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How a woman can love herself: increasing self-esteem. Advice from a psychologist on how to love yourself and increase your self-esteem

Hello friends! Often it is low self-esteem and self-doubt that prevents us women from building relationships with others, being successful in our careers and family life. Let's see why this happens and how a woman can love herself and increase her self-esteem.

Usually, low self-esteem women's roots go back to childhood. We were not taught to love ourselves, appreciate our qualities and treat ourselves with respect. In addition, a woman by nature strives to give and sometimes does it so selflessly that she completely forgets about herself. We women need to learn to love ourselves again and take care, first of all, of ourselves.

An insecure woman behaves or is too modest, like Gray mouse, wanting to be unnoticed by anyone, or, on the contrary, her behavior is too provocative. How is that defensive reaction, an attempt to hide your self-doubt.
A harmonious personality will not fall into any of these extremes. A woman who is confident in herself simply has no need to prove anything to anyone.
A pronounced tendency towards perfectionism will not lead to good things. Such a woman, trying to be ideal in everything, does not realize that she is making simply impossible demands on herself, and, not achieving the ideal, scolds herself and executes herself. The pursuit of excellence is, of course, commendable. However, everything is good in moderation. Excessive striving for ideals indicates low self-esteem, which leads to disappointment and depression, and as a result can even lead to serious health problems.
Jealousy and possessiveness. If you follow your man’s every step, checking his pockets, SMS messages on his phone and the exact time when he returned from work, then the reason for this behavior is still the woman’s low self-esteem. You urgently need to do something about this if you value your relationship. Namely, to increase your self-esteem.
The position of the victim. You feel that the world is unfair to you, and you are an unhappy suffering woman. The habit of feeling sorry for yourself and putting pressure on pity, trying to evoke sympathy from others, is by no means a sign of a self-sufficient, confident woman.
Problems with decision making. If you can’t decide for a long time what decision to make, you constantly doubt, not knowing what choice to make, this is also due to lack of self-confidence. You are afraid of making a mistake and making the wrong decision, you doubt yourself. Constantly ask others for advice, it seems to you that they know better, they know more, are more experienced, etc.
You are afraid to dream and set worthy goals. Perhaps because you are afraid of disappointments, because you do not believe in yourself and are afraid that you will not be able to realize your dream. It is important to learn to believe in yourself. Read more about how to do this in the article.
You react painfully to criticism and any comments from the outside. No matter what they say against you, it offends you. Why? Because you don't love yourself enough. Otherwise, you wouldn't be so affected by the opinions of others.
You have difficulty communicating with the opposite sex. Communication with men puts you in a state of discomfort. Or maybe even their gaze confuses you, you already feel somehow uneasy. When you learn to love and value yourself enough, communicating with the stronger sex will no longer give you such problems.
In everything you rely only on yourself. As a result, you take on too much responsibilities and push yourself.
You try to please everyone and be good for everyone. For everyone, but not for yourself. You are ready to help everyone and save everyone, but you completely forget about yourself. As if you " The Iron Lady”, and you don’t need care and love. As a rule, this does not lead to anything good, ending in complete exhaustion of moral and physical strength.

The most charming and attractive. Or how a woman who is confident in herself behaves

Looks good, paying enough attention to your well-being and appearance
Pays attention to her health, understanding that it is important for her to feel good, to be full, so that she can share her energy with the people around her
Smiles often and creates a good mood for herself
She has her own, which charge her with enthusiasm and give her energy.
She knows how to accept compliments from others and signs of attention from the opposite sex, because she is confident in her beauty
Not only is he not afraid to dream, but he also sets goals and knows how to achieve his goals
Able to work and rest effectively
Able to say “no” when necessary, does not follow the lead of others and does not try to be good to everyone
Engaged in self-development as a woman, learning something new, working on himself and his feminine qualities
She knows how to find a balance and be not only a good wife and mother, but also a self-realized person.

6 ways to increase your self-esteem - what your self-confidence depends on

Appearance. Outer beauty, a slim body and fashionable clothes - all this can also instill confidence in yourself when you see your reflection in the mirror
Posture. The straight back, straightened shoulders, proud posture of the queen, and hence the confident gait, leave absolutely no room for even the slightest self-doubt.
Relationships with the opposite sex. A strong, harmonious relationship with your soulmate, if it is filled with love and mutual understanding, can instill in you great confidence in your feminine power.
Our achievements. Nothing increases self-confidence and self-esteem more than the successes that we managed to achieve.
State of health and well-being. If you feel great, full of strength and energy, this also promotes healthy self-esteem and self-confidence.
The right attitude and attitude towards yourself. If you consider yourself a queen, no one can stop you from considering yourself one.

So, now we know what can affect a woman’s self-esteem. So what can you do to raise it and become a confident woman? Where should you start the process of transforming yourself? Let's take a closer look.

How to love yourself and increase self-esteem as a woman - 20 practical tips

Stop criticizing yourself. Are you used to mentally scolding yourself for any the slightest mistakes? Do you shower yourself with criticism if you were wrong or made a mistake? It's time to part with this forever bad habit. This is the first thing you need to do to learn to love yourself. From now on, ban any negative thoughts and words addressed to you. Even if you did something wrong, show yourself a little more understanding, try to forgive yourself and prevent such an offense next time.
Allow yourself to be imperfect. Give up perfectionism, it will not serve you well. Don't demand too much from yourself. Just develop and work on yourself and you will gradually grow.
Accept yourself for who you are. Without condemnation and censure, without self-criticism, but with more love to yourself and understanding.
Don't compare yourself to others. Comparing ourselves with more successful, confident, beautiful people, we only make things worse by lowering our self-esteem. Compare only your current self with your past self, noticing positive changes, achievements and growth in your self-confidence.
Write down all your strengths in a notebook, your unique features and talents, mark all yours strengths. Re-read this list as often as possible, let it instill in you faith in yourself and your uniqueness
Learn to say “no” whenever necessary. Love and respect yourself more. By saying “no” to others, you are saying “yes” to yourself.
Make it a rule to work on your appearance. Visit the beauty salon regularly and update your wardrobe. It's much easier to feel confident when you look your best.
Join a gym and exercise regularly. You must feel healthy and energized if you want to become confident. You will learn in detail how to motivate yourself to play sports.
Take up interesting hobbies. Hobbies fill you with enthusiasm and fill you with energy. Read how to find your favorite activity.
Engage in self-development. Get into the habit of reading useful books at least one page a day. Where to start, read
Respect your body, your figure. If by nature you are given rounded shapes, this is your highlight, and you should not torture yourself in vain with diets. Not everyone needs to be skinny Barbie
Read affirmations that increase your self-esteem every morning, as soon as you open your eyes. You will find a list of affirmations for women.
The right environment. Avoid communicating with those who help lower your self-esteem and make you feel inferior to others. The environment is very capable of influencing ourselves and our results. Don't underestimate him.
Praise yourself more often. Celebrate even your smallest victories. You did it tasty soup- Praise yourself. You began to treat yourself with b O With the greatest respect, celebrate this progress too.
Get rid of bad habits. They will bring you nothing but problems and will only slow down your self-development. Get rid of them as soon as possible by replacing them with new, healthier habits, such as getting up an hour earlier every morning, exercising, or drinking a glass clean water after waking up. Instead of eating unhealthy fast food, shift your focus to healthy eating and healthy foods, instead of lying on the couch all day, do some simple exercises or take a walk in the park. Instead of envying the achievements of others, lead by example, set goals and go towards your achievements. All in your hands.
Make your dreams come true. Nothing inspires self-confidence more than your own successes and achievements. Go towards your goal like a woman and get your inspiring results.
Find your calling in life. You can become truly happy and bring maximum benefit to this world only if you realize your calling, your best qualities given to you by God. I recommend starting your search for yourself by studying the article “How to Find Your Calling in Life.” And if you want to go through the path of finding your calling much faster, pay attention to my .
Love yourself. While taking care of others - husband, children, loved ones - do not forget about yourself. First of all, take care of yourself, your health, timely rest and replenishment of energy. If you take care of yourself, then you will be strong enough to take care of others.
Regularly set aside time for yourself. This is the time when you can take care of yourself, go for a massage, manicure, get your hair done, or just chat with your friends. Give yourself joy and do something nice for yourself just like that. This simple rule will have a very positive impact on your self-esteem.
Be yourself. Don't be afraid to show your uniqueness and true nature. You are who you are, and that's what makes you beautiful. You are unique and unlike anyone else. Appreciate your uniqueness and specialness. Love and respect yourself for it. Then those around you will begin to appreciate and respect you.

Now you know how to love yourself and increase a woman’s self-esteem. Apply these 20 practical recommendations, and you will see how your self-esteem will increase and you will begin to value and respect yourself more.

How to increase a woman's self-esteem and love herself? Everyone knows the fact that people who are confident in themselves and in their abilities can achieve greater success in life. Unfortunately, low self-esteem, often interferes truly talented girls, girls and women achieve your dreams, yes and simply live the way they want and do that a job that they enjoy.

Don't worry, it's easy to boost your self-esteem! In this short article you will learn A few SIMPLE SECRETS OF FRENCH WOMEN that will help you completely change your life. French women are known for their charm, sophistication, and femininity. Their main secret is that they are always satisfied with themselves, love themselves, take care of themselves and constantly improve themselves.

From the article you will learn:

1. Causes of low self-esteem.

2. Secrets of FRENCH WOMEN, how to increase a woman’s self-esteem and love herself.

3. Touching video - a confession of the shyness of the video blogger and useful practical advice, with the help of which she managed to get rid of her.

You can probably name the main reason for low self-esteem yourself. As Grandfather Freud said, we all come from childhood. Not everyone knows that the main reason for the success of Jews in all spheres of activity is an important principle of education that is passed on from generation to generation - always praise your children no matter what.

A girl who is raised in a Jewish family, from childhood, hears from all her relatives the following words: “You are the smartest among us!”, “You are the most beautiful among us!” As you can guess, self-confidence, which is a harbinger of success, will help this girl go through life boldly, absolutely without doubting her abilities.

OTHER USEFUL ARTICLES: Read the article on how to build confidence in your children.

Also The reason for low self-esteem can be called (but with a stretch) the psychotype of personality. It is believed that choleric and sanguine people achieve success more often. But how then can we explain the fact that world-famous and successful Fyodor Dostoevsky, Pyotr Tchaikovsky, Frederic Chopin, Nikolai Gogol, Sergei Yesenin and even Elvis Presley were melancholic?

So, I suggest you stop delving into yourself and the reasons for your shyness, and get straight to the point- learn the secrets of self-confidence. From the French.

2. Secrets of French women, how to increase a woman’s self-esteem and love herself.

Everyone knows the fact that French women always remain satisfied with themselves and confident in themselves. At the same time, they practically do not use cosmetics and do not “correct” flaws in their appearance with plastic surgeons. Now you will learn from them to love yourself for who you are!

Secret #1. Your own secret garden

Journalist Jamie Kat Callan conducted hundreds of interviews with French women and found out a stunning secret. Most of them said that from time to time, feeling emotionally empty from minor troubles and problems, they retire to a special “their” place.

This is their secret garden. Without regret and self-reproach, they give up everything they do and retire to it, to restore strength and regain self-confidence. Every French woman has her own secret garden. One can close the curtains of her room, wrap herself in a blanket and read an interesting book all day long. Another is to do yoga. For the third, such a secret garden can be a cozy cafe in which you can hide from everyone.

Thanks to her secret garden, every French woman returns again and again to her children, her husband, and her daily activities with a newfound sense of herself in this huge world. This is extremely useful for self-esteem.

The Frenchwoman usually doesn't tell anyone about her secret garden, but the fact that she has one adds strength and mystery to her.

I want to say that not only wise French women use this method in order to be calm and confident:

Secret #2: Inspire even strangers.

Have you noticed that you often want to say a kind word to a homeless person or admire out loud the beauty of an elderly lady? Imagine how you could inspire these people, and maybe even change their lives. But unfortunate shyness stops you again and again!

Very often we do not even realize that every day we have many chances to inspire someone and, thereby, change the life around us for the better.

We can be an example to the people around us. Even how beautiful we look. Or how friendly we are. And they, in turn, will also begin to talk good words to strangers.

Try this useful exercise. Stop and try a new perfume in a small store, get into the habit of going to a bookstore near your home. At the same time, do not hesitate to compliment the saleswoman or just exchange a few words with an elderly buyer who probably suffers from a lack of communication.

You will see that your presence in the world will improve your life and can make the world itself a little better.

Secret #3: Beautiful things.

Unfortunately, according to our mentality, we are not used to using beautiful things every day. We were taught from childhood that Nice dress and beautiful tableware - just for the holiday. Our self-esteem also suffers because of this.

And the French woman uses the silver tea set given by her grandmother every day, and not just on holidays.

Here's another exercise: make it a rule to look every day as if you know for sure that today you will meet your prince. And decorate your home as if you were not a simple girl, girl or woman from a small town, but a real princess.

I assure you that the princess by blood has self-esteem that is probably off the charts.

Secret #4: Feel free to celebrate your uniqueness.

The Frenchwoman is always pleased with herself - this is the secret of her attractiveness. Helping her feel beautiful and look amazing is her unique self. Know that your lover loves you for who you are. He won’t like it if you dress like him and dissolve in him.

He will not be able to live your life for you, and you will not be able to live his life for him. While remaining loving, devoted, still remain yourself, do not betray your dream.

The Frenchwoman is firmly convinced that it was her femininity and her difference from her husband that attracted his attention to her. Therefore, it is very important for her to maintain her “difference” and individuality.

And finally, in the next section, the most interesting...

In the meantime, a video illustration on the issue of self-confidence:

Secret #5: French women don't go on dates.

American women, accustomed to the slogan “If you can, do it!”, set themselves the goal of getting married by the age of 30. And they treat this task like a job, like getting an MBA. They sit all night long on the Internet on dating sites, and go on dates in cafes. These dates are more like interviews. Eventually American women experience “dating fatigue” syndrome by the age of 30.

Things are different for French women. They don't go on dates in cafes, they They use the art of dinner parties to meet people. They bring the potential groom into the circle of their friends, into the cozy atmosphere of a dinner party with delicious food, in which the chosen one can truly relax and express himself. And the French woman herself can show off her intelligence, sophistication of manners, culinary talents and her beauty.

While American women lie awake at night, worrying about whether their next date will work out, French women are calmly thinking about what to cook - magrets de canard or coq au vin.

I also HIGHLY recommend to all my readers to visit Pavel Kochkin’s online workshop “I love myself!” . This is a real bomb! Your world will turn upside down! You won't recognize yourself! And here is a link to all his trainings, including the super training “Married to a Millionaire!”

3. Touching video - a video blogger’s confession of shyness and useful practical tips with which she managed to get rid of it.

See you again on the blog pages. I wish everyone inspiration, love and self-confidence!

Psychologists talk a lot and often about the need to love yourself. Experts are convinced that this is necessary for the correct formation of a full-fledged personality. But what is self-love? Perhaps in ensuring a comfortable existence for yourself? But won't this become a manifestation of selfishness towards loved ones? There are many different questions that need to be answered.

So how can a woman love herself and increase her self-esteem? Why do complexes appear? Are they objective? So, let's figure out how to love yourself this way and what are the ways to normalize self-esteem?

Why you need to love yourself

Statistics say that almost half of women are dissatisfied with themselves, their appearance, certain character traits or quality of life, which causes many complexes and depression. They do not know how to love and value themselves. How then can a woman expect recognition and understanding from others?

Self-love does not mean neglecting loved ones at all. This is the desire to be better, smarter, more beautiful, to achieve success in life. It will fill you with self-confidence and confidence in a bright future.

Often women do not understand this and continue to suffer in silence, considering themselves unlucky and unhappy. However, the ability to love yourself must be learned. This daily work, requiring patience and perseverance, which will reward you with harmony and peace in your own soul. Many people do not understand how to love themselves, but the advice of a psychologist will help them cope with this difficult task.

How to learn to love yourself

First of all, you should allow yourself to be imperfect.

No one is able to know and be able to do everything, even the most beautiful, rich and famous. Every person makes mistakes in life, perhaps irreparable ones. He forgives them to other people, why can’t he forgive himself? You should learn from them so as not to commit them in the future, but do not be tormented by the thought that nothing can be corrected. You must be able to let go of the past by drawing the necessary conclusions.

There is no need to feel sorry for yourself by creating the image of a victim.

Pity gives rise to a feeling of helplessness and hopelessness. Even a person deprived of nature, a disabled person, can find himself in this life if he has sufficient willpower. Why should a healthy, pretty and full of strength woman feel sorry for herself?

Getting everything done to completion is a necessary condition.

Unfinished business indicates weakness, defeat, and inability to deal with difficulties.

Don't make comparisons with other people

Every woman is unique in her own way. It is better to compare yourself today with yesterday and celebrate positive changes. You should praise yourself more often for achievements achieved, even the smallest ones. It's even more useful to write them down. Every day they will increase, and along with this, self-confidence will appear. You only need to celebrate your strengths. Everyone has shortcomings, so don't dwell on them.

Happy people are those who spend their entire lives doing what they love.

By choosing an activity to her liking, a woman achieves much greater success. They inspire, add confidence in their abilities, and relieve negative emotions.

Exercises

How to accept yourself this way and what is the technique that helps you love the real you? There are several simple exercises that should be performed daily:

going to the mirror, you need to praise yourself; At first, during training, internal tension will arise, but over time it will disappear;
Slouching is a sign of low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence, so every day you need to work on your posture and gait in order to learn to keep your back straight and your head high.

A woman receives from the world around her a mirror reflection of the emotions and attitude that she feels and sends to him. And self-love fills her with joyful, positive feelings. At the same time, one should not confuse self-respect with pity or selfishness. After all, there are two types of such feelings.

The most common form of self-admiration is when a person thinks that he is better than everyone else.
The second is based on self-pity and the belief that all life is pure bad luck and injustice.

Both types of self-esteem contradict reality. In order to make it adequate, first of all, we need to recognize this contradiction. How can you love yourself while being selfish or insecure?! Of course this is impossible.

Methods for increasing self-esteem

Psychology has various methods for increasing self-esteem. One of them suggests looking at yourself from the outside, like a stranger, and finding real traits that inspire respect. To do this, the following steps are required.

You need to sit in silence and remember the pleasant moments of life that evoke a feeling of pride in your actions. You should write them down on paper.
At the next stage, you need to write down memories that left you feeling awkward and ashamed of your behavior. These events should be analyzed and their causes identified. Then you need to forgive yourself for your mistakes and not return to them again.
Having compared the results of two exercises, you need to find a middle ground, your real qualities.
It is necessary to make two more lists: the first will contain objects and events that you like, cause positive emotions, and in the second – those that provoke a feeling of irritation.
You should think about how to remove from your life those phenomena that cause negativity. If this is not possible, you need to change your attitude towards them and not get irritated by their presence. It is better to accept these things as inevitable, like rain or snow, which will end someday.
The first list should be used as an antidepressant, helping to improve mood and restore interest in life.

These simple exercises will help you love yourself, and in the future will improve not only mental, but also physical health.

Reverse action

What is important is the attitude towards the surrounding world, that is, towards those events, people, things and circumstances among which a woman lives. This is a reality that gives joy and sorrow, and we must be grateful for life. After all, there is no other world and there never will be. You cannot judge other people: acquaintances, relatives, colleagues. They must be responsible for their decisions and their actions.

If something in others irritates you, you need to analyze your behavior. It is believed that those character traits that a person condemns in others are present in himself, which is why they offend him. You must try to correct them in yourself, or you will have to put up with them in others. By accepting your shortcomings and stopping constantly criticizing yourself, it is easier to cope with your complexes and raise your self-esteem.

smile in response to an insult;
if money is running out, donate a certain amount for charity;
You can get rid of the feeling of fear with the help of laughter.

Thus, by giving kindness and love to the world around you, you can receive more of the same in return.

Relationships with parents

If you look for the origins of self-dislike, you often have to go back to your childhood. Usually the reasons lie in the relationship between parents and daughters and sons. Trying to see their dreams come true through their children, many mothers and fathers put undue pressure on them. Resentment toward parents sometimes goes away over many years.

To get rid of this destructive emotion, you need to learn to forgive - both your parents, and yourself, and other people. How to learn to accept yourself, your mom and dad for who everyone is? Psychologists suggest doing the following for this.

If you remember how your mother scolded you in childhood, you need to say kind and affectionate words to her, even if it is difficult at first.
We need to take care of old relatives. Help will respond with gratitude, and she, in turn, will return vital energy.
There is no need to try to please everyone, including parents and relatives. It's still impossible.
Help must be selfless. At the same time, you should not allow anyone to manipulate you. A person himself must determine the amount of his assistance.

In your relationship with your parents, you should try to form a positive common memory; it will help you forget and forgive childhood grievances. It's worth trying to open your emotions without blaming anyone. Discussing old grievances together will help. If your parents are no longer alive, you must try to reproduce this conversation in your imagination and forgive them.

Think positively

How to love yourself? To do this, you need to learn to be grateful both to yourself and to this world. It is important to find a small reason for joy every day. Phrases of gratitude can be written down and read at any convenient time. Thoughts are material, so they should always be positive.

Often women try to push away, drive away those memories that cause pain. They want to get rid of their worries, but sadness and melancholy return with even greater force. But these feelings cannot be ignored, they must be experienced in order to then be forced out of the head.

There are a few more useful tips that will help you understand how a woman can love herself:

good deeds will not only cause an increase in vital energy - this could be charity or volunteering;
there is no need to restrain and hide your emotions, but you should not allow them to control you;
no need to carry flash negative emotion on others - it is better to retire and calm down, let go of the situation;
we need to learn love from others, to live life to the fullest, rejoice interesting book or a movie, laugh at a good joke, give gifts, and soon the world will reciprocate;
you need to try to let yourself go and do what you always wanted, for example, go on a trip, or jump with a parachute.

Knowing how to accept yourself, you will be able to learn to love, forgive and see yourself and the world as they are. As a result, you can confidently look to the future. It will be beautiful and will give kindness and recognition in return.

“You are perfection, you are perfection
From smile to gestures, beyond all praise
Oh what bliss, oh what bliss
To know that I am perfection, to know that I am ideal..."
(fragment of a song from the film “Wind of Change”).

Not many girls can boast of such self-esteem. It's no secret that confidence in one's perfection makes ninety percent of the success in the life of any woman. Let's find out why?

How can a woman love herself and increase her self-esteem?

The benefits of high self-esteem

Causes of low self-esteem in women

Primary positive self-esteem is formed in childhood by parents or other close adults. Approval of actions, praise, encouragement, emotional intimacy, all this gives the baby the opportunity to experience a sense of pride and self-esteem. The attitude of loved ones is a kind of mirror, through it the girl understands what she is like. For example: “I am good because mom and dad praise me.”

Dad's attitude makes a special contribution to girls. His admiration and always warm, gentle attitude will be an example of a psychotype for choosing a companion in the future. Lack of affection, intra-family conflicts, distant and infrequent communication cause anxiety and a feeling of insecurity. The girl is in constant tension, anticipating a negative assessment from her parents. Alas, children understand everything “in their own way” and are too straightforward.

If loved ones often use hurtful words or are always dissatisfied with their behavior, the girl clearly forms the understanding that she is just that - bad, because mom and dad cannot lie. Thus, parents form the primary self-esteem of “Real Princess”, “Ugly Duckling” and many others. Of course, this is not the only factor influencing. Character, special worldview and experience make their contribution. In our conscious life, already as a girl, we analyze our reactions, behavior and, perhaps, note undesirable moments that indicate low self-esteem:

Excessive self-criticism, “I’m too fat,” “my legs are too short”
Feeling offended, indignant at criticism
Indecision, fear of making a mistake (especially in public), fear of spoiling your impression of yourself and losing friends (loved one) due to a wrong action
The desire to please and the fear of upsetting anyone by refusal
Perfectionism, any assigned goal is ideal - a severe frustration when it is impossible to get closer to the ideal “I want to be like Vera Brezhneva”, “study at Moscow State University”
Feelings of guilt, any mistake made is perceived incorrectly as extremely important or irreversible
Hostility, constantly defensive position for no reason, war with supposedly constant attacks
Negative worldview, “everything is bad”, “I can never do this”, “I will never become like this”, “we are all going to die”
Envy, indignation, always a negative assessment of achievements, as well as hidden or obvious joy at the failures of friends or other people from the inner circle.

As a rule, girls with low self-esteem are entirely dependent on society's recognition of their achievements. They are confident that the degree of love and praise they receive directly depends on how diligent they are in work, relationships or studies. Failure or a result lower than planned (often unattainable) entails the fear of losing the love and affection of loved ones. Rough criticism, a negative assessment by society (no matter from whom), is taken to heart and can hurt.

For example, a girl put on a beautiful dress, did her hair, and an envious neighbor angrily shouted after her, “Where are you dressed up, you’re still a fat girl!” - alas, she will sincerely believe it. As a result of infrequent trials, such people choose a monotonous lifestyle. Their choice falls on work, environment, according to the principle “I’m not offended here”, “here I’m important and the right person" They are afraid of change, of drawing attention to themselves, but they can be bold in their judgments and criticism towards others. However Life is going In turn, such a strategy does not improve the quality of life.

How to increase a woman's self-esteem?

You realize that this can no longer continue. Your personality requires change. This does not mean “putting on a mask” and playing the role of a confident, lively girl. No. The first necessary push is to admit to yourself that you are THAT girl with low self-esteem. And this is wrong! It's no one's fault, it just happened that way. And this can be changed. It’s as if they installed “pirated Windows” on your laptop, and you’re glitching  You’re not bad - you’re great! Only you need good “firmware” from the right reactions, so to speak “licensed Windows”.

In the case of a laptop, everything is clear, we call a specialist - two hours and three thousand rubles do their job. It’s more difficult with people; they don’t like to work on themselves. Especially if it's unpleasant. Believe me, it’s unpleasant to admit that you have “ineffective firmware,” but it’s even more painful to “overwrite an effective one.” However, otherwise everything will remain in its place. Whether you take on yourself or not is your business. Without sufficient determination there will be no use. Where to begin?

Ways to increase self-esteem for a woman

Try to find out what people around you think about you. Ask them for a short description. For example, what animal or phenomenon might they associate you with and why. Let’s say “lightning” - because it’s bright, fast and dangerous  and so on.
Embrace your appearance. Make videos, ask your friends to make them, write blogs, preferably close-up and in full height. Look carefully and listen to your voice. The first relation will be negative. You won't like anything. This is a reason to study your gestures, posture, facial expressions and work on it. Make videos and watch them again until you're happy with yourself. This will give you confidence in your own attractiveness in public places. Maybe you’ll stop blushing 
Think about your reactions. Remember and analyze cases that fit the list of signs of low self-esteem. Look for what exactly caused it. Try to capture your feeling at that moment.
Create a wish/goal map. Write clearly on one sheet of paper by area of your life, or better yet, paste a photo from a magazine with a picture of the desired object or achievement. Try to make them more specific. If it's your husband, find a photo of a man you like. If this is a car, stick this particular car, etc. Then, without unnecessary fantasies, evaluate your position and the “distance” to the desired objects. Ask yourself a question in each area in turn - “What must I do to have this?” Write down your answers. Make an action plan: lose weight, get another job, get a driver's license, etc.
Find like-minded people with whom you can openly discuss your “work on yourself.” This will help distinguish real fears/desires from false ones. Ideally a psychologist. But in our society, many are not ready to see a specialist; this is considered a sign of illness. As a result of independent struggle, there are not many results, people quickly give up, there is not enough knowledge and self-organization. And believe me, only after working with a psychologist comes the realization of what a dense misconception this is. A visit to a psychologist is not a shame. In the end, no one may know about it. It's a shame to be unhappy when you can make yourself happy.

“One hundred buses stand motionless in a row
And the cars hum - salute to beauty.
Lady, what is your name?

To realize themselves in life and achieve success in various areas, women have to put in a lot of effort. But watching the people around you, it’s easy to notice that the amount of effort expended is not always proportional to the result. There are women who constantly fail, despite all their efforts. This happens in a career, building personal happiness, communication, including with the opposite sex. Such women, most likely, do not even suspect that the answer lies in a lack of faith in their own strengths and low self-esteem. Without realizing and solving this problem, it is impossible to radically improve your life, feel personal value, relevance, and finally become happy. Knowledge of the basics of psychology helps a woman increase her self-esteem and self-confidence. Professional psychologists provide support on the path to gaining self-confidence.

Self-esteem reflects how adequately a person evaluates self-importance as individuals against the background of other people and relationships with them. This is an understanding of the characteristics of one’s individuality, positive and negative traits. The way in which one’s own personality is assessed affects all aspects of human life, deeply personal and related to one’s role in society.

Psychology offers many ways to increase self-esteem and Experts distinguish three types of self-esteem:

Adequate or ideal. A woman gives an accurate assessment of her abilities and capabilities.
Low. It leads to a woman constantly doubting herself and what she can achieve, refusing to take steps to improve her current situation. life situation, almost always dissatisfied with myself.
Overpriced. Such an assessment of one's own personal qualities and potential can lead to the commission of erroneous and even risky actions and loss of caution.

People most often turn to psychologists if they consider their self-esteem to be low. Its extreme case is the formation of an inferiority complex. If a woman does not feel her own worth, is unable to reveal her potential, treatment allows her to increase her self-esteem. No person is perfect; you can find a lot of flaws in everyone. But if you concentrate on them, consider yourself a failure, in other words, do not love your own personality, it is difficult to attract the attention of others, much less arouse love.

Please note: For adequate self-esteem, it is important how a woman views her own shortcomings. A person with high self-esteem takes them for granted, but finds the inherent virtues in character, behavior, and appearance and demonstrates them favorably to others. A woman with high self-esteem notices and appreciates her own successes.

Healthy self-esteem

It is safe to say that happy, cheerful, sincere, cheerful woman has adequate self-esteem. Women with high self-esteem have certain qualities. Similar women:

accept their appearance as it is, but are ready to change it better side;
mistakes are perceived as lessons and conclusions are drawn for the future;
are not afraid of criticism, calmly accept compliments;
easily communicate even with strangers;
they value theirs equally highly;
develop harmoniously physically, emotionally, spiritually;
set goals and achieve them.

Such women, of course, also face problems and life difficulties, but high self-esteem opens up prospects for strong individuals and inspires hope for positive changes. Self-sufficient, self-confident women are always the center of attention of others. Men are also attracted to these qualities.

Low self-esteem

If a woman does not feel love and respect for her own personality, she often does not notice or appreciate her achievements, and becomes fixated on failures and unfulfilled desires. There is a high probability of the appearance of numerous complexes and intrapersonal conflicts. Excessive dependence on other people's opinions gives rise to resentment and additional disappointment in oneself. It is difficult to establish contacts with others.

Against this background, apathy may develop, and after some time, depression. Psycho-emotional problems, if not responded to in time, can lead to disturbances in the body, manifested by physical symptoms. There is a high probability of developing psychosomatic disorders. To prevent this, you need to try to change your life. Psychology will help you to love yourself and raise your self-esteem on your own or with the help of a specialist.

Heightened self-esteem

When a woman’s own assessment of her personal qualities far exceeds what she actually has, problems also arise. Such a woman is convinced that she has no shortcomings, recognizes that only herself is right, and is confident that she does not make mistakes. Inflated self-esteem is most often formed in childhood by parents with the best intentions. But in the future, this leads to the woman overestimating herself, making mistakes, sometimes taking risks, and setting unattainable goals.

People around such women don’t like them either. Their desire to always be in the center of attention, to command, to manage those around them naturally does not find understanding. And the aggressiveness that such women show if they don’t agree with them is often repulsive.

Psychologists have long proven that subconsciously people are drawn to self-sufficient individuals. It is people with adequate self-esteem who attract attention as friends, life partners, business partners. High self-esteem generally helps maintain physical and mental health.

How to recognize low self-esteem?

Every person's life is full of problems. But women with low self-esteem perceive temporary failures as characteristic feature their lives, draw false conclusions from them, which lead to making wrong decisions.

Women with low self-esteem most often have a certain set of character traits:

dissatisfied with yourself and your appearance;
constantly subject their own personality to criticism, even for small things;
give too much great importance assessments of others, often react painfully, feel like a victim;
suffer from pessimism and negatively perceive the surrounding reality;
reliable, although it does not bring them joy;
often refuse the opportunity to choose, their own desires;
do not take responsibility;
Any committed action can be justified.

Often women with low self-esteem are jealous and envy the successes of other people. Planning, setting goals and achieving them - many women with low self-esteem do not even dream about this. As a result, they have little exposure to the feeling of happiness. They also rarely succeed in self-realization in life. Psychology comes to the aid of such a woman, helping her to increase her self-esteem.

What causes low self-esteem?

Parents who make mistakes in raising their own children, often even with the best intentions, can lay the foundation for the formation of low self-esteem. Overly demanding parents who take their child’s successes for granted and, instead of praising them, point out that the result should be much better, teach the child to be dissatisfied with himself.

Frequent criticism creates a lack of confidence in one’s own strengths, a feeling that failure is exactly what one deserves. Strict, unkind parents cannot raise a child who will love himself and calmly accept all his positive and negative characteristics. Mom and dad, of course, do not want to harm the child. Often they simply reproduce the experience of their own childhood and have no idea about the psychology of childhood. Fix these errors in adult life, psychology helps raise self-esteem for a man or woman.

Children are very sensitive to their own failures. They love to compete and strive to be first. Even while playing board game, the baby may burst into tears if, for example, another participant’s chip came to the finish line first. And when children spend a lot of effort, study hard, train, but do not become the first (in sports, in school subject olympiads, in creative competitions), this upsets them and undermines their self-confidence. The task of adults is to help the child cope with grief, to convince him that even participation in the competition is already his great achievement.

A dangerous situation from the point of view of self-esteem can be when there is nothing to strive for and clear achievable goals have not been set. This is true for a person at any age. The lack of tasks, the need to waste energy, to change something in life leads to apathy, and sometimes to depression. Some may even stop taking care of their appearance. Self-esteem that is not too high in such circumstances plummets.

Confidence or uncertainty is often shaped by the social environment. A similar rule works in childhood, is true for adult women and men. An adequate attitude towards oneself appears due to good example, which can be imitated. A self-sufficient, purposeful, self-satisfied woman is able to captivate her friend with her example and help her believe in her own capabilities.

And if you are surrounded by people who lack initiative, criticize everyone around them, feel sorry for themselves, but do not want to change anything, it is easy to become infected with such an attitude towards yourself and towards life, and slowly begin to lose confidence in your own abilities. You need to approach the choice of your social circle consciously, trying to be closer to people who are success-oriented and overcome difficulties. Their desire for self-improvement can captivate and force them to act. This will have a positive impact on self-esteem.

Those children who have physical health problems or defects in appearance usually find it most difficult to evaluate themselves positively and to feel confident in their own abilities. They really are different from other children - this fact is difficult to ignore. Competent, loving parents always help the child to correctly perceive his inherent characteristics, but it is difficult for them to protect him from others, especially peers. Children usually do not spare those who are different from them or cannot answer.

To avoid ridicule and bullying from peers, it is important to try to eliminate shortcomings and try to adapt to them. For example, find other talents in an overweight, unathletic child and develop them. Even a small success can make him feel confident and self-worth. A child or teenager will see the goal ahead and focus on achieving it. The growth of self-esteem will not take long to come.

Why is self-esteem so important?

Statistics show that low self-esteem is more often a companion of the fair sex. As a result of improper upbringing and other reasons listed above, many women do not know how to correctly perceive their own successes and failures and are too dependent on the opinions of others. For this reason, they make many mistakes in life path, have difficulty achieving self-realization.

Important! The higher your self-esteem and self-confidence, the easier and faster it is to set yourself an achievable goal and achieve its implementation.

For success in life, it is important for a woman to love herself. This has nothing to do with narcissism or ego. Self-love makes it possible to calmly accept all your own qualities, whether they relate to appearance, abilities, behavior. Then change what can be corrected. Each goal achieved will strengthen self-confidence and give determination to move on. If it is difficult to decide to take the first step on this path, psychology will help a woman increase her self-esteem and self-confidence.

Psychologist Nikita Valerievich Baturin will provide more information on the issue of helping to increase self-esteem if you ask him a question at VKontak page.

Important! Having high self-esteem makes it easier to get desired job, advance along career ladder. But for most women this is not the only meaning of life. Finding a worthy partner, creating a harmonious family, raising happy children - almost all women dream about this.

Self-esteem and communication with a man

Men are attracted to women who are confident. It is interesting to communicate with such a woman - she is a fascinating conversationalist. If he has his own point of view, he is not afraid to express it. She is able to give in without feeling like a victim, without thinking that this is a sign of weakness.

A woman with high self-esteem knows how to present favorably own merits. She is not without shortcomings, but her calm attitude towards them allows her to keep them in the shadow of her advantages. If the issue concerns fundamental disagreements, such a woman gets her way. But he does this in such a way that the partner will in no case remain offended, although he will experience dissatisfaction.

A man, communicating with a self-sufficient woman, controls his behavior, since a woman with high self-esteem stops unacceptable actions and manner of communication at the very beginning with her characteristic firmness and delicacy. Representatives of the stronger sex like the fact that self-sufficient women do not like to grumble and “itch”, but clearly speak about their dissatisfaction. Of course, remaining polite. They appreciate that even in difficult situations Confident women can remain calm and think clearly.

Of course, breaking up with a man, and even on his initiative, will be a blow even for a woman with high self-esteem. But self-sufficient women more easily overcome the loss of a loved one. They are helped by a wide range of communication and interests. Close friends and relatives will listen and sympathize. Hobbies, sports, art, travel will distract you. Help increase a woman's self-confidence

Confident mom

When a woman becomes a mother, especially for the first time, many things change dramatically in life. There may be confusion due to lack of experience, uncertainty from fear of responsibility for the new fragile life of the baby. To maintain faith in your own abilities, you need to convince yourself that the experience of caring for a baby will grow with it, and the new mother will soon be able to give advice herself.

It’s good if older people or friends are ready to help with advice. But it is still better to leave the final say in education to yourself. If possible, involving the child's father, grandmothers or other relatives, you need to find time to pay attention to your appearance and physical fitness. The baby causes a lot of trouble and even anxiety, but you need to focus on happy events- first smiles, steps, drawing strength from amazing world communication with the child. A mother with high self-esteem has every chance of raising equally self-sufficient children.

How can women improve their self-esteem?

Working on increasing self-esteem on your own is possible for any woman. First of all, you need to use books on psychology - they tell women how to love themselves and increase self-esteem. In addition to regular books, it is easy to find a lot of materials on the Internet - e-books, articles, audiobooks and other resources.

Many people prefer video materials. One of these resources is the channel of a psychologist and hypnotherapist Nikita Valerievich Baturin. His channel contains videos that will help you work on increasing your self-esteem.

Social phobia is a common accompaniment of low self-esteem. Video teaches how to overcome it

If problems with self-esteem have gone far enough, the help of a specialist can be effective. A psychology expert will teach a woman how to love herself and increase her self-esteem in individual sessions or working in a group. Another way is to take part in a special training or seminar, or take courses. The issue of increasing self-esteem worries many women, so many events in this direction are carried out. Being among people who are united by one task, a woman receives an additional incentive. She can also find friends with whom she will further pursue her goal and share successes along this path.

Seven steps to ideal self-esteem

If you follow the advice of psychologists, you can become a confident woman and increase your self-esteem in a few months. It is important to have a clear desire to change yourself and own life, determination to complete what was started and consistently implement all recommendations.

Circle of friends

First you need to evaluate your inner circle of friends. If a woman’s self-esteem is low, most likely there are people next to her who do not strive for change, who have no ambitions, perhaps lazy, lacking initiative, and lacking motivation in life. Contacts with people who are strong, but who take advantage of someone else’s character weaknesses and assert themselves at the expense of others, only further reduce self-esteem. This kind of social circle needs to change.

It is important to establish contact with people who experience success. Purposeful and prosperous, they are able to instill confidence in their abilities in those around them. In communicating with them, a sense of the value of one’s own individuality will gradually come, the attitude towards personal time will change, and the desire to set goals and achieve them will appear. The very first achievements will force you to respect your own personality and believe in your own strength.

No self-criticism

To increase self-esteem and love yourself, as psychologists advise, you need to stop finding flaws in yourself, in your own actions, in the world around you. Stop focusing on them and beating yourself up. You need to avoid negative assessments of your appearance, career, and personal life. You need to find your strengths, focus on them, work on them and develop them. It is useful to think about your own uniqueness and value as often as possible, until it becomes a habit and ceases to raise doubts.

If you stop focusing on your own shortcomings, often exaggerated and even far-fetched, you will have the energy and time to be creative and set a worthy goal, for example, for self-improvement. No need - let this be a lesson that will show how to act in the future.

No comparisons

Comparing themselves with other people, women often feel their self-sufficiency disappearing and begin to judge themselves. After all, there are many people around who have achieved more and look more attractive. Comparison with others will only hinder your work on increasing your own self-worth. When you see someone else's success, it is important not to feel envy - you need to be inspired by it, learn from such examples. Envy is a feeling that can devour from the inside, take away energy, and it is better spent on building a renewed personality.

The only comparison that can be allowed is comparing the old self, not expecting change, with the new one. Ready for success and having already taken steps towards the hard way. What is also important is that when comparing, do not focus on the level of results achieved. It is better to concentrate on the new knowledge acquired, on the positive experience gained.

Appearance

Even recognized beauties always try to change something about themselves for the better. You need to take care of your appearance. Being well-groomed will give you self-confidence. A visit to a hairdresser or cosmetologist means not only self-care and improvement appearance, but also copes well with buying new cosmetics or an outfit.

Important! The role of appearance in achievement success in life cannot be underestimated. But a flawless face and body are not a guarantee or the only factor in achieving it. A huge number of people have achieved fame and success, having a completely ordinary appearance, but possessing charisma.

Beauty is created not only by makeup, elegant hairstyle, fashionable dress. A healthy diet and exercise will improve the condition of your skin and hair and have a positive effect on your figure. During sports training, the body produces endorphins - hormones that cause a feeling of joy and relieve pain. This has a positive effect on both mood and general condition nervous system.

Perseverance

The path to increasing self-esteem will not be easy. But one should not give up when the first difficulties appear. If you make plans, outline things to do, and then stop halfway and do not implement anything, your self-esteem will likely decrease even more. On the contrary, successfully overcome difficulties enhance it and inspire new achievements. Elementary laziness can ruin the best undertakings. But you have to try to cope with it. For example, make routine work more interesting or reward yourself with some kind of purchase or sweets.

To make it easier to achieve your goal, you need to look for motivating factors. For example, getting up a little earlier and doing exercises means getting closer to the desired slimness. It's better to take small steps, but every day. For example, studying foreign language, three hours in a row is difficult to set aside, but 30 minutes every day is quite achievable. It's important to take action. If you find a like-minded person or follow an example to follow, things will go even faster. It is also important to constantly praise yourself. This is the simplest advice that psychology gives on how to increase a woman’s self-esteem.

Unusual actions

It’s easy, convenient, familiar to be in the comfort zone. For example, dedicate every evening to TV series. Even worse, when faced with any difficulties, console yourself with an excess of sweets or alcohol. The familiar environment seems safe, protecting from a hostile, inhospitable world. But it also protects from real life, in which there is beauty, positive emotions, adventure, finally. To increase self-esteem, you need to learn to break stereotypes, go beyond your comfort zone, while remaining calm and collected.

The first steps can be very simple - go to work on the road, talk to stranger. Instead of watching a TV series, go to the pool. Learn or take courses. With the help of new impressions, knowledge, and acquaintances, you can significantly increase your self-confidence, and fall in love with these new qualities in your personality, and finally, with your whole self.

Diary of achievements

To become a confident woman and increase self-esteem, psychologists recommend keeping a diary and recording daily successes of any scale. To begin with, it is best to list the qualities that a woman values in herself. Even a woman with low self-esteem should definitely find them. Then think about what qualities you would like to develop in the future, and also write them down in your diary.

Next, you need to fill out a diary every day - write down all your achievements there. You can even set yourself a minimum goal (five or seven) for each day. This should not be scary - achievements will not necessarily be large-scale, any overcoming of oneself is important. I got up early - it’s already good. I gave up the cake - a big plus. I sent my resume to a new job - it was simply great! Such a diary stimulates and inspires action, increases your own effectiveness, and gives you the opportunity to believe in yourself. Final result- exactly the one for which everything was conceived: gaining love for one’s own personality and adequate self-esteem.

Useful practices

Solve many life problems. They use it, among other things, to learn and get used to adequately assessing themselves. Meditation requires a calm environment, a place where a woman likes to be. It is best to do this outdoors, but a home environment is also suitable. It is important that children or anyone else do not interfere during this time.

First, you need to sit (or lie down) comfortably, inhale and exhale deeply several times. This will allow you to concentrate. Then you need to start getting rid of internal negativity, tormenting questions and problems, resentment towards yourself and others. The result of a 10-15 minute meditation should be peace, lightness and, of course, confidence.

When basic meditation becomes familiar and easy to do, you should move on to working with affirmations. This is the name for short inspirational phrases that give the mind a positive attitude. There are many affirmations available in literature and video materials, but you need to choose the most suitable ones, taking into account your own weak points and negative settings. A separate meditation is devoted to each affirmation, repeating it over and over again for about a quarter of an hour.

Visualization is added to the sound over time. This is done during meditation or just before bed. The task is to try to see yourself exactly as you want to become. Mentally give yourself maximum confidence and work through this state in detail. Using all your senses, you need to feel what a confident person feels. Imagine confident communication with other people, feel their reaction, the taste of victory over uncertainty. You need to hold the visual image for a quarter of an hour. By regularly repeating this practice, you can gradually replace your existing image with a new one, created in accordance with your wishes.

An example of a meditation that builds self-confidence:

It is also useful to master the technique of auto-training in order to quickly put yourself in order in a situation of stress, help in solving difficult problems, and strengthen self-esteem. This technique is useful because it is used not only in a quiet environment, but even in a crowded place or at work. You just need to calm down and, closing your eyes, repeat one of your most effective affirmations several times.

There is nothing fantastic about turning from an insecure victim, dependent on other people’s opinions, unhappy and always complaining about everything and everyone, into a self-sufficient, confident in her own abilities, in demand by others happy woman. This is quite achievable if a woman increases her self-esteem by following the advice of psychologists. By understanding how important changes are and persistently moving in the right direction, a woman can change a lot in life: become more attractive in appearance, achieve success in her career, change her personal life. Only by learning to love herself will a woman have the opportunity to count on recognition, respect, and love from others.

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