How to properly resolve a conflict situation with colleagues. Conflicts at work: how to avoid and should they? Positive sides of the conflict

Professional conflicts are a necessary evil. We have to defend our point of view, point out to others about their mistakes, get our way in the face of a lack of time or resources. This can sometimes be difficult and even painful, especially if not all parties to the conflict are willing to adhere to a work ethic.

In a work environment, confrontation is part of the production process, and most often local skirmishes take place quickly and quite correctly: both parties understand their role and are guided by the result. As a result, labor conflicts already contain a grain of compromise that just needs to be found. But sometimes we have to face those who "play dirty", using in a work situation the methods of everyday scandal: the transition to personalities, veiled or direct insults and substitution of concepts. Does everything to turn a constructive conversation into an everyday quarrel. What are the reasons for this kind of conflict?

What the aggressor stands for

“A person who voluntarily enters into conflict communication, as a rule, has already experienced a feeling of humiliation,” says psychologist Anatoly Dobin. This feeling, unfortunately, was experienced by almost everyone, but for some people the experience of humiliation is destructive. For example, if it was received in childhood, from people who are significant for the child.

“Such people,” Anatoly Dobin continues, “are characterized by suspicion and a desire to constantly control their surroundings. Their goal is to prevent the repetition of humiliation of their personality. " Unfortunately, this manifests itself as resentment and a tendency to see the attack where there is none. When someone comes to such a person with job offers, he may take them for an attempt to belittle him as a person and a professional.

There is a conflict, but not interests, but ideas about the situation. While one of the participants in the industrial conflict believes that it comes about the working points that need to be discussed and move on, the other believes that his honor and dignity are in danger, and therefore it is necessary to immediately defend them. By humiliating someone else's dignity.

The goal of the aggressor is to hurt, find the sensitive string of the interlocutor

Gender stereotypes are used (“women don’t understand anything”), insults based on age (“I’m still young to point out”), hints of incompetence (“they picked up on the ad”) or someone's patronage (“daddy added”). It can be blunt and rude or veiled, but it is no less offensive. For the aggressor, there are no taboo topics, and sooner or later he achieves his goal: by touching a sensitive string, he finally drags his interlocutor from a work situation into an everyday conflict.

It is worth at least once to respond to an insult with an insult, or even just to show that the words hurt you, and the aggressor can celebrate victory: working theme forgotten, the result has not been achieved, but nerves are frayed and human dignity is humiliated.

There is only one way to get out of this situation with honor: do not enter it. However, this is not about avoiding confrontation. The way to resolve a professional conflict is to consistently strive to keep the situation within the framework of working negotiations. Let the other try to offend you or hurt you, you must achieve a result, and only this matters. First of all, for this you need to keep yourself in hand.

How to avoid conflict

“If you've lost control of yourself, you've lost everything,” says psychologist Robert Bakel of the University of Toronto. - Manipulative behavior is aimed at provoking an emotional reaction in you, to make you behave aggressively or, on the contrary, to defend yourself. If we lose our composure, we do exactly what the manipulators want us to do. And we are losing because we are entering a game in which it is impossible to win. Self-control is imperative, and this is precisely the control of behavior. You can get angry or upset if that is your choice, but you need to watch your behavior. "

Dr. Bakel suggests several simple rules, following which a polite, well-mannered, socialized person can emerge victorious from a labor conflict with an aggressive manipulator.

Don't be in a hurry to answer. Before you enter into conflict at work, think about how you can deal with the situation, experiencing and causing a minimum of unpleasant emotions. Only then act.

Yes, this means that you have to take care not only of your feelings, but also of the feelings of the other person. Remember that he is human, even if he behaves inappropriately. That he could be hurt too. Moreover, he is in pain right now, and even if it is not your fault, it is in your power not to aggravate his suffering.

Pay attention to the speed and volume of your speech. An agitated person tends to speak faster and louder, causing the other person to raise their voice as well. The faster the speech, the less thought it has and the higher the likelihood that something irreparable will be said. Do not hurry. Weigh your words.

If possible, take a time out. This does not mean that you need to avoid the conflict, but rather postpone it. If you see that your opponent is seething with negative emotions, invite him to reschedule the conversation. “I'm not ready to talk to you about this now. Let's make an appointment for tomorrow. " This will give you time to prepare and your opponent will have time to cool off. In addition, since the conflict occurs in a team and in front of colleagues, it is possible that some of them use their influence to calm the aggressor.

Don't risk it. Sometimes it seems to us that one well-aimed blow - for example, a good joke or a particularly deadly argument - can end confrontation. But what works so well in sitcoms rarely works in real life. Be correct and don't try to end everything in one fell swoop.

Focus on the result... We get what we focus on. If someone is behaving aggressively and provoking you into conflict, you can concentrate on the insults, and then there will only be more of them. And you can translate the conversation into a constructive channel, leaving provocations and insults behind the scenes. And that brings us to the main recommendation.

Words that will help in confrontation

• "Yes". Even arguments against must start with the word "yes" - it is natural for a person to calm down when they agree with him.
• "We". Not "we are against you," but "we are with you." Try to include yourself and the other party to the conflict in one social group: people are easier to take the side of the representatives of "their tribe".
• “I understand that you are upset” - in response to all attempts to offend you. In this way, you simultaneously reject the offense and grant forgiveness for it.
• “This is really not easy” and other phrases that will show: you realize that your opponent is having a hard time, but the situation requires additional efforts.
• “I heard you” is an almost forbidden technique. Use only if the negative argumentation has gone in a circle, and this is the third circle.
• “Let's both take time out and meet in an hour (at three, tomorrow at ten)” - if you understand that the interlocutor, under the onslaught of emotions, has lost touch with reality.

Don't grab the bait. Bait is words that have no other purpose than to make you lose your composure, control over yourself and over the course of the conversation. When you lose your temper, you put the reins of government in the hands of someone who is not inclined to look out for your interests. All curses, all insults, all sexist, racist remarks are "bait" designed to distract us from the essence of the labor conflict. The answer to them is simple: "I understand that you are upset, but the work must be done."

Don't give in. Don't kick back. Do not pretend that you even noticed this blow. All you need is to bend your line.

Yes. This is hard. The person who is trying to hurt you right now may be violent. But it's up to you to decide whether his attempts will be crowned with success. It's up to you to decide if it really hurts you. By the way, the pain will subside as soon as you achieve your goal: for example, promises to complete the work by the environment, provide technical support or give funding. The result is an amazing healer for a wounded soul, and only he, by and large, matters. Of course, when it comes to work, not love.

How much can you swear and conflict with each other? Life is given only once and there is no point in wasting it on Bad mood!

I do not know if there are people among your acquaintances who adore scandals?

And among mine - there is, or rather - was, until I changed my place of work.

This black-mouthed young lady rejoiced as if she had received a birthday present when she had the opportunity to quarrel with someone. She turned into a real "beauty": her eyes sparkled, her nostrils flared, her left hoof began to rake the ground.

Well, it's just that you have a fighting bull in front of a bullfighter.

Quarreling with such was dear to himself.

She still didn’t listen to anyone but herself, and she scored any attempts to argue her position with wild scream and obscene language.

The only way to deal with such a monster is to retreat in time.

But since it was not so easy to do this - the young lady refused so easily to release the victim from her claws - she had to study literature " How to avoid conflicts? " and share the tips you've read with other colleagues.

If among your acquaintances there are fiends of hell who were sent to earth to provoke conflicts, then for the "holy water" from them you have come to the right place.

What is conflict and how to avoid it?

There are several interpretations of this word.

The most familiar is one of the unpleasant ways to resolve contradictions.

Psychologists are inclined to think that these are contradictions (that is, the lack of harmony) that arises between individuals, whole groups and even nations.

In short, this is an extremely negative phenomenon, therefore each normal person must know, how to avoid conflict so as not to spread the aggression further.

Very often we find ourselves in unpleasant situations precisely because we do not have time to react in time, do not recognize the conflict at an early stage, and understand that we are “hit” when it’s too late to reel.

Therefore, in order to escape from the battlefield even before it begins, be able to recognize the signs of an incipient conflict.

Let's list them:

1. It seems to you that the one with whom you are talking now has not yet said a single clever word.
2. Your blood literally begins to boil in your veins for every reply from your opponent.
3. You are annoyed not only by the idiot standing next to you, who is talking complete nonsense, but also by everything around you.
4. A glass of wine, a glass of brandy or a cigarette would not hurt you right now.
5. Your heart rate increases and you breathe harder and faster.
6. You are looking with your eyes for what you can throw at this annoying creature.
7. It turns out that you know a lot swear words who would be happy to teach an annoying fellow traveler.
8. Eh, why is murder a criminal offense now?

Is it always worth avoiding conflicts?

In my opinion, not always.

Sometimes you can't do without conflict in order to solve a problem.

But I advocate that you need to "get sick" in a mild form.

No tantrums, smashing dishes, inhuman yelling, massacre and other self-mutilation.

You even need to sort things out intelligently.

So, it's worth a conflict if:

It is necessary to find out the sore one with a loved one.

Couples often use it.

Naturally, the ideal option is to sit down and talk like adults, but often it is a small conflict that can defuse the situation.

You want to end your relationship with some annoying acquaintance.

My friend and her husband could not get rid of one clingy couple who certainly wanted to be friends with them.

Even directness: "We do not want to communicate with you!" did not extinguish their fuse.

My friend and her husband had to step on the annoyance of their beloved, and on a callous and quarrel.

We are talking about an important issue for you and to retire is to betray your ideals, to turn into a coward.

For example, you need to put in place an insolent person who insults your girlfriend, mother, save an animal from sadists, etc.

“Once you learn to mirror look at conflict situation- without plunging into it head over heels, but contemplating it from the side - then believe me, it will certainly be resolved with minimal losses for you! You just need to put yourself in the place of another person and imagine: what would you yourself do or want to do in this case? "
Chepova V.

But then again, think how to avoid conflicts before you get involved in them.

Perhaps you yourself inflated the problem and there is still time to calm down and correct the situation.

How to avoid unnecessary conflict?

Our mothers also taught us that the easiest way to avoid a scandal or a fight is to turn around and get away from someone who is trying to provoke you into unreasonable actions.

The advice is, in general, correct, and it is found in many specialized articles.

If, however, you simply cannot turn around and leave the battlefield due to different reasons(you don't want to offend loved one, the opponent is too angry and does not allow you to leave, you are in an enclosed space, crowded public transport, etc.), then I propose the following algorithm of action:

Calm yourself down.

Take a couple of deep breaths to normalize your breathing and tame your anger and irritation.

1. Try to calm down the conflicting side.

   This can be done if:

   • speak in a calm tone;
   • do not show signs of aggression;
   • apologize;
   • ignore the boor;
   • joke to defuse the situation;
   • say something like: "Let's talk tomorrow, when we both calm down", "I respect your opinion, but I have my own, so I suggest just ending the conversation", "We don't want to sort out our relationship in front of the audience?" etc.

In general, choose the option according to the situation in which you find yourself and depending on the personality of your opponent.

Mistakes that will prevent you from avoiding conflict

Sometimes people are surprised: “I wasn’t going to quarrel with him at all, I don’t know how it happened”.

And it all turned out this way because you, instead of focusing on thoughts, how to avoid conflict, by their actions or words, they unconsciously threw the wood-fighter into the fire.

There is a conflict if you:

• stopped speaking in a calm tone, and switched to shouting;
• took an aggressive posture, for example, "hands on hips" or, clenching their fists, put them in front of them;
• began to openly taunt the opponent;
• began to insult the vis-a-vis, even if in response to his insults;
• Have attracted a third party who is annoying or an enemy of the person with whom you are having a conflict.

Do you know who is the least likely to get into conflict situations? People who:

• do not gossip;
• adhere to a neutral position in judgments;
• carefully choose not only friends, but also just interlocutors;
• look confident in their abilities;
• don't stick their nose where they don't need to;
• have too little free time to seek adventure on their own ... Okay, let it be - head. 🙂

I suggest watching an interesting video,

as our smaller brothers offer to solve conflicts.

Avoid conflicts!

Life without them is too complicated and eventful, and you will need nerve cells to solve real problems.

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Each person throughout his life is repeatedly faced with different kinds conflicts. Typically, conflict is a signal for change and growth, improved understanding and communication, whether with oneself or with other people. While managing a conflict is challenging, it is important that you do your best to ensure that the discussion on the issue is softer and that you can bridge your differences. Since conflicts are part of our Everyday life, it is important to learn how to resolve them.

Steps

Part 1

Define the problem. Analyze the conflict to figure out the root of the problem. Some conflicts seem so complex and confusing that it can be very difficult to find true reason the situation. However, if you carefully analyze the situation, you will most likely be able to find one or two main problems of this conflict. Thanks to this, you will be able to clearly formulate what the essence of the problem is, and take the right position in the conflict.

Identify the main individuals involved in the conflict. It is also important to make sure you know who the main people involved in the conflict are. Ask yourself, who are you angry with and / or who are you frustrated with? Are you taking out your feelings on the person responsible for the situation, or on someone else? Identify the person with whom you should resolve the conflict. This is no less important than the essence of the problem itself.

Be clear about your concerns. The second side of the conflict should know what emotions you are experiencing, what is the essence of the problem and what effect this has on you. This will keep your conversation focused on your needs and emotions, and you won't blame the person for their wrong behavior.

Be an active listener. By learning to listen actively, you will be able to master one of the most powerful tools you need for healthy communication. Listening will come in handy in your daily life and will also encourage positive, open and free communication with people. By actively listening to the other person, you show that you understand their point of view. Below are some tips to help you be an active listener:

Show the other side of the conflict that you understand him and reflect on his words. Often a conflict arises when a person thinks that he is not heard or understood. This means that some conflicts can be managed simply by demonstrating understanding. During the conversation, show the person that you are analyzing their words. This allows you to better understand the other person's point of view and show him that you understand and listen to him.

• For example, if you have a conflict with a colleague, and you listened to the point of view of this person, summarize and say: “If I understood you correctly, you don’t like that you don’t take part in the creation of a new project, but you would really like to become a member of the planning committee. " Then wait for the person to agree with your words or make the necessary adjustments.

1. Work together to find a solution to the conflict. Joint conflict resolution assumes that each participant will stop placing the blame on the other and take responsibility for the conflict that has arisen. Make a commitment to do your best to work with the conflicting party to resolve the problem. There are several tactics that can help you and the person you are conflicting with to come to a common denominator:

   Stay with your opinion. Each person has a different point of view, and we do not always agree with everything that others say. Don't try to find out which of you is "right". It doesn't matter and is unlikely to help resolve the conflict.

   Be prepared to concede if appropriate. It is not always possible to resolve the issue in such a way that both parties to the conflict are completely satisfied, especially if one of the parties refuses to negotiate and stands firm. If a similar situation arises, reflect on how important the essence of the problem is to you, whether you can give in or is it better to continue the dialogue in order to resolve the conflict in another way.

   • The problem that has arisen has great importance For you? Ask yourself this. Perhaps solving this question affects your ego. If the other side of the conflict is not ready to compromise, and you understand that this issue is more important for this person, then it may be time to reach out and end the conflict.
   • When making concessions, avoid drama. You can say: “Kolya, I heard your point of view when we discussed the difference in the schedule. Although I still hold my own opinion, I see that you are unlikely to give in. I am ready to do my best to put an end to this misunderstanding. I will support you according to the schedule we have set up. " You can have your opinion while supporting the person's point of view.

2. Take a break. If you see that the situation is at an impasse, ask the other side of the conflict to give you some time to reflect on the arguments presented. However, do not keep the other side of the conflict waiting. Indicate the day and time when you can continue the conversation. You can also ask the person to think about your point of view.

   • During your break, try to put yourself in the other person's shoes and think about why their proposed solution is so important to them. Putting yourself in the place of another, ask yourself: "How would I come to an agreement with a person like me?"
   • Be sure to rethink your point of view. Can you give in on something less important and continue to stick to your position on an issue that matters to you?
   • If you have a conflict at work, write summary your last conversation in the correct form and send it to the other side of the conflict. Make sure your letter is objective and free of threats. By taking this step, you show your opponent that you understand the essence of the conflict. In addition, by doing so, you will remind the person of your point of view. You will also show that you are ready to solve the problem that has arisen through diplomacy. Moreover, a summary of the problem in writing places responsibility on both sides of the conflict.

3. Maintain confidentiality. Discuss the situation that has arisen only with the other side of the conflict. Remember, you need to solve the problem only with the person with whom you are having a conflict. If you turn a blind eye to the problem or tell other people about it, you can only count on the escalation of the conflict and the spread of rumors.

   Goodbye. If you have offended each other, find the strength to sincerely forgive, even if it is impossible to forget about what happened. This approach will prove your maturity, and this is the shortest path to resolving the conflict and continuing the relationship.

   • If you cannot forgive the other person, you will still have to find ways to continue the relationship if you are forced to live under the same roof or work together.
   • To forgive someone you need strong character and compassion. When you forgive the person who hurt you, you can take pride in your ability to forgive and resolve conflicts.
   • If rumors have already spread, ask the other side of the conflict to help you come up with a joint plan by which you can end the gossip.

4. Ask a third party to mediate. If you see that the situation is at an impasse, ask for help from a person who can help you in this situation. Get help from a psychologist or a trusted friend.

   • As a rule, the third party assesses the situation more objectively, which cannot always be said about the direct participants in the conflict, who are overwhelmed with emotions.

   Part 2

   Management of intrapersonal conflicts

   1. Understand the nature of intrapersonal conflict. Intrapersonal or internal conflicts are contradictions that occur within the personality. In an intrapersonal conflict, there are no subjects of conflict interaction in the person of individuals or groups of people.

      Define the conflict. Ask yourself what emotions you are experiencing and try to identify the cause of them. Keep a journal to help you keep track of your actions and feelings. A diary can be a great help when you are faced with internal conflict. This is your advisor who helps to reveal the cause of the inner conflict.

In public transport, entertainment or playground. There are a lot of options. And there are two participants in the conflict: you and your opponent. We will offer 10 points that will tell you how to avoid conflict and keep your nerves in order.

Turn off extrasensory perception

One of the opponents in the conflict necessarily possesses psychic abilities... He never asks directly, "reads the mind" of the interlocutor.

Let's give an example: Masha went shopping with a friend. In one of the shops, a friend picked up a cute yellow dress for a future party. She had no idea that Masha had the same dress, and she wanted to go to the party in it. While her friend pays for the purchase, Masha comes up with a story: they say, the girl bought a dress on purpose, because she treats Masha badly. As a result, the manifestation of joy in a friend leads to a scandal.

If Masha had said directly that she had the same dress and asked to choose a different outfit, the conflict would not have occurred. However, people tend to independently think out the thoughts and motives of another person. Because of this, internal conflict turning into hatred. Later, it turns into a scandal.

To avoid conflicts, you need speak directly about your desires, fears and fears. Don't think they're obvious. People around you simply do not know that you have a different point of view.

Curb your emotions

Splash negative emotions occurs when released into the blood a large number norepinephrine. This is one of the hormones stress. If you are a conflict person, work on the physical component of the personality. Glycine D3 can suppress norepinephrine: it has an inhibitory effect, removes "internal shaking", fear. Blocks utopian thoughts.

Great for dealing with emotions breathing exercises A.N. Strelnikova. Watch a video demonstration of the exercises of the complex.

Dim the lights

Bright light excites nervous system ... In a moment of conflict, mute it or close your eyes. 30-50 seconds in the state of "darkness" will help to concentrate on the problem and find a solution to the conflict.

Joke

Most conflicts take place on a wave of recriminations. This means that you n no need to come up with a joke from scratch - it is enough to answer the opponent's attack. For example, the interlocutor yells that you are stupid. Smile and say: "But handsome, like a penguin in a helicopter." A playful phrase will confuse the interlocutor and allow the conflict to fade away.

Mirror your opponent's claims

To reduce aggression from the interlocutor, mirror him. This will lead you to a constructive dialogue more quickly. After each phrase, specify: "Did I understand you correctly?", "You want to say ...".

Wait for the other person to speak

It is not necessary to actively participate in the conflict. Give the first word to your opponent, listen to the claims to the end. During the breaks, urge on to further monologue: "And?", "Please continue." Soon the interlocutor will get tired and will be ready to talk about business.

Admit your mistake

You're not right? Admit the mistake at the beginning of the conflict. This will eliminate the need to listen to offensive words and waste time arguing.

Admit your mistake with dignity: turn off emotions, stop blaming yourself. State the situation briefly and dryly. Explain why you did it. Indicate that you are ready to fix everything. The voice should be even, the head slightly raised. If you're worried, postpone the conversation or take a sedative.

Leave the room

The conflict can be ended by turning around and leaving the room.

Don't put advice into practice if the conflict occurs at work. In this case, excuse yourself, ask for a break. Drink water or wash your face to subdue your emotions.

Lower your expectations

Conflict presupposes a result. Even if the outcome is reconciliation, the means to achieve it can have a profound effect on the relationship with the other party. So leave the argument unfinished and let your opponent take offense. Return to the conversation when the anger has subsided.

Speak quietly

During a conflict, the conversation turns into a raised tone. Avoid this and say the words more quietly. The interlocutor will adjust to your tone. 5-7 minutes of conducting a dialogue with a calm intonation ensures its 100% solution.

Finally, watch a video that vividly demonstrates how to avoid conflict. Have a good mood!

In working conflict situations, there is no opportunity to act as during disagreements with friends or significant other. You will not be able to slap your interlocutor on the shoulder and say: “Come on, let's not quarrel!”; or hug, let alone kiss and show tenderness. Especially if a conflict arose with your boss or customer. What to do in such situations and how to get out of the situation without ruining the working relationship?

The first and most important advice is that you should not neglect the charms that nature has endowed both sexes, especially if you belong to fair half population. Women have an innate special ability to smooth corners and reduce conflicts to nothing. Turn off permission for a while difficult situation the image of "strong and independent" and include a true woman, not a bitch, but soft and soothing. Believe me, if you literally radiate feminine and light energy, then your opponent, whether he is a man or a woman, will feel this and his negative emotions will begin to subside.

It is more difficult for men in this regard. Of course, if your opponent is a woman, then you can use all your charm and soften the anger of the interlocutor. If you are unlucky, and the second side of the conflict is a man, then, of course, it will be very problematic for you to find his disposition. In such a situation, you need to know his nature and psychology, understand how he would like to see your behavior at this moment and try to behave exactly as your opponent would like it. Yes, it is not always necessary to bend your line and go ahead. Sometimes this tactic can lead to negative consequences... And although Andrei Vadimovich said that “you shouldn't bend under a changeable world,” at times it is still worth showing flexibility in order to resolve a difficult situation.

2. Don't lose face

Don't let the conflict piss you off. Remain calm and weigh your every word. If one side of a conflict situation behaves completely calmly and controls itself, the other side will certainly become at least uncomfortable. Your opponent will begin to think about the appropriateness of his anger and irritation and will notice how stupid and pathetic he looks against your background. Therefore, do your best to suppress your temper.

Perhaps you did not agree, or you really did something wrong and did your job poorly. Or maybe one of you got up on the wrong foot and just wants to take out his anger on someone. In the first situation, you should calm down yourself and calm the interlocutor, and then together find a compromise way out of the situation.

If you screwed up in your work, then obviously you should apologize for your puncture and promise to fix everything. Here you do not need to prove your case to the last and try to be a victim. Well, if your opponent is simply in a bad mood, you should silently and calmly wait out the storm of his emotions and come to terms with your role of the scapegoat, because in such a situation, arguing and escalating the situation even more is not the best tactic. If you are in a bad mood and you started the conflict, then, it seems to us, there is nothing to talk about. Stay in control and don't let negativity spoil your working relationship.

4. Cunning

Your goal should be to find a compromise that both you and your interlocutor will agree with. But no one said that you should definitely stay on equal conditions... There are several tricks you can use to get more than your opponent:

• Make demands in last minute... When the conflict seems to be resolved and both parties are satisfied, you can try to get more. Just say something like “It would be nice ...” and gently demand something more. Most likely, your interlocutor will agree to the new conditions, since he does not want to lose the result already obtained.
• Overstate your requirements. Well, then, when you see the disagreement of the interlocutor, remove these requirements. It will seem to your interlocutor that you have made concessions, and this will have a positive effect on your future relationship.

5. Wait

Take your time to interrupt the other person and express your opinion as quickly as possible. Let him blow off some steam and say whatever he wants to say. Thus, you will not only be able to fully understand what your interlocutor wants, but also ponder your next words. And also, letting off steam, your opponent may even calm down and not want to continue the conflict.

6. Assess the situation

Have a clear understanding of the state of your interlocutor and act accordingly. If your opponent is controlled by anger, then giving him logical arguments and trying to convince him of something will be a waste of energy. Wait until the interlocutor throws out all the emotions, and then enter him into an adequate state in which he can think logically and rationally.

There is no need to keep silent and keep silent about what you do not like in the current situation. If you are unhappy with something, say so. Just don't be aggressive and indignantly speak out about your displeasure. Calmly and gently explain to the interlocutor what you are not happy with and how you would like to change it.

8. Find a way out of the situation

Remember that the goal of conflict resolution is to find a way out of the situation. Therefore, do not let the conflict hang at the moment when all the accusations are expressed and the emotions have faded away. Usually the parties disperse as soon as their indignation has subsided and do not bring the matter to the end. After you and your interlocutor have figured out what each of you wants, start thinking about how to solve this situation. Leaving everything as it is guarantees the same conflict to arise over and over again until you find a way out.

There is no need to take a passive role and shift the responsibility of the interlocutor to find a way out. You both need to think through the solution to the conflict. Especially if you are the culprit. Ask how you could help the interlocutor in solving the problem, suggest your options.

10. Do not try to get away from the conflict

Have the strength and courage to endure it and show yourself with better side... Trying to get away from conflict will in no way help you maintain an image of a confident and worthy person. And even if you can evade an imminent difficult situation, it will repeat itself again in the future and will repeat itself until the conflict is resolved.