How to manipulate a person. Ways to manipulate human consciousness
Intelligence agents, psychologists, politicians, specialists from special business structures, and sometimes simple people use these mind manipulation techniques to achieve their goals.
Most often, the victim does not even suspect that he is being targeted. The most persistent ones give in easily and do everything you need from them.
We have prepared for you a description of these techniques, as well as technologies for protecting against each method of manipulation. Be careful! Add to yourself so you don’t get caught!
- Methods:
1. manipulation of feelings of guilt or resentment.
Using resentment or feelings of guilt is one of the surest methods of manipulating a loved one. The image of the unfortunate victim often gives its bearer “Dividends” in the form of unspoken powers and reparations. It happens that a person lives in the role of a victim for years and has already gotten used to it, but in those around him he no longer evokes sympathy and a desire to help, but, on the contrary, provokes irritation and even aggression.
Because in fact, no matter how strange it sounds, it is the victim who always ends up at the top of the pyramid in the family system. Such a person influences others through their feelings of guilt. Over time, people involved in this game begin to directly or semi-consciously understand this manipulation and respond to it with aggression.
- Antidote.
It is best to develop a family rule to forget grievances. And do not remember each other’s past sins during family quarrels. It won't lead to anything good anyway. If your partner has offended you in some way, it is better to immediately discuss this issue. In a civilized and correct manner, without judging either what is happening or the partner.
Clarify the situation and adjust the rules of interaction to reduce the likelihood of a similar situation reoccurring. Let's say metaphorically: write down grievances in the sand, and carve joys in marble and granite. Make this the norm for your family and see how much easier and happier your life will become.
2. manipulation of anger.
There are people who lose their temper to force you to give in to them. These are manipulators who use what is called tactical anger.
- Antidote.
The worst thing is to follow the lead of such a person. After all, if his technique works, he will continue to do the same with you and others in the future. First, you will need your determination: you must not give in or allow yourself to be shouted at. Only if the manipulator continues to scream, leave. Continue to behave this way in any subsequent confrontations when he is angry, until the angry opponent learns to behave rationally with you.
With regard to your own anger, which you will also often be provoked into, it is worth developing a conscious position and rules in advance. Remember that when you are angry, you may even be able to say your most best speech. But there is a high probability that you will regret it later and will regret it for the rest of your life.
3. manipulation of silence.
People resort to significant silence when they want to show how upset they are. Otherwise, in their opinion, you will think that the problem is not important to them. People who often resort to silence over minor issues create an unpleasant atmosphere that can ruin work relationships. The silence is designed to make you feel guilty when you realize how upset the person is.
- Antidote.
Try to refrain from playing along with the Pouty One, because if it works once, the silent one will resort to a similar technique all the time. But don't be harsh with him; act as if everything is normal. Wait, let him break the silence himself. If you have discussions with a silent person, listen to him with an open mind. Explain to him in a friendly and reasonable manner what your point of view is based on.
Even if your interlocutor continues to sulk after your story, you will know that you did your best. You did not retreat only to avoid silence, the purpose of which is to force you to capitulate.
4. manipulation of love.
“If you love, then.” This manipulation is designed for close people who have a positive attitude towards the manipulator. The fear of being rejected and losing love has been strong in people since childhood. Many parents imprudently tried to manipulate their child, saying, “If you don’t Listen to Me/Do what I Say, etc., then I will Stop Communicating with You/Loving You/Caring about You, etc.”
- Antidote.
Love is not a subject of bargaining, but the result of a relationship. When noticing the exploitation of your feelings, think about how much you need it.
5. manipulation of hope.
Brilliant promises often hide behind them the desire for the immediate benefit of their author. The fairytale promises of the cat Basilio and the fox Alice were dictated by their desire to quickly get the gold coins jingling in Pinocchio’s pocket. Often, such “Songs” lead more informed citizens to bury cash “in the field of miracles in the land of fools.”
- Antidote.
An Arabic proverb says: “The wise man trusts in his own works, but the foolish man trusts in his hope.” Trust facts, not opinions. When making decisions, rely on real experience, and not on someone else's stories or assumptions.
6. manipulation of vanity.
Little hooks that cling tightly to an overinflated ego may seem like an innocent comment. Praise used in the hope of achieving your goals: “You write excellent reports! Surely, no one can do a better job with the one I want to offer you!” Or, on the contrary, a Challenge with a Hint of Incompetence: “It’s weak.”, “ You probably couldn't - Antidote.
Remember, did you plan to do what was proposed before presenting the provocative proposal? Check whether your plans match your interests and capabilities.
7. manipulations with irony or sarcasm.
The manipulator initially chooses an ironic tone, critical statements and remarks, seasoned with jokes or provocative comments.
- Antidote: it is impossible to make yourself offended without your own participation. If you don’t believe me, try to be offended just like that, at nothing in particular. Only if you do not succumb to the manipulator’s provocations, realizing or reminding yourself of who and what you are dealing with, will you be able to maintain clarity of thought, precision of formulation and emotional balance.
What does it mean to manipulate a person? Manipulation is various methods of suggestion, influencing the opponent’s consciousness through the subconscious. Sometimes even to the point of hypnosis (for example, gypsy, psychotherapeutic hypnosis).
A person who knows how to manage people is a subtle psychologist by nature. He constantly empathizes with someone, but does not separate himself from his own personality at all. Knows those areas of the psyche that can be used to play one’s roles and introduce useful thoughts. Knows how to effortlessly force someone to do something that the interlocutor does not do according to at will. They know how to read non-verbal information in order to manipulate people.
With skillful manipulation, information reaches the opponent’s motivational sphere in a roundabout way - bypassing consciousness. The basic rule of how to manipulate people is that expressions are presented in a neutral form, or with emotional accompaniment that obscures main meaning. It lulls the feeling of criticism and protest. A conscious choice of words and their combination changes the perception of objective reality.
- sensible, with developed logical thinking; It’s not easy to inspire anything into such individuals. They have a weak point: love for convenience, well-being, comfort and security. This is manipulation at the level of needs;
- entertainment lovers are vulnerable targets, rationality and common sense they don’t have a priority;
- excessive materialists quickly succumb to ideas that promise profit;
- overly economical: they choose the cheapest and in large quantities.
- narcissists are susceptible to manipulation with the help of compliments and flattery;
- with clearly developed animal instincts - they are let down by the primitiveness of their needs: love for food, sleep, sexual relations;
- conscious intellectuals take the side of the manipulator in order to understand his point of view;
- With developed sense justice - it is enough for the manipulator to put pressure on the victim, focusing on conscience and a sense of duty;
- heightened feeling self-esteem- it is easy to convince such a person that he deserves more;
- greedy people succumb to tempting offers and promises;
- elderly - such people are often gullible because they are not adapted to the framework of the new time and live in the circumstances of previous, more open conditions.
By manipulating people we need to understand a whole range of techniques for influencing the consciousness of other people. In fact, this is a whole art that assumes that the manipulating person (manipulator), understanding the intricacies of the human psyche, finds individual approach to any person. At the same time, he constantly forms a new image of himself in order to achieve his goals. Many people, unfortunately, do not even think that there are a huge number of manipulation techniques and techniques, and that with their help they are “managed” almost every day. This happens because manipulations, as a rule, are characterized by secrecy. Few people are able to master all the methods, but even a few are enough to direct the actions of a particular person in the right direction.
The manipulator must have an understanding of personality types and be sensitive to the mood and emotional state of people. And any of us can fall under the influence of such a person. But the difference in suggestibility (we are more or less influenced) depends on individual characteristics. There are even those who simply cannot be manipulated. Most often, these are very strong and insightful natures with specific mental properties. And manipulators try not to get involved with them, because all their hidden intentions immediately become clear.
Any manipulator is to a certain extent a psychologist, because he determines the “potential” of the victim, his weak spots, advantages and disadvantages of character and temperament. And as soon as the weak point is found, he begins to influence it. Such a point could be emotional condition, a state of falling in love, attachment, resentment, interest or belief. The main task of the manipulator is to determine what exactly is a point. The media are guided in their activities by similar principles (mass manipulation), public figures, politicians and others dignitaries acting out of selfish interests.
By the way, in a very accessible form, Tatyana Vasilyeva, a trainer at the Equator company, talks about what manipulation is. Watch the video, after which we will talk about what psychology tells us about the manipulation of people.
Basics of psychology of manipulation. Psychological techniques for manipulating the mental consciousness of a person and the masses
The art of manipulating people. How to learn to manipulate people
Some individuals have the gift of manipulation from an early age - in childhood, most of us do this unconsciously, over time either forgetting about such skills, or developing and improving them. What does it mean to manipulate a person? Literally, this means direct or indirect influence that forces a person to act according to the manipulator’s plan.
Is it worth learning about such influence? Absolutely yes. The technique of inserting into the human subconscious allows you to inspire people with what you want, without using anything other than communication. In addition, knowledge of possible techniques of this kind protects against unconscious submission to other individuals. The art of manipulating people is easy for some, but quite difficult for others, it all depends on the individual character traits of the potential manipulator.
Methods, techniques and methods of manipulation. (Modern psychotechnologies of manipulation)
Methods of counteraction may be different, depending on the skills of the object of manipulation. For example, as a result of “adjustment” (the so-called calibration in NLP), you can first stage in yourself a state of mind similar to that of the manipulator, and after calming down, calm the manipulator. Or, for example, you can show your calmness and absolute indifference to the manipulator’s anger, thereby confusing him and therefore depriving him of his manipulative advantage. You can sharply increase the pace of your own aggressiveness using speech techniques simultaneously with a light touch of the manipulator (his hand, shoulder, arm...), and additional visual influence, i.e. V in this case we seize the initiative, and by simultaneously influencing the manipulator with the help of a visual, auditory and kinesthetic stimulus, we introduce him into a state of trance, and therefore dependence on you, because in this state the manipulator himself becomes the object of our influence, and we can enter into his subconscious has certain attitudes, because It is known that in a state of anger, any person is susceptible to coding (psychoprogramming). You can use other countermeasures. It should be remembered that in a state of anger it is easier to make a person laugh. You should know about this feature of the psyche and use it in time.
Manipulation is a hidden psychological technique with which you can force any person, I emphasize, anyone, to perform the actions you want against his will and interests. 
But this is the standard definition of manipulation. Let’s give this skill a broader and more practical definition. Manipulation is a psychological weapon that gives a person the same (and even greater) advantage over other people as other types of weapons. With the help of this weapon you can attack and capture, or you can defend and defend. It helps you survive and succeed. A good manipulator, that is, a person who skillfully masters hidden psychological techniques- much stronger than a man armed to the teeth. 
Why? Because he can motivate the most different people to the actions he needs and thus solve any problems and tasks. And what problems and tasks can a person armed with a weapon, as we understand it, be able to solve? Only a few, right? The power of a weapon has its limitations. But manipulations have no restrictions. You can manipulate all people without exception, both the most ordinary and the most powerful and imperious. The only limitation is your own abilities. The more advanced your manipulation skills, the more big amount you can manipulate people. The manipulations themselves have no restrictions - any person can be manipulated.
He who masters the art of manipulation owns the world. Any intelligence agent, politician, media personality or psychologist will tell you this. And if there are those who study and use manipulation to influence the consciousness of the masses and control the psyche of individuals at a professional level, then there must be those who are fluent in the art of resisting sophisticated manipulators. Below are 5 particularly tricky techniques for manipulating people and ways to counter them. These techniques are often used by intelligence agencies, the media, politicians, business structures, advertisers, show business figures or ordinary people who ceased to be such when they reached the level of God in manipulation.
Method 1. Emotional contagion
This technique is often used by politicians, businessmen, actors, and television people. It is designed to bypass the censorship of the human psyche, which builds barriers to the penetration of unwanted, unimportant or unnecessary information into the consciousness. In this case, the manipulative influence is aimed at feelings through emotional infection. By imparting vivid emotions to the information, you can easily reach a person’s heart, put pressure on his reflexes and instincts, and thereby force the “test subject” to experience the storm of passions that the manipulator needs. You can observe this technique in action in advertising, reality shows, election campaigns, sales and other situations that require emotional arousal of people.
Anti-manipulation: Be aware and be aware of what goals are pursued by people who spin you on emotions. Always keep your own goal in mind, and if the offered service, product, entertainment, promise certainly satisfies it, consider the emotional contagion a pleasant bonus. If the actions of the supposed manipulators lead away from your true intention, then the manipulators are real. Stop and take a break to make a decision without pressure.
Method 2. Hidden commands for action
Clever manipulators hide their command in the request, allowing the person to think that he himself is in control of the situation. A clear example could become a Zen Buddhist parable.
The Zen teacher Bankei, through wise conversations, attracted adherents of various sects into the circle of his followers, making them sincere and constant listeners. Dissatisfied with this circumstance, the priest of the Nichiren sect once came to Bankei during a conversation with his students, and said with ridicule:
- Bankei! Only those who respect you listen to you and obey your words. And I don't respect you! Make me obey you!
- Fine! Come closer and I'll show you that I can do it easily.
Nichiren walked arrogantly through the crowd of students and stood to the left, as the Zen teacher indicated with his hand.
“Not at all,” Bankei corrected himself. - Stand on the right. This way you will better see the essence of what is happening.
The priest obeyed with the same arrogance.
- Do you see? – Bankei turned to him again. “You obey me, and I haven’t even begun to present my arguments.” I'm sure you're thin and deep man. Sit in the circle of my students and listen.
Anti-manipulation: You must have your own clear “frame of reference”, which you can rely on even in unconscious decision-making. Established principles, beliefs, and life credo will provide your “backbone” with a core against which manipulators will break their teeth.
Method 3: Discussion Avoidance Tactics
This manipulation technique uses resentment or blame as a psychological weapon. the main objective– disrupt the discussion, which leads to an undesirable outcome for the manipulator. He provokes a conflict in order to irritate the interlocutor, arouse destructive emotions in him and turn the discussion into a quarrel that leads away from the topic under discussion. The manipulator can use the following tricks: rude interruption of the opponent’s speech, raised tone, neglect, unwillingness to listen, disrespect. His provocative phrases may sound like this: “It is impossible to have constructive conversations with you - you only hear yourself!”, “Your demonstrative behavior makes the continuation of our conversation impossible!”, “I would enter into an intellectual duel with you, but it seems you are unarmed !”, “I do not intend to cherish your complexes! Calm your nerves - let's continue the conversation!
Anti-manipulation: Your main weapon is emotional calm. Respond to any attacks calmly, remembering that they can be provocations. The manipulator will remain “on the nose” if you leave his carefully thought-out and rehearsed speech without reaction (no answer, excuses, fussiness, etc.)
Method 4. Psychological “aikido”
This technique underlies the principle of perceptual contrast. The manipulator feeds necessary information in contrast to events, achieving a change in the opponent’s beliefs and his positive reaction to circumstances. An ideal example A letter published by psychologist Robert Cialdini in his book The Psychology of Influence may serve as a guide.
He is a wonderful guy, we fell in love and are getting married. We haven't appointed yet the exact date, but the wedding will take place before my pregnancy becomes noticeable. Yes, mom and dad, I'm pregnant. The reason for the delay in our marriage is that my friend caught a minor infection, which prevents me from taking premarital blood tests, and I inadvertently contracted the infection from him...
Now that I've told you what happened, I want to tell you that there was no fire in the dorm, I wasn't in the hospital, I'm not pregnant, I'm not engaged, I'm not infected, and I don't have a fiancé. However, I get low scores on American history and bad grades in chemistry and I want you to look at these grades with wisdom and leniency. Your loving daughter Sharon."
Anti-manipulation: “He who has no criticism has no head!” - says English wisdom. Learn to approach everything critically. In this case, influencing you will be much more difficult and dangerous. Remember your value system, chosen positions, long-term priorities and always correlate them with the information received under the influence of manipulators.
Method 5. Herd instinct
The main goal of the manipulator who chooses this method is to force his opponent to adhere to the opinion of the masses. He can lead to this with the following phrases: “Everything normal people that’s what they do!”, “No sane person would argue with this!”, “What makes you better than others?!” etc. Thus, the aggressor influences the herd instinct inherent in every person at the genetic level. It is much easier to survive “in the herd”, and the opponent will instinctively begin to feel more confident when he acts like the majority of people from the social community to which he belongs. It is easy to manipulate those who want to live “like all normal people.”
Anti-manipulation: There is nothing worse than being like everyone else. Those who are afraid to step out from the crowd, to have their own opinion, to become a “black sheep” or a bright individual, have an average life. This time. Two - a signal from him in the form of generalizing marker words will help you avoid becoming a victim of a manipulator: everyone, no one, anyone, always, never, everywhere.
Video manipulation of people
How to manipulate people? Many people ask themselves this question, but not everyone knows the answer.
So now I will try to answer:
I want to warn you right away: in order to manipulate people you need to visualize what is written, that is, in order to understand how to manipulate people, it will be better if you watch a video on the utube channel on psychology: (by the way, a useful channel about human psychology)
Manipulating other people - great way get what you need: a promotion or a romantic adventure from your significant other. Regardless of your goal and objective, you will need to hone your manipulation skills, try different manipulation techniques, and learn how to manipulate people in different situations. life situations. If you don't want to put off learning this wonderful craft for a minute, then fasten your seat belts and take the following journey into the world of manipulation.
1. Right View
There is a special look that makes people reckon with you, recognize you as a strong opponent at the subconscious level.
This look can be useful in any controversial situation, when you want to declare that you are worth taking into account and you make the decisions here.
You need to look into the eyes, but not at the surface of the eye, but as if through it, looking into the soul. The result is a piercing gaze that declares your decisive attitude. And people feel it.
2. Energy break
To get what they want, people sometimes use the tactless question method when surrounded by other people. In private, you would not hesitate to refuse or answer negatively, but in public you are confused and may agree or answer so as not to seem greedy, secretive, etc.
To avoid falling for this bait, you can use the energy pause method. You look into the person's eyes as if you are about to respond. He prepares to accept your answer, but you don't answer.
You continue to look at him but don't say anything. He looks away in confusion, and then you start talking about something else. After such an incident, he will no longer try to force you to answer in public.
3. Pause and encouragement
Sometimes people try to demand something based solely on the intensity of their demand. That is, the person basically understands that his demand is unfounded, and you understand this.
Nevertheless, he actively and very emotionally demands something, hoping that you will give in, fearing conflict. If you support his tone or begin to object, a conflict will occur.
Instead, pause and encourage the person in a friendly manner to continue the conversation. Feeling supported, a person will stop getting excited and begin to speak more calmly.
But even after that, do not stop the silence, nod and encourage him to talk further. The person will begin to explain, then make excuses and, finally, apologize.
4. Eye protection
Of course, you are not the only one who uses some techniques, and not only consciously. It happens that people unconsciously feel what they need to do to achieve what they want, and they behave that way.
If you notice the gaze of your interlocutor, he may use some kind of technique on you psychological impact, it doesn’t matter whether consciously or not.
Remember: you are not obliged to play a staring contest with him by accepting the rules of his game. Look into his eyes, smile, letting him know that you noticed his gaze and you don't care, and look at other objects.
5. Overcome hostility
Life often confronts us with unpleasant people with whom we are simply forced to communicate and maintain good relations.
In order to maintain normal communication or get something from this person, you will have to really overcome your dislike for him. And not just putting on a fake smile, but imbued with sympathy and kindness.
How to do this if you are facing a scandalous, nasty guy?
Imagine him as a small child. If a child behaves badly, it means that he is embittered, unhappy or spoiled. In any case, the environment is to blame for this.
Basically, it's true, so you're not even fooling yourself. When you see this person as a child, you cannot be angry with him, and people always feel kindness and sympathy, and this disarms them.
6. Pressure
Many people put pressure on their employees, relatives and friends to get what they want. What it looks like from the outside: repeated repetition of the same demands - sometimes soft, sometimes hard, sometimes persistent and emotional, sometimes unobtrusive.
The main purpose of pressure is to deprive you of hope that the request or demand can be avoided.
The person makes you understand that you simply cannot do it differently; he will stand his ground until the very end.
What can you do about it? It helps to call a spade a spade. For example, you can immediately ask the person: “Are you putting pressure on me?” As a rule, a person then gets lost. Equally important is the ability to firmly say “no.”
7. The ability to say “no”
You must learn to say “no”, this will be very useful in the fight against various kinds manipulators, among whom may be not only obsessive partners, but also your friends or family.
You must learn to say exactly this word - “no”. Not “it won’t work,” or “I don’t know,” or “we’ll see,” but a firm “no.”
8. Don’t explain your refusal.
This is also a great skill that is acquired with experience. If you refused someone, said your firm “no”, be able to do without explanations and even more so without excuses.
At the same time, you should not feel guilty for refusing without explanation. People feel the inner mood, and if you hesitate within yourself, they will get comments from you and maybe even persuade you.
Again, it is not always a good idea to refuse without explanation, but there are times when it is necessary.
9. Position without evidence
In negotiations, evidence of correctness often plays a negative role. Rightness is a state that is transmitted at the level of sensations. You feel right and other people agree with you.
If you start to prove your position with arguments, this can destroy your confidence in the rightness.
Let's say you make one argument, and your interlocutor refutes it. If after this you give a second argument, it means that you agree that the first one was unsuccessful, and this means the loss of your positions and unshakable faith in your rightness.
10. Fix new role
If you take on a new role - head of a department, team captain, or some other - you need to immediately fix it, outlining your authority. Do as quickly as possible in your new role what you could not do in your previous role.
Give some order, make a decision, ask for an answer from your subordinates, and so on. The longer you wait to take on a new role, the more your rights may be reduced.
These ways to manage people and prevent yourself from being manipulated are only a small part of all the techniques of management art that change not only your communication style, but also your worldview. And you can acquire it by learning from professionals.
Recently, the problem of manipulating people, imposing other people’s opinions and views, and turning society into a thoughtless mass has been increasingly discussed on the Internet. Look At Me has compiled a shortlist of the most common techniques and rules that help persuade, win over, inspire and influence people in every possible way, as well as ways to protect yourself from social manipulation.
Social proof,
or the principle of social proof
In the Soviet Union, people first stood in line and only then wondered where it led. “If all these people are waiting, it means the product is good,” everyone thought. The very presence of a queue signaled the value of the product being offered. Thus, the principle of social proof was manifested in Soviet society. Based on the herd instinct, it consists of imitating the behavior of the majority and is a protective function of our brain, freeing the latter from the need to process unnecessary information. This is where the nature of the mainstream lies.
The principle of social proof works especially effectively when a person finds himself in a confusing or ambiguous situation, and he does not have time to really understand it. “In any unclear situation, do as everyone else does” - Social Proof solves all problems at once. When we want to buy a new gadget and are racking our brains over which model to choose, reviews and ratings are often the decisive criteria for us. The principle of social proof has deeply rooted itself in modern business. No more need to prove potential client, how good the product is, it is enough to note that the majority thinks so.
Today, marketers strongly recommend that owners of websites and various pages not advertise counters if the indicators on them are modest. A large number of subscribers - best sign quality and a reason to subscribe too. This also applies to site traffic.
Another painful example of using the principle of social proof is sketches and humorous series. Viewers often complain that they are annoyed by the background laughter after every joke. However, this does not affect the effectiveness of the method. People are accustomed to relying on the reactions of others when determining what is funny, and often react not to the joke, but to the off-screen laughter that accompanies it.
By the way, Social proof served as the basis for the emergence of some professions. For example, a claqueur is a person who comes to a performance for a certain fee, applauds the loudest and shouts “Bravo!”, or a classic example is mourners who “set the mood” at a funeral in Brazil or the Philippines.
Group reinforcement method
This technique in some places echoes the previous one, but, unlike it, it is focused on changing human beliefs rather than behavior. According to this principle, when repeating the same thesis many times (ideas, concepts) within a group, its members will eventually accept this statement as truth. American academic and writer Robert Carroll emphasizes that a repeated proposition does not have to be true. It will be believed no matter how theoretically or practically proven it is. Moreover, it is believed that people accept on faith, without critical evaluation, any group values, ideas, doctrines, if they identify themselves with this group and do not want to be branded as outcasts. This mental phenomenon and manifestation of conformity is called indoctrination. Phenomena opposite to indoctrination: “social autonomy”, “criticism”, “non-conformism”.
A colorful example of the work of the group reinforcement method are stereotypes, myths and legends that wander from generation to generation. In addition, the technique is actively used by the media and is effective means in information wars. With the help of clever manipulation of facts and various speech tricks, the media impose certain beliefs on us through the systematic repetition of the same thoughts. To combat such trends in learning programs Some countries are introducing a media education course designed to develop critical thinking in people of all ages.
Rule of reciprocity
The rule of reciprocity states that a person must repay what another person has given him. In simple words- respond kindly to kindness. And since any obligations are depressing, you want to get rid of them as quickly as possible. Therefore, the rule works and is actively used by some “initiates”. Such people may deliberately provide a small favor with the expectation that they will make a larger request in the future.
Fragment from the television series
"Force Majeure" (Suits)
People say: “they take advantage of someone’s kindness.” It is noteworthy that knowledge of the rule of reciprocal exchange does not free a person from the desire to repay his “debts”.
Fragment from the television series “The Mentalist”
Why do supermarkets give you free food to try? Why do various companies give out pens, notepads and other souvenirs to their guests? How to explain free promotions in bars and chewing gum after dinner in restaurants? Do employees want to please customers? No matter how it is.
Request
for help, or the Benjamin Franklin method
One day, Benjamin Franklin needed to establish contact with a person who openly disliked him. Then Benjamin turned to this man with a request to lend him rare book. Franklin was as polite as possible in his request and thanked the man with even greater politeness when he agreed. After this incident they became good friends.
The essence of the method of the same name is that people love when they are asked for help. Firstly, based on the rule of mutual exchange, a person thinks that, if necessary, he can count on a return service. Secondly, by helping, he feels needed and useful. And this, as they say, is priceless.
By the way, it is believed that in the beginning it is better to ask for more than you want to receive. If they suddenly refuse you, the next time you try, you can voice a real request, and this time it will be awkward to refuse.
Logical rule
chains
Psychologists have come to the conclusion that the desire to be or appear consistent in one’s actions is an innate characteristic of a person, which often forces him to go against his own interests.
The point is that in modern society consistency is considered a virtue. She is associated with honesty, intelligence, strength and stability. English physicist Michael Faraday said that consistency is valued more than being right. Inconsistent behavior is usually considered negative quality and is taken for duplicity.
In order to force a person to act in a certain way, it is necessary to launch a sequence mechanism in his thinking. Social psychologists call commitment the starting point in this mechanism. A person who has made a commitment (even if unconsciously) will do everything to fulfill it.
Let’s say, if a person is recognized as the best chess player in the city, after this incident he will train three times more, just to justify the obligation and status entrusted to him. The sequence mechanism is launched: “If I am like this, then I must do this, this and that...”.
Positive reinforcement
Positive reinforcement is a pleasant consequence for a person of his actions: praise, reward, or reward that encourages a person to perform those actions in the future.
Once a group of Harvard students conducted an interesting experiment. At one of the lectures, the guys agreed that when the teacher moved to one side of the hall, everyone would smile, and when he moved to the opposite side, everyone would frown. You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to guess in which part of the audience the lecturer spent most of the lesson. This experiment became known in history as the “Verplanck experiment” and became confirmation that positive feedback has an educational effect on a person.
According to the American psychologist Skinner, praise educates a person more effectively than punishment, which is more likely to harm the individual. Freud confirms his colleague’s theory and, in describing the pleasure principle, emphasizes that a person’s desire to receive positive emotions pushes him to perform actions that reinforce them and are thus associated with pleasure. Consequently, the absence of the “action - pleasure” chain deprives a person of motivation and desire to do something.
Motivation by fear
Aikido method
Peculiarity martial art Aikido is about using the opponent's strength against him. Adapted to the communication environment, this method is used in tense negotiations or conflict situations and implies returning his own aggression to the opponent in order to get what he wants from the interlocutor.
Newton's law states: the force of action is equal to the force of reaction. Therefore, than ruder man responds to the opponent, the more fiercely he defends his position, the more retaliatory aggression he receives. Main principle Aikido - winning by yielding. To persuade a person to your point of view, first of all you need to agree with him, and “mirror” his manner of speaking and demeaning himself. And then, in a calm tone, offer your own version of the development of events. Thus, a person retains his strength, does not irritate his opponent, and ultimately wins.
A slightly exaggerated example might look like this: “You are a fool. You're doing everything wrong. - Yes, I'm doing everything wrong, because I'm a fool. Let's try to find a way out of this situation together..."
Vertical principle
All famous world dictators convinced their opponents even before they began to speak. They knew how to position their body in space in such a way as to look like a “living argument” in the eyes of their interlocutor.
Firstly, they were always vertically one level above those they were talking to. There is a psychological explanation for this. The fact is that the subconscious initially perceives those who are higher as authorities. Our parents have always been above us. But they were our authorities for many years. This explains why many managers place chairs and desks in their offices so that they can look down on their subordinates.
Also, to our subconscious, a person who takes up a lot of space seems more convincing and right. Sweeping gestures, arms outstretched in a “T” shape on the back of a chair, or active movement around the room during a presentation - all this helps to embrace maximum amount space and grow in the eye of the beholder.
Built-in speech commands
Built-in speech commands help the initiator of communication create a certain mood in the recipient, evoke the desired emotion and, accordingly, direct his thoughts to given direction. An embedded message is a fragment of a phrase that is highlighted by gestures or intonation. In this case, the impact occurs on the subconscious of a person, who may not pay attention to the phrase itself.
Introducing positive language into your speech (words like “pleasant”, “good”, “happiness”, “success”, “trust”, etc.), we make the other person feel happier and more successful. It doesn’t matter what we are talking about and in what context these words are used, the main thing is to highlight them with intonation or gesture.
Spiral of Silence
In theory mass communication There is such a thing as a spiral of silence. Proposed by German political scientist Elisabeth Noel-Neumann, this concept boils down to the idea that people may share a certain point of view, but are afraid to admit it because they think they are in the minority. The spiral of silence is based on the fear of social isolation and begins to work the moment someone confidently expresses their point of view on a socially significant topic. Those who disagree with what they hear prefer to remain silent and not speak out, because they are convinced that they are in the minority and are afraid of isolation.
There is a pattern that accomplished mature individuals do not succumb to the fear of social isolation and are able to express their opinions without regard to the public. It is these people who move progress and stimulate global changes. The second half of humanity is the guarantor of strength and stability in society.
Many people believe that management techniques are only useful to those whose profession is related to management. In fact, this is a set of techniques that can be applied in any area of life where society is present.
Do not succumb to the provocations of your old, harmful neighbor, build the right relationships with your children, establish contact with unpleasant relatives or employees; in the end, it will be profitable to sell your dacha or even a sofa on Avito.
In other words, the set of techniques will work with absolutely all people, regardless of their gender, age and social status.
For people in leadership positions and entrepreneurs, the first thing they should do is learn how to manage people. Of course, it’s not enough just some tricks gleaned from different sites.
Masterful management of people requires a full range of techniques and even a slightly modified worldview.
But I’ll tell you about this later, but now – 10 ways that will be useful to you in your career and in life.
1. Right View
There is a special look that makes people reckon with you, recognize you as a strong opponent at the subconscious level.
This view can be useful in any controversial situation when you want to declare that you are worth taking into account and you make the decisions here.
You need to look into the eyes, but not at the surface of the eye, but as if through it, looking into the soul. The result is a piercing gaze that declares your decisive attitude. And people feel it.
2. Energy break
To get what they want, people sometimes use the tactless question method when surrounded by other people. In private, you would not hesitate to refuse or answer negatively, but in public you are confused and may agree or answer so as not to seem greedy, secretive, etc.
To avoid falling for this bait, you can use the energy pause method. You look into the person's eyes as if you are about to respond. He prepares to accept your answer, but you don't answer.
You continue to look at him but don't say anything. He looks away in confusion, and then you start talking about something else. After such an incident, he will no longer try to force you to answer in public.
3. Pause and encouragement
Sometimes people try to demand something based solely on the intensity of their demand. That is, the person basically understands that his demand is unfounded, and you understand this.
Nevertheless, he actively and very emotionally demands something, hoping that you will give in, fearing conflict. If you support his tone or begin to object, a conflict will occur.
Instead, pause and encourage the person in a friendly manner to continue the conversation. Feeling supported, a person will stop getting excited and begin to speak more calmly.
But even after that, do not stop the silence, nod and encourage him to talk further. The person will begin to explain, then make excuses and, finally, apologize.
4. Eye protection
Of course, you are not the only one who uses some techniques, and not only consciously. It happens that people unconsciously feel what they need to do to achieve what they want, and they behave that way.
If you notice the gaze of your interlocutor, he may use some kind of psychological influence on you, whether consciously or not.
Remember: you are not obliged to play a staring contest with him by accepting the rules of his game. Look into his eyes, smile, letting him know that you noticed his gaze and you don't care, and look at other objects.
5. Overcome hostility
Life often confronts us with unpleasant people with whom we are simply forced to communicate and maintain good relations.
In order to maintain normal communication or get something from this person, you will have to really overcome your dislike for him. And not just putting on a fake smile, but imbued with sympathy and kindness.
How to do this if you are facing a scandalous, nasty guy?
Imagine him as a small child. If a child behaves badly, it means that he is embittered, unhappy or spoiled. In any case, the environment is to blame for this.
Basically, it's true, so you're not even fooling yourself. When you see this person as a child, you cannot be angry with him, and people always feel kindness and sympathy, and this disarms them.
6. Pressure
Many people put pressure on their employees, relatives and friends to get what they want. What it looks like from the outside: repeated repetition of the same demands - sometimes soft, sometimes hard, sometimes persistent and emotional, sometimes unobtrusive.
The main purpose of pressure is to deprive you of hope that the request or demand can be avoided.
The person makes you understand that you simply cannot do it differently; he will stand his ground until the very end.
What can you do about it? It helps to call a spade a spade. For example, you can immediately ask the person: “Are you putting pressure on me?” As a rule, a person then gets lost. Equally important is the ability to firmly say “no.”
7. The ability to say “no”
You must learn to say “no”; this will be very useful in the fight against various kinds of manipulators, among whom may be not only obsessive partners, but also your friends or family.
You must learn to say exactly this word - “no”. Not “it won’t work,” or “I don’t know,” or “we’ll see,” but a firm “no.”
8. Don’t explain your refusal.
This is also a great skill that is acquired with experience. If you refused someone, said your firm “no”, be able to do without explanations and even more so without excuses.
At the same time, you should not feel guilty for refusing without explanation. People feel the inner mood, and if you hesitate within yourself, they will get comments from you and maybe even persuade you.
Again, it is not always a good idea to refuse without explanation, but there are times when it is necessary.
9. Position without evidence
In negotiations, evidence of correctness often plays a negative role. Rightness is a state that is transmitted at the level of sensations. You feel right and other people agree with you.
If you start to prove your position with arguments, this can destroy your confidence in the rightness.
Let's say you make one argument, and your interlocutor refutes it. If after this you give a second argument, it means that you agree that the first one was unsuccessful, and this means the loss of your positions and unshakable faith in your rightness.
10. Fix a new role
If you take on a new role - head of a department, team captain, or some other - you need to immediately fix it, outlining your authority. Do as quickly as possible in your new role what you could not do in your previous role.
Give some order, make a decision, ask for an answer from your subordinates, and so on. The longer you wait to take on a new role, the more your rights may be reduced.
These ways to manage people and prevent yourself from being manipulated are only a small part of all the techniques of management art that change not only your communication style, but also your worldview. And you can acquire it by learning from professionals.
Management art and a new worldview
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I hope everyone knows this saying: “He who does not know how to lie will not be able to recognize a lie!” This also applies to manipulating people. There, the manipulation of people can be observed all around.
Manipulation is a technique that can be used to influence a person. The result of manipulation: a person changes his opinion, changes his behavior or performs the desired actions of the manipulator. Manipulation is worth learning and knowing all its subtleties, since without this technique today it is simply impossible to survive in modern world, especially if we're talking about about business.
How to manipulate people? Basic manipulation techniques:
Technique #1: Love Manipulation. There are 3 love schemes:- one person loves, and one person does not love;
- both love;
- both don't like
Technique No. 2: We connect pity. Remember: losers love to be pitied. When we feel sorry for a loser (by nature this is weak people) - you can easily twist ropes from it later. Always be careful with those who try to pity you. This, of course, does not apply to everyone, but still.
For example, we feel sorry for our work colleague: “What have you done? It's okay, calm down! No matter what happens, we are all human and can make mistakes! There are no perfect people! Come here, I’ll hug you!” With such words, we gain the trust of our colleague, and then a little later we begin to spin it into what we need.
Technique #3: Lying. This is probably the most common technique among all of us. How can we make a person believe in something? Well, of course, you don’t have to go far, you can just deceive him. For example: “Mommy, they took the money you gave me today out of my pocket.” And what do you think your mother will do after these words? Well, of course, he will give his beloved child that same money. As a result, by deception, the child fooled his mother around her finger.
Technique #4: Frequent repetition. Also a very popular type of manipulating people. Everyone probably knows this saying: “Call someone a pig many times and soon he will grunt!” Let’s not go far, let’s take as an example our favorite “box” (TV), and there they show an advertisement: “Buy a phone in Hello - and you will become a WOW person!” And they play it 1000 times a day. And what happens in the end? One day your phone breaks down and you need to buy a new one. You go shopping looking for a phone and then BANG, you suddenly remember that the coolest and most reliable phones are offered in the Allo store. This is of course funny, but the fact remains a fact. Technique No. 5: Take care. Has anyone encountered the following situation? “I washed the dishes for my wife and vacuumed. Let my beloved rest - she has a legal day off today! Then I’ll hug her, kiss her and whisper in her ear: “Kitten, today I’m going to the sauna with my employees, I’ll also relax, otherwise I’ve been exhausted all day!”
Remember, if out of the blue they start taking care of you carefully, pay attention to it. Most likely they are trying to manipulate you.
You can also remember most of the advertising videos and posters with the words: “We are the most reliable company! We care about you and people come first for us!” And between the lines you can see the following: “Buy, “our dears,” buy more! It’s not in vain that we try and spend so much money on advertising just to lure you in!”
Technique No. 6: Seduce and tempt. I am sure that every person has succumbed to temptation. Is not it? I’ll give you a real-life example: “Let’s say you set yourself a task early in the morning; as soon as you get home from work, you will definitely clean and tidy the kitchen. And then the working day is over, you return home with the thought of “getting busy in the kitchen” and then... your friend calls: “Hello dear, let’s go to a restaurant with you today and drink wine... I have so many things to tell you...” And then you you begin to make excuses: “Oh, Lenochka, I’m sorry, but let’s see you next time... I need to do a lot of things around the house today, especially since I’ve been wanting to go to bed early for a long time - I want to get some sleep!” ...and then a friend says with a smile: “Well, calm down! I'll treat you, especially since I've already booked a table and in 10 minutes I'll be at your door! Change your clothes and come out quickly!”
Did you fall for the trick? That's it...that's what I'm talking about. You will immediately think that nothing will happen to the kitchen - it will sit for another week or two, and I’ll get some sleep - well, well... I’ll get some sleep in my old age.
Also, people are very strongly influenced by the slogans of tempting promotions that work 101%: “Today only, 60% discount on any product.” You won't find anything like this anywhere else. Don't waste your chance"
Technique No. 7: We take it by blackmail. Here is another effective method of manipulating people, which is used quite often. A simple everyday example, where parents blackmail their children: “Until you finish the porridge, you won’t get a Kinder surprise!” Sound familiar? And here’s another stupid case-example (although it occurs quite often): A girl says to a guy: “When you buy me that ring with a diamond, then I’m yours... but I’m sorry, but no!”
Technique #8: Irritation, psychos. This is one of the complex methods of how to manipulate people. Its essence is to unbalance a person for a specific purpose. It is clear that an angry person has very little control over his emotions and can say God knows what without thinking with his head. Notice one important nuance: when you are calmed down after anger, at that moment you are much easier to manipulate. The scheme is very simple: We infuriate a certain person When we reach a certain point of irritation, we skillfully stop aggression. And then we begin to calm the poor thing down. And when we calm our object, we gradually, slowly begin to offer our own version of a solution to this or that problem. In most cases, this method works Hurray!
Technique #9: Flattery. This method is suitable for manipulating people who have high self-esteem - just what you need. But there is a noticeable disadvantage - even a “blind” person can recognize flattery.
Technique No. 10: Taking advantage of people's fears. The purpose of this manipulation of people is to touch a certain fear of a particular person and put pressure on him. When a person is afraid, he again loses control over himself and acts only with emotions. For example, in a business situation: We can convince a person that today or tomorrow he will become bankrupt and to prevent this from happening, he better invest his money in growing business your friend.
Technique #11: Addressing guilt. Most often, this manipulation is used by adults when raising children. Let's say a child is punished and put in a corner in front of everyone - there is a high probability that he will not repeat this act again, since it is very shameful to stand in front of everyone. A person who feels shame is the easiest to manipulate.
