Why you shouldn't be mean. Laws of meanness

Appearing after betrayal. How to survive this unpleasant period in life? What is meanness? How to fight the desire to take revenge on the offender? The science of the soul and human relationships helps to understand this.

Is meanness a manifestation of a strong character or one’s own weakness?

No person is born a scoundrel; he becomes one due to many factors: moral education, the influence of people around him, as well as encounters with betrayal. Being offended, betrayed by someone close circle, he himself becomes a scoundrel and a traitor.

What is meanness? This is, to a greater extent, a manifestation of the lack of certain moral standards. In the understanding of a scoundrel, actions that bring pain and negative emotions to others are something acceptable and commonplace. However, when convicted of betrayal, frame-up, or other negative behavior, such people usually deny everything. Therefore, meanness in psychology is akin to schizophrenia - like sick people, scoundrels do not accept normal, healthy interaction with society.

Most scoundrels - weak people who use meanness as a defense and a tool to help them assert themselves at the expense of the suffering of other members of society. They betray without feeling any remorse; they extract from a person everything they need to achieve their goals and satisfy their own needs.

Decoding the concept

What is meanness? The definition of the concept in psychology and sociology looks like this: it is a destructive effect on the common interests and goals of people, aimed at harming a specific person. In addition to preferences and goals, the victim and the scoundrel may have in common tools, family, home, work, values ​​and much more. Language is also common, and words and phrases uttered to humiliate another’s dignity are considered meanness.

Who is most at risk?

Exposure is especially dangerous for people with low self-esteem and frequent bouts of depression. This is due to the fact that they are most prone to negative consequences betrayal and meanness, such as suicide.

These concepts have precise definition- these are the actions of one person aimed at humiliating feelings self-esteem another. Meanness is when betrayal can be an accidental, one-time action, which the traitor himself will later regret.

Potential traitors

People whom we are accustomed to trust - lovers, relatives, colleagues and friends - can “stab a knife in the back” at the most unpredictable moment. Often this situation arises due to fleeting desires or an emotional impulse. Many people try to regain their former trust after committing an act, but this is not so easy. According to statistics, although most victims forgive their offenders, they still continue to hold a grudge deep down in their hearts.

What is meanness? This is, first of all, an act that destroys harmonious relationships, destroys something in common, something that unites the victim and the scoundrel. Anyone can commit this negative action; it is enough to know certain painful points of a person and his preferences. Situations from life help to understand in more detail what meanness is.

• One of the partners sets up his partner, pursuing selfish goals - taking his position. He knows where the victim keeps important papers and what route he takes to get to work. The scoundrel does everything to prevent him from getting to the office by a certain time, and passes off his work as his own. As a result, a person loses good position, loses heart and considers himself insignificant.
• After 10 years of marriage, the man began to lose interest in his wife. Gradually, his attention completely switched to another woman - a colleague (secretary, old acquaintance). And at one moment, succumbing to temptation, he commits an act of treason. His wife finds out about this from the lips of her rival, and everything in her life turns upside down. Trust in the man she still loves disappears, and she begins to suffer and suffer.

What not to do if you become a victim of a vile act

If you have been negatively impacted, you should not make hasty decisions. Besides this, you don't need:

1. Build a plan for revenge. Revenge is no less destructive for inner world person than the consequences of betrayal.
2. Throw a tantrum. Excessive emotionality takes away a large number of strength, and recovery takes longer.
3. Trying to figure out the relationship with the offender. In a fit of anger, he cannot objectively assess the situation, which only aggravates his situation.

What is meanness? This is the direct impact of the offender on the victim. Trust placed in the wrong person, communication with him - all this weakens the victim’s vigilance. Don’t be naive, hoping that the scoundrel will change and this won’t happen again. Having committed an unpleasant act once and benefited from it, he will not miss the opportunity to take advantage of your trust again.

How to properly deal with resentment, anger and the desire for revenge? Advice from psychologists

Experts agree on one thing: if you have become a victim of betrayal or a vile act, then the first thing you need to do is calm down. What happened in your life is not necessarily a deliberate betrayal. It could just be a mistake by the person who loves you.

Calmness and composure will help you overcome the crisis after a vile act. To fully understand the problem, you need to:

• Reconsider the situation in which you and your abuser find themselves. You need to be 100% sure that he is really a cruel scoundrel, and not a narrow-minded person. A cruel person intentionally hurts people and gets pleasure from it, while a narrow-minded person could simply make a mistake and go astray from the right path.
• Try to forgive. Yes, it is to forgive the offender, and not to bear a grudge. The resentment hidden in the depths of the soul carries only negativity, and it seems that the weightless soul is heavier than a pile of stones.
• Know how to switch, change “minus” to “plus”. This effective method, helping to quickly recover from betrayal. No matter how powerful a negative blow may be, you need to know that both pain and mental suffering are internal problem, and not external, and over time everything will pass. Think about the essentials. For example, will you suffer so much if your wife (husband) leaves you, and after a couple of days you find out that you have become the owner of a substantial inheritance. So what will take your full attention?

Meanness is not easy negative impact, used by one person. Today, meanness has become a thing for many, so be careful when communicating with new acquaintances.

Almost every person in life has the feeling that they were treated basely - not according to the rules, not according to justice, not according to expectations. Deceived, betrayed, framed, circumvented - the most fantastic ethical squiggles are possible. The simplest explanation is because people are bad and evil by nature. This explanation can sometimes be comforting, but at other times it can be emotionally traumatizing and promote depression. You might think that some people are bad
. This can also be comforting, but an alarming question may arise: why do I come across them?

I want to offer not the most comforting ideas on this matter. More precisely, they do not necessarily console immediately, with just one thought. But over time, they can provide the basis for a more flexible understanding of what happened.

People behave meanly because it is not mean for them. There may be several options:

- The effect of "False Consent". We often overestimate the typicality and universality of our ideas about life. We can believe that our opinion is the only correct one, and all people adhere to it. And if someone does not adhere, then this is a deviation. Whereas for another person, this deviation may be his idea of ​​​​moral standards - about what is vile and what is not. This kind of thing, no matter how offensive it may be, happens.

- The “Doer-Observer” effect. A person who commits an act most often explains his actions by the influence of circumstances. And witnesses to this act most often explain his actions by his personal qualities. And what from the outside may look like meanness, from the inside can be perceived as survival in difficult circumstances.

Choice of priorities and competition of motives. People can violate someone's moral standards in this way, because at this moment it is not a priority for them to comply with them. The priority may be other tasks - for example, getting out of the situation with minimal damage to yourself or surviving. Or keep a face. Or do it faster. Or benefit. A person may have a struggle between several motives - selfish or altruistic, socially desirable or undesirable, personal or professional.

Self-centeredness. Often, assessing another person’s action as vile, we automatically believe that our interests are his interests. By acting in accordance with his own interests, which are different from ours, he seems to be betraying you. And it may seem that this action is directed specifically at you. But it may be that we have identified our interests with his. Whereas the other person acted based on his own interests, which were not necessarily related to you. Or, he could understand your interests in his own way and think that he is doing you good.

People behave meanly, despite the fact that for themselves it is mean, but they have reasons for this:

There are many different systems values ​​and norms that influence a person at different points in time. Each person is simultaneously a member of several different communities, each of which has its own norms. And many people are not always able to combine these requirements - sometimes they have to violate the norms of one community in favor of the norms of another. The most basic everyday example is a husband who drinks after work. He violated the norms of his family community - his wife, mother-in-law and mother, for example. But he followed the norms of the community of male colleagues.

In a person in difficult situation There is no available “Non-mean” way to react, and the method that he learned a long time ago works. After all, in the social experience of each person there are many models of behavior. This is what we acquired in childhood, at school, at old jobs, in various campaigns. These experiences do not always correspond to official or relevant norms for the individual. They are often subcultural in nature and correspond to unofficial norms. Dvorov, for example.

- Conformity effect. As socio-psychological experiments show, most people can be subject to the influence of others, contrary to their principles and morals. Under pressure from random company, a person may not behave very well. Later he may greatly regret it and be tormented by his conscience, but at that moment the influence of the group turned out to be stronger.

- The effect of self-justification. There is a concept that people need to hold positive images of themselves - for example, as a decent, intelligent person. To maintain this self-image, sometimes people have to justify their actions by adjusting their ideas of good and bad. Like, I couldn’t do anything bad or stupid, which means what I did was not bad.

I do not pretend to provide an exhaustive explanation of the reasons for various controversial actions - rather, I listed the effects that are known to me, both from experience and from study. I would be glad to add any additional information from your experience. But about how to survive a situation when you were treated basely according to your feelings - to be continued. Danila Gulyaev.

You're faking it. FALSE is the meaning, definition of the word

To lie, to lie for a long time, to lie, to lie, and why. One lies, the other cheats. Don’t sneak under the arm, knock someone down, enter into a power of attorney by lying | under whom, to report falsely, to slander, to slander maliciously. Sneaking, sneaking, action. according to verb. Sneaky, liar, liar, esp. assenting to another liar, comrade. Undercover paper, signed...

People are vile

MEAN PEOPLE - in Russia in the 18th century. derogatory name for the lower strata of the urban population ... Big Encyclopedic Dictionary


VILE PEOPLE - “VILE PEOPLE”, in Russia in the 18th century. derogatory name for the lower strata of the urban population ... Encyclopedic Dictionary

“VILE PEOPLE” is a term used in certain legislation. acts in Russia in the 18th century. in relation to the tax-exempt classes. Thus, Regulation Ch. magistrate (1721) called P. l. lower layers of mountains. population, found in hire and menial work, i.e. irregular... ... Soviet historical encyclopedia

“Vile people” - in Russia in the 18th century. derogatory name for the lower strata of the urban population ... Encyclopedic Dictionary

VILE PEOPLE - in Russia in the 18th century. non-taxable estates... Russian statehood in terms. 9th – early 20th century

Vile - The word vile in modern Russian has only an evaluative ethical meaning. It contains a negative assessment of the moral properties of something: dishonest, low, despicable; e.g., vile deed, vile character, vile soul and ... History of words

No person is born a scoundrel; he becomes one due to many factors: moral education, the influence of people around him, as well as encounters with betrayal. Being offended or betrayed by someone from his inner circle, he himself becomes a scoundrel and a traitor.

What is meanness? This is, to a greater extent, a manifestation of weakness by a person, the absence of certain moral standards. In the understanding of a scoundrel, actions that bring pain and negative emotions to others are something acceptable and commonplace. However, when caught in a betrayal, frame-up or other negative act, such people usually deny everything. Therefore, meanness in psychology is akin to schizophrenia - like sick people, scoundrels do not accept normal, healthy interaction with society.

Most scoundrels are weak people who use meanness as a defense and a tool to help them assert themselves at the expense of the suffering of other members of society. They betray without feeling any remorse; they extract from a person everything they need to achieve their goals and satisfy their own needs.

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What does Sneaky mean? Today, when capitalism has flourished, only money has become important for a person. Most people believe that it is necessary to take everything from life, and as quickly as possible, without regard to anyone’s interests and desires. Such a person began to deservedly be called Vile, what this word means, you can read a little below. Don’t forget to add the site fashionable-slova.rf to your bookmarks so that you can easily decipher the most popular words.
However, before continuing, I would like to tell you about a few more popular articles on random topics. For example, what does OuKB mean, how to understand the abbreviation OuKS, who is called the Sole Proprietor, what is Nonconformity, etc.
So let's move on, what does Sneaky mean? This term comes from Old Russian, which was previously borrowed from Polish language"rodłu". Originally used in the meaning of “common people”, “socially low”.
Vile - this is what they call a person who is morally low

Synonym of the word Vile: brute, scoundrel, scoundrel, radish, scoundrel.

Mean people. Verse: About meanness

About meanness
Conscience, nobility
and dignity -
Here it is, our sacred
army.
Give him your hand
Don't worry about him
and into the fire!
Bulat Okudzhava

I got a friend the other day
asked a question
How do I feel about life?
to meanness and malice.
Not simple. Thought about it
seriously,
Like the hour of my answer
struck during confession.
Say it's meanness
I do not like -
Doesn't mean anything.
I can't stand people like that
and, moreover,
I'm trying to be mean
envy, evil
Nip it at the roots
initial,
So that pain to people
didn't carry
Didn't burn my heart
sadness...

I think such entities
That they spray evil like poison,
You can't call them people,
The word "bastards" is appropriate.
They live only for this
And immensely happy
When they do evil on the quiet,
Some people are getting on their nerves.
They slander vilely behind your back,
Gossip spreads like mucus,
Gloatingly waiting for such a moment,
To inject the last poison.
From those who, in spite of anger,
Strong with love and kindness,
Who won't give his hand to a scoundrel?
Disgustingly he will close the entrance to the house,
Who speaks eye to eye,
Who is sacredly faithful to friendship -
For vile souls they are a thunderstorm,
They will run cowardly into the crack,
not at the door...

I know the truth is simple -
Everything boomerangs
in our life,
Fate and the weight of her cross
Commensurate with your strengths.

Statuses about meanness

This behavior should be avoided whenever possible, but some people simply cannot avoid the temptation to do something like this because that is how they are wired. Statuses about meanness show how bad this quality is and what problems it can bring. Smart statuses make it possible to understand how it is desirable to act in certain situations, as well as a little shame on those people who are inclined to behave inappropriately. Excellent statuses, a selection of which are presented below, make it possible to realize the real essence this concept.

Only a woman can tolerate constant manifestations of meanness from a man and cannot say “No” to him.

Law of meanness of childhood number 1: the guests have just started playing interesting game, as the parents were already getting ready to go home.

Sometimes you meet people who can do mean things in such a way that everything will reveal them to be once decent people.

Apparently I’m growing up, because from the same category, for example: “How could you cause such a dirty trick?” I move on to another: “What kind of meanness did he do to me?”

Best status:
According to the law of meanness, your most beloved and dearest person lives in another city hundreds of kilometers away from you. I hope this is how love is tested.

If you know that you can do something big, why waste yourself on small dirty tricks?

Any meanness is easy to understand and justify, but it would be very stupid to forgive it...

According to the law of meanness, if you have a boyfriend, then a couple more people are running after you. All you have to do is break up, and no one needs you.

As soon as you eat some onions, a handsome guy immediately invites you for a walk.

Video Alex Shevchenko - Vile people in our lives

Aphorisms and quotes about meanness

The world is full of decent people. You can recognize them by how clumsily they do mean things.
Charles Peguy

If a person acts like a swine, he says: “For mercy, I’m just a man!” And if they treat him like a swine, he exclaims: “Excuse me, I’m also a human being!”
Karl Kraus

Alexander Vampilov

If you want to offend a less than educated person, do not call him a scoundrel; better say that he is poorly brought up.
Samuel Johnson

“I’m a small person!” - he said and hit below the belt.
E. Westin

The man who bites the hand that feeds him usually licks the boot that kicks him.
Eric Hoffer

He who is incapable of anything is capable of everything.

Major villainies are made out of hatred, small ones - out of fear.
Charles Montesquieu

They are especially ashamed of meanness if they failed to complete it.
Alexander Furstenberg

The world will be treated by our meanness.
Arkady Davidovich

Meanness in war is cunning, and cunning in peace is meanness.
Gennady Matyushov

When doing meanness, do not refer to time. Remember that time can take its toll on you.

The world is coming. And our old-fashioned meanness can't stand the competition.
Arkady Davidovich

The wisdom of the cunning is meanness.
Mikhail Libman

Everything decent is rash, everything thoughtful is meanness.
Alexander Vampilov

Meanness is a shorter path to positions that are usually given as a reward for valor.
Tacitus

Don't look for scoundrels. Good people commit mean things.
A. Vampilov

A scoundrel, and sometimes a fool, more often succeeds in society than a decent and intelligent person: it is easier for scoundrels and fools to adapt to the tone and habits of high society, where, as a rule, only meanness and stupidity reign, while decent and sensible people do not immediately find with them mutual language, and therefore waste precious time and are left with nothing.
N. Chamfort

Scoundrels are the strictest judges.
M. Gorky

Scoundrels are successful in their affairs because they treat honest people as if they were scoundrels, and honest people treat scoundrels as if they were honest people.
V. Belinsky

Probably each of us has experienced the meanness of other people towards ourselves at least once in our lives. What are the origins of meanness? Let's break it down into components. On the surface lies the generally accepted opinion that lack of self-confidence, complexes, frailty, the “ugly duckling” syndrome, insignificance of the individual, coupled with a deformed upbringing, self-esteem and bad character, are the causes of meanness to others. After all, inner confidence does not need external evidence. All the most vile and vile things come precisely from insecure people who go over their heads; they do nasty things behind their backs, anonymously and secretly, fearing direct confrontation; self-realization at the expense of others; always embittered by the world and arrogant. Another reason for meanness is envy and a feeling of annoyance at the success of others, significant people. An insignificant person will carry out dirty tricks and abominations behind his back, underestimating those to whom he commits these abominations in order to accurately declassify the attacker. And the roots of meanness must be sought in childhood, where the future scoundrel feels a craving for actions on the sly, while no one sees, and his naive comrades do not know how to do this. A “sneaky” child learns this behavior, and it, taking root in the subconscious, becomes the norm of behavior, gradually developing into such a clearly manifested personality quality as meanness. In adult life the surreptitiously insignificant person gets a sadistic orgasm in the desire to benefit from his own insignificance.
Meanness and its origins are most fully described in the article by P.D. Kovalev. Online

If the one he cheated begins to be indignant and talk about meanness and betrayal, the scoundrel will talk about the freedom that is supposedly being taken away from him. The scoundrel greatly values ​​“freedom,” which in fact is for him the right not to be responsible for anything and to step over everything.

It's impossible to negotiate with scoundrels, and just talk. You can't ask them anything. They cannot be returned to the agreements they made with you, looking into your eyes with their pure eyes. They take everything they need from you and then throw you away as if nothing happened between you. While you writhe in the pain of their betrayal, they dance on your bones, calling you crazy.

It’s better not to have anything to do with a vile person and not to let them close to your soul. If you let them, they will eat them up, spit them out, and go looking for another fool who will again be enchanted by them and put his soul into them. Scoundrels are always amazingly charming. With an equally startling discrepancy inside. If you see a scoundrel in his true form, you will not recognize his face. It will be a different person.

The scoundrel sees the scoundrel from afar. Without fail, he distinguishes his own. And only with the same scoundrel can he take off his mask. If he needs to relieve his soul, he will look for the same scoundrel and talk to him to his heart's content.

The scoundrel justifies the fact that he does not show his disguise. For example, because you are inadequate, you will begin to swear and call him to account. But that doesn’t stop him from taking what he needs from you.

The scoundrels definitely need to ruin that place and those people whom they just sucked and betrayed. As long as these people are guilty, they don’t have to look inside themselves, and they can sleep peacefully. That is why, when leaving, they so abundantly water the place from which they just drew strength with their poisonous pus. Their pus corrodes and weakens business and people.

Scoundrels are given to capable people so that remove the veil of a childish view of the world, learn to see the falseness of charm, learn to value yourself and not sell yourself, remove from yourself the desire to shift responsibility, remove the servile service to decency and much more. Living with scoundrels contributes to growing up and maturing. Scoundrels, like manure, fertilize the soil on which souls ripen.

But what should the scoundrels themselves do? Is it possible to cure this disease? Meanness is not a disease, it's a choice. Therefore, the battle against meanness begins with a choice. The choice to live with dignity. A person at any moment can choose dignity instead of meanness and live like a human being. But the scoundrel does not change anything, because living vilely is very profitable.

Living vilely is very profitable. You don't have to answer for anything. Questions roll off vile people like water off geese. Vile people leave behind traces of tracked tanks. Behind them, everything is always lifeless, like in the desert: no family, no friends, no associates, no completed work. At the same time, they are always right and always offended.

Scoundrels stay in their trap for a very long time. Until they are left completely alone. Until they fool themselves. Until they remain fools. Until they have no strength left. Until they lose everything in their lives. And it all always comes down to just this. Vile life is a surprisingly losing thing. You want to beat everyone, but you end up losing. Life teaches scoundrels very painfully. She forces them to sell everything, even their souls, and then rips off their masks.

Scoundrels are always mentally frostbitten people. In order to act meanly, they need to not feel that they are hurting people. They need not to notice that someone has invested in them mentally. They need to ignore the fact that they owe something to someone. Scoundrels prefer not to notice the spiritual contribution of other people and step over them. Calling it freedom to live your life.

A scoundrel is a person who once doubted himself, considered himself small and worthless, unable to take the place destined for him and follow the path destined for him.. Meanness is a choice - to consider yourself unworthy and petty, and to live near your true place. As a rule, there is always someone whom the scoundrel blames for his choice. These are people who did not support him in a moment of self-doubt, who did not respond enthusiastically enough to his immature creations, etc. In a word, those people who underestimated him. Revenge on such people becomes the meaning of a scoundrel’s life. He has already given up on himself, so he spends all his efforts on other people, or rather on changing the opinion of himself in the eyes of other people. At the same time, the scoundrel understands that he does not live up to their high rating. Then he pretends to be a most devoted student or friend and goes to apprenticeship with them. People open their souls to him and begin to invest. The scoundrel imbues himself with knowledge and strength, and then devours his offenders. The scoundrel is “forced” to always act under a guise, because he takes power from those whom he hates most and whom he wants to defeat.

Meanness looks so creepy only as long as a person does not want to see his meanness. Once the meanness is seen, you can work with it, like with any other obstacle. But who would be brave enough to see this in themselves?! Probably only those who are tired of SEEMING strong, beautiful, smart, sincere, who are tired of coveting other people's places. Only those who have decided to REALLY come into line with the image that they carry in their soul and accept HIS place in life can see meanness in themselves.

If you are like that, then you will understand that this article is not for some abstract scoundrels. This article is for you. Meanness is a “disease” of little people, and we as a people are all infected with this “disease”. Under the guise of modesty and the ability to keep a low profile, meanness is encouraged in our culture; under the guise of rudeness, meanness is encouraged in Western culture. As a result, the age of Kli-Yug continues, and “You are not the heroes!” But what is a whole nation if each individual person does not want to see his own meanness. I can’t resist going back to the beginning of my article: “ Meanness is a very insidious obstacle. Its cunning lies in the fact that not a single scoundrel recognizes himself as such.».

To achieve his goal, a scoundrel can use all his cunning. Sometimes such people are experts in humanity or subconsciously sense who from their environment may give in. Hypocrites lie, play on the feelings of others and weave intrigues.

You can catch a vile person in a lie if you compare the facts and analyze what he says. Most likely, this unprincipled individual will screw up somewhere. Only a seasoned liar can endlessly lead everyone by the nose for his own benefit. Observe the facial expressions and gestures of a person who does not inspire your trust, whom you suspect of lacking honesty.

If he is lying, you will see inconsistencies in the meaning of his words and body movements that are beyond your control.

When you realize that a person has ulterior motives and is willing to set others up for his own gain, you will be on your guard. The more people are aware that this person cannot be trusted, the less stable the scoundrel's position will be. For example, if we're talking about about the work team, try to open your colleagues’ eyes to the vile person.

Don't be manipulated

To avoid becoming part of someone's sneaky plan, learn to protect yourself from manipulation. The main tool that will help you is already with you – this is your intuition. If you subconsciously feel discomfort when communicating with a person, perhaps he is trying to use you.

Don't follow the scoundrel's lead. If you don't do what he wants, you will ruin his plans. This is the most effective way fighting a hypocrite. After all, open confrontation is not suitable here. An outright scandal with an appeal to the conscience of a scoundrel will not help you much. Believe me, the scoundrel will be able to get out, and you will remain a fool.

Try to communicate less with those people from whom negativity comes. If you are forced to do this, for example, due to official duties, limit the time you talk with him to a minimum.

Showcase your confidence, strength of character and insight. Be calm and skeptical. Most likely, scoundrels will not touch such people.

Do not let untrusted acquaintances and colleagues know about the details of your personal life. Otherwise, an insidious person will take advantage of your frankness and in the future will be able to use the information received for his own dirty purposes.

Under no circumstances should you gossip in front of random witnesses or even make harmless remarks about third parties who are not present at the time of the conversation. Otherwise, you may be drawn into some kind of intrigue against your will.

The main thing when meeting hypocrites is not to be disappointed in other people. Believe me, not everyone around you is capable of meanness.

The ability to separate lies from truth is extremely necessary in life. Dishonest and insincere relationships can cause drama and unnecessary suffering. If you learn to recognize lies, you will be able to achieve what you want with less effort. And also learn to avoid situations that are unpleasant for you.

Instructions

Study by facial expressions and. The very first and main indicator lies– gestures. cannot control them, for this reason it is gestures that eloquently inform you about lies. If a person rubs his neck, scratches his eye, or covers his lips with his hand, it is likely that he is lying. Closed gestures such as crossed arms and legs can also indicate insincerity.

Pay attention to the emotional coloring of speech. The more sincere a person is, the less so-called “fussy” in his speech - nervousness, irritability, the desire to repeat the same thing several times. The less confident the interlocutor is that he is right, the more emotionally charged his speech will be. True, this recognition method lies less reliable than reading sign language. But it is good when you are talking with two interlocutors at once, each of whom defends the opposite point of view. Usually the one who is calmer speaks.

Be attentive to the details of speech. How more people lies, the more detailed the situation. “I went to a disco with Lena” - such a simple and laconic phrase rings true. What if this whole story with excuses about having to go to a disco, and with Lena, then it is quite possible that the person is lying. A lie contains a lot of insignificant details, in which the narrator himself begins to get confused as the story progresses.

Check details. If you already see several factors that indicate a lie, you can inquire deeply about the details of the situation. This is the most Right way lead a liar into a dead end. As a rule, no one thinks through the details in advance lies new story. They all appear in response to questioning. By starting these questions, you will be able to see the gestures lies-sincerity, listen to the coloring, notice inconsistencies in the little things. This technique will be useful to you if it is important to deceive a liar. clean water.

Helpful advice

Recognizing a lie is not that difficult. Be careful and observant, and it will be very, very difficult for you to lie.

There must be trust in the relationship between wife and husband. However, women often try to get their husbands clean water. Wives check correspondence on the Internet, as well as mobile phone. But there are more reliable ways.

Instructions

The biggest sign that your husband is dating someone else is that he regularly stays away from home for long periods of time outside of work hours. This is especially noticeable if the husband did not have overtime work before. In addition, the majority of those whose husbands cheat on them notice that over time, people who were once so close to them move away from them. What gives men away is that they don't pay as much attention as before. However, it is also true that during such periods husbands become more tender than usual towards their wives. This is explained by the fact that in this way they want to completely divert attention from suspicions of fidelity.

In addition, if the husband is a husband, then he begins to pay more attention to his appearance than usual. Often during such periods, after returning from urgent “overtime”, your eyes sparkle. These in your husband speak for themselves about his “campaigns to the left.” But these signs alone cannot be completely trusted. After all, it is possible that your husband is really late at work, and he does not have the strength to show attention to you as well.

You can immediately notice the tendency to “go to the left” in in public places. Pay attention to whether he only pays all his attention to you or whether he sometimes turns to strangers.

In addition to all of the above, there are proven ways to determine whether your husband is capable of infidelity. One of them is sign language. Try to talk confidentially with. During such a conversation, casually ask him this simple question: “Is fidelity important to you?” Pay attention not only to his answer itself, but also to how he responds. Does he use any suspicious gestures or is there tension in his body?

Helpful advice

However, remember that thought is material. And if you constantly think that your husband is cheating and make it clear to him in every possible way that you suspect him of cheating, then cheating will happen sooner or later.

The first time we encounter a child lying and being cunning is when the baby turns two years old. By this age, the child begins to understand that if you lie, you may not do what you want from him. And if a child breaks a vase or does something else wrong, all the blame can simply be shifted onto the cat.

In fact, children's lies are formed in a child long before two years of age. It begins in infancy, when the child cries simply to see his mother, and not because he needs something. And from the very early years the baby gets what he wants, that is, at his first cry, the mother comes and, trying to understand the reason for the crying, spends a sufficient amount of time with the child. The rule “cheat and get it” is fixed in a child’s head.

The child grows up and starts throwing tantrums at you in the store. With all his appearance he shows that without this machine life is no longer sweet to him. This is also the cunning of the little tyrant. He realizes that he could easily do without the toy, but to get it he needs to pretend to be in front of his parents and feign suffering.

What do we do when we catch a child lying? We force you to confess in front of everyone, thereby humiliating the child. Now he understands that next time he needs to lie more sophisticatedly. Unfortunately, on this moment no one has learned to wean neither adults nor children from lying. We all time, to one degree or another. Whether for selfish reasons or noble ones, we still tell lies. Fighting children's lies is tantamount to fighting windmills. But you shouldn’t leave the situation without your control.

Instead of catching your child at every trick, try to teach him to distinguish “good” lies from “bad” ones. The child must understand the limits of what is permitted. It’s one thing to not tell parents the truth about what gift their children prepared for their mothers on March 8th to surprise them. And it’s quite another thing to hide my mother’s Golden ring and pretend that you don’t know where it is.

You need to understand that the first innocent and naive childish deception is not yet a reason for panic and decisive action. Some peoples, on the contrary, believe that children's lies are a sign of good imagination and proper development of fantasy in a child. Therefore, the main thing is to find a middle ground, and not to attract excessive attention to the problem, and also not to miss the opportunity to influence the child in childhood.

Before you start criticizing and raising a child, think again about your behavior towards him. After all, one of the common reasons for children's lies is a lack of attention from adults. The child wants to appear better than he is, in the hope of simply earning your praise.