoscope for 2020 for friends”

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