How to learn to restrain emotions - advice from a psychologist, practical recommendations. Suppression of emotions as a cause of neurotic depression

1 year ago

A condition where a person cannot express and experience emotions is called alexithymia. According to statistics, about 70% of the population suffers from this problem. How to recognize the presence of a disorder, and why should children not be prevented from crying? We're talking to psychotherapist Vladlen Pisarev.

The concept of alexithymia and its manifestation

Alexithymia is not yet a disease - rather a psychological problem.

In alexithymics, the predominant process in the head is reasoning.

One of the points by which this condition can be recognized is substitution. The alexithymic person tries to ignore his emotions, and if during an attack of anger you ask him what he is feeling now, the alexithymic person will answer: “Nothing!” He himself tries to believe in what he is talking about.

Causes of alexithymia

Alexithymia develops under environmental pressure. Adults help children become alexithymic by prohibiting the expression of feelings and emotions. “Don’t scream”, “don’t cry”, “don’t get angry” - this is just a small part of what I hear from parents every day. This is how they form lists of “allowed” and “forbidden” emotions. The first include feelings of guilt and shame. You can't be angry, but you can be ashamed. In our society, guilt and shame are promoted, reinforced, and considered “good.” Therefore, alexithymics continue to experience them, while other emotions are not available to them.

Diagnostics

The first sign of alexithymia: you begin to realize that feelings and emotions are unnecessary. As this state develops, thoughts replace emotions. A person begins to reason instead of, for example, getting angry. Alexithimiks do not care what happens around them. They are indifferent to everything.

Another important symptom is the presence of affective reactions (pronounced, violent reactions in response to something). Many people confuse them with the manifestation of emotions. Alexithymics try to be restrained and calm.

Emotions accumulate and, when there are too many of them, an affective outburst occurs. A typical example: there is trouble at work, you come home and take your anger out on your children or wife.

Risk group

Anyone can develop alexithymia. If you constantly hold back anger or irritability, and then take it out on other people, this is a direct path to the development of such a state. Normal: the person reacted instantly to the situation.

About 70% of the population suffers from alexithymia to one degree or another. Most often it occurs in men. They are brought up in an environment with big amount prohibitions on emotions. Men are not allowed to cry, they never get angry, they are always calm and restrained - this is what the ideal looks like. But this parenting model increases the risk of developing alexithymia several times.

You can't deny your child emotions. Allow him to be angry, surprised, embarrassed. Let me give you an example. When something new appears stranger the child is embarrassed. In such situations, the model of behavior of adults is as follows: “Kolya, this is Aunt Masha, she is good, go to her, don’t be shy.” This is a ban on emotion! The child must check the person’s safety and, when he feels that there is no threat from him, approach him himself. This process is important and natural, but adults violate it.

I often see a situation when a child begins to cry in public place, and they tell him: “Don’t cry! People are watching." But it is extremely important for him to live through his grief, even if it is connected, for example, with a broken toy. The message that they will buy him another one is “false.” The child has an emotional connection with this particular toy. It is important for him to mourn her. Only after this can you buy a new one, but a different one. This is not a replacement!

Consequences of alexithymia

Each organ performs a specific function and is necessary for normal functioning. It cannot be taken and “turned off” without consequences. The limbic system is responsible for emotions (a number of brain structures surrounding top part trunk) and part of the right hemisphere. Alexithymics try to live by ignoring them.

Emotions perform an important function: they determine how we feel during external environment. This is important information, because when it’s bad, you need to change something, and when it’s good, you need to try to maintain this state and improve it.

If a person does not have access to emotions, he lives for a long time in a stressful situation that needs to be changed. But he cannot do this because he does not identify her as “bad.”

The brain is designed in such a way that there is always an emotional reaction (remembering something - experiencing an emotion, admiring a picture - receiving an emotional response). It can be compared to electricity, which is constantly generated.

In a normal situation, emotions are experienced and “electricity” is consumed. If it does not go away, the impulses are transferred to neighboring centers. From where chaotic signals begin to be sent to the organs for whose work these centers are responsible. Result: disruption of their functioning. This phenomenon is called psychosomatic disorders.

The most common disorders include: ulcers duodenum, arterial hypertension, ischemic disease hearts and so on.

Treatment

At the age of 18, I realized that something was wrong with me in terms of experiencing emotions. Then I began to try to read more texts describing nature, listen to music, but until I went to therapy, this did not lead to improvements. During the consultation, it turned out that I have access to 13 emotions, and there are more than 100 of them. I worked for a long time on learning to live through them. Therefore, apart from therapy, nothing will help with alexithymia.

Text: Natalia Kapitsa

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Suppressing emotions and feelings through guilt and shame leads a person to a depressive reaction. Guilt and shame force him to replace body values ​​with ego values, reality with images, and love with approval. He puts all his strength into realizing a dream that is not destined to come true, because it is based on an illusion.

The illusory nature lies in the fact that a person’s condition and the degree of his satisfaction depend solely on the reaction of others. Recognition, acceptance and approval become his main goals, completely ignoring the fact that their achievement is impossible until a person recognizes, accepts and approves of himself.

This illusion does not take into account that pleasure is primarily an internal state that spontaneously evokes favorable reactions from others.

Repressed emotions include those whose origin is associated with the anticipation of pain, namely hostility, anger and fear. These emotions are suppressed if they cannot be expressed or tolerated.

The individual has no choice but to deny them. This situation arises when the will of the parents and the will of the child collide. When this happens, the original cause of the conflict turns into clarifying the question of “who is right and who is wrong,” and the child’s feelings no longer matter.

Since it is extremely difficult for the parent to admit or even momentarily imagine that he might be wrong, the child is eventually forced to comply. Being subordinate to the will of his parents, the child develops a style of behavior in his relations with them that makes his growing up as easy as possible.

However, underneath the external conformity lies a resistance that gains strength and flares up as the young person gains more independence during adolescence.

Teenage rebellion does not release emotions repressed in childhood. It builds on the revealed prerogatives of adolescence and thus introduces new conflict in the relationship between parent and child. And although the teenager may have the upper hand in this new confrontation, nevertheless, the guilt and shame that are the legacy of his childhood experiences remain unresolved.

Buried in the unconscious, they fuel the flames of his opposition, the true purpose of which remains hidden to him.

The process of suppression consists of several steps: first, the expression of emotion is blocked to avoid continuation of the conflict; secondly, a feeling of guilt develops, forcing one to admit that this is a “bad” emotion; and thirdly, the ego successfully denies the emotion, thereby blocking its path to consciousness.

Suppressing emotional expression is a form of humility. The child no longer expects pleasure from his parents and is content with mitigating open conflict.

The ability to be objective, to understand that parents have it hard too and that their values ​​are determined by their lifestyle, marks the next step in the development of the child's consciousness and lays the foundation for feelings of guilt.

This stage in development occurs during the latent period, between the ages of seven and thirteen (before the age of seven, most children are too subjective to feel guilt about their own attitudes and behavior).

The ability to evaluate one's own attitudes arises from identification with parents and other authority figures. Through such identifications a person reaches a position that is beyond his “I”.

Only from this position can you turn the ego against yourself, condemning your own emotions and creating feelings of guilt. From a position “outside” the Self, judged emotions are perceived as bad. Therefore, a person justifiably separates himself from them in order to reduce feelings of guilt.

On last stage In this process, the ego tries to eliminate the resulting split in personality by denying the emotion and replacing it with the embodiment of the opposite feeling.

A person who suppresses his hostility will see himself as loving and respectful. If he suppresses his anger, he will imagine himself to be kind and benevolent.

If he suppresses fear, he will present himself as a courageous and fearless person. The ego usually operates with images: the first is the image of the body, the second is the image of the “I”, and the third is the image of the world.

If these images are confirmed by experience, the person is in contact with reality. An image that contradicts experience is an illusion.

But a person often has to distort reality. For example, to play the role of a loving and obedient child, you need to pretend that your parents are loving and caring people.

Since illusions arise in the mind, they are maintained by its ability to rationalize. Thus, they influence not only a person’s behavior, but also the quality of his thinking.

Arguing with logical judgments is quite difficult. But a person living in illusion is convinced of the moral “purity” of his position and can give enough arguments in its defense.

Usually you have to wait for the illusions to collapse into the abyss of depression before a person is open to help. And depression in this case is inevitable.

Sooner or later the reserves will be completely depleted, and the person will find that he can no longer continue. In a state of depression, a person literally does not find the strength to maintain normal functioning.

Everything is vital important functions are suppressed: appetite is reduced, breathing is weakened, mobility is severely limited.

As a result of such a decrease in vital activity, energy metabolism decreases and the senses become dulled.

A person who is in touch with his body does not become depressed. He knows that pleasure and joy depend on the proper functioning of his body. He is aware of his bodily tensions and knows what causes them.

In this way, he can take appropriate steps to restore positive bodily well-being. He has no illusions about himself and about life. He accepts his feelings as an expression of his personality and has no difficulty verbalizing them.

Sedona method (Emotional Release Method), developed by Lester Levenson. Lester Levinson was a very successful producer when he unexpectedly found himself in a clinic with a whole set of cardiovascular diseases. Doctors predicted that he would die soon and/or be bedridden for the rest of his life. But L. Levinson decided differently for himself. He realized that all his problems had their key on the emotional level. Therefore, he developed and applied for himself a very simple and very effective method"releasing emotions"

Most people use three ways to deal with their feelings and emotions: suppression, expression and avoidance.

Suppression- this is the worst method, since suppressed emotions and feelings do not go away, but grow and fester inside us, causing anxiety, tension, depression and a whole range of stress-related problems. The repressed energy of these emotions eventually begins to control you in ways that you don't like or control.

Expression- This is a kind of ventilation. By sometimes “exploding” or “losing patience,” we free ourselves from the oppression of accumulated emotions. You may even feel good because it translates energy into action. But this does not mean that you have gotten rid of these feelings, this is just temporary relief. Plus, expressing our emotions can be unpleasant for the person on the receiving end. This, in turn, can cause even more stress as we begin to feel guilty for hurting someone by expressing our natural feelings.

Avoidance- this is a way to cope with emotions, distracting from them through all sorts of entertainment: conversations, TV, food, smoking, drinking, drugs, movies, sex, etc. But despite our attempts at avoidance, all these feelings are still there and continue to take their toll on us in the form of tension. Thus, avoidance is just a form of suppression. It has now been proven that various emotions and desires are reflected in our body in the form of tension (tension, spasms) in very specific areas. By the way, the methods of so-called “body-oriented psychotherapy” are aimed at getting rid of these clamps, sometimes giving absolutely fantastic results that are unattainable with medicinal methods.

Even systematic exercises on complete relaxation of all muscle groups (progressive relaxation method) give very good results for mental and body health and significant improvement mental abilities. Since literally every cell of our body has its own representation in our brain, and any tension in the body naturally has a corresponding excitation zone in the brain.

Thus, the more such excitation zones, the fewer resources the brain has for normal mental activity. It is interesting to note that, according to this theory, “good” feelings and emotions are almost no different from “bad” ones, and also have their own representation in the body and brain. Therefore, the method of releasing emotions is aimed at working with all types of emotions. Many years of practice in its use have already proven the effectiveness and necessity of this approach.

This is a powerful method of training the brain to achieve harmony and even speed up thinking, implemented without any technical means. This is the healthiest way to deal with your emotions. This technique has a cumulative effect. Each time you release emotions, a charge of repressed energy (additional areas of the brain) is released, helping you later think more clearly, be more able to handle all situations more calmly, and in a more productive and healthy way.

Over time, by releasing more and more repressed energy, you can achieve a state of equanimity in which no person or event can throw you off balance or deprive you of a state of calm clarity. Everyone who practices this method notices very rapid positive changes in their mental and physical state. Moreover, their life goals and the plans became clearer to themselves and more positive.

You should not think that as a result of using the method, a person becomes like an insensitive doll; on the contrary, you regain the ability to experience strong and pure emotions, as in childhood, but without being “glued” to them for a long time. Also, there is no need to specifically practice this method all your life with every emotion. After about three weeks of regular practice, the method becomes automatic and stays with you forever. In the future, it will be enough just to pay attention to your feelings for natural automatic release to occur.

Step one:

Focusing. First, you need to focus on some problem area in your life - something that needs immediate attention. Perhaps this is a relationship with a loved one, parents or children; this could be about your job, your health, or your fears.

Or you can simply ask yourself, “What are I feeling right now? What emotions am I experiencing right now?” You can focus on a problem either before or after your training session. One way you can find out which problem area is you need to work, or what you actually feel right now is to get out" zero level", that is, simply, relax deeply (using any technique available to you).

Step two:

Feel it. Once you have reached “level zero”, think about what problem you would like to deal with. With focus, identify your feelings about the problem. Once you've completed the first step, go straight to your actual feelings. Ask yourself: "How am I feeling right now?" Lester Levenson discovered that All our emotions and feelings can be divided into nine main categories, or feelings.

Apathy. Many other emotions and feelings result from or accompany apathy. When we ask ourselves how we feel, we may use words such as: bored, useless, lack of self-care, cold, alienated, indifferent, defeated, depressed, discouraged, frustrated, exhausted, forgotten, worthless, hopeless, joyless , indecisiveness, indifference, laziness, lostness, loss, denial, numbness, depression, powerlessness, humility, resignation, stunned, disorientated, stuck, tired, distracted, useless, pointless efforts, low self-esteem. All this, according to Levenson, is a type of apathy.

Grief. We can use words such as: abandonment, resentment, guilt, mental anguish, shame, betrayal, despondency, deception, stiffness, helplessness, heartache, rejection, loss, melancholy, loss, sadness, misunderstanding, breakup, pity, I'm unhappy , remorse, abandonment, remorse, sadness.

Fear. Types of fear include: worry, preoccupation, caution, caution, cowardice, suspicion, timidity, apprehension, confusion, anxiety, nervousness, panic, fright, unsteadiness, shyness, skepticism, stage fright, tension, being overwhelmed.

Passion. This is the "I want" emotion. We can feel: anticipation (anticipation), craving, need, desire, wandering, controllability, envy, futility, greed, impatience, manipulativeness, neediness, obsession, pressure, ruthlessness, selfishness, anger.

Anger. We can feel: aggressiveness, irritation, reasoning, challenge, demandingness, disgust, ferocity, futility, fury, hatred, intolerance, jealousy, insanity, significance, insult, rebellion, resentment, indignation, rudeness, bitterness, severity, stubbornness, stubbornness, gloominess, vindictiveness, anger, rage.

Pride. We may feel: exclusivity, arrogance, arrogance, boastfulness, giftedness, contempt, impudence, criticism, pickiness, judgment, righteousness, inflexibility, self-love, snobbery, luck, superiority, inexcusability, vanity.

Bravery. Varieties of feelings can be the following: enterprise, adventurousness, liveliness, agility, competence, determination, awareness, confidence, creativity, audacity, courage, bravery, determination, energy, happiness, independence, love, motivation, openness, faithful, positivism, resourcefulness, self-sufficiency, stability, solid, strength.

Acceptance (approval). We can feel: balance, beauty, compassion, pleasure, delight, delight, admiration, empathy, friendliness, tenderness, joy, love, openness, receptivity, security, understanding, surprise.

World. We can feel: peace of mind, balance, completeness, freedom, fulfillment, perfection, purity, tranquility, serenity, tranquility (lack of physical stress), integrity.

Step three:

Identify your feelings. Now, with this list in mind, determine how you really feel. Open yourself up, become aware of your physical sensations - do you feel tightness in your chest? Tension in the stomach? Feeling heavy? Heartbeat? As you become aware of your physical sensations, use them as key points to explore your feelings. What word comes to mind?

When this word comes to mind, try to determine which of these nine categories your feeling belongs to. Levenson discovered that the process of releasing feelings is much more effective when the feelings are released in their most “pure” or “distilled” form - as one of the nine designated words. For example, as you explore your problem area, you may decide that your feelings are “hesitation” or “anxiety.”

You can then release your indecisiveness or anxiety and feel some relief. However, if you trace these feelings back to their source, you will find that they fall more into the category of fear than indecision and anxiety. By releasing your fear, you will find that the results are much more dramatic and powerful. It's the same as attacking the problem at the root, or plucking off only part of the upper branches.

Step four:

Feel Your Feelings. When you have determined your true feelings in relation to the chosen problem area and traced them to the root, begin to feel your feelings. Let them fill your entire body and mind. If it's grief, you may burst into tears or even sob. If it's anger, you may feel your blood boil, your breathing change, and your body tense. It's wonderful - this is the time to fully experience your feelings and emotions.

Step five:

Could you? Now that you are truly feeling your feelings about any problem area in your life, ask yourself, “Can I let go of these feelings?” In other words, is it physically and emotionally possible for you to allow these feelings to leave you right now? Think about it.

Begin to realize the deep difference between yourself - your "I" and what this very "I" feels now. Sometimes you may feel that your feelings are some kind of energy charge that is in the same place as your body, but in fact, is not your body. Or it is a shadow image that is slightly out of focus, unlike your actual self.

One way or another, at some point, you will clearly feel that your feelings are not really your feelings. And when you begin to feel the difference between your feelings and your Self, you may notice that it is now possible for you to let go of these feelings. If it is unacceptable for you to part with these feelings just yet, feel them for a while longer. Sooner or later you will reach a point where you can say to yourself: “Yes, I could let go of these feelings.”

Step six:

Will you let them go? If you were able to let go of these feelings, the next question you would ask yourself would be, “Will I let go of these feelings?” Think about it again. Often, having the full opportunity to “let go of feelings,” we are actually more likely to “hang ourselves” over them. You may find yourself thinking, "No, I'd rather keep these feelings than get rid of what I'm feeling now." If so, then continue to feel what you feel now. Sooner or later you will reach a point where you can honestly admit to yourself: “Yes, I would let go of these feelings.”

Seventh step:

When? If you were to let go of your feelings, the next question you would ask yourself is: “When?” Similar to the previous steps, at a certain point you will answer: “I would let go of these feelings now.”

Step eight:

Liberation. When you have said to yourself, “Now,” let go of your feelings. Just let them go. In most cases, you will actually feel physical and emotional release when you let them go. You may suddenly burst out laughing.

You may feel as if a heavy burden has been lifted from your shoulders. You can feel a sudden wave of cold run through you. This reaction means that all the accumulated energy from experiencing these feelings has now been released and made available to you as a consequence of the liberation of feelings that you have just made.

Step nine:

Repetition. When you release your feelings, you will want to check yourself: “Are you feeling any feelings?” If any feelings are still present, then go through the whole process again. Quite often, release is like turning on a faucet. You release some, and others immediately appear.

Some of our emotions are so deep that they require multiple releases. Release yourself as often as you can until you find that you cannot detect any sign of emotion in yourself.

Liberation of desires.

After enough practice in releasing emotions, moving in each session from specific feelings to one of the nine basic emotions, you may find that it is even more useful to turn to the deeper levels of your Self - the claims of your EGO - desires.

According to Levinson, the source of all our emotions, which we divided into 9 basic categories, are two even deeper levels - desires. I - desire for approval, self-affirmation; II - desire to control. Every act of desire is an indicator that you do not have what you want. In Levinson's words: "What we don't have is hidden in our desires." It may be confusing at first: what’s wrong with wanting approval and control? In fact, as already noted, to want means not to have. It turns out that often the desire to have something actually prevents us from having it.

Great wish.

Those who have conscientiously completed all levels and want to move even further ultimately come to the conclusion that at the heart of all our desires lies one big desire - the “desire for security.” After some time, working through this desire takes us to a new transcendental level, described in various esoteric teachings as the highest stage of enlightenment. A person who has reached this level exhibits various extraordinary abilities and capabilities.

You can not hold back your emotions, get angry, scream, laugh, cry bitterly and be loudly indignant. Do you think anyone likes such sincerity? Only your enemies enjoy watching this performance. Learning to manage emotions!

Sometimes, succumbing to emotions or allowing ourselves to be led by false feelings, we commit actions that we later repent of. At the same time, we make excuses that we have lost control over ourselves, so emotions have prevailed over reason. That is, we did not control our emotions, but they controlled us.

Is it really that bad? Perhaps there is nothing good in the lack of self-control. People who do not know how to control themselves, maintain self-control and subordinate their feelings to their will, as a rule, do not achieve success either in their personal lives or in the professional sphere.

They do not think about tomorrow, and their expenses often far exceed their income.

Unrestrained people flare up like a match during any quarrel, unable to stop in time and compromise, which earns them the reputation of a conflict person. At the same time, they also destroy their health: doctors claim that many diseases have a direct connection with such negative emotions as anger, etc. People who value their own peace and nerves prefer to avoid them.

People who are not used to limiting themselves spend too much free time in empty entertainment and useless conversations. If they make promises, they themselves are not sure whether they can fulfill them. It is not surprising that no matter what field they work in, they are rarely professionals in their field. And the reason for it all is lack of self-control.

A developed sense of self-control allows you to maintain a cool head, sober thoughts and understanding in any situation that feelings may turn out to be false and lead to a dead end.

There are also situations when we need to hide our emotions in our own interests. “Sometimes I am a fox, sometimes I am a lion,” said the French commander. “The secret... is to understand when to be one and when to be another!”

People who control themselves deserve respect and enjoy authority. On the other hand, many people think they are callous, heartless, “insensitive blockheads” and...incomprehensible. Much more understandable to us are those who from time to time “go all out,” “break down,” lose control of themselves and commit unpredictable acts! Looking at them, we also seem to ourselves not so weak. Moreover, becoming restrained and strong-willed is not so easy. So we reassure ourselves that the life of people who are guided by reason and not by feelings is joyless, and therefore unhappy.

That this is not the case is evidenced by an experiment conducted by psychologists, as a result of which they came to the conclusion: people who can overcome themselves and resist momentary temptation are more successful and happy than those who are unable to cope with emotions.

The experiment is named after Michel Walter, a psychologist from Stanford University. It is also known as the “marshmallow test” because one of its main “heroes” is an ordinary marshmallow.

The experiment, conducted in the 60s of the last century, involved 653 4-year-old children. They were taken one by one into a room where one marshmallow lay in a plate on the table. Each child was told that he could eat it now, but if he waited 15 minutes, he would get another one, and then he could eat both. Michel Walter would leave the child alone for a few minutes and then return. 70% of children ate one marshmallow before he returned, and only 30 waited and received a second one. Curious what's the same percentage was observed during a similar experiment in two other countries where it was conducted.

Michel Walter followed the fate of his students and after 15 years came to the conclusion that those who at one time did not succumb to the temptation to get “everything now”, but were able to control themselves, turned out to be more learnable and successful in their chosen areas of knowledge and interests. Thus, it was concluded that the ability to self-control significantly improves a person’s quality of life.

Isaac Pintosevich, who is called the “success coach,” argues that those who have no control over themselves and their actions should forget about efficiency forever.

How to learn to manage yourself

1. Let's remember the “marshmallow test”

30% of 4-year-old children already knew how. This character trait was inherited from them “by nature,” or this skill was instilled in them by their parents.

Someone said: “Don’t raise your children, they will still be like you. Educate yourself." Indeed, we want to see our children restrained, but we ourselves throw tantrums in front of their eyes. We tell them that they must cultivate willpower, but we ourselves show weakness. We remind them to be punctual and we are late for work every morning.

Therefore, we begin to learn to control ourselves by carefully analyzing our behavior and identifying “ weak spots- where exactly we allow ourselves to “bloom”.

2. Components of control

The aforementioned Yitzhak Pintosevich believes that in order for control to be effective, it must include 3 components:

1. Be honest with yourself and have no illusions about yourself;
2. You should control yourself systematically, and not occasionally;
3. Control should be not only internal (when we control ourselves), but also external. For example, we promised to solve a problem within such and such a period. And, in order not to leave ourselves a loophole for retreat, we announce this among our colleagues. If we do not meet the stated time, we pay them a fine. The danger of losing a decent amount of money will serve as a good incentive not to be distracted by extraneous matters.

3. We write down the main goals facing us on a sheet of paper and put (or hang) it in a visible place

Every day we monitor how far we have managed to move towards their implementation.

4. Putting our financial affairs in order

We keep our loans under control, remember whether we have any debts that urgently need to be repaid, and balance debits with credits. Our emotional state is quite dependent on the state of our finances. Therefore, the less confusion and problems there are in this area, the less reason we will have to “lose our temper.”

5. Observe our reaction to events that evoke strong emotions in us and analyze whether they are worth our worries

We imagine the worst case scenario and understand that it is not as terrible as the consequences of our inadequate and thoughtless behavior.

6. We do everything the other way around

We are angry with a colleague, and we are tempted to say “a few kind words” to him. Instead, we smile welcomingly and give a compliment. If we were offended that another employee was sent to the conference instead of us, we should not be angry, but would be happy for him and wish him a happy journey.

Since the very morning we have been overcome by laziness, so we turn on the music and get down to some business. In a word, we act contrary to what our emotions tell us.

7. A famous phrase says: we cannot change our circumstances, but we can change our attitude towards them.

We are surrounded different people, and not all of them are friendly and fair to us. We cannot be upset and indignant every time we encounter someone else's envy, anger, or rudeness. We need to come to terms with what we cannot influence.

8. The best assistant in mastering the science of self-control is meditation.

How physical exercise develop the body, just as meditation trains the mind. Through daily meditation sessions, you can learn to avoid negative emotions and not give in to passions that interfere with a sober view of circumstances and can destroy your life. With the help of meditation, a person immerses himself in a state of calm and achieves harmony with himself.

Suppressed emotions do not dissolve in the body without a trace, but form toxins in it, which accumulate in the tissues, poisoning the body. Suppressed anger - completely changes the flora in gallbladder, bile duct, small intestine, causes inflammation of the surface of the mucous membrane of the stomach and small intestine.

Suppressed fear and anxiety change the flora in the colon. As a result, the stomach becomes distended with gas, which accumulates in the folds of the colon, causing pain. Often this pain is mistakenly attributed to heart or liver problems.

Physical expression emotional stress and emotional toxins accumulated in the body are muscle tension, the causes of which can be both strong emotions and excessive strictness of upbringing, ill will of employees, lack of self-confidence, the presence of complexes, etc.

If a person has not learned to get rid of negative emotions and is constantly tormented by some difficult experiences, then sooner or later they manifest themselves in muscle tension in the facial area (forehead, eyes, mouth, back of the head), neck, chest area (shoulders and arms), lumbar, as well as in the pelvis and lower extremities.

If all these conditions are temporary, and you manage to get rid of the negative emotions that provoke them, then there is no reason to worry. However, chronic muscle tightness, in turn, can lead to the development of various somatic diseases.

Let's consider some emotional states that, being in a chronic form, can cause certain diseases.

• Depression- lethargic mood, regardless of circumstances, for a long time. This emotion can cause quite serious problems with the throat, namely frequent sore throats and even loss of voice.

• Self-criticism- feeling guilty for everything you do. The result can be chronic headaches.

• Irritation- a feeling when literally everything annoys you. In this case, do not be surprised by frequent attacks of nausea, from which medications do not help.

• Resentment- feeling humiliated and insulted. Be prepared for frustration gastrointestinal tract, chronic gastritis, ulcers, constipation and diarrhea.

• Anger- causes a surge of energy that rapidly grows and suddenly splashes out. An angry person is easily upset by failures and is unable to control his feelings. His behavior is incorrect and impulsive. As a result, the liver suffers.

• Joy- dissipates energy, it is dispersed and lost. When the main thing in a person’s life is to receive pleasure, he is unable to retain energy and is always looking for satisfaction and ever stronger stimulation. As a result, such a person is prone to uncontrollable anxiety, insomnia and despair. In this case, the heart is often affected.

• Sadness- stops the effect of energy. A person who is lost in the experience of sadness is disconnected from the world, his feelings dry up, and his motivation fades. Protecting himself from the joys of attachment and the pain of loss, he arranges his life in such a way as to avoid risk and the vagaries of passion, and becomes inaccessible to true intimacy. Such people have asthma, constipation and frigidity.

• Fear- reveals itself when survival is in question. From fear, energy drops, a person turns to stone and loses control over himself. In the life of a person overwhelmed by fear, the expectation of danger prevails, he becomes suspicious, withdraws from the world and prefers loneliness. He is critical, cynical, confident in the hostility of the world. Isolation can cut him off from life, making him cold, hard and unspiritual. In the body this manifests itself as arthritis, deafness and senile dementia.

How to work with emotions?

Emotions must be observed with detachment, watching them unfold with full awareness, understanding their nature, and then allowing them to dissipate. When emotions are suppressed, it can cause disturbances in the mind and ultimately in body functions.

Here are some tips that, if followed consistently, will help you improve your emotional situation.

A proven method, but one that requires constant effort from you, is to be kind to others. Try to think positively and treat others kindly, so that a positive emotional attitude will help improve your health.

Practice so-called spiritual gymnastics. In ordinary life, we perform it every day, scrolling through the usual thoughts in our heads, empathizing with everything around us - the sounds from the TV, tape recorder, radio, beautiful views nature, etc. However, you need to do this purposefully, understanding which experiences are harmful to your emotional health and which ones help maintain the desired emotional background.

Correct spiritual gymnastics causes corresponding physiological changes in the body. By remembering this or that event in our life, we evoke and consolidate in the body the physiology and neural connections corresponding to that event. If the recalled event was joyful and accompanied by pleasant sensations, this is beneficial. And if we turn to unpleasant memories and relive negative emotions, then the stress response is consolidated in the body on the physical and spiritual planes. Therefore, it is very important to learn to recognize and practice positive reactions.

Effective way“removing” stress from the body is proper (not excessive) physical activity, which requires fairly high energy costs, for example, swimming, exercise gym, running, etc. Yoga, meditation and breathing exercises are very helpful in returning to normal.

A way to get rid of mental anxiety as a result of stress is confidential conversation with a loved one(good friend, relative).

Create the right thought forms. First of all, go to the mirror and look at yourself. Pay attention to the corners of your lips. Where are they directed: down or up? If the lip pattern has a downward slant, it means that something is constantly bothering you and making you sad. You have a very developed sense of escalating the situation. As soon as the unpleasant event happened, you already painted a terrible picture for yourself. This is wrong and even dangerous to health. You simply must pull yourself together right here and now, looking in the mirror. Tell yourself it's over!

From now on - only positive emotions. Any situation is a test of Fate for endurance, health, and life extension. There are no hopeless situations - this must always be remembered. No wonder people say that time is our best healer, that the morning is wiser than the evening. Don’t make hasty decisions, let the situation go for a while, and the solution will come, and with it good mood, and positive emotions.