A typical symptom of adolescent crisis. Features of the manifestation of the crisis in adolescence

The adolescent crisis begins and ends one of the most difficult periods in a person's life, namely the time between childhood and adulthood. But let's not be afraid of this word. The Greek word for "crisis" means a decision, a turning point, an outcome. Age crises are not a disorder or a disease, but a turning point in human development. They are associated with the transition from one stage of life to another. They complete one period and help to adapt to the next.

Outstanding Soviet psychologist L.S. Vygotsky said that development does not proceed smoothly. Quieter and longer stable stages are replaced by relatively short and violent crisis periods. According to Vygotsky, "a crisis is a time of qualitative positive changes, the result of which is the transition of an individual to a new, higher stage of development." That is, this is a normal and necessary phenomenon.

4 differences between a crisis period and a stable one:

• There have been dramatic changes in the child's behavior. Just yesterday he was still sweet and obedient, but today he was replaced.
• The beginning and end of this time have blurred boundaries. It is not clear that the adolescent crisis begins at eleven or twelve and ends at fifteen.
• The child constantly conflicts with parents and other people, argues, does not accept persuasion.
• Regression in development: “the processes of withering away and coagulation, disintegration and decomposition of what was formed at the previous stage are brought to the fore” (Vygotsky LS).

Age crises in children:

• Newborn. This is the most striking and undeniable crisis in the development of a child. This is the transition from one environment to another, from the uterine to the outside world.
• 1 year. It is associated with the transition of the baby from a horizontal position to a vertical one. He stands on his feet, separates from the hands of adults, meaningful speech appears.
• 3 years. It is also called the “I myself” crisis. At this age, the child divides himself and the mother into different people. The pronoun "I" appears. The baby is mastering the space, learning to manipulate objects as intended.
• 7 years. It is defined by the transition from preschool to school childhood. From play to learning. The way is changing.
• 11-13 years old. Actually adolescent or pubertal crisis. (Puberty - puberty). A distinctive feature of the adolescent crisis from others is the longer course of this period. At this time, children change not only physiologically. There are changes in thinking, behavior,.
• 15-17 years old. The crisis of youth when it comes. It often follows from the previous stage.

Almost all developmental crises have similar manifestations. They are especially difficult at the age of three and in adolescents.

Characteristic signs of a crisis period:

• negativism;
• stubbornness;
• coarseness;
• disobedience;
• self-will;
• obstinacy;
• depreciation;
• despotism.

Yes, childhood is a difficult time. As many as six crisis periods. And the most, perhaps, the most difficult of them - the crisis of adolescence. We have already written above that this is the longest of the crises. In fact, these are two crises, arising from one another, often without a stable gap between them.

Like any other, the adolescent crisis has no clear boundaries. In some children, its manifestations may be as early as 9-10 years old, in others only by 13-14 years. In girls, this period usually begins earlier, but it is calmer. In boys, maturation, as a rule, starts later, but it manifests itself very rapidly.

L.S. Vygotsky identifies 3 phases of the adolescent crisis:

• Negative phase or pre-crisis. The first signs may be as early as 9-10 years old. The old system of values ​​is dying out. Breaking of stereotypes is taking place. Problems begin in the relationship between parents and children. The first signs of puberty appear.
• Actually the crisis itself. 13-15 years old. This phase can proceed in different ways: from a pronounced negative in relation to all areas of life, to a calm transition to mastering new skills. New interests, opportunities, ways appear. Children with all their might defend their individuality and are separated from their parents.
• Positive phase or post-crisis. It comes in different ways for everyone, usually ending with a pubertal crisis. This is a fairly calm time, when the further path is formed and the further path has already been determined, and puberty is almost over.

The adolescent crisis in psychology has two directions:

• Addiction to adults. The child does not want to grow up, does not want to be an adult, to take responsibility. There is a regression in development. Return to childish ways of behavior.
• Independence. Denial of the authority of an adult, rebellion, negativism, stubbornness. In this case, the child defends not only his rights, but also his personal space, demands equality.

It is important to remember that both of these tendencies are most often manifested in the behavior of teenagers. Our grown-up kid will be foaming at the mouth to prove that he is right, that he feels good and “don't touch me at all”. But in fact, at this moment, he will most of all want you to come up and hug him, protect him, as in childhood.

Medical characteristics of the adolescent crisis

The time of puberty is a period of growth and development of the body, which proceeds spasmodically, unevenly and very actively. There is an intensive growth and change of the body. Children's figures are gradually acquiring signs of gender. The endocrine glands work intensively. The muscles are improving, the process of ossification of the skeleton is underway. The cardiovascular system also develops unevenly. The nervous system does not have time to adjust to these changes, therefore it often goes into a state of inhibition or, conversely, strong excitement.

Such changes in the body can lead to temporary disruptions:

• pressure drops;
• tachycardia (rapid heartbeat);
• dizziness;
• fainting;
• increased excitability.

These manifestations directly affect health and behavior. They lead to irritability, nervousness, and disturbances. Teenagers quickly get tired, become inattentive in the classroom, and academic performance suffers. Thus, the following can be distinguished.

• The rapid pace of physical and mental development leads to the formation of new ones. But they cannot be fully satisfied due to insufficient social maturity. In other words, the student feels independent and independent. But he still cannot lead the lifestyle of an adult.
• The leading activity is now communication with peers, and not educational activity. Therefore, academic performance declines, and the opinion of adults ceases to be significant.
• The development of cognitive functions leads to new knowledge. Thinking shifts from the figurative to the abstract. It now works based on its own experience. The child uses his knowledge, memory, deduction,. This also leads to the realization of their individuality, uniqueness. Reflections on your mission. Fear caused by these reflections. Views on life are being formed.
• The teenager constantly experiences an internal contradiction between desires and possibilities. He is able to realistically and most often critically assess his skills. But he still worries like a child if he doesn't get what he wants.
• Often the cause of adolescence crisis is acute conflict with parents. Many adults do not know or do not understand that their child's behavior during adolescent crisis is natural. It is due to all of the above reasons. But moms and dads continue to take the old approach to their growing up offspring.

Signs of an adolescent crisis

The signs or symptoms of adolescent crisis can be divided into 3 groups:

• Psychological.
• Social.
• Biological.

The main features of the adolescent crisis are manifested in behavioral and cognitive changes:

• Negativism, that is, unwillingness to obey and obey;
• Loss of interest in old hobbies;
• Decreased productivity of cognitive functions, which leads to a decrease in academic performance;
• Feeling the meaninglessness of your life;
• Feeling like a failure
• Fear of the future;
• The desire to prove their individuality by any means, including deviant behavior.

Social signs of a transitional crisis:

• Striving for independence, independence from parents - separation;
• The authority of the adult is ignored;
• Leaving horizontally: communication with peers becomes more important than with adults.
• The desire to unite in groups. Moreover, in early adolescence, these groups are same-sex. In the older, there is an interest in the opposite sex.
• depending on communication with peers;
• Lack of confidence in yourself and in the world around you.

The biological signs of puberty include:

• The onset of puberty, the appearance of secondary sexual characteristics
• Rapid growth and body changes.
• The appearance of profuse sweating and odor associated with this.
• Vocal cord mutation in boys.
• A sharp change in mood, accompanied by a breakdown.
• Skin rashes.

All of these manifestations of adolescence can occur throughout the growing up phase. This difficult time is associated not only with psychological changes. During this period, the whole life of your "baby" is rapidly changing. Therefore, you need to be attentive with them and notice in time when the crisis turns into painful conditions.

Complications caused by a transitional crisis

It so happens that the child does not cope with the changes that are happening to him. This may be due to misunderstanding on the part of parents, teachers and especially peers. Also, the reason may be excessive stress. It is clear that the adolescent crisis is an ordeal. If there is not enough time for it, the nervous system will fail. How can violations be manifested?

Behavioral Disorders. Tantrums. Alienation. Leaving home. Smoking. Alcohol and drug use. Theft. No interest in communicating with peers. Suicidal moods and other forms of deviant behavior.

Mental disorders. Neuroses, including tics, stuttering,. Accentuation. Psychopathies. Obsessive-compulsive disorder. Teenage depression.

Perhaps the most difficult problem complicating the adolescent crisis is the problem of suicidal behavior. Rarely does a teen really want to die for himself. Suicide attempts are a cry for help, an attempt to attract attention to oneself. This is a signal that a person is in a critical situation, that he himself can no longer cope with his troubles. Ignoring this problem can lead to tragedy.

In cases where you, as a parent, cannot help your child, when you see that the disorders described above have appeared in the behavior, do not try to solve them yourself. In these cases, you do not need to blame someone, but you should contact the specialists. Which ones? First of all, to a psychologist. You can also see a neurologist, psychotherapist, or psychiatrist.

How can you help your child at this difficult moment in his life? How to avoid complications? How to maintain a warm and trusting relationship with him? And is it possible to save them when your seemingly still baby becomes simply uncontrollable?

The answer is yes you can.

• Study the theory to find out how the transitional age should proceed. Psychology as a science has been studying the teenage crisis for a long time. Therefore, there are many now. From it you will learn the opinion of the world's best psychologists, get tips and advice on communication and education.
• Accept the changes that are happening to your child and in his behavior as the norm. Yes, he rebelles and disobeys. Yes, she doesn't want anything. And he, as if, is not interested in anything. But it only seems so. A vulnerable and touchy nature is hidden behind the visible indifference.
• Maintain self-reliance and independence. Avoid overprotectiveness. In a relationship with a teenager, the techniques that you used recently are no longer suitable. This is a time of changes not only for the child, but also for the restructuring of the system of the whole family.
• Separation is necessary for the development of the personality of a boy or girl. Separation from family, parents, getting out of their influence can be too abrupt. But with the right reaction of adults, this quickly passes and the relationship is restored.
• Be able to listen without trying to instruct or ask questions. Often teenagers just need to speak out so that they can be listened to, but not given advice. It is very important to learn how to do this. Then you will always know what is happening in the life of your grown up baby.
• Be considerate of the child's behavior and mood. Watch out for the start of violations. Do not be afraid to go to a psychologist and ask for help. Be on the side of the child, be his friend, support his interests.
• Rest assured that a transitional crisis will not last forever. It lasts for several years, but it certainly ends. It largely depends on adults how their matured son or daughter will come out of the crisis.

Often the problem of adolescent crisis is due to the relationship with the parents. Many adults are not ready to readjust as quickly as it happens with a child at the age of 12-15. This is especially true for mothers who do not work, but are engaged in upbringing. They feel that the baby is growing up, out of control, and the mother herself seems to be no longer needed.

Therefore, one more important advice for those who live with a teenager: pay more attention to yourself, your health, your favorite business. To shift the focus of attention from the child to your life, then there will be less nagging towards him. It must be remembered that adolescence is associated with the emergence of the need to be independent.

Anyone who thinks that the adolescent crisis can be summed up in a formula that works for everyone is wrong. There is no such formula. As in the whole world, there are no two people with the same fingerprints. Each person, regardless of age, is unique. Likewise, the course of a crisis always follows its own path.

Factors influencing the course of the adolescent crisis:

• features of physical and mental development;
• the ability to communicate in a group of peers;
• relationship with parents.

The adolescent crisis is, in short, a period of rapid growth and development of the child. This is the transition from childhood to adulthood, accompanied by separation from the family and the acquisition of new functions, knowledge and abilities. By the end of this period, we will already see an almost formed adult.

But we must remember, no matter how adult our former baby feels, he is still a child at heart. Gentle, vulnerable, touchy. He needs understanding, support and love. And daily hugs. In many ways, it will depend on the parents what the child will become. Be patient, and as a reward, you will receive a great relationship with your children in the future.

Greetings, dear readers and creators (parents) of our future teenagers. Your child moved into middle school, and along with this you stopped recognizing him? Can you guess that the teenage period has arrived, but are not yet sure for sure? Then read this article.

I want to make a reservation right away that the material in the article is presented from the perspective of the old options for defining adolescence, and not new proposals to extend it to 24 years (so far, by the way, this has not been approved anyway).

Let me explain why. In my opinion, psychophysiological changes are primary, and these norms were established long ago. Another question is that not all people go through the stages of "switching" from one age to another in a timely manner. In this connection, we should not talk about shifting boundaries in the age classification, but about infantilism and anomalies of the modern generation.

• Representatives of the new theory operate with the idea that today's youth graduate late, but let me remind you that you can enter a university at any age.
• Another argument is late marriages. But I think that this is a sign of a change in mentality, stereotypes, gender identification and, finally, the influence of state conditions that dictate the need for a long and difficult self-realization before creating a new cell and new lives. It is not a matter of unwillingness to perform a reproductive function, but of a conscious decision made by a mature person.

That is, I believe that modern scientists propose to change the attitude towards the situation and re-interpret it as normal, and not to solve the problems observed in society.

But enough of the lyrics. Let's talk about what adolescence is in the well-established theory of psychology, which so far remains the leading one.

Literally, this period is interpreted as "turning into an adult." Adolescence is usually called the stage of life between 10 and 17 years. At the same time, there are:

• early adolescence (10-14);
• senior adolescence (15-17).

However, sometimes older age is referred to as early adolescence. The World Health Organization considers adolescence to be between 10 and 20 years old. Thus, on average, adolescence lasts from 10 to 15 years.

Summary

The leading need of age is the desire for deliberate adulthood, self-affirmation.

The social developmental situation is a teenage peer.

The leading activity of the age is intimate and personal communication with peers.

Due to the surge of hormones, there is:

• increased fatigue,
• absent-mindedness,
• lethargy
• resentment.

The main neoplasms of adolescence include:

• the formation of self-concept, self-awareness, reflection;
• identification;
• awareness of individuality.

In total, in adolescence, two phases can be distinguished: negative and positive. The transition from the first to the second is considered the beginning of productive activity.

The specifics of adolescence

The transitional stage is full of contradictions, but it is they that ensure the development and formation of the personality. The main contradiction, from which this period begins, is the discrepancy between the existing tools (knowledge, experience, skills, motives) and new social situations, types of interaction with the world.

In adolescence, there is a rapid development of all aspects of the personality:

• biological (puberty and physical growth);
• psychophysiological (self-awareness, self-respect, identification);
• cognitive (thinking);
• social (relationships, behavior, worldview).

It should be noted that at the same time, each of the development areas is closely interconnected with the other. With their uneven or multidirectional development, personality contradictions arise.

Mental symptoms make themselves felt before others. Teenagers are no longer interested in children's games, but the hobbies of older teenagers are still incomprehensible. They do not yet have new ideals and full-fledged self-awareness, but they no longer want, like children, to blindly obey someone's authority.

The natural negative manifestations of age include:

• pessimistic attitude;
• increased sensitivity and irritability;
• physical and mental illness (whims and fights);
• daydreaming and uncertainty;
• ambition;
• nervousness;
• dissatisfaction with yourself.

The main risk of adolescence is deviation (addiction, suicide, crime, etc.). You can read more about teenage deviations in the article.

It should be noted that the manifestations of adolescence not only differ in gender, but also depend on a number of other factors. For example, region, place (city, village), climate, time, country, and so on. From what the presented options for the behavior and state of adolescents should be considered as the basis, but not as an obligatory truth and the only possible option for the development of personality.

Age-specific reactions

There are four reactions in adolescence:

• emancipation;
• grouping with peers;
• interest in the opposite sex;
• numerous hobbies.

Let's take a closer look at each of them.

Emancipation reaction

It is a desire to act independently. It permeates the entire life of a teenager, that is, you can observe this reaction every day. Allocate:

• emotional (care for communication with peers);
• behavioral (avoiding parental control);
• normative emancipation (denial of familiar values, search for new ones).

Grouping with peers

The peer group is a regulator of the adolescent's behavior. He is looking for self-affirmation in her.

Interest in the opposite sex

Relations with the opposite sex are twofold: on the one hand - interest, and on the other - feigned indifference.

Hobbies

There are several groups of teenage hobbies:

• intellectual and aesthetic (deep passion for something);
• bodily-manual (the purpose of training is strength and endurance);
• leadership;
• egocentric (amateur performance);
• gambling (bets);
• informative and communicative (TV, internet, telephone).

Sexual development

It runs in two directions:

• awareness of one's own bodily sexuality;
• searching for a kindred spirit and love, romanticizing relationships.

S. Bueller noted that there is also mental puberty. It can arise long before physical maturation, and end after it. In simple terms, this is the desire to be with someone, to complement each other, which, according to the author's theory, is characteristic of all people. Thus, we can say that this is exactly the direction of romanticism, relationships without sexual connotation: conversations, spending time together.

Gender identification is one of the neoplasms of age. That is, there is a formation of sexual orientation, self-perception of the adolescent by gender. Gender identification is biological and psychological. Their discrepancy is fraught with intrapersonal conflict and sexual behavior disorders.

Scientists noted that the development of sexual identification is more influenced by the socio-cultural factor than the biological one. That is, the decisive role is assigned to the models and stereotypes cultivated in society, as well as to the conditions of the adolescent's environment.

Physical development

Teenagers grow by an average of 9 centimeters per year. There is a rapid growth of the heart muscle (length, width, volume). Changes in pressure (usually increased), heart rate. All body systems are rapidly changing.

General weakening is characteristic of modern adolescents. Despite the seeming acceleration, in comparison with adolescents of the past decades, modern girls and boys, according to the results of research by L. V. Mishchenko, in more than 80% of cases are underweight. The overall strength also decreased.

Emotional sphere

Emotional instability and inconsistency are characteristic:

• purposefulness and impulsivity;
• self-confidence and easy vulnerability;
• uncertainty, romanticism and rationalism, cynicism.

Emotions differ in duration and intensity.

Cognitive development

There is a transition to abstract thinking, hypothetical-deductive reasoning, methods of analysis and synthesis, inferences, voluntary attention and memory. A teenager can:

• see perspectives;
• focus on a possible future;
• analyze your own behavior;
• think hypothetically;
• plan for the future;
• move from the general to the particular;
• memorize material using mnemonic techniques.

Personal development

A sense of maturity is characteristic of adolescents. Their adulthood can be of the following nature:

• imitative (the simplest, but dubious way: imitation of appearance);
• exemplary (striving to resemble a "real woman", "a real man");
• social (cooperation with adults, participation in family life, society);
• intellectual (self-education, additional search for scientific information).

In adolescence, the old value orientations are scrapped and new guidelines are sought or created.

Self-awareness is formed through egocentrism, which is overcome by cognition of peers (communication). Initially, egocentrism manifests itself in two ways:

• feeling like an actor and seeing the world as a scene;
• conviction in the uniqueness of their emotions.

Peer communication and love

Communication with peers is the leading activity of adolescence. Parents need to accept that the old trust with their child will disappear. However, it can be earned again if you change the tactics of interaction and recognize an equal partner in your child.

But communication with peers still comes to the fore. It performs a number of important functions:

• transfer of the experience of growing up, discussion (especially relevant for the sexual sphere);
• gender identification (assimilation of roles, stereotypes, preferences, identification of orientation);
• psychotherapeutic function (the teenager releases his emotional experiences);
• emancipation from parents.

Love is very important for teenagers. Love has 3 components:

• Platonic,
• erotic,
• sexual component.

Only the combination of all three ensures harmony in a relationship. In adolescence, this does not happen yet. Boys, as a rule, have an erotic character, while girls have a platonic one. Nevertheless, through the relationship, the teenager prepares for the future role of husband (wife), father (mother).

Age objectives

In the process of adolescence, for successful socialization in the future, a teenager needs to successfully solve a number of problems. In which support and help from parents will be invaluable. However, it is important to remember that we can only talk about cooperation. So, what are these age tasks.

1. Accepting your appearance.
2. Successful gender identification (assimilation of male and female roles accepted in society).
3. Changing the style and forms of communication with peers.
4. Establishing a new style of relationship with parents (equal cooperation).
5. Development of professional interests and abilities for further professional orientation in adolescence.
6. Acceptance and assimilation of mature behavior that presupposes responsibility and initiative.

If all these points regarding a teenager at the stage of completion of the age period can be answered in the affirmative, it means that his transitional age was successful.

Maladaptation

Disadaptation, that is, problems with accepting a new social situation and entering it, is a normative phenomenon of adolescence. This arises against the background of the uneven development of the spheres of the personality. Disadaptation is manifested:

• critical of yourself and others;
• hypersensitivity;
• vulnerability;
• aggressiveness;
• instability of desires and moods;
• intrapersonal conflicts (the most popular is "Who am I?").

A teenager seeks to know himself, hence the craving for peers (clubs of interest, subcultures, multiple acquaintances). That is, a teenager receives information about himself by looking at his peers.

All adolescents are researchers. They study the world, themselves, other people. Sometimes introspection takes an extreme option and turns into self-digging, self-flagellation.

• It was experimentally revealed that anxious, insecure, uncommunicative, withdrawn, overly self-controlling and guilty adolescents have problems with adaptation.
• The average level of adaptation was noted in unstable adolescents with an average level of self-control, inclined to dominance and aggression.
• Confident, sociable, non-anxious adolescents with adequate self-esteem and a level of self-control are distinguished by successful adaptation.

Sometimes the normative maladjustment is delayed, and then, as a rule, we are talking about.

Teenage crisis

Teenage crisis is a relative concept:

• some researchers believe that this is the entire period of transitional age;
• someone takes the first year for this;
• and someone believes that this is an individual phenomenon that may arise at any time during adolescence or not at all.

For example, psychologist L. S. Vygotsky at the stage of adolescence (adolescence) identified two crises - 13 years and 17 years. The first crisis marks the transition from childhood to adolescence, the second - from adolescence to youth.

Simply put, the adolescent crisis is the peak of emotional activity, hormonal release, and personal development. The extreme version of the crisis is.

Thus, the adolescent crisis is a manifestation of an intrapersonal conflict formed under the influence of external factors (parenting style) and internal (discrepancy between the needs of a teenager and the possibilities of meeting them).

If parents act pedagogically competently, then deviations, affective outbursts and conflicts can be avoided. True, it is important not to confuse the smooth course of adolescence with a specific crisis. Some children, on the contrary, become too withdrawn in themselves, which is dangerous with depression and suicide.

If we talk about the primary crisis of early adolescence (the transition from childhood to adolescence), then it has two main features:

• decreased performance, school performance (due to the ongoing change in the type of thinking);
• negativism (negative behavioral reactions caused by the desire for emancipation).

1. While adolescents tend to move away from their families, it is important to support them. Teenagers need support and unobtrusive advice from an adult in difficult times. However, it is important for parents to eliminate edification, suspicion and strict control.
2. The child's ability to love depends on the relationship between parents and children that has developed up to adolescence. And first love is an important feeling for a person. A loving relationship is essential. This is the only way a teenager will be able to recognize himself and the opposite sex in order to build a family in the future.
3. When interacting with a teenager, it is important to remember that there is no perfect relationship. There are "good enough", as they say in psychology. That is, you need to learn to empathize with your child, recognize his individuality and personality.
4. Adolescents occupy a marginal, that is, a borderline position, the same happens with adults. When interacting with a teenager (half-child-half-adult), you need to act as a parent and an equal partner at the same time.
5. You should not try to inspire respect for you with a sense of duty ("we feed you, raise you, drink") or age ("I am older"). So you will only meet protest. The child must come to respect you on his own, based on parental support. You need to accept the child, not focus on his shortcomings. Understand, do not judge.
6. If a teenager talks about something, then it is important for him. Phrases from parents like “Don't go crazy. This is really a problem! Here I have ... "," Stop suffering nonsense "and the like. Listen to the child and help solve the problem. If you are convinced that his problem is a trifle, then you can help him quickly get rid of him. Teach your teenager (with facts and arguments, actions) to consider this a trifle too.

Remembering the new principle of interaction is simple:

• not orders, but requests;
• not notations, but wishes;
• not control, but please inform, and so on.

There is no optimal and uniform style. After all, your child is one and only. You yourself must build relationships based on general principles, age and personality characteristics of your child.

Most of the scandals and whims in the relationship between parents and adolescents are explained by the unwillingness of parents (or lack of understanding of the need) to change the usual style of interaction. To study the essence of whims and restructuring relationships, I recommend reading the book by E. N. Korneeva “Children's whims. What is it and how to deal with it ”. The book examines in detail all age crises (including adolescence) and the most popular conflicts between children and parents.

How to promote positive child behavior

The information presented below is relevant for overcoming and preventing deviations, correction. That is, these are the basic principles of parenting behavior for the successful passage of adolescence for their child.

1. Invite the teenager for a dialogue. The banal and simple "let's talk?"
2. Praise on every occasion. You can't combine praise and abuse. Due to natural age-related negativism, a teenager will not notice the praise, but will take note only of censure.
3. Together with the teenager, write the desired styles of behavior (relevant for both parties), discuss them.
4. It is important to set real and clear boundaries, prohibitions and punishments. Often, adolescents test their parents for the strength and value of their word. Keep any promises and do not say: "I will kill you" (after all, you will not kill, I hope). Here "For a day I will have to turn off the Internet" sounds much better and more realistic.
5. Do not demand instant execution of the request. The teenager should be given 5-10 minutes for reflection and inner reflection.
6. Unobtrusively remind you of your teen's responsibilities.
7. Always offer an alternative (or at least keep it ready).
8. Focus on positive and desirable phenomena, ignore undesirable ones.
9. Agree on the penalty in advance. It doesn't make sense to come up with a censure after a teenager hasn't slept unannounced at home. He had to know all the risks and consequences in advance.

Critical situations

In adolescence, unfortunately, situations that are extremely dangerous for the child himself and his environment are often encountered:

• crime,
• dependencies,
• depression and suicide,
• psychosomatic diseases.

These are dangerous conditions that require immediate attention to a specialist. To prevent them, it is important to avoid destructive parenting styles and to engage in prevention of deviations in adolescents.

In conclusion, I recommend reading the book by O. V. Kholodkovskaya, V. A. Pashnina "Difficult transitional age: An easy solution to complex problems." The work devotes a whole chapter to a detailed consideration of these problems (signs, practical advice).

So, adolescence is a difficult stage for parents and a child. But if you pass it successfully, you will get a good interlocutor, companion, support, understanding.

You can learn about gender differences in the course of adolescence from articles and.

I wish you an understanding with your wonderful offspring!

Adolescence is one of the most important, significantly affecting further development, a critical period in a person's life. He acts as a "bridge" between childhood and adulthood. The concept of "crisis" in relation to the adolescent period is used to emphasize the severity, painfulness of the transitional state from childhood to adulthood, this period of breakdown, decay (age of "storm and onslaught", "emotional storm"). First of all, it is associated with the restructuring of the child's body - puberty (puberty). The activation and complex interaction of growth hormones and sex hormones cause intense physical and physiological development. Secondary sexual characteristics appear (body hair, girls 'breasts grow, boys' voice breaks). Adolescence is sometimes referred to as a protracted crisis. Difficulties arise in the functioning of the heart, lungs, blood supply to the brain, the emotional background becomes unstable. Therefore, irritability may appear, even aggressiveness, violent bursts of energy are replaced by a decline in strength.

A sense of maturity appears, parental authority is depreciated. There are frequent conflicts in the family, often a teenager reacts with a protest to any attempts to interfere in his life. It is through this collision that they recognize themselves, about their capabilities, satisfy the need for self-affirmation. In cases where this does not happen and the adolescent period passes smoothly, without conflict, then in the future you can face two options: with a belated, and therefore especially painful and stormy course of the crisis at the age of 17-18, or with a protracted infantile position of a “child” that characterizes a person during his youth and even in adulthood.

At this time, the child already wants everything at once. A person already sees the possibilities that are open to him, but in fact he does not yet know how to control his behavior, desires, he is still a child. Needing parents, their love and care, their opinion, they feel a strong desire to be independent, equal with them in rights.

How the relationship will develop in this difficult period for both parties depends mainly on the style of upbringing that has developed in the family, and the parents' ability to restructure - to accept the feelings of their child. The main difficulties in communication, conflicts arise due to parental control over behavior, the teenager's studies, his choice of friends, etc. Control can be fundamentally different. The most favorable style of family upbringing is democratic, when parents do not infringe on the child's rights, but at the same time demand the fulfillment of duties; Control is based on warm feelings and reasonable care. Overprotection, permissiveness, as well as indifference or authoritarian upbringing - all this impedes the successful development of a teenager's personality. Conflicts arise when parents treat a teenager as a small child and when requirements are inconsistent, when it is expected of him, then child obedience, then adult independence.

The main feature of a teenager is personal instability. Opposite traits, aspirations coexist and fight with each other, defining the contradictory character and behavior of a growing up child.

Many adolescents, because of their physical condition or appearance, become very nervous and blame themselves for failure. These feelings are often not realized, but latently form tension, which is difficult for a teenager to cope with. Against this background, any external difficulties are perceived especially tragically.

Adolescence is a period of desperate attempts to "get through everything." At the same time, the teenager for the most part begins his journey from the forbidden or previously impossible sides of adulthood. Many teenagers "out of curiosity" try alcohol and drugs. This can be done for trial or for courage, but it is possible for the occurrence of physical or psychological dependence. Adolescents are rather frivolous about human vices and weaknesses, and as a result, they quickly become addicted to alcohol and drugs, turning them from a source of oriented behavior (curiosity) into an object of their needs. Often, the use of psychoactive substances in the company of friends who are significant and authoritative for the child turns into a form of self-affirmation, drowning out the inner feeling of losing oneself, of one's personal crisis.

Teenagers are very curious about sexual relations. Where the internal brakes are weak, where the sense of responsibility for oneself and another is poorly developed, a readiness for sexual contacts with representatives of the opposite, and sometimes of the same sex, breaks through. A high degree of stress before and after sexual intercourse is a powerful test for the human psyche. First sexual impressions can have an impact on the adult sexual life. On the basis of unsuccessful experiences, many can acquire neuroses. Another problem can be sexually transmitted diseases.

All these forms of the new life of adolescents place a heavy burden on the psyche. The tension from the uncertainty of life in a new quality ("smoker", "sexual partner", "party leader", etc.) pushes many adolescents into a state of acutely experienced crisis.

Separately, it should be noted the adolescent crisis associated with spiritual growth and changes in mental status. Reflection on the inner world and deep dissatisfaction with oneself appear. The discrepancy between the previous ideas about oneself and the current image. Dissatisfaction with oneself can be so strong that obsessive states appear: irresistible depressing thoughts about oneself, doubts, fears.

Not every teenager, however, goes through such an ordeal of mental crisis. And those who pass, for the most part, get out of it on their own: loved ones often do not know about the emotional storms of their dear children.

Considering the crisis of adolescence as one of the most important and difficult critical periods of development, the most adequate is the traditional idea that the course of the age crisis goes through three phases:

1) negative, or pre-critical, when old habits, stereotypes are broken, the structures formed earlier are disintegrated;

2) the culmination point of the crisis (in adolescence - this is 13 years old, although this point, of course, is rather arbitrary);

3) the post-critical phase, i.e. the period of the formation of new structures, the construction of new relationships, etc.

Possible two paths of flow crisis:

Symptoms of the first - these are the classic symptoms of almost any of the crises of childhood: obstinacy, stubbornness, negativism, self-will, underestimation of adults, a negative attitude towards their previously fulfilled demands, protest-rebellion. Some authors also add jealousy to property. For a teenager, the requirement is not to touch anything on his desk, not to enter his room, and most importantly - "not to get into his soul." A keenly felt experience of one's own inner world is the main property that a teenager guards and jealously protects from others.

Second waythe opposite: it is excessive obedience, dependence on the elders or the strong, a return to old interests, tastes, and forms of behavior.

If the “crisis of independence” is a certain leap forward, going beyond the old norms and rules, then the “crisis of dependence” is a return back to that position, to that system of relations that guaranteed emotional well-being, a sense of confidence, and security. Both are variants of self-determination (although, of course, unconscious or insufficiently conscious). In the first case it is: "I am no longer a child", in the second - "I am a child and I want to remain so."

The positive meaning of the adolescent crisis lies in the fact that through it, through the struggle for emancipation, for their own independence, which takes place in relatively safe conditions and does not take extreme forms, the adolescent satisfies the needs for self-knowledge and self-assertion, he not only has a sense of self-confidence and the ability to rely on himself, but also forms of behavior that allow him to continue to cope with life's difficulties. This gives reason to believe that it is the path of the "crisis of independence" that is the most constructive form of the course of the crisis from the point of view of the possibilities inherent in it for the formation of a personality. At the same time, the most extreme manifestations of the “crisis of independence” are often unproductive.

"The crisis of dependence" is a rather unfavorable development option. It is important to take into account that adolescents who are going through a crisis, as a rule, do not cause anxiety in adults, on the contrary, parents are often proud that they have managed to maintain normal, from their point of view, relationships, i.e. relationship of the "adult - child" type.

Of course, adolescence should not be viewed from a crisis angle. But knowledge of the crisis is necessary in order to help the adolescent to fully realize the possibilities of this period, to develop effective, constructive ways to overcome difficulties, which, from the point of view of modern psychology, is important for solving the main problems of development during this period.

Parents have heard a lot about adolescence, so when a child approaches a dangerous threshold, they try to prepare for it as much as possible. The crisis of 13 years manifests itself especially brightly and impulsively, when conversations begin in a raised voice, slamming doors, partying until midnight in incomprehensible companies and other problems.

How to behave in conflict situations, not to break the wood and not harm the fragile child's psyche? The advice of psychologists will help, for the implementation of which supernatural forces will not be needed.

Causes

Why does the maximum boiling point of the adolescent crisis come at exactly 13 years old?

Development of self-awareness

In adolescence, self-awareness improves and forces the child to make increased demands on both himself and the people around him. However, they are often impracticable. On the one hand, this leads to the formation of internal complexes, since children are not yet ready to take responsibility for their actions. On the other hand, relations with relatives, loved ones and friends are deteriorating.

Parental (teacher) control

Considering himself an adult, a 13-year-old wants more freedom. It seems to him that he will cope with difficulties without outside help, that he can make the right decisions. But the practical skill has not yet been worked out, there is no experience. Therefore, when some prohibitions come from the parents (teachers), the child defiantly violates them, but at the same time finds himself in a funny or dangerous situation. Adults get angry because of open resistance and try to prove to children that they are still small, by which they offend them and only exacerbate the crisis.

Desire to assert yourself

At the age of 13, like no other age, the child is seized by a real thirst for self-affirmation. He wants to stand out from the rest in all micro-collectives: in the class, in the family, in the section, among friends, even on public transport. There is a striving for false ideals, adjusting to them their already partially formed character. When nothing happens in the end, self-criticism, self-flagellation and self-deprecation begins. At the age of 13, they take catastrophic turns: dissatisfied with their appearance, studies, achievements, adolescents often commit suicide.

Puberty

Puberty entails a complete transformation of the body. This leads to a change (most often it decreases), the formation of internal complexes. The first timid attempts to establish contacts with representatives of the opposite sex are observed. Failure in these matters (unhappy love, parting) leads to trauma and suicide. The behavior of a teenager is strongly influenced by an unstable hormonal background. It is because of him that they become emotionally unbalanced.

Signs

In some adolescents, the symptoms of a crisis of 13 years old are absent or weakly expressed, in others, a radical change in behavior is observed.

Relationships with others:

• conflicts;
• opposing yourself to everyone else;
• hostility;
• priority - communication with peers (run away from home, do not want to spend time with their family);
• passion for virtual communication;
• the desire for loneliness, isolation from people (they lock themselves in their room and sit there for several hours);
• confidential conversations heart to heart with one or two favorites selected from the environment.

Behavior:

• emotional imbalance;
• frequent violations of discipline and prohibitions (refuse to do housework);
• mood swings;
• irascibility, impulsivity;
• dissatisfaction, irritation, gloom.

Internal state:

• an increased level of anxiety, anxiety;
• self-doubt;
• internal complexes;
• increased requirements for yourself (especially for your appearance);
• restructuring of the value system;
• thoughts of suicide;
• intrapersonal conflicts;
• intensive development of self-reflection;
• increased sensitivity to criticism;
• keeping a personal diary.

Cognitive Abilities:

• development of abstract logical thinking;
• mechanical performance of exercises according to a given scheme remains at a high level, but not everyone can cope with creative tasks (write an essay, develop a project);
• passion for music, philosophy, psychology, love stories and adventures;
• decrease in educational indicators;
• change of hobbies and hobbies.

Development psychology calls negativism the main neoplasm of the 13-year-old crisis. The teenager perceives everything that happens, everyone around him and himself in a black light, negatively and constantly criticizes. This is due to the formation of self-reflection: he begins to evaluate his own abilities, personal qualities, shortcomings and opportunities against the background of others.

According to statistics, in 20% of cases, adolescent negativism is acutely and painfully manifested by emotional uncontrolled outbursts in almost all areas of life. At the same time, the child may completely drop out of the family or school for several weeks or months. In 20% of children, it is completely absent. 60% of 13-year-olds are potential negativists. They begin to object and conflict only in response to a challenge from the outside (unfair assessments from the teacher, betrayal of a friend, exorbitant prohibitions and restrictions in the family).

Timing

The crisis of 13 years is a rather conventional and general name. Both the physical and emotional-mental development of a teenager is purely individual. Therefore, a difficult period may begin in a child earlier or later than the designated age.

Early (12-13 years old)

It is observed most often in girls, who both in body and soul grow up earlier than boys. On the one hand, it is easier to overcome stubbornness and conflict at this age, since the authority of adults is still strong. On the other hand, it is much more difficult to talk to them, since they fixate on their own independence and cease to adequately perceive criticism, prohibitions and rules.

Late (13-14 years old)

The development of self-reflection at this stage proceeds more smoothly. The child is already able to partially perceive the assessments and criticism from others. However, adults must make sure that they are objective and that the teenager understands them correctly. If a boy, in order to assert himself, says in front of everyone to a 14-year-old girl that she is fat, although in fact she does not have problems with being overweight, the matter may end. Therefore, parents should notice in a timely manner whether a pathological complex is being formed that can ruin the whole life with incorrect behavior patterns.

The crisis lasts for everyone in different ways. For someone, in a smoothed form, it manifests itself in emotional outbursts throughout all 3 years (from 12 to 14). Some have an acute but short-term form. A teenager can leave home, join an informal group, not go to school, but within 5-6 months such demonstrative protests usually subside and everything returns to normal.

How to behave

An age crisis of 13 years does not require treatment. The need for psychotherapeutic help or consultation with a psychologist arises only in extreme situations when the adolescent's behavior gets out of control and is fraught with serious consequences for personal development. In such cases, group and autogenic trainings are conducted, aimed at the formation of self-reflection and adequate self-acceptance.

First of all, experts give advice to parents on how to behave with teenagers 13 years old so that the crisis proceeds without complications:

1. Find compromises in communication.
2. Look for "points of contact" of interests.
3. Establish uniform rules of conduct at home, which must be followed by all family members (have dinner at the same table, be at home at 9 pm).
4. Involve the teenager in family affairs. Ask and take into account his opinion. Delegate some of the household chores.
5. Be patient and stay calm. Speak confidently and with restraint.
6. Take an interest in the hobbies of a teenager.
7. Praise, reward for achievements.
8. Spend more time with him.
9. Remain an authority, but at the same time establish a relationship of trust.
10. Constantly be in touch with teachers, class teacher, school psychologist.

10 "no": a memo for parents

1. Get into conflict.
2. Throw phrases: “You’re still small,” “You don’t understand anything,” “Don't teach me,” “If you grow up, then you’ll have the right to swing,” “Eggs don’t teach a chicken,” etc.
3. Giving indulgences, giving in, satisfying whims.
4. To impose your point of view, to order, to demand wordless obedience, without giving the right to choose.
5. Screaming, raising your voice, breaking into hysterics.
6. Beat, swing, physically punish.
7. To humiliate, belittle dignity, not notice achievements, criticize.
8. Move away, fail to fulfill promises, refuse a request or advice, citing employment.
9. Deprive communication with peers.
10. Encroach on personal space (check the phone, social networks, read correspondence).

It will be much easier to survive the crisis for 13 years if the parents adhered to a competent upbringing system before its onset. By this age, the child must already clearly learn certain rules of behavior in the family and society, acquire communication skills. Yes, impulsive teenage outbreaks are inevitable, but they normally subside quickly without consequences.

Therefore, psychologists strongly advise parents at the age of 8-11 to constantly work on raising children, help in the formation of a system of values, and monitor their level of self-esteem. And the most important thing is to pay enough attention to them, to build trusting relationships. With such prevention, no adolescent crisis will be a threat to either side.

Effects

If a teenager who is deeply experiencing the vivid manifestations of a 13-year-old crisis is not helped, it can negatively affect health and personal development. The most common complications:

• emotional and behavioral disorders;
• neuroses (diagnosed most often in girls);
• the formation of accentuations, psychopathy and pathological drives (usually observed in boys);
• isolation up to autism;
• the development of persistent suspicious, hysterical character traits;
• participation in informal gangs, which leads to juvenile delinquency and vagrancy;
• suicide.

So there are still serious dangers to health and personal development, and the task of parents is to avoid them by all means. Those who find it difficult to overcome the 13-year-old crisis should more often recall the words of the American writer Mignon McLaughlin: “The child who is most difficult to cope with is the one we are most proud of later on”.

It is extremely difficult to build a constructive dialogue with a teenager. Rudeness, emotional blackmail, provocative behavior - these are the most common reactions of a child, even to “harmless” comments from parents. There is a misunderstanding in the family, everyone harbors deep grievances. But is transitional age always so painful? In the article, we will raise an important topic: how can parents and a child go through this difficult crisis period with the least losses.

Adolescence: features of child development

In psychology, the adolescent crisis is considered the most difficult stage of growing up for every person. During this period, the child overcomes the border between childhood and maturity, which radically changes his worldview. Hence all the changes in the behavior of a teenager - yesterday he was a cute baby, and today it seems like he got mad.

The adolescent crisis starts at the age of 11-12 and lasts until the age of 17-18. And he, despite all the negative manifestations, has an important function - the child looks for himself in this world, understands his own feelings, sets priorities, actively accumulates experience of social life. Fleeing from the crisis only retards the development of a person. Young people who have gone through this difficult period with dignity become stronger and more self-confident, acquire the ability to control their own destiny.

The "hormonal explosion" inherent in the adolescent crisis is accompanied by vivid external manifestations - intensive growth and puberty. This largely influences the behavior of the child. Let's outline the main features of the adolescent crisis:

• Extremely critical of one's own appearance, which develops shyness and self-doubt.
• Sharpness and categoricalness in dealing with adults.
• Either rudeness or benevolence due to sudden mood swings.
• Shows a keen interest in sexual topics.
• Breaking parental taboos is the first experience of drinking and smoking.
• Showy indifference to everything around.
• Building personal boundaries and keeping a certain distance with parents.
• Depressive states.
• Poor school performance as there are many distractions around - falling in love, new friends and interests.

It is not always that a child shows all the "symptoms" of a crisis of adolescence. So, according to psychologists, there are 2 main ways of its course.

1. Independence crisis

The most common form of adolescent crisis. In this case, the child becomes a real rebel - obstinate, disobedient, stubborn, headstrong. His behavior and attitude to the world around him become a kind of leap forward, going beyond the "children's" norms and rules. A teenager in all available ways declares to the world: "I am already an adult, and now everything will be my way."

1. Addiction crisis

In this case, the adolescent's behavior also changes, but in a completely opposite direction than rebellion. The child shows excessive obedience, dependence on parents or their older friends. It is as if there is a regression in emotional development, a rollback to childish forms of behavior. A child is scared to enter adulthood, and he tries with all his might to stay in that period of life where he feels safe "under the wing" of adults.

According to psychologists, adolescents often take an ambivalent position, that is, they show symptoms of both a crisis of independence and a crisis of addiction. But in order to help the child, it is important to understand exactly which signs of the problem scenario dominate.

Stages of the adolescent crisis

Psychologist and teacher L. S. Vygotsky devoted many scientific works to the themes of adolescent crisis. He considered this period in a child's life to be the most significant, original foundation in the development of personality. According to LS Vygotsky, the adolescent crisis smoothly passes through 3 phases.

Phase 1 - pre-critical (negative)

The child begins to “break the system” by changing his behavior. This is a crisis of early adolescence. A child from 11 years old probes the boundaries of what is permissible, tries to get out of the care of parents, changes old habits, begins to look at what is happening around in a new way.

Phase 2 - culmination

L. S. Vygotsky marks the culmination point of the adolescent crisis - 13 years. Starting from this age, the child's behavior changes dramatically, and not always for the better. The teenager acts unpredictably and reacts sharply to all the processes taking place around him. Mood swings and unwillingness to learn badly affect (memory, attention, thinking), if you do not work with this, it may be difficult for a child to enter and study in a higher educational institution in the future.

3 phase - post-critical

At this stage of the age crisis, the teenager is already coming to terms with changes in himself. He tries to bring together the accumulated experience and learns to find compromises with his own "I". Albeit not without difficulty, but the teenager got the basics of communication with peers and elders. He understands what is "good" and "bad". With a successful outcome of the age crisis, the child is quite ready to move into adulthood.

Causes of the adolescent crisis

The defiant behavior of the child, according to psychologists, may be associated with his fears and self-doubt. The reasons for the adolescent crisis do not lie in the fact that he wants conflict as such. The child tries to sort out his own thoughts and convey his beliefs to others:

1. "I'm already an adult"

Rebellion is the easiest way for a teenager to achieve equal rights, to prove their worth, to expand the boundaries of what is permitted. The child considers himself an adult and wants to make decisions on his own. And of course, his interests are faced with harsh parental criticism. Mom and Dad are not ready to admit that their baby has grown up and really has the right to openly express his opinion. Hence the numerous problems arising from the adolescent crisis.

1. "Who am I?"

Until the age of 10-11, the child actively learns the world around him. But then everything changes - now the teenager's gaze is more inward. He begins to "dig" in his thoughts, tries to find his purpose in this world, to take certain positions in society. This is the so-called adolescent identity crisis. It is psychologically difficult for a child to survive.

The process of becoming aware of oneself requires solitude. That is why many adolescents become silent and withdrawn, limit their communication with their parents. Children are afraid that adults will not understand them. This is one of the main reasons that can push a child to run away from home and vagrancy.

1. "This is my territory"

All teenagers jealously guard their personal territory. They try to delineate boundaries that parents cannot cross. The child considers the life views of mom and dad "outdated" and therefore not worthy of attention. The teenager, with the help of building personal boundaries, tries to protect himself from criticism of his parents and life difficulties.

1. "I have my own opinion"

In the age crisis associated with adolescence, a tough logic takes over the mind of a teenager. He needs unambiguous answers to important questions. The child's critical thinking is not yet sufficiently developed, so the world around him seems to be bipolar - black or white, with a complete absence of halftones. While a teenager is not able to understand the complex palette of relationships between people. Many life processes do not fit into his picture of the world, where only good and evil rule. This provokes numerous conflicts with peers and parents. Also, a teenager can quarrel with a friend “forever” or be completely disappointed in something.

Features of the adolescent crisis in girls and boys

For girls and boys, the adolescent crisis proceeds in different ways. What are the characteristics of this difficult period of growing up?

Teenage Crisis in Girls

“My daughter is 12 years old. And over the last year she has changed a lot, I literally don't recognize my girl.

There are no problems with school performance. But I know that boys appeared in their girlish company. And now all the daughter's thoughts are occupied only with love affairs. Of course, it seems stupid to me, but I see how my girl is worried. She became withdrawn, constantly crying. All my questions are answered that "everything is fine." But I can see that she is worried. She often began to say that she was ugly. Previously, she could even go to school disheveled, but now she spends hours in front of the mirror.

She recently decided to go on a diet, eating practically nothing. But what can be a diet if it is already thin. I am afraid that the "hunger strikes" will undermine her health. I suspect that this is all in order to please the boys. "

Irina, 40 years old

According to psychologists, girls enter the developmental crisis of adolescence a little earlier. It starts at 10-11 years old and ends at 16-17 years old. At the same time, the crisis is proceeding "softer".

Teenage girls are much less likely to show negativism, latent or passive aggression. This is largely due to the fact that they are extremely acutely experiencing internal conflict due to the realization that they violate generally accepted norms of behavior that are attributed to women. Most girls tend to have tight control over their behavior in adolescent crisis - they try to behave in the right way so as not to displease adults.

Another distinguishing feature of the difficult age crisis in adolescence in girls is the fact that they are often fixated on imperfections in their appearance. Girls are looking for all sorts of ways to achieve the unattainable ideal of beauty. And often these methods do not justify the goal at all, undermining health, for example, rigid diets. And the girl's bright, provocative makeup, with which she is trying to "decorate" herself, is completely inappropriate in middle and high school.

Some adolescent girls demonstrate negativism with a socially significant orientation - they try to protect the rights of others, protect close friends from trouble.

Boys' teenage crisis

“My son is 15 years old and is entering high school. For a couple of years now, we have been fighting together with his teenage crisis. The son makes us such riots that we are already going crazy.

Constant partying and playing at the computer is another half of the trouble. He learns from under the stick. But very soon to enter the university. Along with academic performance, discipline at school is also “lame”. I am constantly called to the director, because my son starts fights and is rude to teachers.

My husband and I have tried everything - and calmly talked with our son, and the houses were locked, and gadgets were deprived. Nothing helps".

Marina, 38 years old

In boys, the psychological crisis of adolescence begins at 11-12 years old and ends at 17-18 years old. It often proceeds very violently. The fact is that young men are already beginning to develop an idea of ​​the male type of behavior. But these are not always correct behavioral attitudes - the boy tries to solve many problems by force, showing aggression. The other extreme is a complete withdrawal into oneself and distance from loved ones in order to hide their true feelings, because it is believed that "a man should not show emotions." And in adolescence, given how much hormones "rebel", it is difficult to hide your feelings - it is easier to become a "loner".

Boys more calmly perceive their own manifestations of aggression, having an attitude that such behavior is characteristic of men, if necessary. No regret or reflection. Adolescents often attribute their outbursts of rage to external factors - “I’m not to blame, this is how the circumstances are”.

Adolescent negativism

Negativism is a negative attitude towards the outside world, manifested in a negative assessment of people and their actions.

Negativism is especially pronounced among adolescents just in the age crisis. Considering the immaturity of the child's personality and his black-and-white picture of the world, he perceives many life situations extremely negatively. The child becomes stubborn, withdrawn, rude, even aggressive, every now and then violates discipline at school. But this is only an outer shell - negativism becomes a kind of armor that covers the many fears of a child on the verge of growing up. In fact, negativism is a teenager's reaction to some kind of unsatisfied personal need. For example, a lack of respect, understanding and love on the part of parents and close environment.

According to psychologists, negativism in adolescents largely depends on the environment in which it grows. If a child is brought up in a family with constant conflicts, where disrespect for each other and aggression rule, a negative attitude towards the surrounding reality will sooner or later manifest itself.

Psychologists divide adolescent negativism into passive and active. A passive negativist does not reread openly, he simply ignores all the requests, demands and remarks of the parents. The specificity of active negativism lies in the fact that a teenager throws all his strength into contradicting adults - doing the opposite of what he is asked to do.

Difficult teenager: what should parents do?

How well the pubertal crisis of adolescence will pass depends on the characteristics of the child himself and the foundations of upbringing that the parents laid down. The position of the inner circle is of no less importance. Despite the fact that the "prickly" teenager shows his negativism to everyone and everything, he needs support more than ever. Don't push your child away; help him sort out his own feelings and enter adulthood with a solid foundation.

Parents, when solving the numerous problems accompanying the age crisis in adolescents, have to be patient so as not to spoil the relationship with the child. What recommendations will help?

1. Learn to competently resolve conflicts with your child

Strict prohibitions and punishments, emotional blackmail, sharp criticism, the imposition of one's own opinion - all this does not work in the upbringing of a teenager. It is important for parents to learn effectively. Only a trusting dialogue and a sincere desire to help. Listen, teach, give advice.

2. Respect your teen's privacy

Despite the fact that you have every right to give advice and guidance to your child, respect his personal space and do not impose your opinion on certain issues. To avoid ruining your relationship with your teen, stick to the boundaries that he has set. Knock on the door before entering the child's room, do not read his correspondence on the phone and in social networks, do not ask too actively about friends. Even these seemingly insignificant changes in your behavior will make the child understand that you are not encroaching on his personal life.

This does not mean that you need to let the life of a teenager take its course. Continue to monitor his time and performance at school. But it shouldn't look like an encroachment on freedom.

3. Treat your teen like an adult

It's time to stop looking at your child as a toddler. The teenager is old enough to make certain decisions. Give him some freedom of action and respect his desire to do "adult" actions.

Everyone, even a child, has the right to make mistakes. It develops personality and helps to gain life experience.

4. Don't discount your teen's experiences.

A teenager perceives literally every event in his life very sharply. Help him to painlessly get out of conflicts with friends and support when he fails. Seeing that you care, the child will become more confident and will listen to your advice, which is extremely important.